God help us bro

Oga, just continue to brace up, that's how higher percentage of we women are and not forgetting that our mouths seems to be faster than our reasoning sometimes. I even adore your wife for the fact that she even took up a teaching job unlike some that are not ready to assist in any way. Keep fighting and all the best.

Denvacandy:
We got married in 2018 and things where going smooth, i was working with a company in port harcourt and i can bodly say i was very okay, taking flight is not an issue.

When she wanted to give birth to our first child, it was through CS and i paid every damn bills amounting to 500k or so.

We moved down to ogun state and i was taking flight monthly to see her from port harcourt.

Fast forward to 2020, the comapny fold up and i lost my job, i came down to ogun fully with my wife and everything went down, feeding was hard and my savings is drying up.

You know how woman do and how to satisfy them so my savings eventually dried up and the reality was down.

She applied for a teaching job at govt school and she got employed and i was always at home.

Do she was supportive but its didnt took long when she changed and started treating me badly.

I was so sad the day she utter all terirble words to me, on how have not been a good husband and how i have not been dropping money for food and co.

how i have not been taking care of her, i almost moved to tears and i refused to eat her food for some period, i was being supported by a street friend.

How can someone you have sacrificed so much for all of a sudden change and bring out thier true color.

Dude you erred in two areas. One, you married a fool. No offense bruv. I am sorry I am going hard on you but it is true. While you were jumping flights and blowing the cash your wife did not deem it fit to ensure that you invest and create wealth that would form the basis of the commonwealth of your home. Two, you are also equally foolish sir. No offense. What were you thinking? You were making money all this while but you did not think to invest? Do you think your children will inherit your job? Dude your family is hanging on the balance. Your enemy will start making suggestions to your wife. Your wife is obviously spiritually compromised. You need to polish your CV, get your ass out there, meet with friends, bust into firms in your area and ask for a job and most importantly fast and pray that GOD rewards your hustle with success. And when you get back on your feet, make a conscious decision to never be a fool. Fools see everything as consumables but the wise see everything as investments. When GOD said be fruitful and multiply HE didn't just mean that you should breed like rabbits...HE intended you to become powerful enough to subdue the earth. So be wise. Get out there. Be aggressive with your desire to succeed. Work honestly. Grow wealth and watch your (sorry to say this again) foolish wife sing a new song!

KarinaLove:


When you were working in Portharcourt and using Flights anyhow, how many unemployed graduates did you also help get job in your firm?

Now you want pity.

You enjoyed alone. Used Flight alone.

Moral lesson: Be Kind to those you meet going up for you may meet them on ur way down.

This is a daft comment

Even if you help people dosen't gurantee they would help you back, people only retun the gesture if they have moved to help you.

And he could be mid level staff who is just paid to do his job and may not have that lobbying power.

I wish you luck in your job hunt by the way.

habsydiamond:
Uncle the best way of bringing peace to ur home is by gaining ur position back as the head of the family.... When women are put in such position they can't handle it cos they were not made to be so.. That's for married couples oo.. Try getting a job or go into business that will give u an edge over her... With that u will have ur home back... If not oga u never see anything ooo...

Na wa oooo. Some things I read on nairaland sha.
A man lost is job and the only advice you can give to him is to get a good income better than his wife own so as to regain respect.
Bro, you self check am. Just check am.
Are we men not fooling ourselves in this thing called Love and Marriage?
Of what usefulness is Love and Marriage if the people we claim to love, we can’t be there for them in their time of struggle or Low?
Is it not better not to marry? Or fall in stupid Love?
Must we really Love or marry in a man/woman relationship? Is it really worth all the time, sacrifices, efforts, resources etc?
Why are we hell bent on deceiving the average man? Why?

abobote:
The earlier we realise that nothing like love, but interest the better for us. Some people thinks their wife love or married them coz of love, my brother, nothing like that. Life generally is all about interest. As a man if you are not bringing money, you are useless to that your wife.
Few days ago my wife stopped talking to me, cos she felt offended over a conversation and she demands I apologise, but I don't know how to say sorry, so she stopped talking to me, after two days, I just dropped 10k on her account without any instruction, since then, she has been calling me baby, what is the money for . Bros, you can only husle to regain back your position as head of the family

Oga abeg leave “head of family “ position Una dey drag for marriage.
Who head of family help?
Head of family, head of family and you dey die dey go.
I want to be a real man, head of family etc are the reasons most men are stretched to the limit.
If a woman won’t be your financial backup plan in life without her demeaning or insulting you, brother she has no business doing in your life.
Know this and know peace.

Stomoney:
Almost what happens to me bro. (10years relationship) We both lived together in osun state before i was transfereed to ogun state. Last year we had introduction and planning to have our wedding this year but unfortunately i lost my job early this year. Before I knew it she started giving attitude after I lost my job, it got to a stage where she receive calls distance far from me and i began suspicious of she having another relationship. One day I caught her red handed Omo that day eh I lost myself I couldn't control myself; my legs were shaking , i confronted her and she cried n pleaded. Told her mom about her doing but couldnt narrate to my family because I was in love, so we continue again. A month later, i travelled to ibadan from osun for another interview of which she knew about and thank god i got employed that same day. I started calling my babe Immediately i left their office to tell her how everything went but to no avail.
I got so worried when I got home and i was told she said she was travelling to Lagos. Till now I couldnt here from her.
lots happenf after her traveling to Lagos which almost separated her parents but na dia wahala

Relationship ended

last month i was packing my luggage trying to relocate to ibadan, omo come see several packs of used postinor under wardrobe cabinet
That babe almost finish me but God saved me.

Ever since then, nigga don wise
Nigga be fuxking those holes hard
Nigga be making more money
Nigga gotten so many investment

No love for Niger just make more money
Live good

Hmmmmmmmmmmm
Your story is similar to mine.
Thank God your eyes are open now.

I will recommend this thread to you - https://www.nairaland.com/6048178/reality-every-guy-need-know.
Go through it to cement your transition brother.

womenareapess:
you people will be marrying those animals called NAIJA WOMEN, what do you expect for those animals

Leave those baboons alone you guys won't hear!
Just because those female baboons has brea.st and a hole doesn't make them reason like humans

Emphasis on female! Glad you know you're their male counterpart!

A baboon with a diseased gbola...and the mentality of a slave...

Exactly. women by nature are not wired to carry responsibilities. It's the man's burden. Not to even now talk of a Nigerian woman. She will nag and make your life a living head until you get back on your feet and perform your duties as a man. Women are built to be supportive not to be the bearer of responsibility. Every man should know this and know peace.

Denvacandy:
We got married in 2018 and things where going smooth, i was working with a company in port harcourt and i can bodly say i was very okay, taking flight is not an issue.

When she wanted to give birth to our first child, it was through CS and i paid every damn bills amounting to 500k or so.

We moved down to ogun state and i was taking flight monthly to see her from port harcourt.

Fast forward to 2020, the comapny fold up and i lost my job, i came down to ogun fully with my wife and everything went down, feeding was hard and my savings is drying up.

You know how woman do and how to satisfy them so my savings eventually dried up and the reality was down.

She applied for a teaching job at govt school and she got employed and i was always at home.

Do she was supportive but its didnt took long when she changed and started treating me badly.

I was so sad the day she utter all terirble words to me, on how have not been a good husband and how i have not been dropping money for food and co.

how i have not been taking care of her, i almost moved to tears and i refused to eat her food for some period, i was being supported by a street friend.

How can someone you have sacrificed so much for all of a sudden change and bring out thier true color.

many men don hustle and die in the name of slavery thing call marriage

abobote:
The earlier we realise that nothing like love, but interest the better for us. Some people thinks their wife love or married them coz of love, my brother, nothing like that. Life generally is all about interest. As a man if you are not bringing money, you are useless to that your wife.
Few days ago my wife stopped talking to me, cos she felt offended over a conversation and she demands I apologise, but I don't know how to say sorry, so she stopped talking to me, after two days, I just dropped 10k on her account without any instruction, since then, she has been calling me baby, what is the money for . Bros, you can only husle to regain back your position as head of the family

At the bolded....only the wise ones will understand that. Humans are naturally selfish and greedy we are always after our interests. Like you said there is no such things as unconditional love...Love itself is all about interest...You love someone because of your interest in them E.g for a man it could a beautiful looking woman, or big breasts or whatever. For the woman it could be the man's wallet, intelligence etc. Even your parents love you for a reason and fundamentally it is because you are their blood.

I can't justify what your wife has done but that is the reality of life and you have to face it.I wish you all the best.

@denvacandy,listen good all women are the same.

They will treat you like sh!t when you are down in any way at all.
Some of them will even believe that you will never get up or get well again.

I don’t know if it’s a good thing to have a woman around you when you are not very financially comfortable.

They are parasites.

Sorry guys it is what it is.

All women are the same bros.
I have seen in Nigerian women and European women same that don’t want their husbands to be successful so that they can trample on them anyhow.
I am really scared of a woman.
If I start writing wetin my mum take my eyes see because I no drop money when I was in 9ja no be small thing(story for another time).

Thisis2raw:
Sometimes I wonder wetin create this Nigerian gals

OP I understand your plight. Go and look for another job or get a skills.

God will help you.

Kindly check my signature.

Mariangeles:


So, your idea to marry a wife is to exploit her?
You don't want a wife, you want a slave.

Sometimes you don't need to pick offense when you see comments like that, Women have done some guys ihe Obi m gbawa a lot.

emmaodet:


Oga abeg leave “head of family “ position Una dey drag for marriage.
Who head of family help?
Head of family, head of family and you dey die dey go.
I want to be a real man, head of family etc are the reasons most men are stretched to the limit.
If a woman won’t be your financial backup plan in life without her demeaning or insulting you, brother she has no business doing in your life.
Know this and know peace.

Head of Family them: "Awon ndi providers".

emmaodet:


Na wa oooo. Some things I read on nairaland sha.
A man lost is job and the only advice you can give to him is to get a good income better than his wife own so as to regain respect.
Bro, you self check am. Just check am.
Are we men not fooling ourselves in this thing called Love and Marriage?
Of what usefulness is Love and Marriage if the people we claim to love, we can’t be there for them in their time of struggle or Low?
Is it not better not to marry? Or fall in stupid Love?
Must we really Love or marry in a man/woman relationship? Is it really worth all the time, sacrifices, efforts, resources etc?
Why are we hell bent on deceiving the average man? Why?

Yes, he should go get a good job. That is the same advice you guys give women being disrespected- MADAM GET A JOB, DON’T BE A LIABILITY, NO MAN LOVES A LIABILITY.

Last week there was a woman with this same issue of job loss and you all told her to get her ass off the couch and go work. Despite the fact that she was taking care of 3 toddlers.

Did it suddenly become a bad advice or deception because a man is involved? He should not be LIABILITY.

NOETHNICITY:
You are a smart man. Though I don't have a house but I have enough money to build one. Reason I have refused to invest all my money building a house is cos am not comfortable not having back up funds. I spend more than my salary running my house and family, yet my wife still think I need to up my game. I spend between 220-250k (probably more cos this is just a rough estimate) running my home monthly (which is more than my salary) if I include house rent and kids school fees. This money doesn't include what I give to my parents monthly as well. Yet my wife mostly puts up a air entitlement. More than one year since we had our last kid I've been treating her like she doesn't even exist.
I'm just trying to imagine what would have happened to me I didn't have more than enough to cater for my family
Fucccck love jare
Now most times am concerned about the future. God forbid if am nolonger making more money. This is really giving me concern. These is mostly the reason most men don't last long in life

if u include rent and school fees your monthly bill may hitting like 400k according to you and with a monthly expense of 400k u don't have a house. Hmmmmmm. My advice for u is cut your bills to cut your bills to 150k and start pumping the 250k saving to building a house for your self u better wise up.

Munzy14:


Sometimes you don't need to pick offense when you see comments like that, Women have done some guys ihe Obi m gbawa a lot.

O nwere ihe mmadu na agahu agutafu na forum a? Ike gwuru o!
Ndidi ka e ji a no nga o.

Newboss:


Gee make sure say you dey get toto. No go turn gay o.

Na only toto me want

Gay fire!!!

if you are already married now with a working spouse, cut your current family expenses, force your wife to pick bills while you hurriedly get a small house for the family.

TheRedpillguy:

Yes for the woman. For me I'll go get somebody younger n knows that she is there for the money instead of living in Daniel

Or in Hosea

Denvacandy:
We got married in 2018 and things where going smooth, i was working with a company in port harcourt and i can bodly say i was very okay, taking flight is not an issue.

When she wanted to give birth to our first child, it was through CS and i paid every damn bills amounting to 500k or so.

We moved down to ogun state and i was taking flight monthly to see her from port harcourt.

Fast forward to 2020, the comapny fold up and i lost my job, i came down to ogun fully with my wife and everything went down, feeding was hard and my savings is drying up.

You know how woman do and how to satisfy them so my savings eventually dried up and the reality was down.

She applied for a teaching job at govt school and she got employed and i was always at home.

Do she was supportive but its didnt took long when she changed and started treating me badly.

I was so sad the day she utter all terirble words to me, on how have not been a good husband and how i have not been dropping money for food and co.

how i have not been taking care of her, i almost moved to tears and i refused to eat her food for some period, i was being supported by a street friend.

How can someone you have sacrificed so much for all of a sudden change and bring out thier true color.

that's how women are weird. Ingrates

Women respect hustle. At least the real women do. Pick a hustle, even if its uber or keke, just be going out in the morning and coming home in the evening with small change and leave the rest for her.

pocohantas:


Yes, he should go get a good job. That is the same advice you guys give women being disrespected- MADAM GET A JOB, DON’T BE A LIABILITY, NO MAN LOVES A LIABILITY.

Last week there was a woman with this same issue of job loss and you all told her to get her ass off the couch and go work. Despite the fact that she was taking care of 3 toddlers.

Did it suddenly become a bad advice or deception because a man is involved? He should not be LIABILITY.

Honestly, I'm appalled at the double standard. No man loves a liability yen yen yen, but when it concerns a man, the woman should be understanding. I'm not exonerating the OP's wife, but I don't know the full story, so there's a need to be objective here. I think some of these men bring these stories here, because they know there are men here ever ready to do the usual women bashing for them.

That’s why they use to say on your leave period go home and tell your wife you’ve been sack and see how things unfold. May God see u through sir!!!

Beze992:


Honestly, I'm appalled at the double standard. No man loves a liability yen yen yen, but when it concerns a man, the woman should be understanding. I'm not exonerating the OP's wife, but I don't know the full story, so there's a need to be objective here. I think some of these men bring these stories here, because they know there are men here ever ready to do the usual women bashing for them.

It is their way. I bet you if the OP was a female, I can stake my full month salary that they will tell her to go get a job because her husband is stressed. They no even born her well to mention she paid bills. They will say that is bow women are, if they give you N1, the whole world would know. He should go get another job please. I said it with my full chest.

Bro the truth is your wife is really trying, is not for a woman to have a non working husband and if she doesn't give you those attitude, you will feel relax and push little.you need to buckle up and try harder to regain your position back secondly don't ever see her as a bad woman, even your mother can give you an harder attitude if it happens that she's in her shoe. Lastly thank your God she picked up a teaching job unlike other promiscious ladies out there.
Your wife is not selfish, she's hard working and contented....

Raalsalghul:


Head of Family them: "Awon ndi providers".

Hahahaha
Don’t mind them.
Head of family, head of family and you dey die dey go.
Abegii

pocohantas:


Yes, he should go get a good job. That is the same advice you guys give women being disrespected- MADAM GET A JOB, DON’T BE A LIABILITY, NO MAN LOVES A LIABILITY.

Last week there was a woman with this same issue of job loss and you all told her to get her ass off the couch and go work. Despite the fact that she was taking care of 3 toddlers.

Did it suddenly become a bad advice or deception because a man is involved? He should not be LIABILITY.

Don’t get me wrong Poco.
It is not a bad advice but you have to look at the trend, it is staggering.
90% of the time a mama loses his job, he is likely going to lose his wife too and that is very very bad.
What happens to the vows on altar? What happens to Love? Or can we safely say Love is never enough? In that case, why deceiving each other with it?

emmaodet:


Don’t get me wrong Poco.
It is not a bad advice but you have to look at the trend, it is staggering.
90% of the time a mama loses his job, he is likely going to lose his wife too and that is very very bad.
What happens to the vows on altar? What happens to Love? Or can we safely say Love is never enough? In that case, why deceiving each other with it?

Love is never enough. For a logical gender, I wonder why you guys haven’t made peace with this. Women have what they expect of their men, just as you have yours. Please enough of these wailings, you know what your partners want, do it. Provide, knack them, make their meals, keep in shape.

If your partner decides to induce high bp and depression, run. This thing no hard.

[ The simple truth is she is a bad woman and wife.if she was smart she will
appreciate him,support him,encourage him,use sweet words,to motivate him to try harder and get a job.

She would have praise him by saying my man,you have done it before and you will still do it again.you have been taking care of me and my babies,this is just a little challenge,u will bounce back.

Watch how this man will move mountains, to impress her.

But since she got no sense,the reverse is the case.


quote author=pansophist post=107773668]Lots of folks are telling him to go get a job and get himself back on track, which is not a bad advice in itself, but the angle I'm looking at it from is that, how can he be able to trust his wife again? Isn't marriage based on trust, support and love anymore? If she treated him like this when he is down, then why is the obligation on him to level up and keep up with a woman that he shouldn't be married to in the first place?

Men marry with the impression that the wife is virtuous, supportive and a ride or die ally, but Situation the op experience is so painful, bordering traumatic. Personally for me, I can't look at such woman again as my wife, and that will end the marriage. What's the point carrying a dead weight on me? If a woman can't support you when things are hard, then of what usefulness is her presence in my life?

This is why I'm a proponent of testing the virtue of any woman you want to be with it. I mean, even a sheep is virtuous and supportive when things are going on smoothly, but the true test of character is when things are rough. Just a little challenge and she messed up big time. It should be up to her to regain his trust, not for him to appease her by getting back on his feet and pretend like nothing happened.

Putting the burden of leveling up financially on the man, without pointing to the despicable behaviour of the wife is wrong, and quite unfair o him. Even children are disciplined to be moral, good and observe ordained protocols, what more of an adult woman that knows what marriage is all about when she said "I do"?. This is so Sad [/quote]