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I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Lady Confused As DNA Test Reveals Her Baby Isn’t Her Husband’s Biological Child / 15-year Old Marriage Collapses As Husband & Wife Engage In Alleged Adultery / Woman Cries As Husband Surprises Her On Her Birthday With IPhone, Money In Cake (2) (3) (4)

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Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by MiracleMe7: 10:06am On Nov 25, 2021
Oga from your story, I guess that you live in Abuja.

I want to ask you some question;

When a situation like this arises it is the men that are the cause of it.

Have you cheated on your wife before?

If you answer me then I have something important thing to tell you.

I wish you a fruitful and a happy home

3 Likes

Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Kenturkey048(m): 10:06am On Nov 25, 2021
Kobojunkiee:
Dude, this your conversation with your wife sounded more like an interrogation session to me. If say na me be her, I for turn my phone off from the time you started querying my decision to go get water across the street. For real, interrogations of that kind, and from a so-called love one... I no dey do at all. undecided

Something was not right about what exactly that you literally took to interrogating your wife's every move when it wasn't as if your kids were abandoned or something? The maid was with them so... Was she meant to report her every movement to you or something? undecided

Leaving the kids at the mercy of the maid? Are you for real? If you can't leave your kids with your maid, what do you have a maid for? undecided

It seems you didn't read where he said he's been suspecting her of cheating...
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Edusouls(m): 10:07am On Nov 25, 2021
Kai there lies are not learned, but it’s inborn from birth, a terrible Gift to them by their other beloved father, the one that visited them at Eden..
olatunde90:
Woman and lies....I'm coming let mi take some water

1 Like

Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by SIRKAY98(m): 10:07am On Nov 25, 2021
man if u want to leave long just face your responsibility as d husband and neglect her for she doing what she enjoys most...u will laugh last
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by rita25(f): 10:07am On Nov 25, 2021
dear OP abeg GETAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeye petty man

3 Likes

Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by MemeRoyal(f): 10:08am On Nov 25, 2021
hashbag1:
Nlanders,
I have been married for 9 years now, amidst several incidences that gave me suspicions over my wife's ...
the issue of trust has led us to, I am left in amazement and total disappointment.

Maybe there is something,
Maybe there is nothing
This situation can very well happen.
You don't want her to leave kids with the maid, so maybe she just wanted to do a quick dash to the house without upsetting you just as she said.
You're already suspicious and now you pick on every little thing.

This situation is not enough.
Allow her breathe, when you have concrete proof then you can talk
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Kenturkey048(m): 10:08am On Nov 25, 2021
yanabasee2:



You don't know women.....



First sign of a cheat is yelling or getting angry over little enquiry like, where are you?


@Op.... it's 9yrs and she's still in this state of misled....


The men who fall in love with married women.... Should see what their fantasy can lead to.... Destroying another man's heart.

Thank you boss...Thats the first sign....
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by ikennamadu1(m): 10:08am On Nov 25, 2021
freeborn02:


He isn't accusing her; he is suspecting her.

There is a difference between accusation and suspicion.

Don't allow your bitterness to cloud your sense of reasoning

You suppose know say that girl no get sense .

3 Likes

Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by ikennamadu1(m): 10:10am On Nov 25, 2021
InTheCloudySky:

She didn't inform him, as she didn't tell him before leaving. Remember, both of their kids are at the hospital with infection, thus both parents should've been communicating with one another if one leaves to do something. I imagine he informed them when he was going to get food for the kids and he did come back with the food for them. She, on the other hand, didn't tell him before leaving the kids. It wasn't until he called her to ask how she was coping (thinking she was at the hospital where he had left her) that she told him she was going to get water, meaning it wasn't like she told him beforehand. What she actually told him was a lie because she didn't go to get water/it wasn't water that she had gone to get, so in a way, she didn't inform him of nothing.

I don't see any insecurity here. Anyone in his shoes would be wondering what's going on. She was behaving funny (yelling at him only because he showed concern, not picking his call again, she supposedly went across the street but he went a further distance and returned before her). Anyone in his shoes would be scratching their head. He said in his OP that there have been several other incidences as well, so you can put yourself in his shoes.

Since you done point out him Bleep up... Him no go reply you again.. if em quote you... Abeg mention me

3 Likes

Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by FourElements: 10:10am On Nov 25, 2021
oldtruth:


What to say? You are apparently not a real African man. Let me tell you straight up. Real men controls. You are obviously not in control. Infact I wonder where you people see equality in marriage. The West don't even practice it. The FACT is that; "you are USELESS to your woman".
Too harsh!
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by BRATISLAVA: 10:10am On Nov 25, 2021
This is what women go through and they are told their husbands must cheat. In fact, men are encouraged to cheat. A wise woman will build her home by forgiving him repeatedly and treating his STDs while dutifully frying beans for him.

What exactly is the problem now? Aren't you a wise man?

1 Like

Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by MemeRoyal(f): 10:11am On Nov 25, 2021
Kobojunkiee:
Dude, this your conversation with your wife sounded more like an interrogation session to me. If say na me be her, I for turn my phone off from the time you started querying my decision to go get water ...
...If you can't leave your kids with your maid, what do you have a maid for? undecided
Very pretty man smh embarassed
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by MemeRoyal(f): 10:12am On Nov 25, 2021
oldtruth:


What to say? You are apparently not a real African man. Let me tell you straight up. Real men controls. You are obviously not in control. Infact I wonder where you people see equality in marriage. The West don't even practice it. The FACT is that; "you are USELESS to your woman".

Somebody will marry this one o angry

1 Like

Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Aaron12(m): 10:12am On Nov 25, 2021
freeborn02:


Lovebliss2 and many of the women on this platform don't reason clearly when it concerns women. They are more about "women supporting women" even when it is.morally wrong to do that.

They are not about morality, dignity or honor; they are more about blind unreasonable defence of their fellow women.
exactly
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Yankiss(m): 10:13am On Nov 25, 2021
hashbag1:
Nlanders,
I have been married for 9 years now, amidst several incidences that gave me suspicions over my wife's infidelity. The one that happened of recent gave me nothing more than great suspicion over any other.

My daughter and son got infection, they were admitted into the hospital. On this faithful day, I was there with them and I left the hospital in the afternoon to get something for them to eat, I got back with the food and quickly rushed down to my office to tidy some work. I felt hungry and decided to drive out, on my way to the restaurant leads to the hospital, I was in traffic when I put a call through to my wife whom I asked how she was coping and how the kids were doing, while on call with her, I heard sounds of car horns so I asked if she was out, she said yes that she was going to get water across the stree, so i was like you shouldnt have stressed yourself since
the house maid was with her, next thing she yelled at me saying why am I making ascertion as to who should go get the water or not, I was like but that isnt a big deal to ask, she was like well the house girl have been the one running errands all day, I responded saying instead of yelling at me, you would have just responded by saying the above.

As a responsible and concerned father, I decided to suspend dinner and branch at the hospital which took me 8 mins to get there because of traffic. On getting to the hospital, lo and behold, my wife was not there, just the kids and the house maid. I asked the house maid where madam was, she said she stepped out without saying where she was going. I immediately put a call through to her. "Babes where are you at, just got here now and you are not here". She immediately hung up on me, I called back, she didnt pick, called her again didn't pick, waited few mins and called, she picked and yelled "why are you looking for me" I was like but you claimed you went to
go get water but its been up to 15mins and you are not here yet, next thing she said was I'm in a uber car, Wow uber car when you just said you went across the street to get water, how does being in uber car relate to that. I requested a video call, I hung up the normal call and called her on whatsapp call, she didn't pick, I called her back again on normal call and said you aren't picking, she responded saying am in uber car now, call me on video again, I did but she still didnt pick. So I decided not to bother since declaring her whereabout seems frutile. She called back on normal call saying she was on her way home to pick some her items to quickly do an advertising shoot to model to her customers in the hospital room, that she didnt want me to get mad at her reason why she didn't tell me before she left, I was like its not a big deal telling me that after which I have found out she never did go out there to buy water.

Husbands and fathers in the house, in this kind of situation, what could have been your thought? As for me, something was not just right, and the most damning part of all these is leaving the kids at the mercy of just the house maid, I feel if there is something she is hiding from me and leaving the kids like that is what
the issue of trust has led us to, I am left in amazement and total disappointment.
My brother, that woman is shagging some dick. You don't need any evidence at all. Check out for more signs. Holding phones tightly everywhere like her life depends on it. Please, stop troubling your head. She is cheating. There's no reason to lie to u if no ulterior motive. Leaving your two children to maid in the hospital is a no-no. She showed gross irresponsibility. My advice is 1. Don't confront her yet because u don't have any evidence yet. 2. Pretend all was well and don't ask any further probing questions that would put her on her guide 3. Track her phone if u can. 4. If she is ruling ur head, apply restraint and get a side chick to avoid full shock in the event u get her hand on the cookie jar. 5. Be careful and wary of her. Very careful. A cheating wife is deadlier than a viper in ur house! 6. One day is one day. She will get caught or expose herself. Dont ever ask any friend to monitor her. Do everything urself but dont let her suspect. QED

4 Likes 5 Shares

Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Fiscus105(m): 10:13am On Nov 25, 2021
ThinkSmarter:
I'm not a married man but from my experience with the opposite sex so far, I have learnt not to put my trust in any woman, even my future wife.
I have configured my mind that my girlfriend or wife may cheat on me.
No matter how rich, handsome or good in bed you are, a cheat will always cheat.
You can't change that, it's a basic animal instinct.
I hope you are not that family oriented man.
Because most responsible fathers, husbands are the worst treated people.
This is because, women are animalistically (permit me to use that word) wired to assume a caring, responsible, home-oriented man as a weakling.
Women tend to respect and impress irresponsible men that doesn't give much Bleep about their lives.
Women respect men that doesn't give them attention.
Women love men that make them feel less insecure about their looks.
Women love men that bleeps them like a stallion.
My advice: Ignore her suspicious moves.
Stop stalking her.
Don't be emotional attached to her.
Don't beg her for sex.
Instead of you to beg for sex, you masturbate in your privacy.
Treat yourself right, wear good clothes, nice perfume.
Eat good meals groom yourself.
Act like you don't fancy her beauty again.
Provide the home basic needs like foods stuffs, house rents, light bills, etc.
Stop! giving your kids too much attention( over pampering)
This is a motherly instinct.
A man that does that is not an alpha.
But still be a responsible man, not a weakling.
Stop! Attaching emotions to relationships.
It is unmanly to attach emotions to a relationship.
Stop alcohol consumption, include fruits in your daily diet.
Reduce ur sugar consumption.
Bleep her like stallion.
Be an alpha, be in charge.
Build your self confidence.
Stop making yourself so insecure in the presence of a woman.
Good luck.



Are u putting ur trust on ur gender? With my experience in life, friends, I mean male friends have disappointed me far more than female
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by SmartGadgetz: 10:13am On Nov 25, 2021
Iyaebe:
If this is all you've got to accuse her of infidelity then go work on your mindset because you've got no proof and evidence.

Fuucck you BITCH.
Can't you help him by telling him to have a talk with his wife or even go for counselling with her or other thing.
Women supporting women even though she is cheating and lying to cover up a quicky.

Well, I wish your husbands or future one do same to you.
Stupid BITTCH.

1 Like

Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by wildikeman(m): 10:14am On Nov 25, 2021
hashbag1:
Nlanders,
I have been married for 9 years now, amidst several incidences that gave me suspicions over my wife's infidelity. The one that happened of recent gave me nothing more than great suspicion over any other.

My daughter and son got infection, they were admitted into the hospital. On this faithful day, I was there with them and I left the hospital in the afternoon to get something for them to eat, I got back with the food and quickly rushed down to my office to tidy some work. I felt hungry and decided to drive out, on my way to the restaurant leads to the hospital, I was in traffic when I put a call through to my wife whom I asked how she was coping and how the kids were doing, while on call with her, I heard sounds of car horns so I asked if she was out, she said yes that she was going to get water across the stree, so i was like you shouldnt have stressed yourself since
the house maid was with her, next thing she yelled at me saying why am I making ascertion as to who should go get the water or not, I was like but that isnt a big deal to ask, she was like well the house girl have been the one running errands all day, I responded saying instead of yelling at me, you would have just responded by saying the above.

As a responsible and concerned father, I decided to suspend dinner and branch at the hospital which took me 8 mins to get there because of traffic. On getting to the hospital, lo and behold, my wife was not there, just the kids and the house maid. I asked the house maid where madam was, she said she stepped out without saying where she was going. I immediately put a call through to her. "Babes where are you at, just got here now and you are not here". She immediately hung up on me, I called back, she didnt pick, called her again didn't pick, waited few mins and called, she picked and yelled "why are you looking for me" I was like but you claimed you went to
go get water but its been up to 15mins and you are not here yet, next thing she said was I'm in a uber car, Wow uber car when you just said you went across the street to get water, how does being in uber car relate to that. I requested a video call, I hung up the normal call and called her on whatsapp call, she didn't pick, I called her back again on normal call and said you aren't picking, she responded saying am in uber car now, call me on video again, I did but she still didnt pick. So I decided not to bother since declaring her whereabout seems frutile. She called back on normal call saying she was on her way home to pick some her items to quickly do an advertising shoot to model to her customers in the hospital room, that she didnt want me to get mad at her reason why she didn't tell me before she left, I was like its not a big deal telling me that after which I have found out she never did go out there to buy water.

Husbands and fathers in the house, in this kind of situation, what could have been your thought? As for me, something was not just right, and the most damning part of all these is leaving the kids at the mercy of just the house maid, I feel if there is something she is hiding from me and leaving the kids like that is what
the issue of trust has led us to, I am left in amazement and total disappointment.


My guy. You will ever be in doubt. She is a liar and cheater. That's for sure. Best thing do a DNA test and if possible catch her in the act by hiring a P. I or someone you trust. She lied so that has broken the trust you should have Dr her.


If don't do these things, you will remain in doubt trust me
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Alaganature09(m): 10:14am On Nov 25, 2021
hashbag1:
Nlanders,
I have been married for 9 years now, amidst several incidences that gave me suspicions over my wife's infidelity. The one that happened of recent gave me nothing more than great suspicion over any other.

My daughter and son got infection, they were admitted into the hospital. On this faithful day, I was there with them and I left the hospital in the afternoon to get something for them to eat,
I got back with the food and quickly rushed down to my office to tidy some work. I felt hungry and decided to drive out, on my way to the restaurant leads to the hospital, I was in traffic when I put a call through to my wife whom I asked how she was coping and how the kids were doing, while on call with her, I heard sounds of car horns so I asked if she was out, she said yes that she was going to get water across the stree, so i was like you shouldnt have stressed yourself since
the house maid was with her, next thing she yelled at me saying why am I making ascertion as to who should go get the water or not, I was like but that isnt a big deal to ask, she was like well the house girl have been the one running errands all day, I responded saying instead of yelling at me, you would have just responded by saying the above.

As a responsible and concerned father, I decided to suspend dinner and branch at the hospital which took me 8 mins to get there because of traffic. On getting to the hospital, lo and behold, my wife was not there, just the kids and the house maid. I asked the house maid where madam was, she said she stepped out without saying where she was going. I immediately put a call through to her. "Babes where are you at, just got here now and you are not here". She immediately hung up on me, I called back, she didnt pick, called her again didn't pick, waited few mins and called, she picked and yelled "why are you looking for me" I was like but you claimed you went to
go get water but its been up to 15mins and you are not here yet, next thing she said was I'm in a uber car, Wow uber car when you just said you went across the street to get water, how does being in uber car relate to that. I requested a video call, I hung up the normal call and called her on whatsapp call, she didn't pick, I called her back again on normal call and said you aren't picking, she responded saying am in uber car now, call me on video again, I did but she still didnt pick. So I decided not to bother since declaring her whereabout seems frutile. She called back on normal call saying she was on her way home to pick some her items to quickly do an advertising shoot to model to her customers in the hospital room, that she didnt want me to get mad at her reason why she didn't tell me before she left, I was like its not a big deal telling me that after which I have found out she never did go out there to buy water.

Husbands and fathers in the house, in this kind of situation, what could have been your thought? As for me, something was not just right, and the most damning part of all these is leaving the kids at the mercy of just the house maid, I feel if there is something she is hiding from me and leaving the kids like that is what
the issue of trust has led us to, I am left in amazement and total disappointment.


Bro I know how painful it can be but trust me all married men on Nairaland advice you dem self Dey insecure too oooo.. if I were you I will confront her directly and tell her she cheat cos I see no reason why she should lie at first and then hanging up the call if she was innocent
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Mandrake20(m): 10:14am On Nov 25, 2021
Iyaebe:
If this is all you've got to accuse her of infidelity then go work on your mindset because you've got no proof and evidence.

Ain't it obvious she's cheating, there is nothing wrong with his mindset. All he needs is how to get an evidence
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by fieldbus: 10:15am On Nov 25, 2021
hashbag1:
Nlanders,
I have been married for 9 years now, amidst several incidences that gave me suspicions over my wife's infidelity. The one that happened of recent gave me nothing more than great suspicion over any other.

My daughter and son got infection, they were admitted into the hospital. On this faithful day, I was there with them and I left the hospital in the afternoon to get something for them to eat, I got back with the food and quickly rushed down to my office to tidy some work. I felt hungry and decided to drive out, on my way to the restaurant leads to the hospital, I was in traffic when I put a call through to my wife whom I asked how she was coping and how the kids were doing, while on call with her, I heard sounds of car horns so I asked if she was out, she said yes that she was going to get water across the stree, so i was like you shouldnt have stressed yourself since
the house maid was with her, next thing she yelled at me saying why am I making ascertion as to who should go get the water or not, I was like but that isnt a big deal to ask, she was like well the house girl have been the one running errands all day, I responded saying instead of yelling at me, you would have just responded by saying the above.

As a father and a husband my advice is please dont kill yourself over nothing.Understand and support your wife.if she is cheating you will soon know without all this antics.women are complex and they need a lot of understanding and not monitoring please and please try and free your mind as bp is rampant these days,when you guys are in a free mood without hospital whahala try and bring the topic up and let her know you appreciate she telling you the truth even if she knows you ill be angry.Donk kill your self over nothing i beg

cheers

As a responsible and concerned father, I decided to suspend dinner and branch at the hospital which took me 8 mins to get there because of traffic. On getting to the hospital, lo and behold, my wife was not there, just the kids and the house maid. I asked the house maid where madam was, she said she stepped out without saying where she was going. I immediately put a call through to her. "Babes where are you at, just got here now and you are not here". She immediately hung up on me, I called back, she didnt pick, called her again didn't pick, waited few mins and called, she picked and yelled "why are you looking for me" I was like but you claimed you went to
go get water but its been up to 15mins and you are not here yet, next thing she said was I'm in a uber car, Wow uber car when you just said you went across the street to get water, how does being in uber car relate to that. I requested a video call, I hung up the normal call and called her on whatsapp call, she didn't pick, I called her back again on normal call and said you aren't picking, she responded saying am in uber car now, call me on video again, I did but she still didnt pick. So I decided not to bother since declaring her whereabout seems frutile. She called back on normal call saying she was on her way home to pick some her items to quickly do an advertising shoot to model to her customers in the hospital room, that she didnt want me to get mad at her reason why she didn't tell me before she left, I was like its not a big deal telling me that after which I have found out she never did go out there to buy water.

Husbands and fathers in the house, in this kind of situation, what could have been your thought? As for me, something was not just right, and the most damning part of all these is leaving the kids at the mercy of just the house maid, I feel if there is something she is hiding from me and leaving the kids like that is what
the issue of trust has led us to, I am left in amazement and total disappointment.
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 10:15am On Nov 25, 2021
JaskanFactor:
personally i have never met anybody who likes to eat the same food everyday till the end of life.

All i would ask a woman is to do it with respect, and not close to home.

Life and relationships get so much easier when we accept that we human being are both angel and beast all in one, and variations there of.

Do you mean that you don't mind being in an open relationship?
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Edusouls(m): 10:15am On Nov 25, 2021
Ur marriage don get k leg be that, sorry my brother the world is all vanity upon vanity
hashbag1:
Nlanders,
I have been married for 9 years now, amidst several incidences that gave me suspicions over my wife's infidelity. The one that happened of recent gave me nothing more than great suspicion over any other.

My daughter and son got infection, they were admitted into the hospital. On this faithful day, I was there with them and I left the hospital in the afternoon to get something for them to eat, I got back with the food and quickly rushed down to my office to tidy some work. I felt hungry and decided to drive out, on my way to the restaurant leads to the hospital, I was in traffic when I put a call through to my wife whom I asked how she was coping and how the kids were doing, while on call with her, I heard sounds of car horns so I asked if she was out, she said yes that she was going to get water across the stree, so i was like you shouldnt have stressed yourself since
the house maid was with her, next thing she yelled at me saying why am I making ascertion as to who should go get the water or not, I was like but that isnt a big deal to ask, she was like well the house girl have been the one running errands all day, I responded saying instead of yelling at me, you would have just responded by saying the above.

As a responsible and concerned father, I decided to suspend dinner and branch at the hospital which took me 8 mins to get there because of traffic. On getting to the hospital, lo and behold, my wife was not there, just the kids and the house maid. I asked the house maid where madam was, she said she stepped out without saying where she was going. I immediately put a call through to her. "Babes where are you at, just got here now and you are not here". She immediately hung up on me, I called back, she didnt pick, called her again didn't pick, waited few mins and called, she picked and yelled "why are you looking for me" I was like but you claimed you went to
go get water but its been up to 15mins and you are not here yet, next thing she said was I'm in a uber car, Wow uber car when you just said you went across the street to get water, how does being in uber car relate to that. I requested a video call, I hung up the normal call and called her on whatsapp call, she didn't pick, I called her back again on normal call and said you aren't picking, she responded saying am in uber car now, call me on video again, I did but she still didnt pick. So I decided not to bother since declaring her whereabout seems frutile. She called back on normal call saying she was on her way home to pick some her items to quickly do an advertising shoot to model to her customers in the hospital room, that she didnt want me to get mad at her reason why she didn't tell me before she left, I was like its not a big deal telling me that after which I have found out she never did go out there to buy water.

Husbands and fathers in the house, in this kind of situation, what could have been your thought? As for me, something was not just right, and the most damning part of all these is leaving the kids at the mercy of just the house maid, I feel if there is something she is hiding from me and leaving the kids like that is what
the issue of trust has led us to, I am left in amazement and total disappointment.
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Nobody: 10:18am On Nov 25, 2021
Have you carried out a paternity test for your children?Do that ASAP!
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by aktolly54(m): 10:19am On Nov 25, 2021
hashbag1:
Nlanders,
I have been married for 9 years now, amidst several incidences that gave me suspicions over my wife's infidelity. The one that happened of recent gave me nothing more than great suspicion over any other.

My daughter and son got infection, they were admitted into the hospital. On this faithful day, I was there with them and I left the hospital in the afternoon to get something for them to eat, I got back with the food and quickly rushed down to my office to tidy some work. I felt hungry and decided to drive out, on my way to the restaurant leads to the hospital, I was in traffic when I put a call through to my wife whom I asked how she was coping and how the kids were doing, while on call with her, I heard sounds of car horns so I asked if she was out, she said yes that she was going to get water across the stree, so i was like you shouldnt have stressed yourself since
the house maid was with her, next thing she yelled at me saying why am I making ascertion as to who should go get the water or not, I was like but that isnt a big deal to ask, she was like well the house girl have been the one running errands all day, I responded saying instead of yelling at me, you would have just responded by saying the above.

As a responsible and concerned father, I decided to suspend dinner and branch at the hospital which took me 8 mins to get there because of traffic. On getting to the hospital, lo and behold, my wife was not there, just the kids and the house maid. I asked the house maid where madam was, she said she stepped out without saying where she was going. I immediately put a call through to her. "Babes where are you at, just got here now and you are not here". She immediately hung up on me, I called back, she didnt pick, called her again didn't pick, waited few mins and called, she picked and yelled "why are you looking for me" I was like but you claimed you went to
go get water but its been up to 15mins and you are not here yet, next thing she said was I'm in a uber car, Wow uber car when you just said you went across the street to get water, how does being in uber car relate to that. I requested a video call, I hung up the normal call and called her on whatsapp call, she didn't pick, I called her back again on normal call and said you aren't picking, she responded saying am in uber car now, call me on video again, I did but she still didnt pick. So I decided not to bother since declaring her whereabout seems frutile. She called back on normal call saying she was on her way home to pick some her items to quickly do an advertising shoot to model to her customers in the hospital room, that she didnt want me to get mad at her reason why she didn't tell me before she left, I was like its not a big deal telling me that after which I have found out she never did go out there to buy water.

Husbands and fathers in the house, in this kind of situation, what could have been your thought? As for me, something was not just right, and the most damning part of all these is leaving the kids at the mercy of just the house maid, I feel if there is something she is hiding from me and leaving the kids like that is what
the issue of trust has led us to, I am left in amazement and total disappointment.
go do DNA for the children first, forget the cost try do it
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 10:19am On Nov 25, 2021
Going by your story, I see no problem other than the fact that you're a very insecure person. Your wife may just be stressed, worn out and just needs a break.

I can emphatically tell you that she isn't cheating.
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Funkyswagzz(m): 10:20am On Nov 25, 2021
hashbag1:
Nlanders,
I have been married for 9 years now, amidst several incidences that gave me suspicions over my wife's infidelity. The one that happened of recent gave me nothing more than great suspicion over any other.

My daughter and son got infection, they were admitted into the hospital. On this faithful day, I was there with them and I left the hospital in the afternoon to get something for them to eat, I got back with the food and quickly rushed down to my office to tidy some work. I felt hungry and decided to drive out, on my way to the restaurant leads to the hospital, I was in traffic when I put a call through to my wife whom I asked how she was coping and how the kids were doing, while on call with her, I heard sounds of car horns so I asked if she was out, she said yes that she was going to get water across the stree, so i was like you shouldnt have stressed yourself since
the house maid was with her, next thing she yelled at me saying why am I making ascertion as to who should go get the water or not, I was like but that isnt a big deal to ask, she was like well the house girl have been the one running errands all day, I responded saying instead of yelling at me, you would have just responded by saying the above.

As a responsible and concerned father, I decided to suspend dinner and branch at the hospital which took me 8 mins to get there because of traffic. On getting to the hospital, lo and behold, my wife was not there, just the kids and the house maid. I asked the house maid where madam was, she said she stepped out without saying where she was going. I immediately put a call through to her. "Babes where are you at, just got here now and you are not here". She immediately hung up on me, I called back, she didnt pick, called her again didn't pick, waited few mins and called, she picked and yelled "why are you looking for me" I was like but you claimed you went to
go get water but its been up to 15mins and you are not here yet, next thing she said was I'm in a uber car, Wow uber car when you just said you went across the street to get water, how does being in uber car relate to that. I requested a video call, I hung up the normal call and called her on whatsapp call, she didn't pick, I called her back again on normal call and said you aren't picking, she responded saying am in uber car now, call me on video again, I did but she still didnt pick. So I decided not to bother since declaring her whereabout seems frutile. She called back on normal call saying she was on her way home to pick some her items to quickly do an advertising shoot to model to her customers in the hospital room, that she didnt want me to get mad at her reason why she didn't tell me before she left, I was like its not a big deal telling me that after which I have found out she never did go out there to buy water.

Husbands and fathers in the house, in this kind of situation, what could have been your thought? As for me, something was not just right, and the most damning part of all these is leaving the kids at the mercy of just the house maid, I feel if there is something she is hiding from me and leaving the kids like that is what
the issue of trust has led us to, I am left in amazement and total disappointment.

Bro ur wife is definitely cheating or trying to cheat on u.. I have had such situation before. U have to be patient with her and get a good evidence she can't deny and then confront her. I wish u best of luck
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by 8stargeneral: 10:23am On Nov 25, 2021
For me it was d wife that made d interrogation to be lingering....simple question goes with simple answer..babe where are u am here ...while ur not there...and u called ur self husband and wife..it's very wrong..am not saying that she's cheating..but that trust gaa to be there anytime.

1 Like

Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Kenturkey048(m): 10:23am On Nov 25, 2021
oldtruth:


What to say? You are not a real African man. Let me tell you straight up. Real men control. You are not in control. I wonder where you people see marriage equality. The West don't even practice it. The FACT is that; "you are USELESS to your woman".

Almighty God would bless you abundantly for this comment...
Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Nobody: 10:25am On Nov 25, 2021
This is the first step to be convinced that she is cheating on you.Ask for her phone to check her call logs,whatapps,Facebook,etc.Also open her true caller.If she delete numbers she use to call on her contact the numbers will still be in true-caller.
If she oblige,go through every details of her social media pages and ask her questions.A cheating woman will yell or cry as defence.A faithful woman will give you every details you want to know.

2 Likes

Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by Awoleesu(m): 10:25am On Nov 25, 2021
Dear OP,
I understand how you feel about this - that feeling and fear of been taken for a fool!

But like many have advised or rather suggested, the incident you narrated may not have been sufficient enough in proof of infidelity on the part of your spouse. The reason, for me, is that you may have impatiently destroyed that 'potential evidence' by your lack of tactics.

What I would have done differently to perforate any claims of alibi or excuse from her would have been to wait patiently on getting to the hospital, after the initial call where she hinted on going to get water across the street...
It would have been difficult for her to put up a (supposedly) second lie whenever she returned.

So, it is now what it is. I would want you to confront your fears. Dare ask your wife in plain language if she was cheating on you. Keep her response in record, and be patient...
If she really is cheating, she'll fall into your patient trap soon.

But, I must caution you! You must be ready for emotional outbursts that'd hurt your feelings. So, if you're the lily-livered type, who cannot contain his fears and dare the storm... Abeg, just let sleeping dogs lie o!

1 Like

Re: I Am Confused As A Father And As Husband by alizma: 10:28am On Nov 25, 2021
hashbag1:
Nlanders,
I have been married for 9 years now, amidst several incidences that gave me suspicions over my wife's infidelity. The one that happened of recent gave me nothing more than great suspicion over any other.

My daughter and son got infection, they were admitted into the hospital. On this faithful day, I was there with them and I left the hospital in the afternoon to get something for them to eat, I got back with the food and quickly rushed down to my office to tidy some work. I felt hungry and decided to drive out, on my way to the restaurant leads to the hospital, I was in traffic when I put a call through to my wife whom I asked how she was coping and how the kids were doing, while on call with her, I heard sounds of car horns so I asked if she was out, she said yes that she was going to get water across the stree, so i was like you shouldnt have stressed yourself since
the house maid was with her, next thing she yelled at me saying why am I making ascertion as to who should go get the water or not, I was like but that isnt a big deal to ask, she was like well the house girl have been the one running errands all day, I responded saying instead of yelling at me, you would have just responded by saying the above.

As a responsible and concerned father, I decided to suspend dinner and branch at the hospital which took me 8 mins to get there because of traffic. On getting to the hospital, lo and behold, my wife was not there, just the kids and the house maid. I asked the house maid where madam was, she said she stepped out without saying where she was going. I immediately put a call through to her. "Babes where are you at, just got here now and you are not here". She immediately hung up on me, I called back, she didnt pick, called her again didn't pick, waited few mins and called, she picked and yelled "why are you looking for me" I was like but you claimed you went to
go get water but its been up to 15mins and you are not here yet, next thing she said was I'm in a uber car, Wow uber car when you just said you went across the street to get water, how does being in uber car relate to that. I requested a video call, I hung up the normal call and called her on whatsapp call, she didn't pick, I called her back again on normal call and said you aren't picking, she responded saying am in uber car now, call me on video again, I did but she still didnt pick. So I decided not to bother since declaring her whereabout seems frutile. She called back on normal call saying she was on her way home to pick some her items to quickly do an advertising shoot to model to her customers in the hospital room, that she didnt want me to get mad at her reason why she didn't tell me before she left, I was like its not a big deal telling me that after which I have found out she never did go out there to buy water.

Husbands and fathers in the house, in this kind of situation, what could have been your thought? As for me, something was not just right, and the most damning part of all these is leaving the kids at the mercy of just the house maid, I feel if there is something she is hiding from me and leaving the kids like that is what
the issue of trust has led us to, I am left in amazement and total disappointment.
You gave her more rooms for more lies, relax, when you noticed somethings, act like you don't see anything while studying the situation. In marriage, patience is very key, reason being that you may think she is cheating while she is not and you may also be 100% correct, however it will be worst if you let her know that you are suspecting her while she is actually innocent. Also, a man need sufficient evidence to nail a cheating wife that is why you need to be patient.
If she is cheating and you let her know that you are suspecting her, she will tighten up her games but if you pretend not to know, she will think she has kept it perfectly out of your knowledge and believe me, she will soon fall into your trap.

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