I have a friend going through this now. She was dating a guy who promised to marry her. Along the line she got pregnant. The parent though surprised went ahead with marriage plans only to discover that the lady's mom had cancer and was dying of it. The man's family swore that the woman won't enter their family again as they are scared that the lady or her unborn kids may suffer from the disease. The guy said he is confused and doesn't want to disobey his parents

The lady feels rejected. My dear nairalanders pls advise,

its called IGNORANCE!!!!!

Buhahahaha (this is a joke right? )

Well, some cancers are hereditary, so I understand.

I wouldnt marry a dude with family history of hair baldness either.

Its not a joke. This is very real. My friend is crying everyday. Wondering where true love flew to. I wonder too

Ileke-idi from my research less than 10% of the particular type of cancer is hereditary,

Unfair without a doubt, but its a tough decision to make.

If the man is genuinely afraid of losing his wife to the same illness, his decision can be understood - better to refuse to take the risk than to abandon her if she gets the disease in future.

No one would knowingly expose his/her unborn children to any risks so I can appreciate the reluctance to proceed. However, if the cancer was more lifestyle related (e.g lung cancer from smoking)  and not hereditary (like breast cancer) then such a decision shouldn't be taken.

Some people would not proceed, while some would. That's why we all can make choices.

They already hv a child in the picture

queend:

Its not a joke. This is very real. My friend is crying everyday. Wondering where true love flew to. I wonder too

Ouch!

queend:

Its not a joke. This is very real. My friend is crying everyday. Wondering where true love flew to. I wonder too

who d hell is ur fuckin friend?

I feel bad for her especially as she is already pregnant. The boy is a dunce sha. When a man is ready for marriage it is not his mother and father that will pick the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Lesson from this story is that you either close your legs or use birth control until you are married

Majority of her friends have advised her to abort the baby.

queend:

Ileke-idi from my research less than 10% of the particular type of cancer is hereditary,

Well, is hers amongst the "less than 100 particular type of cancer"?

Outstrip:

I feel bad for her especially as she is already pregnant. The boy is a dunce sha. When a man is ready for marriage it is not his mother and father that will pick the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Lesson from this story is that you either close your legs or use birth control until you are married

Agree 100% - the child introduces more problems into the mix.

However, if the man's family do not want him to marry this lady, that is not something that should be swept under the carpet. For those calling him names, when you have an entire family against you, love soon appears to be a burden. Ask those whose in-laws are firmly against their marriages - it's not a walk in the park.

This is not some simply some minor issue, the family deem it as a life and death issue. I suspect they had their reservations before hand and now took advantage of this new issue to cut off ties.

Ileke-IdI:

Well, is hers amongst the "less than 100 particular type of cancer"?

You wouldn't know that in Nigeria - there isn't sufficient screening to identify people who are predisposed to certain types of cancer.

Sadly, the family is taking the 'better safe than sorry' approach. It's not fair on the girl (as it is no fault of hers) but they do have fears which can't be waved away.

queend:

Majority of her friends have advised her to abort the baby.

that is what I would also advice her to do.

This guy is heartless, My heart goes out to the girl, She herself may never have cancer, and i also believe every one has cancer it just takes something to trigger it off, I have seen people who never smoked or drank in their life end up with lung cancer, But lets hope the same faith will not fall on the so called bf or one of his family, Selfish git,

One reason why I don't support pregnancy before marriage.

So so sad!

I dont blame the guy or hi parents one bit.

When genuine health issues are involved

Dont make your future and that of your kids terrible

Let her abort the baby and move on

Quite unfortunate!

I dont support her aborting the pregnancy. Let her have her child and forget about the marriage. She will find someone who will love her for her in the future.

Let the girl walk away. If she marries him she will live a life of agony. Everytime she gets a cold or flu, the doltish guy and his ignorant family will be right there to say she is dying like her mother. This anxiety will eat her up worse than cancer, and can even cause her immune system to break down.

And if she actually gets a life threatening illness, her husband would abandon her in her moment of need.

OAM4J:

Quite unfortunate!

I dont support her aborting the pregnancy. Let her have her child and forget about the marriage. She will find someone who will love her for her in the future.

It hurts when u finaly realize that just "love" is not "enough".lol.If it's possible,she shld abort, get herself screened for cancer and move on else,she can move on with the pregnancy intact,i hope she is strong enough to be a single mother.

Move on as a single mother and get cursed by d whole world for wanting to trap a man

@Op
Tell your friend to contact ''OKO OLOYUN'' for treatment.

Ileke-IdI:

Well, some cancers are heredity, so I understand.

I wouldnt marry a dude with family history of hair baldness either.

thats so shallow
so if your man meets 86.45% of your requirement you wont marry him because of hair baldness?
wo whatever floats your boat girl
nothing do you!

jennykadry:

One reason why I don't support pregnancy before marriage.

but do you support sex before marriage?
because if you do then pregnancy before marriage MIGHT happen


@ OP
its a very dicey situation
should she abort the baby and maybe loose her life in the process(depending on how old the pregnancy is?)
should she risk being judged  and ostracized as a single mom for maybe the rest of her life  by keeping the baby?
If she has the heart to give her baby up for adoption ,maybe she should at least give the baby a chance to life.
her fiance is a big "malu"


women always learn when push comes to shove 90% of the time we are the ones that will always make GREAT sacrifices so ALWAYS use your heads and not your heart SHIKENA!

Ileke-IdI:

Well, some cancers are heredity, so I understand.

I wouldnt marry a dude with family history of hair baldness either.

And who wants to marry ugly Baboon for a wife?

I will tell her to consider the adoption part. That sounds more humane.

you see why its good to refrain from sex till after marriage?

Anyone who can write airline ticket

, but bro, u sounded like she was referring to you

Sad!

Why didn't the girl tell the young man about the health condition of her mum.
I am not siding the man's family based on the disease but for not disclosing such an info, I think the girl will be hiding some more stuffs from the guy in question.

I thot this only happened in nollyhood.