Hi, it's me again.

So I've got this thing I want to get off my chest.

Note: I'm not looking for any justification here. And neither am I asking you to accept my views.

We always age shame single ladies in their 30s not only on this site but in reality. She is called an evening newspaper, old bread, bla bla bla. Is it wrong to be old though? Isn't being old considered a gift? Ok ok, that's beside the point anyway.

So the school form in Nigeria is 6+6+6+4 right? Once you finish secondary school, we know how hard it is most times to get admission, sometimes it takes up to 2 - to 3yrs, and when u eventually get it, ASUU will give you an extra 1 or 2years to graduate. In the case of a lady, she's stayed for how long so far? 3? 4years? Add that to her main 4 to 5years in uni.. OK, sometimes it can't be up to 3 or 4. But my point is by the time she's done with all these, she's aging. Which is a beautiful thing BTW. After uni then comes Nysc for 1 year. Still counting.. after the Nysc comes job hunting.. she might probably not get a job in 2-3years, sometimes she doesn't get it at all, then she settles to learn a skill or start a business.. by then she's about how old? 28? 29? This is a woman's journey before marriage.

I know you're probably thinking "why can't she get married and continue this"? How many women have you seen marry and continue pursuing personal growth? It takes only an understanding husband to make that happen, and they're rare in this part of the country.

I'm gonna put this out there. Go for who you want, it all boils down to choice. A man will prefer to marry a 24-25-year-old fresh graduate girl and tell her to be a sit-at-home mom. If that's your choice, that's cool. And a man will prefer a 28-35-40-year-old career woman, and that's OK too.

But what is wrong is when you shame someone for trying to develop herself and become a better version of herself.
Self-development takes time, and it's always worth it.

I'm not gonna decide or make choices for women, but if I were them, I'd really find myself first before anything else. It molds and helps you be in control of your life. Never let your age define you, there are so many great things you can achieve, if you don't give up.

Shortyy:
Hi, it's me again.

So I've got this thing I want to get off my chest.

Note: I'm not looking for any justification here. And neither am I asking you to accept my views.

We always age shame single ladies in their 30s not only on this site but in reality. She is called an evening newspaper, old bread, bla bla bla. Is it wrong to be old though? Isn't being old considered a gift? Ok ok, that's beside the point anyway.

So the school form in Nigeria is 6+6+6+4 right? Once you finish secondary school, we know how hard it is most times to get admission, sometimes it takes up to 2 - to 3yrs, and when u eventually get it, ASUU will give you an extra 1 or 2years to graduate. In the case of a lady, she's stayed for how long so far? 3? 4years? Add that to her main 4 to 5years in uni.. OK, sometimes it can't be up to 3 or 4. But my point is by the time she's done with all these, she's aging. Which is a beautiful thing BTW. After uni then comes Nysc for 1 year. Still counting.. after the Nysc comes job hunting.. she might probably not get a job in 2-3years, sometimes she doesn't get it at all, then she settles to learn a skill or start a business.. by then she's about how old? 28? 29? This is a woman's journey before marriage.

I know you're probably thinking "why can't she get married and continue this"? How many women have you seen marry and continue pursuing personal growth? It takes only an understanding husband to make that happen, and they're rare in this part of the country.

I'm gonna put this out there. Go for who you want, it all boils down to choice. A man will prefer to marry a 24-25-year-old fresh graduate girl and tell her to be a sit-at-home mom. If that's your choice, that's cool. And a man will prefer a 28-35-40-year-old career woman, and that's OK too.

But what is wrong is when you shame someone for trying to develop herself and become a better version of herself.
Self-development takes time, and it's always worth it.

I'm not gonna decide or make choices for women, but if I were them, I'd really find myself first before anything else. It molds and helps you be in control of your life. Never let your age define you, there are so many great things you can achieve, if you don't give up.

Makes sense... You made valid points

You have a great point though and personally I think it is not proper when people make such remarks about women.
The issue is that unlike men women has a very serious timing issue and it is guys with great heart who will really not care.
If a guy meets a lady today there is every tendency he will want to know the age of the woman and there is even more assurance that the lady will lie hence the saying "never ask a lady her age" this is a natural phenomenal our mindset cannot take away.
So regardless, as far as relationship is concern age is of utmost importance though many will disagree.
Your carrier path is what you desire, your natural biological phenomenal are factory fitted hence the saying "make hay while the sun shines"

dawnomike:
Makes sense... You made valid points

Thank you

Felimax:
You have a great point though and personally I think it is not proper when people make such remarks about women.
The issue is that unlike men women has a very serious timing issue and it is guys with great heart who will really not care.
If a guy meets a lady today there is every tendency he will want to know the age of the woman and there is even more assurance that the lady will lie hence the saying "never ask a lady her age" this is a natural phenomenal our mindset cannot take away.
So regardless, as far as relationship is concern age is of utmost importance though many will disagree.
Your carrier path is what you desire, your natural biological phenomenal are factory fitted hence the saying "make hay while the sun shines"

Like I said, go for who you want.

Shortyy:


Like I said, go for who you want.

Sorry I am married. Ringed her at 22.

Felimax:

Sorry I am married. Ringed her at 22.

Good for you

Look,
After working so hard as a man and accomplish the good things in life ,one is deserving of a good,beautiful ,Youthful woman to come home daily to relax with and share your spoils of war with.These set of women takes one's mind away from the realities and stresses of life.
But for a struggling man who is looking for a woman to build their dreams together,
This set can go for the older ladies who might have what it takes to do that.
We are just merely separating the classes of which group of men I suitable for a particular age group of women.
That's just about it.

Joker!

A man shouldn't be defined by his pockets too.

There are younger ladies who would prefer marrying much older guys.

Likewise, some guys are married to an older lady, and are living happily.

Age may be a factor for someone, and may not be counted as very important for another.


One man's food is another one's poison.

Eyahhhhh..

Well,na banny wey young and tight we go choose las las cha......

U are rice. However, many of them are the reason they stayed up to that age, even to 40 plus due to selectivity, pride(pride of beauty), love of money, etc.

funny OP!

Only if you knew the hatred and flack young married pregnant women get from evening newspapers in the working place.

You would sit down and ask yourself. How is it; this 27 year old girl, has a husband , expecting a child and has a job.

Yet this 30 something year old evening newspapers have neither ; if lucky "unwanted or unwarranted" pregnancy like Linda Ikeji.

Every girls between 16 - 25 has had numerous marriage offers; directly (I want to a marry you) or indirectly (my wife, my first wife, ).

So, no way in hell can any Nigerian girl with no husband at 33 can convince me that she has not had at least 5 men ask her hand in marriage (directly).

Elporo:
funny OP!

Only if you knew the hatred and flack young married pregnant women get from evening newspapers in the working place.

You would sit down and ask yourself. How is it; this 27 year old girl, has a husband , expecting a child and has a job.

Yet this 30 something year old evening newspapers have neither ; if lucky "unwanted or unwarranted" pregnancy like Linda Ikeji.

Every girls between 16 - 25 has had numerous marriage offers; directly (I want to a marry you) or indirectly (my wife, my first wife, ).

So, no way in hell can any Nigerian girl with no husband at 33 can convince me that she has not had at least 5 men ask her hand in marriage (directly).

U are rice.

Op points is valid.

Lemme use myself as an example.
I thought I had everything planned out.

I left secondary school at the age of 16,thats when I started making plans.

I plan to study a 4 years course by then I would be 20.
Go for 1 year compulsory NYSC, by then I would be 21.
Work for 2 to 3 years, I wanted to have my own money and not depend on anybody, then get married at the age of 25.

But that wasn't the case here. I was living in a fantasy.

My reality...
At age 16, I waited 3 years before getting admitted to school to study a 5 years course, add 2 years strike and 1 years compulsory NYSC plus 1 year trying to hustle or get a job. In between, my relationship ended due to genotype ish.

Now I'm close to 30 still single but got a job.
Before you say why didn't I try for another relationship, I did but most guyz I come across only wanted to be with a 'naive girl' who dey can brag about.. If you don't gerrit, forget about it. It trigger my resolve in self development and finding my ground the more.

Would you say I wasted my time with pride, being picky or what?

Some prefer older men or women
Others want their age group while some go with the flow.

I learnt a lot, life can throw shits at you. It depends on what you do with the shit.

Raalsalghul:
Joker!

A man shouldn't be defined by his pockets too.

Pockets in what sense? And you pipu should not be doing this whataboutism.

Anyway, you should know that it is I dat dashed your previously 6-liked profile pic another like. Let it just be on records.

Anyway anyway, do you have or know an oyinbo dude? Sorry o. No offiense. Just that you strike me like pelsin wey dey do hookup. So I say pe I shu ask and confamz.

African ladies are not different from African footballers when it comes to age reducing

Raalsalghul:
Joker!

A man shouldn't be defined by his pockets too.

Oga, answer me joor. And I wee buy Valanstime's gift for you o. If you find a fresh American guy for me, I'll compensate you with a gift, ehear? :-( I wanna run the package so bad.


@Professor Pansophist, welcome, sir. Uhh, you might have a fufu-sized words of wisdom for us on this topic, yes?

pansophist:
Agreed. Not justifying shaming, though shaming acts as a social barrier that prevents people from going astray. It's an evolutionary mechanism to safeguard individuals from wandering far from traditions that have stood the test of time. The fear of shaming can also be a motivation to live up to the ideal.

Lots of people have improved their life due to the fear and/or effects of shaming. Also, shaming is here to stay. More often than not, the thing you're shamed on is something that is valid. No one will shame a healthy person, but an obese one. Nor a successful individual, but a loser.

Okurrrrr. So you saying broke-shaming is possibly a good thing and it serves as a barrier or sum'n for men if I'm getting you right? Humph. Interesting (perspective).

Agreed. Not justifying shaming, though shaming acts as a social barrier that prevents people from going astray. It's an evolutionary mechanism to safeguard individuals from wandering far from traditions that have stood the test of time. The fear of shaming can also be a motivation to live up to the ideal.

Lots of people have improved their life due to the fear and/or effects of shaming. Also, shaming is here to stay. More often than not, the thing you're shamed on is something that is valid. No one will shame a healthy person, but an obese one. Nor a successful individual, but a loser. The fear of shaming is the beginning of wisdom. E be so.

don't generalize everything.

Shortyy:
Hi, it's me again.
I'm not gonna decide or make choices for women, but if I were them, I'd really find myself first before anything else. It molds and helps you be in control of your life. Never let your age define you, there are so many great things you can achieve, if you don't give up.

Your point is only Valid for the educated ones, what about the non educated, what did they do with those years?

A woman shouldn't be defined by age when she has enough money..

Magnoliaa:


Oga, answer me joor. And I wee buy Valanstime's gift for you o. If you find a fresh American guy for me, I'll compensate you with a gift, ehear? :-( I wanna run the package so bad.


@Professor Pansophist, welcome, sir. Uhh, you might have a fufu-sized words of wisdom for us on this topic, yes?



Okurrrrr. So you saying broke-shaming is possibly a good thing and it serves as a barrier or sum'n for men if I'm getting you right? Humph. Interesting (perspective).

I'm not saying its good or bad, but the dynamics at play. And if brokeshaming motivates a man to be successful, then it is tolerable in this context.

pansophist:
I'm not saying its good or bad, but the dynamics at play. And if brokeshaming motivates a man to be successful, then it is tolerable in this context.

I.C.

Ditto

The truth is that age matters! Not that it is impossible but it becomes more difficult.
A wise woman would not wait until it becomes difficult.
Life is not Disney!

What op is spewing out is getting alot of women into trouble.
Nigeria is even good, Abroad it is worse!

SeaTrade:
Look,
After working so hard as a man and accomplish the good things in life ,one is deserving of a good,beautiful ,Youthful woman to come home daily to relax with and share your spoils of war with.These set of women takes one's mind away from the realities and stresses of life.
But for a struggling man who is looking for a woman to build their dreams together,
This set can go for the older ladies who might have what it takes to do that.
We are just merely separating the classes of which group of men I suitable for a particular age group of women.
That's just about it.

Gbam