Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? - Romance - Nairaland
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| Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by Nobody: 4:30pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
Read this before commenting! Meaning of custody: legal right to keep and look after a child After a breakup, why do women insist being granted custody of the child(ren)? Most often, in an informal separation, without the intervention of a Judge, the woman is awarded custody of the child(ren), with the 'permission' of the man... Meaning, following a breakup, the woman keeps the children while the man leaves to start a family of his own, and might provide financial support for his children... Rarely do men fight for their right as fathers to keep the child, in cases of separation or marital divorce... Whether it's in the courtroom or after a discussion in the sitting room, with the wholehearted consent of man, the women gets the children... Most often. Any reason why? Don't men love their children as much? Or they are incapable of taking up the responsibilities of being both the mother and father to the children? |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by Kriss216: 4:31pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
Only a foolish man will allow a littered and bittered woman to raise his child/ren. A wretched and unemployed woman will be demanding for custody of children she cannot train, thereby asking for child support. FFK is a true example of how men should be handling women in event of separation. Keep your children if you can raise them. 5 Likes |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by MrBrownJay1(m): 4:33pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
its called LOGIC!!!!! a man who has a job and works all day, dont have the time to care for a young child's need while an unemployed woman (probably expert in telemundo) has all the time to care for a child. so it has nothing to do with love and all to do with whats makes the more sense for the wellbeing of the child. sadly, in today's world, if your woman is gainfully employed, then she aint in a better position to cater for a child, than a man is....so the man should defintely ask for custody! now let me just say: when a child starts going to kindergarden, your woman has no business staying home all day doing NOTHING and she can now go back to work....if she doesnt and you allow her to be lazy and stay home all day watching telemundo, the joke is on you! 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by Nobody: 4:41pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
MrBrownJay1:The first paragraph was a stereotype...  Most women work... Whether as a nurse ora trader, she's equally hustling and therefore busy... In the Nigerian society, how many men work full-time? Most don't even have jobs... They work menial jobs and their wives too... He might be a bricklayer, she could be a petty trader... As for those with better jobs, these women are teacher, doctors, bankers...etc... Yet after a divorce or separation, she gets the children... Even if the husband is retired or jobless... The reason is SHE'S A WOMAN, THEREFORE SHE'S BETTER SUITED TO RAISING THE CHILDREN NO MATTER WHAT, EVEN IF IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AND SHE'S THE ONLY SUPERHERO... I'm now asking you as a man... Does this judgement override (if this is the right word) your desire to keep your children? Do you feel your gender limits you as a parent? 1 Like |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by MrBrownJay1(m): 4:41pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
Kriss216: isnt it that same "foolish man" that gladly had unprotected sex with that littered/bittered woman?! you cant blame a donkey for being a donkey, after you gladly slept with the donkey (and probably should blame yourself too)!!! A wretched and unemployed woman will be demanding for custody of children she cannot train, thereby asking for child support again, if thats what a man believe of his woman then he CERTAINLY shouldnt have children with her, is it?! should we therefore blame women or men?!?! but most importantly: who better than the unemployed mother of the kids to raise them in their young age (since daddy will be busy at work)?!?!?! as for child support, thats different subject entirely.... 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by Nobody: 4:46pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
Kriss216:Typical of you to not read or reason before commenting... FFK is a deranged lunatic... So he's not a good example, except to young deranged lunatics... Secondly... I placed mush emphasis on this, 'men wholeheartedly agree to the women being awarded custody'... Women demanding for custody supports my argument, they actually desire to be with their children... Unlike most men who prefer to pay child support... Men usually don't care to put in any effort to fight for their children... But I already know you have a low IQ... 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by posty56: 4:48pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
Kriss216:calm down!!  1 Like |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by MrBrownJay1(m): 4:57pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
Datboredberry: (for the sake of discussion)...if women indeed do work just as hard as men, then they aint in a better position than men to care for children...and therefore the custody should go as often to men as it goes to women (it will all depend on who can bring the better situation for these kids). As for those with better jobs, these women are teacher, doctors, bankers...etc... Yet after a divorce or separation, she gets the children... Even if the husband is retired or jobless... you are not thinking straight when writing the above...it must be your female emotional state playing game on your head (as most women out there)... but hey, if you believe that a woman will ALWAYS be better suited to care for a child (than men), no wonder so many infants are thrown away after birth (like garbage) by these same evil mothers and/or the so many evil deluded mothers doing horrific acts towards their children. a "caring" parent will be better suited to care for a child... and until proven otherwise, nobody should pretend that all women are better caring parents than men...thats a DAMN LIE FROM THE PIT OF HELL. I'm now asking you as a man... Does this judgement override (if this is the right word) your desire to keep your children? Do you feel your gender limits you as a parent? the above judgment override any sense of intelligence from your part.... the wellbeing of children can ONLY depend on the situation at hand...if you actually believe that a woman with 3 jobs (working 16hrs a day) will be better suited to raise her young children, while daddy is home free and unemployed, then you lady MAKE ABSOLUTELY NO DAMN SENSE... but then again, i do know that many women out there believe that because they carry a child for 9months, they have some kind of aura around them that make them "superheroes"....while we all know that this is all your emotional state playing games on your being ONCE AGAIN! sadly, most of you women wouldnt be honest in this discussion because you believe you are "superheroes" for carrying a child for 9months, lol HIGHLY LAUGHABLE! 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by Nobody: 5:42pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
MrBrownJay1:you completely misunderstood me... My point is simple... In most relationships, especially those where the woman works as the man... She's awarded custody... Not by a judge, but with the permission and authority of the man... In cases of informal separation... I never said women are superheroes... I said, she's expected by society to be best suited even if the world is ending... Meaning, no matter how busy, society tends to view mothers as better suited to cater to the needs of children more than fathers... It's a gender based stereotype that influences cases such as this... You're actually being more emotional... I'm not targeting you... This question is for men and women... Not you as an individual... I'm not saying women are better, but they are perceived as being better even by their boyfriends/husbands... I'm not asking for your personal opinion on gender and such or what would be appropriate... You're probably not even a father... I'm asking why men in general tend to shy away from requesting for custody... I asked, is it the gender based stereotype? You mentioned being available more than the man (because she doesn't have a job) but the argument doesn't stand in all cases... Not even most. I'll ignore the insults... 1 Like |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by LINTUNE(m): 6:00pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
MrBrownJay1:you've said it all. |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by MrBrownJay1(m): 6:04pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
Datboredberry: so as a woman, you ask the question and give us the "men's" answer too?!?!?! dont you want to hear men's opinion on the subject any longer?! I never said women are superheroes... I said, she's expected by society to be best suited even if the world is ending... Meaning, no matter how busy, society tends to view mothers as better suited to cater to the needs of children more than fathers... It's a gender based stereotype that influences cases such as this... now answer this simple queston: do you believe a woman is ALWAYS better suited to care for a child?! You're actually being more emotional... I'm not targeting you... This question is for men and women... Not you as an individual... my answer wasnt targetting you either, it was a response to a failed state of mind, that many women have (you included)...where they believe that men dont care about children when they accept to give custody to mothers, instead of women understanding that (if indeed you are home all day) you might as well take care of the kids, since YOU are better suited, with free time, to cater for the kids... BUT, as i stated earlier (which you seem to have overlooked), if both parents are employed then they should decide who get custody (as it aint black and white). I'm not saying women are better, but they are perceived as being better even by their boyfriends/husbands... in what world , if i may ask?!?!? not in Africa...as most African men would GO for custody if they have a "son" and break off with mother. a single mother has very little value/respect in Africa thus African men would rather give that boy child to be raise by his parents than let that child be raised by a single mother. I'm not asking for your personal opinion on gender and such or what would be appropriate... You're probably not even a father... I'm asking why men in general tend to shy away from requesting for custody... I asked, is it the gender based stereotype? stop making failed assumptions about my person..... you asked men, and as a man therefore i gave my opinion on the subject, as stated earlier. You mentioned being available more than the man (because she doesn't have a job) but the argument doesn't stand in all cases... Not even most. you see, i gave you multiple scenarios, and you are choosing to focus on just one.... so again: - in a child's point of view: the parent with the better setting (aka time/space etc) should care for the child - in a parents point of view: the person with the more time to cater for the children, should be the one caring for the children ...saying that women are better suited to care for children is not only a lie, its an insult to all men who raised their kids by themselves while being gainfully employed. 1 Like |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by Nobody: 6:22pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
MrBrownJay1:Again, your answers are for, "What should be?"... Not, "Why it is?"... No: women aren't better parents... I don't even want kids... My boyfriend does... He would definitely be a great parent... I'm asking because 8 out of 10 cases, the woman gets custody... And most of these women are employed... and most of these cases, it wasn't a divorce but mutual separation... So the decision wasn't influenced by a judge or third-party... I'm not a parent... I'm not even an adult... I'm just trying to find out why in most cases where the parents split up, it's mutually agreed, without much talk that the woman gets the kids... I don't need you sermon on what is appropriate or what should be... I'm asking why gender comes in... Even amongst gay partners... The more feminine parent gets custody... 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by MrBrownJay1(m): 6:36pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
Datboredberry: i dont know where you get this 8 out of 10 custody figures.. as there is many variables to consider...(country; sex of child; parents employments etc) thus very difficult to determine accurately....but most African men with a son would rather keep the child than let his single mother raise it. but as to play the devil's advocate here: i believe a lot of men would relinquish custody (especially for female children) because they can have other children of their own with a younger babe, until they are 90yrs old (ask baba Ned), while most women have body cock to consider etc....so the reason could just be "out of pity" |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by dollytino4real(f): 6:41pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
soft mind toward kids |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by Nobody: 6:45pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
MrBrownJay1: Really? Even with sons, although they are prized here... primitive thinking... I know of many cases where the mother raises the child and years after when he's grown up... The father comes back into his life... You mean most single mothers in Africa are with their daughters only? Most have sons... Most have both... And there are few single fathers... And the majority of men raising their children, they are widowers... Not divorced men or men separated from their girlfriends/wives who demanded for custody of their sons... In Nigeria, a good number of men have children... They aren't married and they are not with their children, neither boy nor girl... But I agree... I think there's less interest in the children because they can have many more with other women... And there's so much pressure by society on mothers to be MOTHERS... If you understand... Meaning, it's easier for a man to relinquish his position as a father in his children's life, than a woman... So it's always an option... Plus, it's easier for them to pass out as being single... Which most do in Nigeria... |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by helinues: 6:54pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
The truth is children are better in good care with women than men. Though there are some awkward mum but no matter what, remembering the stress of the 9 months always make them to reconsider. The major factor affecting women to look after their children is mostly financial.. Kudos to all the mothers out there |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by MrBrownJay1(m): 7:39pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
Datboredberry: are you sure you aint talking about men who REFUSED to acknowledge a pregnancy and abandoned a child, to come back years later to claim the child (which is a different subject entirely)?! You mean most single mothers in Africa are with their daughters only? Most have sons... Most have both... again, just because a man WANTS something, doest mean he gets it....same with mothers. And there are few single fathers... And the majority of men raising their children, they are widowers... Not divorced men or men separated from their girlfriends/wives who demanded for custody of their sons... sorry my english isnt good enough to understand the above you wrote. In Nigeria, a good number of men have children... They aren't married and they are not with their children, neither boy nor girl......and your point is?!?! But I agree... I think there's less interest in the children because they can have many more with other women... And there's so much pressure by society on mothers to be MOTHERS... If you understand... there is indeed a lot of pressure but i think it aint with mothers, and more with A) being married (at any cost) and B) to have children to showcase to the whole world that you are fertile...in Africa, a marriage without children is considered a failed marriage. so i disagree, there isnt any more pressure on women than men. an African man can be rich all he wants, if he aint married, he aint shiit....and if he doesnt have an heir/children in that said marriage, then he will be looked at as an impotent fellow who has more money than healthy sperms (aka shooting blanks) what you should have said is...women are more DESPERATE than men to have children and/or to get married! Meaning, it's easier for a man to relinquish his position as a father in his children's life, than a woman... there is a huge difference between relinquish CUSTODY and reliquinsh FATHER STATUS....a father can never relinquish is father status, however he wants it, if you are a child's biological father then NOTHING CAN CHANGE THAT, even if you abandon them in the middle of Sahara desert.....no, what i meant is that... there is a desperation for women to have children by a certain date (due to their body clock) while men dont fall in that category so we aint desperate like that (when it comes to children)....so as much as a set of children would be a woman's do or die moment, we men aint tripping because we can have children and raise them til we are 90yrs old.... thus we would just feel pity for this woman (and her bodycock) and therefore would ALLOW her to have cusdtody of these kids. |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by MrBrownJay1(m): 7:45pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
helinues: pls educate us all on the issue... what has the stress of a 9months pregnancy got to do with the issue at hand?! are you claiming that because a woman carries a child for 9months, she is automatically a better parent than father of that said child?!?!?!?!?! The major factor affecting women to look after their children is mostly financial.. so a mother without money becomes a BAD MOTHER or what?!?! Kudos to all the FIXED |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by helinues: 7:49pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
MrBrownJay1: Naturally, men are not good enough in looking after children compared to women.. The mentality if most men is to provide, the looking after is secondary. |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by MrBrownJay1(m): 7:55pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
helinues: just because men have decided to focus on bringing the cheddar and paying for everything, does NOT mean we are bad at this particular subject... many men out there who are fulltime fathers, aint suffering, as i have always said that being an at home housewife is the EASIEST JOB IN THE WORLD....especially today where most kids are more interested in their Ipads/gadgets than anything else! The mentality if most men is to provide, the looking after is secondary. true, but that certainly doesnt mean we are bad at "looking after children", is it? also, in today's world, the gender role in families has greatly evolved, and a father can easily cater for the family while mummy is at work slaving 18hs per day! |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by helinues: 7:58pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
MrBrownJay1: I am not actually generalizing but majority of men are guilty of that. Me in particular, I love been around kids and have a good time with them like telling stories. Kids are actually comfortable around me. I do not have to wait till I become a grandpa before telling kids sweet and good stories plus advice. Looking after kids should be natural responsibility irrespective of gender |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by MrBrownJay1(m): 8:08pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
helinues: @bolded yes due to society, religion etc....but the reality is that there is absolutely NO PROOF that women are better parent than men.... if men were given the chance, we would love/raise/educate our kids just as good as women. |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by helinues: 8:12pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
MrBrownJay1: Please who restricted them from those chances? |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by Muna4real(f): 8:14pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
Datboredberry: Because most times the children are very young or even babies and need their mother. By the way, even if they are given to the father, he'll still look for a nanny to care for them which is a woman,so does it make sense? But if the children are teenagers, the custody will be shared 50/50. |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by Boogyman557: 8:16pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
Holly Gram  real matters on top real MATTERZWTF MAN |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by MrBrownJay1(m): 8:17pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
helinues: something called a JOB restricted them....because they spent all day at work thus werent there to love/raise/educate their children during the day.... while an unemployed woman certainly could! |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by helinues: 8:23pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
MrBrownJay1: And who exempted women from job? |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by Muna4real(f): 8:23pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
MrBrownJay1: Do you think God was a fool for giving women the responsibility of giving birth to children? Do you think he was a fool for giving women breasts to feed the children? He was not a fool. Women actually takes care of children than men. A typical child spends his youthful years with his mother,do you think that it's a coincidence? Let's evaluate this. Even when the children are given to men, the man would still look for a woman to take care of the child in the form of a nanny or a female family member. So what does that tell you? What's the use of giving a child to a father who will pass the child to another woman than giving the child straight to a his/her mother? |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by MrBrownJay1(m): 8:35pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
Muna4real: you are going into the wrong direction in this discussion, when you decide to now bring religion.... to make a point! there is no such thing as RESPONSIBILITY TO GIVE BIRTH as without men, women couldnt give birth nor can they get any responsiblity whatsoever. a child being born is the responsibility of 2 PARENTS, the mother is just the tool used to bring this new life to its full term without men there can be no new life, without women there can be no new life....stop trying to make it seem that women are the driving force here (while they clearly aint)! A typical child spends his youthful years with his mother,do you think that it's a coincidence? in biblical times, they probably did, but in todays world, they spend most of their time with their TEACHERS/CARERS at kindergarden/preschool/school etc...thus why i have said time and time again that...AS SOON AS A CHILD GOES TO KINDERGARDEN, WOMEN SHOULD GO BACK TO WORK AS THEY ARE NOT NEEDED ANY LONGER AT HOME! Let's evaluate this. Even when the children are given to men, the man would still look for a woman to take care of the child in the form of a nanny or a female family member. So what does that tell you? What's the use of giving a child to a father who will pass the child to another woman than giving the child straight to a his/her mother? if a man OR a woman has a full time job then of course they will need a nanny to take care of this young child...now here is the important question for you: are you saying that a fulltime working mother wont need help to raise such young child?!?!? or better yet:" since mother has a fulltime job and cant take care of her children, should she STILL automatically get the custody of the child (even though daddy may be free and unemployed)?!?! |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by MrBrownJay1(m): 8:41pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
helinues: nigerian society/culture, religion, failed mentiality etc... or simply men like you who continue to believe in this falsehood by writing the below: helinues: |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by helinues: 8:52pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
MrBrownJay1: That's where some people get things wrong. Is it society or community that is paying the bills? If you are referring to my statement, of course I still stand by it, even human beings naturally are created to be lazy. Goals, achievements, dreams are the pulling factors motivating us not to be lazy. Marriage could be charade but raisin kids is so damn real. The excuse of I Am a man, I am too busy cos of work or I am a woman, I am not making enough so therefore they can't look after their own kids is just wrong mentality |
| Re: Why Are Women Usually Awarded Custody Of The Child(ren)? by Hathor5(f): 10:50pm On Jan 13, 2022 |
MrBrownJay1: So I can make my life easy by having my kid press iPad all day long? Is this good parenting? |
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