All my life I have been a christian but most of the girls that have loved me are not the type of christians i will like to date and marry.I have missed alot of girls just because I'm not willing to compromise my values.The irony of the whole thing is that while I was in naija I always fall in love with the wrong christian girl( they are either engage or have a serious relationship) therefore I left without any serious relationship.Alas! now I'm in yankee and I hardly meet a girl who does not drink goes to wild party and sex is just a normal way of life. I'm under pressure to compromise and lower my standard , I'm scared It may be impossible to find a wife if I keep on with this belief. what should I do? do you think its wise for me to adopt the yankee way of life?

Then you are in the wrong place go to MFM brother

guy I'm not a member of MFM, there is none where I reside.

There 're still quite a number of girls with such values in the west.  My ex is such a lovely well brought up girl with an enthralling eloquence and sound moral values, big shame I'm an ársehole.

I honestly don't think you should lower your standards for whatever reasons, in the end, you'd have to live with the consequences of your decision. . . and for a very long time too.

violent:

There 're still quite a number of girls with such values in the west.  My ex is such a lovely well brought up girl with an enthralling eloquence and sound moral values, big shame I'm an ársehole.

I honestly don't think you should lower your standards for whatever reasons, in the end, you'd have to live with the consequences of your decision. . . and for a very long time too.

Totally agree with you.

@ wait4me, if you compromise your values you will regret it. There are girls who share your values even in Nigeria, though they seem to be in a minority. Just be patient and alert, she will come in time. Let us know when she does

@poster
if you cant find women with values then i can safely say that the problem is YOU . . . . . . . . . i wont say that you should compromise BUT, if you are looking for a "sexy, beautiful, tall, fun, intelligent, honest and rich" Christian girl, then i will safely say that you should sit down and probably lower your insanely high standards OR accept that it may be a LOOOOONG search.

did your ex fit the description of your dream lady? i mean, you've dated a woman like your dream lady before, right?

btw walk inside ANY church wherever you're at and i am sure you will find Christian women with values.

op
tell ur pastor,
he will find a wife 4 u.

Once in Law School I said to a male friend of mine that I was looking for and would like to date a man who could carry on a relationship without sex involved in it. He had a really good laugh and told me to give him a call the day I find such a man.

When we had that conversation he sounded like it was impossible to find such a man. It's been 4 years now and I figure he's still laughing at me because he hasn't received that call yet.

It's refreshing to know there are still men like you out there and you don't have to compromise because there are still women who think along the same lines as you. As a matter of fact I feel the same way you do and I am determined to chose a path that God can bless and honour, by making sure my next relationship is clean and free of pre-marital sex.

@poster
after checking some of your post to understand you, i have realized the problem is definitely YOU and your attitude. you were the guy who asked a girl out VIA EMAIL, oh lawd, no wonder you cant find the right one. but hey, lets look at some of your posts:

wait4me:

I have tried all I could to be very humble in my relationships but I cannot endure it for a long time.I have called off all my previous relationships because I can't just stand the women pride( making me feel as if I wanted them more than they do). I have realize that this trait is common to most women I've come across. Can I ever find a girl who will be very humble and express her feelings without pride? I have met some who do but after starting the relationship they relaxed. Well I need advice on our to tackle these issue as most women I have met seems to possess this trait.Any help or suggestion is welcome.

BINGO!!!! so you broke up with your exes because of their PRIDE?! because of YOUR inabilities to cope with how YOU felt?
again, this has nothing to do with being Christian or not, but all to do with how comfortable you are with yourself.

wait4me:

I am looking for my missing rib, she should be God fearing, tall ( 5ft9') , Dark, beautiful, Nigerian born but live in the USA. Additional qualities include, she must be a voracious reader, very gentle, have ambition, engage in an intelligent communication for a long time without getting bored etc.

anything else?! subscription to Time magazine, no? lol

Lol.
BrownJ take it easy on the poor lad. . .he might break down in tears.
Actually mistook him for a "she" on some thread.

MRbrownJAY:

@poster
after checking some of your post to understand you, i have realized the problem is definitely YOU and your attitude. you were the guy who asked a girl out VIA EMAIL, oh lawd, no wonder you cant find the right one. but hey, lets look at some of your posts:

BINGO!!!! so you broke up with your exes because of their PRIDE?! because of YOUR inabilities to cope with how YOU felt?
again, this has nothing to do with being Christian or not, but all to do with how comfortable you are with yourself.

anything else?! subscription to Time magazine, no? lol

I always marvel when people devote significant time and attention to go reading through other people's previous posts. How are you able to ever pull that off?

^^ the guy didnt give us the full gist about WHY he couldnt keep a gf so checking his last post (since he only had 24) was essencial to understand him. my inicial response was because i thought he couldnt find a god fearing virgin etcl!!!!

so next time,you too should click on his profile name then click on "last posts from this poster".

so next time,you too should click on his profile name then click on "last posts from this poster".

Wow! thanks for the useful insight, didn't know that was actually possible!

@poster: No offence, but maybe the only girl to fit into your "high standards" will be your better hand via self-servicing. That way you can never go wrong and you don't need to compromise your high standards either

,

They r testing ur faith, stand tall, u wud soon meet miss right

MRbrownJAY:

^^ the guy didnt give us the full gist about WHY he couldnt keep a gf so checking his last post (since he only had 24) was essencial to understand him. my inicial response was because i thought he couldnt find a god fearing virgin etcl!!!!

so next time,you too should click on his profile name then click on "last posts from this poster".

so you now look at people posts to tell who they are? what if they are posting something about someone and not themselves just to have an interesting conversation? this is interesting, so you can know people via their posts on NL? please answer that questions because I use to think you can come up with interesting topic even if it doesn't pertain to you.

^^^of course we can, so you should be careful about what you type or be very specific if what you write is about someone else.
either way, this is a public forum so your info is out there for all to see.

Heheheh Mr Brown jay take it eassy,

But funny enough I was going to say where are you looking that all the girls you see are drunk sex starved women?? Been in the US for a while and have found a good number of decent girls with high moral standards that are also beautiful physically,

wait4me:

All my life I have been a christian but most of the girls that have loved me are not the type of christians i will like to date and marry.I have missed alot of girls just because I'm not willing to compromise my values.The irony of the whole thing is that while I was in naija I always fall in love with the wrong christian girl( they are either engage or have a serious relationship) therefore I left without any serious relationship.Alas! now I'm in yankee and I hardly meet a girl who does not drink goes to wild party and sex is just a normal way of life. I'm under pressure to compromise and lower my standard , I'm scared It may be impossible to find a wife if I keep on with this belief. what should I do? do you think its wise for me to adopt the yankee way of life?

you can either backslide and adopt the yankee way of life or stick to your beliefs and get a woolie-hat wearing, under-dressed/no dress-sense, no make-up, chaste and boring sister in the nearest church to your abode. don't eat your cake and have it. do not expect to get the attractive, weave-wearing, acrylic nail fixing sister without expecting her to drink, rock wild parties and fu[i]c[/i]k like a horn dog.

Do you possess the "High Standard" that you want your future spouse to have. A relationship without a compromise is an utopian relationship.

Get real dude.

coogar:

you can either backslide and adopt the yankee way of life or stick to your beliefs and get a woolie-hat wearing, under-dressed/no dress-sense, no make-up, chaste and boring sister in the nearest church to your abode. don't eat your cake and have it. do not expect to get the attractive, weave-wearing, acrylic nail fixing sister without expecting her to drink, rock wild parties and fu[i]c[/i]k like a horn dog.

"You have to drink, rock wild parties and fúck like a horn dog", to be interesting?-------> Bullshyyyt!!!!   Such a myopic way of reasoning!

I know of girls that will check you anyday anytime, yes, their presence will intimidate you. . .and NO, they haven't adopted the rubbish "Yankee way of life"

I strongly recommend you spend some time away from the village!

coogar:

you can either backslide and adopt the yankee way of life or stick to your beliefs and get a woolie-hat wearing, under-dressed/no dress-sense, no make-up, chaste and boring sister in the nearest church to your abode. don't eat your cake and have it. d[b]o not expect to get the attractive, weave-wearing, acrylic nail fixing sister without expecting her to drink, rock wild parties and fu[i]c[/i]k like a horn dog.[/b]

Thats a very faulty statement,

violent:

"You have to drink, rock wild parties and fúck like a horn dog", to be interesting?-------> Bullshyyyt!!!!   Such a myopic way of reasoning!

I know of girls that will check you anyday anytime, yes, their presence will intimidate you. . .and NO, they haven't adopted the rubbish "Yankee way of life"

I strongly recommend you spend some time away from the village!

don't be a tool. . . .read what i typed very well before yapping your mouth.

Elpieda:

Thats a very faulty statement,

how is it faulty? read between the lines. . . . i did not say any chic that's attractive with a superb dress sense must be loose. . . . .but if you have any chic with that kind of lifestyle and if she ends up screwing like a dog. . . .no one would raise an eyebrow.

coogar:


how is it faulty? read between the lines. . . . i did not say any chic that's attractive with a superb dress sense must be loose. . . . .but if you have any chic with that kind of lifestyle and if she ends up screwing like a dog. . . .no one would raise an eyebrow.

Well the way you stated it comes across like you are saying every one of them are that way, 90% of my friends (of which I have tons of them but which may not be a good representation) are weave wearing, acrylic fixing, nice dressed, hot sexy God fearing women with high moral standards

But yeah I get your point, It might be rare to find such women but them dey plenty

wait4me:

All my life I have been a christian but most of the girls that have loved me are not the type of christians i will like to date and marry.I have missed alot of girls just because I'm not willing to compromise my values.The irony of the whole thing is that while I was in naija I always fall in love with the wrong christian girl( they are either engage or have a serious relationship) therefore I left without any serious relationship.Alas! now I'm in yankee and I hardly meet a girl who does not drink goes to wild party and sex is just a normal way of life. I'm under pressure to compromise and lower my standard , I'm scared It may be impossible to find a wife if I keep on with this belief. what should I do? do you think its wise for me to adopt the yankee way of life?

If you remove every manner of Godly principle b/c you want a wife or girl friend you will be the one to reap the detriment at the end of the game. Declare you stand from the onset ladies will respect you for that

don't be a tool. . . .read what i typed very well before yapping your mouth.

bla bla. . I ve seen that before.

You say something absolutely senseless and once someone points out such magnitude of tomfoolery , you come wearing a defensive jacket "Oh i was quoted wrongly"!

violent:

bla bla. . I ve seen that before.

You say something absolutely senseless and once someone points out such magnitude of tomfoolery , you come wearing a defensive jacket "Oh i was quoted wrongly!"

you must have been born obdurate. . . . .i can't even spoon-feed you cos you are too dense to grasp basic things. i simply told the op not to expect a highly attractive chic with high taste to be chaste. . . . .if you cannot grasp that theory, then feck off the webspace, find a broom and sweep a warehouse.

coogar:

you must have been born obdurate. . . . .i can't even spoon-feed you cos you are too dense to grasp basic things. i simply told the op not to expect a highly attractive chic with high taste to be chaste. . . . .if you cannot grasp that theory, then feck off the webspace, find a broom and sweep a warehouse.

I know right. . .you were quoted out of context! tht's what i tell people whenever I say something really stupyyd!

It's all good man, gt no beefs for you!

I'm having some Chardonnay tho, ts one of the finest grape wine ever, you should try some too!

OP:

No matter what you - dont lower your standards. I was in your boat for what seemed like the longest time, and I was seriously considering lowering my standards for real - until I found her. Everything i've ever wanted - and then some. The type you actually dream of. . . yes I did find her.

Right when I was at the brink of lowering my standards and settling.

Didnt think she existed - but its true, she does. Don't ever lower your standards for anyone, you'll spend the rest of your life regretting that decision.

Best of luck.

coogar:

you must have been born obdurate. . . . .i can't even spoon-feed you cos you are too dense to grasp basic things. i simply told the op not to expect a highly attractive chic with high taste to be chaste. . . . .if you cannot grasp that theory, then feck off the webspace, find a broom and sweep a warehouse.

coogar:

you can either backslide and adopt the yankee way of life or stick to your beliefs and get a woolie-hat wearing, under-dressed/no dress-sense, no make-up, chaste and boring sister in the nearest church to your abode. don't eat your cake and have it. do not expect to get the attractive, weave-wearing, acrylic nail fixing sister without expecting her to drink, rock wild parties and fu[i]c[/i]k like a horn dog.

Forgive my french but that is BULL shciess.
My girl is damn attractive - and does not drink, club, party etc - she actually hates those.
So yes - it is very possible, a highly attractive chic w high taste can be chaste. Rare, but worth it. Definitely worth it.

@poster, we could make a deal. I know the wrong kind of girls, they are very religious. Problem is I am atheist so they are of no good to me. Do u think u could link me up with the nice but non-religious girls and I give u the contacts of the religious ones that I have? They range from nice moderates to taliban-like believers and seeks permission from God from everything. I am sure you will like them.