I'm in same dilenmA

Women are not loyal atal

simplepee:
You did not eat the food. Ebi ni o pa e..


When I tell girls, stop rushing into marriage because of just love. They say I too like money. Yes, I like money. Reason I have let love rest and ....

Carry your cross op and continue "managing". Shebi suffer dey sweet una??

How much money you do gather o....
E no go fit finish?

NarcissistKing:
You are the cause of your problem. You married someone with no job. An idle woman with high taste!

Deal with it. Or were you expecting us to advise you divorce her?

To worsen it all de lady don hit menopause. Some women menopause is as early as 32 o. O.p u don enter one Chance. Most men de love forget de fundamentals for marriage n couples. Women no de love, Dem de very strategic. De work with age n Time with physical attributes. If age no dey, Dem go wan use romance finish u like say na love

silvoclaira:
@Op I feel for you and the family. Things are really expensive out here and money nor reach.

https://www.nairaland.com/6853192/inflation-women-please-pity-husbands

Please just take it easy on your wife. The pressure on you is the same kind of pressure on her too.

Things are really hard this times in Nigeria, so we only have to be patient and try absorbing all the shocks okay.

I believe you are a good man, your wife is a good woman.

If She is into business which is a daily thing so she should know how tough things are today so you both can work it out better, you both should have a honest discussion of what os on ground today.

Lastly try and be in your best mind and shape, eat food. Take care of yourself and be healthy.

The wife is not a good woman. She is a bad woman

This has absolutely nothing to do with whether the wife works or not. The woman has other issues that are eating her up.

Bola146:


Then he shouldn't complain, if the woman he married wasn't working when they got married, he struggled to get loan she is still complaining, then he should get the woman what she wants if that is what he told her before he married her, most responsible married men are really struggling alot seriously, the wives should understand their wahala up and down, it's not easy ooo for this Buhari. Some men committed suicide because of wahala from homes, no words of encouragements, no sympathy at all. Both of them should sit and talk because what would happened if they start bringing in kids They should know better besides they are not kids.

This has nothing to do with liability.

phorget:
Make una no marry liability una no go hear...
Why should I be the one to set up a lady? What has her parents been doing? And such parents will still expect me to pay bride price o.

distinguish:
We have been married for a year now. We have been trying to conceive. Because of the emotional stress attached my wife said she can't be staying at home alone, it causes her stress. She said she wants to start doing something. At least a business.

I took a loan from my place of work and we started the business for over 2 months now. The issue now is that, I don't always have cash on me anymore. Any little money I got it's for the business. Basically, we mostly feed from the business.

Yesterday, after we returned home, she started giving me attitude, I asked her what the issue was, she started telling me how I am killing the business, not taking good care of her, not having money to take care of her and all sort of rubbish, she brought out how incompetent I am as a husband and what have you. I never said a word to reply her and its eating me up seriously, I could not sleep the whole night. This is the person that I sacrificed a lot for. I was supposed a take a professional course this November, but because of her I had to postpone it.

Please I need your advice.

PS: I did not eat the food she prepared last night.

Lol....she must have been thinking to her sef..."which kind marriage be this sef?"
Why i go marry this poor man?
Wen she was alone and wen u came back she couldn't help but pour the aggression on u as if u are the one responsible for her misfortunes, while u work ur ass out and feel worthless...am sure there is an unholy union she is keeping that is bringing in those thoughts...its a red flag....i can bet my balls that her regards and respect for u has taken a nosedive....just try and improve ursef and enjoy your life else you go just die b4 ur time

simplepee:
You did not eat the food. Ebi ni o pa e..


When I tell girls, stop rushing into marriage because of just love. They say I too like money. Yes, I like money. Reason I have let love rest and buckled up my shoes to chase money, more money and money.. When I am a bit comfortable, I will look for love.

By the time hunger wire you for marriage. And you can't afford basic decent things for yourself, that love will clear from your eyes..

Carry your cross op and continue "managing". Shebi suffer dey sweet una??

Your post doesn't relate at all. One can have both at the same time.

Divorce her now please

I m married for 4years now and we had share of quarrelling. My guy calm down, u people are going through the adjustment stage. At least the first 1- 5 yrs would have a lot shakings. Infact sometimes you even regret marrying your spouse but all na lie ( you did not make a mistake) because that's is the feeling you get

It's just a stage and it will pass over . More importantly there is need for more open communication on this current matter and lay emphasis of her verbal abuse. Tell it breaks your heart, I m sure she'd apologize . I can tell you that your wife is a good woman but just letting emotions drive her instead of being logical , that's woman for you. Guy calm down you go still carry this your wife enter Maldive go chop am well well. God go do am.

distinguish:
We have been married for a year now. We have been trying to conceive. Because of the emotional stress attached my wife said she can't be staying at home alone, it causes her stress. She said she wants to start doing something. At least a business.

I took a loan from my place of work and we started the business for over 2 months now. The issue now is that, I don't always have cash on me anymore. Any little money I got it's for the business. Basically, we mostly feed from the business.

Yesterday, after we returned home, she started giving me attitude, I asked her what the issue was, she started telling me how I am killing the business, not taking good care of her, not having money to take care of her and all sort of rubbish, she brought out how incompetent I am as a husband and what have you. I never said a word to reply her and its eating me up seriously, I could not sleep the whole night. This is the person that I sacrificed a lot for. I was supposed a take a professional course this November, but because of her I had to postpone it.

Please I need your advice.

PS: I did not eat the food she prepared last night.

I want to first appreciate you for your commitment towards your house, is not all men that çare about the well-being of there wife so I really appreciate you for it
I have some questions I want to ask you
1, She knew you get the loan from work?
2, Are you open up to her financially?
If you can answer all this question faithfully the problem can be resolved, don't develop hatred she has a point eating from business will affect both of you try to understand her shallom

Take easy for my brother, everything will be fine.

MadamVanessa:




It's not always right to judge from one sided story. I wish i can hear what your wife have to say as regards to the story on ground, so i can give my judgement objectively without being biased.

Swear that you have never given your opinion on a matter here on nairaland without hearing the other side of a story! You do this everyday!

Davash222:

A man will kneel and beg a woman to marry him
Same man will still pay bride price
Same man will still train and set up the woman

Just for procreation


We need to revisit and readjust some ethics in this institution called marriage.

Deep.

MadamVanessa:




It's not always right to judge from one sided story. I wish i can hear what your wife have to say as regards to the story on ground, so i can give my judgement objectively without being biased.

Yiimu ! is their something OP said that we've not heard before, or is it not the same nagging & brokeshaming women do when a man is not bringing in enough money. whats new
naa advise dem need, leave judge for courtroom

.....my advise is that you continue refusing her food till you faint off

.....my advise is that you continue refusing her food till you faint off[/quote]

Dalil8:



Spits... Na all this kind stupid advise dey make all these women dey misbehave.

I no blame una sha, some of una grow up listening to only ur mothers. Dem don brain wash una finish.

When ur woman do wrong abeg no let am slide. Make sure she apologize, then punish am. No dey apologize for problem wey she cause.

She no fit ever respect you if u dey always apologize even when na she fvck up.

she complained, yes she should have been considerate. if he had enough money he would have given her what she complained about and woulnt have posted this here. that's why I said he should talk to her about the finance issue.

There's always little or no preparation from couples before going into marriage lately. Women tend to still be used to the dating days ideas when going into marriage and men thinks that the woman should automatically adjust her reasoning since she's now married. It take two to tango. The way you toast her when she wanted to be your girlfriend, you'll need to do another toasting when you intend to take as your wife. Both of you should be realistic enough to be prepared about the next face of the relationship

Ok ;DOk

The beginning of every good marriage is sometimes tougher than expected. Relax don't worry this phase shall pass I tell you, most marriages faced even worst than this at the beginning, but later on they overcom and became stronger and wealth came. The one thing I would say is that both of you should love and co-operate with each other, prayerful and move forward. Don't let anyone here or there discourage you about your marriage.

First you have to understand this is the nature of women so you don't get too paranoid. If she's not complaining and she's not encouraging you then she doesn't love you. She must be doing one so thank God she's complaining. Don't push yourself too hard. Her life will take a new shape if you drop dead and she'll MOVE ON! Your wife needs to be talked to. Talk to someone she respects to call her to order. But if this is the first time she's nagging like this then call her and talk to her. If it's now a normal occurrence then get someone she respects and listen to to talk to her coz fact is you've married her o. It's solution you'll seek. The cost of divorce is far higher than what you seeing now

Many of you commenting about the wife working are just trying to force the issue in that direction.

Whether a woman works or not has no bearing on how appreciative she would be as regards her husband.

Also, the OP made it clear that they have been trying to conceive and the stress is getting to her.
Women have been known to behave differently when something is disturbing them.

From what the OP said i can reason that she is trying to look for something to distract her from the issues they are facing, hence her giving her husband attitude and complaining.

God will give u the strength to pay the loan finish and never never in ur life try such even if she complain from now till eternity my brother don't alter any word jus be your self...if she no give u do d do...get it outside but use ur brain...

okoroemeka:
well, for a one year old marriage with no kids yet to be having problems about finance is pointing to a clear and present danger,if children comes with your present financial issues it may be a serious problem with high blood pressure thrown in for you,try and improve your sources to be making money because as long as I can see that is the only problem you have,don't expect your wife to be footing your bills without an attitude,that is how they do and pls don't reject her food it will only make matters worse,I am now married for 21 years and I have been in your shoes and seen how it can pinch,just rethink,restrategize and think out of the box how to improve your finance and you will see your problems fade away.

They wayu guys give excuse baffles me. op has told said that he wanted to run a professional course this November but bcs of the money he borrowed from his work and used the money to set up business, what else do u want him to do? To go and Rob or what

Hi Op,
l feel ur pain, but one mistake u made is empowering ur wife and expecting her to take care of the home, it hardly ever end well, no matter what, make sure u still run things in the house, the empowerment u gave her should simply be for her to take care of her little needs & probably her parents.
Never & l repeat never leave the the upkeep of ur home solely to ur wife, when u go this route, with time, she will willingly support u out of her own volition without disrespecting u. Shalom!

This has nothing to do with whether the woman is working or not

Fourwinds:




Guys should avoid (I will manage with you) kind of women.every woman na material being.dem like good things and naso GOD create dem.

That is a possibility

dawnomike:
Take her for pregnancy test... She might be pregnant already unknown to you.
Women misbehave alot when pregnant.

MISSCONGENIALITY:
The truth is a business that started 2months ago had not grown enough for you to start eating from it. It will run down in a week. Remember each time one goes to the market to restock, prices of goods are never the same. The amount you buy vegetable oil today is not the same amount you will buy it next week. Which means even with the little profit you thought you made, you will still not have enough to restock talk.more or buying extra things for the house. Someone who's starting a business for the first time will find it very hard to make it because the business is still in it's infant stage.
Your wife knows what's she's experiencing and you should understand with her. If you people eat off the 2montjs old business, then be rest assured it will close down soon and that's why your wife is seeing. Things are really hard.

Wisdom

distinguish:
We have been married for a year now. We have been trying to conceive. Because of the emotional stress attached my wife said she can't be staying at home alone, it causes her stress. She said she wants to start doing something. At least a business.

I took a loan from my place of work and we started the business for over 2 months now. The issue now is that, I don't always have cash on me anymore. Any little money I got it's for the business. Basically, we mostly feed from the business.

Yesterday, after we returned home, she started giving me attitude, I asked her what the issue was, she started telling me how I am killing the business, not taking good care of her, not having money to take care of her and all sort of rubbish, she brought out how incompetent I am as a husband and what have you. I never said a word to reply her and its eating me up seriously, I could not sleep the whole night. This is the person that I sacrificed a lot for. I was supposed a take a professional course this November, but because of her I had to postpone it.

Please I need your advice.

PS: I did not eat the food she prepared last night.

Oxygen for a year old marriage is communication, you guys have to sit down and talk, bare all the emotions out. The conception thing can be the underlying issue but I believe the main issue is that you don't have a family vision. I tell folks before they get married to have a family vision, it will save them a lot of head aches. Your vision will encompass finance, children, career/business, home running etc. Then your vision will require goals to make them achievable. As it stands you and your wife are going in two different directions she wants more TLC and you are financially strained, it's just like your left leg going one direction and the right leg going the opposite, there is no directional movement. A family vision will help take care of direction, every party knows where the family is heading, financial vision will ensure that your wife doesn't ask for what the family doesn't have, romantic vision will ensure that every ones romantic/emotional needs are satisfied.

You guys are really funny. This is not a matter of whether the woman is jobless or not.

Favfables1:


Did she not know your status when she said yes to you?? You're doing your best for a jobless woman and rather than her to be appreciative and supportive, she's giving you faces and all... If she thinks it's easy to make money, why is she not making enough to take care of herself (at the very least)?? Abi them tie her leg with chain??

OP, everywhere get as e be...
I believe you're a good man who is doing his best to make his wife comfortable, that's probably why you could forgo your program in favour of meeting the family needs (I like to believe so Sha)...

Go out there, work hard...work smart, make more money, and please don't succumb to pressure.... And OP, try chop food o, you can't hustle effectively on an empty stomach!!

You will find out it's basically money that causes 90% of every marriage crisis.

Before you go into marriage, pls have enough savings to avoid seeing your marriage crashes.

I'm also facing one despite we aren't married officially...