Got too much to worry about. I envy you guys. Y'all got time.

Hathor5:
So I can make my life easy by having my kid press iPad all day long? Is this good parenting?

no it certanly aint, but we do know that today's kids all have one gadget or the other to take their focus away...hell, if you send them to a fancy school, most the studies are done on tablets and computer, and although it aint so good for the eyesight, it's better than having them carrying tons of books etc.

this is the 21st century lifestyl... how many kids do you see playing outside today, compare to before? also, with all the dangers of today out there, i'd rather my kids stay home in a safe environment than out there surrounded by pedos and mad people!

helinues:
That's where some people get things wrong. Is it society or community that is paying the bills?

If you are referring to my statement, of course I still stand by it, even human beings naturally are created to be lazy. Goals, achievements, dreams are the pulling factors motivating us not to be lazy.

Marriage could be charade but raisin kids is so damn real.

The excuse of I Am a man, I am too busy cos of work or I am a woman, I am not making enough so therefore they can't look after their own kids is just wrong mentality

you are absolutely right about the fact that raising kids aint easy....but you cant compare a person who is home all day caring/raising/educating kids, with the interaction a working father would have after work with his kids. there is so much you can do YES but it wont even be a 10th of the interaction mama had with the kids if/when staying home all day. its not comparable...thus why i say that the parent who stays home all day has a different r/ship towards the kids than the parent who goes out slaving all day. many people think that mama is more caring because she spends all day with the kids, while if a father stayed all day at home caring/raising/educating children, they he would be viewed as the most caring.

how can a father go play ball with his son if he is back home at nightime? how can you interact joyfully with your kids when they are about to go to bed and you are dead AF? the only proper moment a fulltime working parent can bond with his kids is during the weekend.

MrBrownJay1:


no it certanly aint, but we do know that today's kids all have one gadget or the other to take their focus away...hell, if you send them to a fancy school, most the studies are done on tablets and computer, and although it aint so good for the eyesight, it's better than having them carrying tons of books etc.

this is the 21st century lifestyl... how many kids do you see playing outside today, compare to before? also, with all the dangers of today out there, i'd rather my kids stay home in a safe environment than out there surrounded by pedos and mad people!



you are absolutely right about the fact that raising kids aint easy....but you cant compare a person who is home all day caring/raising/educating kids, with the interaction a working father would have after work with his kids. there is so much you can do YES but it wont even be a 10th of the interaction mama had with the kids if/when staying home all day. its not comparable...thus why i say that the parent who stays home all day has a different r/ship towards the kids than the parent who goes out slaving all day. many people think that mama is more caring because she spends all day with the kids, while if a father stayed all day at home caring/raising/educating children, they he would be viewed as the most caring.

how can a father go play ball with his son if he is back home at nightime? how can you interact joyfully with your kids when they are about to go to bed and you are dead AF? the only proper moment a fulltime working parent can bond with his kids is during the weekend.

Does it mean after marriage, then women shouldn't pursue their careers again?

There is different between a wife and a maid. The men also need to play some vital roles in raising the kids after all they both brought them to earth.

Excuse of being busy/pursuing money is not acceptable.. Afterall, how would they enjoy the money if not by spending good time with immediate family.

Work shouldn't be an excuse for not having more time with one's own children..

helinues:
Does it mean after marriage, then women shouldn't pursue their careers again?

by the time a child goes to kindergarden, NO WOMAN/MAN should stay home idle as they are not needed at home any longer!so HELL YEAH, a woman should be gainfully employed by the time kids are off to kindergarden, so that she can "contribute" to the wellbeing of the whole family.

There is different between a wife and a maid

" a maid" should NEVER EVER raise your kids, thats one of the worst example of a human being, to be given such an important task. no wonder so many kids get sexually abused etc when you use a clueless person to raise/educate your kids.

The men also need to play some vital roles in raising the kids after all they both brought them to earth.

a father would ALWAYS play a vital role in a child's life, even if that person is at work from 7am til 10pm (in order to provide the necessary foundation in a childs life). i am just being real here, as much as a fulltime working father can try to interact with his kids after work, it aint the same thing as what an unemployed parent would do all day, with that same child.

Excuse of being busy/pursuing money is not acceptable.. Afterall, how would they enjoy the money if not by spending good time with immediate family.

regardless of what we believe, the most important part is to FIRST provide food/shelter/education/clothing etc for that child while balancing time to instill the proper value in these children's mind. there are priorities in life, and spending time with a child is somewhat secondary (even though just as important)

Work shouldn't be an excuse for not having more time with one's own children

you are lucky you dont live in Japan, where majority of fathers only see their kids in the weekends because during weekdays, they leave the house (for work) when kids are still asleep and they come back home when kids are already gone to bed. YES, some parents have the luxury of interacting positively/daily with their kids after work, but many dont have that privilege.

MrBrownJay1:


no it certanly aint, but we do know that today's kids all have one gadget or the other to take their focus away...hell, if you send them to a fancy school, most the studies are done on tablets and computer, and although it aint so good for the eyesight, it's better than having them carrying tons of books etc.

this is the 21st century lifestyl... how many kids do you see playing outside today, compare to before? also, with all the dangers of today out there, i'd rather my kids stay home in a safe environment than out there surrounded by pedos and mad people!

I thought you said being a mother was easy because the kids are glued to their iPads all day long or did I get you wrong?

Hathor5:
I thought you said being a mother was easy because the kids are glued to their iPads all day long or did I get you wrong?

yes being an unemployed parent is easy because kids are at school/kindergarden all day long.... so you technically have nothing to do all day but becoming an expert in TELEMUNDO!

MrBrownJay1:


yes being an unemployed parent is easy because kids are at school/kindergarden all day long.... so you technically have nothing to do all day but becoming an expert in TELEMUNDO!

Not all kids go to kindergarten all day long and you can spend your time more productively than with telemundo.

Hathor5:
Not all kids go to kindergarten all day long and you can spend your time more productively than with telemundo.

true....and i am sure you understand what i am getting at....aka being a "homemaker" is not that difficult, especially in Nigeria where every Jide, Emeka and Ibrahim has a maid/Houseboy.

MrBrownJay1:


true....and i am sure you understand what i am getting at....aka being a "homemaker" is not that difficult, especially in Nigeria where every Jide, Emeka and Ibrahim has a maid/Houseboy.

It doesn't have to be difficult to be good and effective.

But do you really think that in this economy many can afford to survive on one income and on top employ maids and houseboys?

Hathor5:
It doesn't have to be difficult to be good and effective.

you are absolutely RIGHT, but it certainly aint "difficult" as many homemaker would like us to believe. i am just calling a spade A SPADE!
sadly, many women get offended when we have this honest discussion because they somehow convert this (in their brain) as:" you are useless" and/or "you dont do/bring as much as husband does"

But do you really think that in this economy many can afford to survive on one income and on top employ maids and houseboys?

maid/houseboy that cost less than a modern day slave?!?!? come on!
as for one income per family, it shouldnt be advised but sadly, many women out there are content to be home all day while hubby slaves away, because they are lazy like that. who are we kidding? who wouldnt want to stay home all day while their partner brings the cheddar home and takes cares of "everything"?

i blame society for this nonsense, because so man men would gladly accept that their women stays home idle all day, due to their misplaced egos and the failed notion that "thats what a man should do!"
***spit on floor***

MrBrownJay1:


you are absolutely RIGHT, but it certainly aint "difficult" as many homemaker would like us to believe. i am just calling a spade A SPADE!
sadly, many women get offended when we have this honest discussion because they somehow convert this (in their brain) as:" you are useless" and/or "you dont do/bring as much as husband does"

Well, I guess it depends on the age and number of kids. Personally, I find house chores less rewarding than my job but that's just me.

maid/houseboy that cost less than a modern day slave?!?!? come on!
as for one income per family, it shouldnt be advised but sadly, many women out there are content to be home all day while hubby slaves away, because they are lazy like that. who are we kidding? who wouldnt want to stay home all day while their partner brings the cheddar home and takes cares of "everything"?


i blame society for this nonsense, because so man men would gladly accept that their women stays home idle all day, due to their misplaced egos and the failed notion that "thats what a man should do!"
***spit on floor***

I wouldn't like to be home all day. And I also don't think that there are many families that (can) survive on one income. Most women contribute and many earn even more than their husbands.

Datboredberry:
Read this before commenting!

Meaning of custody: legal right to keep and look after a child

After a breakup, why do women insist being granted custody of the child(ren)?

Most often, in an informal separation, without the intervention of a Judge, the woman is awarded custody of the child(ren), with the 'permission' of the man...

Meaning, following a breakup, the woman keeps the children while the man leaves to start a family of his own, and might provide financial support for his children...

Rarely do men fight for their right as fathers to keep the child, in cases of separation or marital divorce...

Whether it's in the courtroom or after a discussion in the sitting room, with the wholehearted consent of man, the women gets the children... Most often.

Any reason why?

Don't men love their children as much?

Or they are incapable of taking up the responsibilities of being both the mother and father to the children?

If it's true that it's mostly women that want custody ,it doesn't mean there's a specific reason....in other words, different people have different issues.... towards different reasons why they want different things.





If it's true that it's mostly women that get custody, same as what's above.


Just remove 'want' and replace it with 'get'