Exprofressor:
I will try to be brief as I can. Pls read on

I was born in a broken home from two different tribes in the country.
My late mom was a lecturer in one of the state polytechnics though she resigned her job when she couldn't cope with her mental illness. Me and my siblings were only in primary school then

My dad showed no concern for her health and came back to his hometown engaging himself in politics that have benefitted him nothing.

Me and my elder bro grew up with our dad while my two little sisters stayed with my mom, though we lost our last born the year 2005

I grew up with asthma and lacked mother's care. My dad and extended family even my grannies disliked me because they taught I was slow and couldn't cope with my mates

The truth is that my asthma was severe. I couldn't move an itch without my inhaler. The abuse got worse when in my early youth I couldn't do basic work to earn like my mates by working on building sites.

I was called lazy and the day I tried to prove I wasn't lazy, I nearly died of cement dust

My mom died last year April
She died poor and in pains due to liver disease.

I didn't remember giving my mom anything substantial before her demise, though i didn't have, but I feel I wasted my early youth by not making use of the best opportunity that presented itself after I left secondary which would have bettered me

Few years before her death she pleaded I move to stay with her. I couldn't because she lives in Northern Nigeria and there's no job in the area. I am in deep pains!

My mum mental health resulted to her adding hypo in her food and water claiming it's a cure for BP.(she also have BP)
I feel I am responsible for her death and hate myself for not reaching for my mom when she needs me. If I was around she wouldn't have drank hypo occasionally thereby destroying her liver


Now I feel I am becoming a demon. I hate helping people, infact when I see people in need I withhold any kind of help because God didn't give me chance to offer help to the woman I love most. I think because I couldn't do for my late mom no one is worth it.

My lack of empathy is growing by the day.
My girlfriend left, saying she couldn't cope, she says I have to start forgiving myself.
Do you believe I refused rendering help to my dad when he had accident? This was even before my mom died

I have taught about suicide but I can't just imagine how my bro will feel. Despite causing him pains too, he have always tolerated me and I know the damage my death will cause him. I wish I was never his brother


Pls I am tired of being angry and depressed
Is there a remedy for me? Sometime I think I behave abnormal, I really don't know if I am mentally insufficient too

First question is, are you still carrying your inhaler about with you? If YES, then I don't know what to tell you but if NO, you will need do this, join red cross group around you, or try make some friends or engage in some physical activities, it will help and correct your mind set about negative things.

ENGAGING IN PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES CAN SOLVE 92% OF PROBLEMS

Do not be decieved, your problem is deeper than you think. The enemy won't stop until your whole family has been wiped out. You need to build your spiritual life and deliver your family. Stop viewing your problem with a carnal mind and build your spiritual intelligence. I pray the Holy spirit reveals more to you.

Exprofressor:
I will try to be brief as I can. Pls read on

I was born in a broken home from two different tribes in the country.
My late mom was a lecturer in one of the state polytechnics though she resigned her job when she couldn't cope with her mental illness. Me and my siblings were only in primary school then

My dad showed no concern for her health and came back to his hometown engaging himself in politics that have benefitted him nothing.

Me and my elder bro grew up with our dad while my two little sisters stayed with my mom, though we lost our last born the year 2005

I grew up with asthma and lacked mother's care. My dad and extended family even my grannies disliked me because they taught I was slow and couldn't cope with my mates

The truth is that my asthma was severe. I couldn't move an itch without my inhaler. The abuse got worse when in my early youth I couldn't do basic work to earn like my mates by working on building sites.

I was called lazy and the day I tried to prove I wasn't lazy, I nearly died of cement dust

My mom died last year April
She died poor and in pains due to liver disease.

I didn't remember giving my mom anything substantial before her demise, though i didn't have, but I feel I wasted my early youth by not making use of the best opportunity that presented itself after I left secondary which would have bettered me

Few years before her death she pleaded I move to stay with her. I couldn't because she lives in Northern Nigeria and there's no job in the area. I am in deep pains!

My mum mental health resulted to her adding hypo in her food and water claiming it's a cure for BP.(she also have BP)
I feel I am responsible for her death and hate myself for not reaching for my mom when she needs me. If I was around she wouldn't have drank hypo occasionally thereby destroying her liver


Now I feel I am becoming a demon. I hate helping people, infact when I see people in need I withhold any kind of help because God didn't give me chance to offer help to the woman I love most. I think because I couldn't do for my late mom no one is worth it.

My lack of empathy is growing by the day.
My girlfriend left, saying she couldn't cope, she says I have to start forgiving myself.
Do you believe I refused rendering help to my dad when he had accident? This was even before my mom died

I have taught about suicide but I can't just imagine how my bro will feel. Despite causing him pains too, he have always tolerated me and I know the damage my death will cause him. I wish I was never his brother


Pls I am tired of being angry and depressed
Is there a remedy for me? Sometime I think I behave abnormal, I really don't know if I am mentally insufficient too

Forgive yourself first and get closer to God where you will find solence.

I'd like to inspire u, but my guy, truth be told, I'm not in your shoes, and I know words alone are not enough to inspire u out of your situation.

We only motivate people online because some of us are in good conditions.
Na only person wey de better condition de inspire person..

Words of inspirations always follow after goodwill..


My guy, with all that said, I can only offer prayers for u..

Life, e no balance at all.

If I had my way and had the money, trust me, I'd touch your life in a way.

All I can do is pray, life is so tough for those that don't know.
I like to act and not talk.

Sorry, your story was so depressing, I didn't read the whole thing up.
Nor VEX
Hope that'll solve something

Exprofressor:
I will try to be brief as I can. Pls read on

I was born in a broken home from two different tribes in the country.
My late mom was a lecturer in one of the state polytechnics though she resigned her job when she couldn't cope with her mental illness. Me and my siblings were only in primary school then

My dad showed no concern for her health and came back to his hometown engaging himself in politics that have benefitted him nothing.

Me and my elder bro grew up with our dad while my two little sisters stayed with my mom, though we lost our last born the year 2005

I grew up with asthma and lacked mother's care. My dad and extended family even my grannies disliked me because they taught I was slow and couldn't cope with my mates

The truth is that my asthma was severe. I couldn't move an itch without my inhaler. The abuse got worse when in my early youth I couldn't do basic work to earn like my mates by working on building sites.

I was called lazy and the day I tried to prove I wasn't lazy, I nearly died of cement dust

My mom died last year April
She died poor and in pains due to liver disease.

I didn't remember giving my mom anything substantial before her demise, though i didn't have, but I feel I wasted my early youth by not making use of the best opportunity that presented itself after I left secondary which would have bettered me

Few years before her death she pleaded I move to stay with her. I couldn't because she lives in Northern Nigeria and there's no job in the area. I am in deep pains!

My mum mental health resulted to her adding hypo in her food and water claiming it's a cure for BP.(she also have BP)
I feel I am responsible for her death and hate myself for not reaching for my mom when she needs me. If I was around she wouldn't have drank hypo occasionally thereby destroying her liver


Now I feel I am becoming a demon. I hate helping people, infact when I see people in need I withhold any kind of help because God didn't give me chance to offer help to the woman I love most. I think because I couldn't do for my late mom no one is worth it.

My lack of empathy is growing by the day.
My girlfriend left, saying she couldn't cope, she says I have to start forgiving myself.
Do you believe I refused rendering help to my dad when he had accident? This was even before my mom died

I have taught about suicide but I can't just imagine how my bro will feel. Despite causing him pains too, he have always tolerated me and I know the damage my death will cause him. I wish I was never his brother


Pls I am tired of being angry and depressed
Is there a remedy for me? Sometime I think I behave abnormal, I really don't know if I am mentally insufficient too

U are angry because of the life u have lived and the experience u have faced cos of ur parents choice and maybe fate bt that only worsen everything the more and it not a solution to ur problems neither will it help u heal.

Let go of the hate and anger and channel the positive memories no matter how small and energy into being a better person that ur parents tried to make u bt cudnt due to factors beyond their control.

U can always change ur story. U have the power to do that. Start by confessing it in ur words then take steps and actions

Boss your Never alone, as you can see comments just to cheer you up, don't feel alone or useless or what so ever, this life is also painful and full of distress for many people as well, just chillax bro!
If life throws lemons at you, you know what!!? Just make lemonades out of them.

Lots of your people are here

Most have only suggested someway to help you manage it but like @righteousness2 and few others JESUS is the only lasting solution.

Matthew 11:28 says
Come unto me all yrle that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.

With all sincerity of heart go to God in prayers
First accepting him as your Lord and saviour then asking Him for help.

Afterwards find a bible believing church to help keep and grow you in the help.

You shall testify. Amen

Two things I'll recommend for you.
1.) Prayers
2.) Have a friend who is well experienced on self development.
Preferably, contact a good counselor who has empathy.

On prayers, first, give your life to Christ. Find a Bible believing church where they'll not condemn you.
Learn to forgive yourself. Forget your past. You made mistakes, yes. You were awful, yes. You can't correct the past, true. The more you dabble in it the more you wade in continuous suffering. Pray out your guilt in the place of prayer. In your bedroom or wherever, cry out to God. Don't think that being born again will make you look like someone who doesn't know whatsup to your friends. God answers prayers. It's your life not your friend's. Anyone who wants to mock you for following God will regret in the long run. Don't worry about what people would say.

I know how it feels when you realize you've made stupid mistakes in life. I too have. I'm going thru some of them but I'm optimistic I'll come out victorious. Life is about fighting. You'll win. The battles of life are won in the mind. Read Joyce Meyers book, "Battle field of the Mind." It will help you greatly.

Be careful of the advice you see on Nairaland. Not everyone is experienced on things like this. I pray God helps you.

Exprofressor:
I will try to be brief as I can. Pls read on

I was born in a broken home from two different tribes in the country.
My late mom was a lecturer in one of the state polytechnics though she resigned her job when she couldn't cope with her mental illness. Me and my siblings were only in primary school then

My dad showed no concern for her health and came back to his hometown engaging himself in politics that have benefitted him nothing.

Me and my elder bro grew up with our dad while my two little sisters stayed with my mom, though we lost our last born the year 2005

I grew up with asthma and lacked mother's care. My dad and extended family even my grannies disliked me because they taught I was slow and couldn't cope with my mates

The truth is that my asthma was severe. I couldn't move an itch without my inhaler. The abuse got worse when in my early youth I couldn't do basic work to earn like my mates by working on building sites.

I was called lazy and the day I tried to prove I wasn't lazy, I nearly died of cement dust

My mom died last year April
She died poor and in pains due to liver disease.

I didn't remember giving my mom anything substantial before her demise, though i didn't have, but I feel I wasted my early youth by not making use of the best opportunity that presented itself after I left secondary which would have bettered me

Few years before her death she pleaded I move to stay with her. I couldn't because she lives in Northern Nigeria and there's no job in the area. I am in deep pains!

My mum mental health resulted to her adding hypo in her food and water claiming it's a cure for BP.(she also have BP)
I feel I am responsible for her death and hate myself for not reaching for my mom when she needs me. If I was around she wouldn't have drank hypo occasionally thereby destroying her liver


Now I feel I am becoming a demon. I hate helping people, infact when I see people in need I withhold any kind of help because God didn't give me chance to offer help to the woman I love most. I think because I couldn't do for my late mom no one is worth it.

My lack of empathy is growing by the day.
My girlfriend left, saying she couldn't cope, she says I have to start forgiving myself.
Do you believe I refused rendering help to my dad when he had accident? This was even before my mom died

I have taught about suicide but I can't just imagine how my bro will feel. Despite causing him pains too, he have always tolerated me and I know the damage my death will cause him. I wish I was never his brother


Pls I am tired of being angry and depressed
Is there a remedy for me? Sometime I think I behave abnormal, I really don't know if I am mentally insufficient too

HelIo, can relate so much to what you're passing through. What im doing to cope with mine is to try and make the most out of the little things that makes happy. Please don't shut your loved ones and those that care about you out, I made that same mistake more than once, and I regret it every single say.
I know you're probably tired of hearing it will get better, but that's wat I tell myself everyday and I believe it'll get better for both me and you. Please don't commit suicide, I've thought of it also but that will only make those that care about you cry and hate life, if not for anyone, for the sake of ur brother and late mum. Don't kill urself.

My own struggles made me loose faith in God, but if you still believe in him, I urge u pray and get closer to him.
I'm a complete stranger but seeing as your story relate so much to mine it really moved me to tears.
Please don't give up on yourself as from today I also believe in you

You don't have to cling to a mistake just because you have come too far to let go.

At times the solution to our problems is having the courage to let go of the past and start all over.

I believe your mom will be glad to see your a better person and not a young man overwhelm with regrets.

The devil is a liar, accept Jesus as your lord and personal saviour and all will be well again. Jesus is the answer to all the problem.

I couldn't finish your write up cos of the tears it about to generate in my eyes.

I could relate with you cos I have been in a close situation myself.

During those days of my trial, my elder bro will always say to me " there is light at the end of the tunnel".

I hate those words then and I still do now.

The summary is, life is not fair to some of us, but do we give up.... No we don't.

You owe your mum a better life, you owe her a successful life. Get up from wherever you are seated and strive to nothing but a successful fellow.

God be with you.

Exprofressor:
I will try to be brief as I can. Pls read on

I was born in a broken home from two different tribes in the country.
My late mom was a lecturer in one of the state polytechnics though she resigned her job when she couldn't cope with her mental illness. Me and my siblings were only in primary school then

My dad showed no concern for her health and came back to his hometown engaging himself in politics that have benefitted him nothing.

Me and my elder bro grew up with our dad while my two little sisters stayed with my mom, though we lost our last born the year 2005

I grew up with asthma and lacked mother's care. My dad and extended family even my grannies disliked me because they taught I was slow and couldn't cope with my mates

The truth is that my asthma was severe. I couldn't move an itch without my inhaler. The abuse got worse when in my early youth I couldn't do basic work to earn like my mates by working on building sites.

I was called lazy and the day I tried to prove I wasn't lazy, I nearly died of cement dust

My mom died last year April
She died poor and in pains due to liver disease.

I didn't remember giving my mom anything substantial before her demise, though i didn't have, but I feel I wasted my early youth by not making use of the best opportunity that presented itself after I left secondary which would have bettered me

Few years before her death she pleaded I move to stay with her. I couldn't because she lives in Northern Nigeria and there's no job in the area. I am in deep pains!

My mum mental health resulted to her adding hypo in her food and water claiming it's a cure for BP.(she also have BP)
I feel I am responsible for her death and hate myself for not reaching for my mom when she needs me. If I was around she wouldn't have drank hypo occasionally thereby destroying her liver


Now I feel I am becoming a demon. I hate helping people, infact when I see people in need I withhold any kind of help because God didn't give me chance to offer help to the woman I love most. I think because I couldn't do for my late mom no one is worth it.

My lack of empathy is growing by the day.
My girlfriend left, saying she couldn't cope, she says I have to start forgiving myself.
Do you believe I refused rendering help to my dad when he had accident? This was even before my mom died

I have taught about suicide but I can't just imagine how my bro will feel. Despite causing him pains too, he have always tolerated me and I know the damage my death will cause him. I wish I was never his brother


Pls I am tired of being angry and depressed
Is there a remedy for me? Sometime I think I behave abnormal, I really don't know if I am mentally insufficient too

Go to the nearest psychiatric hospital please. We take mental illness for granted too often in this country. Please book an appointment and attend.

Exprofressor:

Thank you. I didn't remember telling you I am in need of financial help neither did I asked you of any

is a format

KillMNKnow:
is a format

mynd44 lalasticlala seun

Rule 1 and 2

Exprofressor:
I will try to be brief as I can. Pls read on

I was born in a broken home from two different tribes in the country.
My late mom was a lecturer in one of the state polytechnics though she resigned her job when she couldn't cope with her mental illness. Me and my siblings were only in primary school then

My dad showed no concern for her health and came back to his hometown engaging himself in politics that have benefitted him nothing.

Me and my elder bro grew up with our dad while my two little sisters stayed with my mom, though we lost our last born the year 2005

I grew up with asthma and lacked mother's care. My dad and extended family even my grannies disliked me because they taught I was slow and couldn't cope with my mates

The truth is that my asthma was severe. I couldn't move an itch without my inhaler. The abuse got worse when in my early youth I couldn't do basic work to earn like my mates by working on building sites.

I was called lazy and the day I tried to prove I wasn't lazy, I nearly died of cement dust

My mom died last year April
She died poor and in pains due to liver disease.

I didn't remember giving my mom anything substantial before her demise, though i didn't have, but I feel I wasted my early youth by not making use of the best opportunity that presented itself after I left secondary which would have bettered me

Few years before her death she pleaded I move to stay with her. I couldn't because she lives in Northern Nigeria and there's no job in the area. I am in deep pains!

My mum mental health resulted to her adding hypo in her food and water claiming it's a cure for BP.(she also have BP)
I feel I am responsible for her death and hate myself for not reaching for my mom when she needs me. If I was around she wouldn't have drank hypo occasionally thereby destroying her liver


Now I feel I am becoming a demon. I hate helping people, infact when I see people in need I withhold any kind of help because God didn't give me chance to offer help to the woman I love most. I think because I couldn't do for my late mom no one is worth it.

My lack of empathy is growing by the day.
My girlfriend left, saying she couldn't cope, she says I have to start forgiving myself.
Do you believe I refused rendering help to my dad when he had accident? This was even before my mom died

I have taught about suicide but I can't just imagine how my bro will feel. Despite causing him pains too, he have always tolerated me and I know the damage my death will cause him. I wish I was never his brother


Pls I am tired of being angry and depressed
Is there a remedy for me? Sometime I think I behave abnormal, I really don't know if I am mentally insufficient too

Take it to the Lord in prayer, you'll be fine surely

From your writing, it seems, your father was self centered or maybe he was occupied with the easy way out.

Your extended family were self absorbed or self centered, most of us have become like that, even me, and i hope, i can change that trait.

You have being deprived of affection and no one believed you can be of good value, but you also had some faith in yourself, and tried to prove them wrong, but yet it made you less confident about yourself.

I think your girl friend really loves you, so she is right, is time to forgive yourself.

Despite everything, am i sure your Mother wherever she is, is still looking out for you, hoping the best for you.

Its time to Love yourself, to have confidence in yourself, and to accept failures are part of the process of building you up or your character.

Accept that you are always valuable, accept love, and give love. Let go of the burden in your past.

You are going through depression, any little thing could lead to the thought if suicide. You need to put off, the burdens and pressures that are on you and accept that you are really a good person, who still cares for his brother and sisters.

If you have any little hope for the future, what is stopping you today, what is your obstacle, is that obstacle greater than you, and if its greater maybe if you look at it in another way, it is not, and you are greater than those obstacles, and if you are greater than your circumstance, then it will become evident, in what you do and in your surroundings.

You are brave for sharing your story, thank you, and it shows me, the self absorbed attitude in myself and in our society in general.

Your courage and consideration for your family, can be used for your good.

So today, know you are courageous, kind, intelligent, very capable since that spirit is in you. But you will need to ease the pressures on yourself, and you also need to see the good that is in you.

We all have inner demons or bad traits, but its the good that we have built that can withstand our inner demons, you can do the same.




[/b]

Exprofressor:
I will try to be brief as I can. Pls read on

I was born in [b]a broken home from two different tribes in the country.
My late mom was a lecturer in one of the state polytechnics though she resigned her job when she couldn't cope with her mental illness. Me and my siblings were only in primary school then

My dad showed no concern [/b]for her health and came back to his hometown engaging himself in politics that have benefitted him nothing.

Me and my elder bro grew up with our dad while my two little sisters stayed with my mom, though we lost our last born the year 2005

[b]I grew up with asthma and lacked mother's care. My dad and extended family even my grannies disliked me because they taught I was slow and couldn't cope with my mates

The truth is that my asthma was severe. I couldn't move an itch without my inhaler. The abuse got worse when in my early youth I couldn't do basic work to earn like my mates by working on building sites.

I was called lazy and the day I tried to prove I wasn't lazy, I nearly died of cement dust

My mom died last year April
She died poor and in pains due to liver disease.

I didn't remember giving my mom anything substantial before her demise, though i didn't have, but[b] I feel I wasted my early youth by not making use of the best opportunity that presented itself after I left secondary which would have bettered me
[/b]
Few years before her death she pleaded I move to stay with her. I couldn't because she lives in Northern Nigeria and there's no job in the area. I am in deep pains!

My mum mental health resulted to her adding hypo in her food and water claiming it's a cure for BP.(she also have BP)
I feel I am responsible for her death and hate myself for not reaching for my mom when she needs me. If I was around she wouldn't have drank hypo occasionally thereby destroying her liver


Now I feel I am becoming a demon. I hate helping people, infact when I see people in need I withhold any kind of help because God didn't give me chance to offer help to the woman I love most. I think because I couldn't do for my late mom no one is worth it.

My lack of empathy is growing by the day.
My girlfriend left, saying she couldn't cope, she says I have to start forgiving myself.
Do you believe I refused rendering help to my dad when he had accident? This was even before my mom died

I have taught about suicide but I can't just imagine how my bro will feel. Despite causing him pains too, he have always tolerated me and I know the damage my death will cause him. I wish I was never his brother


Pls I am tired of being angry and depressed
Is there a remedy for me? Sometime I think I behave abnormal, I really don't know if I am mentally insufficient too

Man I was in your shoes the previous year . I didn't lose either parent but I don't live with them . I've never slept and woke up in my dad's house since I was a child. Explaining my family tree is like trying to catch the air. I was suicidal all through the year, I got rusticated in my fifth year in school, my family broke up too and my dear girl that promised heaven on earth left lol.. what I'm trying to say is we are all walking bags of trials, failures and success, whatever it is hurting you, you have to let go, you have to smile.. music heals, listen to your favorite tunes more . Don't do drugs or weed, those will get you thinking way too much . I'm still in the same situation as I was last year but I'm happier cause I found my faith and courage and I'll brave what's ahead of me as a living person, challenge my challenges, I suggest you do the same and don't hold grudges against anyone cause some people are created to teach us some lessons and those lessons are important to carry on in life, help only when you can and when you can't don't be in dispair God sees your heart... Life is never all rose and gold, there are always a few thorns and traps. What's happening to you now is a destined phase and you must not lose to it, I BELIEVE IN YOU, live and be well..... Also check out logic's track with Alessia Cara, thank me later ....

I feel for you, no human deserve to go through all this . But the truth is there is hope, you can conquer this challenge, is like a storm but it will pass if you apply some of advice given to you here to see a therapist. But here is an information that will help you more, pls visit the link to learn more.
https://www.jw.org/finder?docid=502013104&prefer=lang&wtlocale=E
https://www.jw.org/finder?pub=wp16&issue=201605&prefer=lang&wtlocale=E

oldienavie:
I know you have only written just a few from what you have passed through.
Let me tell you some things.
Nigeria is an evil place, majority of people in Nigeria are evil too, therefore the average person grow up in the midst of abuse, torture, pain etc.
95% of people in Nigeria are traumatised from the pain and evil they grew up with, the worse thing is that this has now be normalised and the result is a country lacking in empathy, desensitized to pain and evil in all its fabric.
You see police men, killing people without remorse, swapping inmates for the highest bidder and allowing the guilty walk free.

I have written all this so that you know you are not alone, some people on this group have been abused by their own parents sexually for years, how do you heal that kind of trauma, no justice nothing.

Every body expects you to man up and move on.

Now this is my little advise from someone who also had a traumatic childhood like you, but in my own case, people would argue that I should be grateful cos some people have it worse.

The fact you are alive is a priviledge, try to forgive yourself, move away from anything, family, friends that triggers the thought of the past .
This might sound somehow but try to look for a lady that loves you sincerely(this might be difficult but still possible considering the average lady out there is a gold digger) and pour your love into her.

Lastly, dream of having your own family and have a plan to raise your kids and family with the opportunity that you did not have.

The joy you get from a beautiful family will make you forget the past.

I wish you all the best.

Thank you very much for your empathetic response to the poster. God bless you

AchalugoNwa:
mynd44 lalasticlala seun

Rule 1 and 2

It's good you realize the problem but what you shouldn't do is to blame a God that has presented you with a choice and a clear-cut opportunity to help, better your life and that of your young ones. STOP HURTING YOURSELF. Whenever you deprive others of the help they deserve, you hurt yourself the more. Laugh, Love, and Let it all go. You are not the first person that has gone through this; neither will you be the last, but the difference yours will make is that you will pass through this ordeal and come out victorious and begin loving yourself. There's PEACE in CHRIST. Have you tried JESUS?. He can heal your broken heart. If you are ready, say this prayer after me:

JESUS, I COME WITH A BROKEN HEART; I HAVE COME TO SEEK YOU WITH ALL SINCERITY AND TRUTH. FORGIVE ME MY SINS, BRING ME BACK INTO YOUR BOSOM. I CHOOSE YOU TODAY ABOVE MYSELF; I DEDICATE MY LIFE TO YOU, TAKE CONTROL OVER MY LIFE AND USE THEM ACCORDING TO YOUR WILL. GIVE ME PEACE, GIVE ME YOUR GRACE AND SUFFER ME NOT TO BE SEPARATED FROM YOU AGAIN. THANK YOU FOR ACCEPTING ME. AMEN.

Peace be with you.

Bruh
I’m passing through this same thing.
I’m so depressed and filled with regrets, it’s really eating me up.
It’s not about being broke anymore, I’m getting emotionally worst day by day...... I wish to find peace to forgive myself and settle down for real.
Never had a serious relationship for years now .
So heartbroken

Exprofressor:
I will try to be brief as I can. Pls read on

I was born in a broken home from two different tribes in the country.
My late mom was a lecturer in one of the state polytechnics though she resigned her job when she couldn't cope with her mental illness. Me and my siblings were only in primary school then

My dad showed no concern for her health and came back to his hometown engaging himself in politics that have benefitted him nothing.

Me and my elder bro grew up with our dad while my two little sisters stayed with my mom, though we lost our last born the year 2005

I grew up with asthma and lacked mother's care. My dad and extended family even my grannies disliked me because they taught I was slow and couldn't cope with my mates

The truth is that my asthma was severe. I couldn't move an itch without my inhaler. The abuse got worse when in my early youth I couldn't do basic work to earn like my mates by working on building sites.

I was called lazy and the day I tried to prove I wasn't lazy, I nearly died of cement dust

My mom died last year April
She died poor and in pains due to liver disease.

I didn't remember giving my mom anything substantial before her demise, though i didn't have, but I feel I wasted my early youth by not making use of the best opportunity that presented itself after I left secondary which would have bettered me

Few years before her death she pleaded I move to stay with her. I couldn't because she lives in Northern Nigeria and there's no job in the area. I am in deep pains!

My mum mental health resulted to her adding hypo in her food and water claiming it's a cure for BP.(she also have BP)
I feel I am responsible for her death and hate myself for not reaching for my mom when she needs me. If I was around she wouldn't have drank hypo occasionally thereby destroying her liver


Now I feel I am becoming a demon. I hate helping people, infact when I see people in need I withhold any kind of help because God didn't give me chance to offer help to the woman I love most. I think because I couldn't do for my late mom no one is worth it.

My lack of empathy is growing by the day.
My girlfriend left, saying she couldn't cope, she says I have to start forgiving myself.
Do you believe I refused rendering help to my dad when he had accident? This was even before my mom died

I have taught about suicide but I can't just imagine how my bro will feel. Despite causing him pains too, he have always tolerated me and I know the damage my death will cause him. I wish I was never his brother


Pls I am tired of being angry and depressed
Is there a remedy for me? Sometime I think I behave abnormal, I really don't know if I am mentally insufficient too

You know if you want to talk to anyone..I'd be free to talk with you..
Talking about your pains and all..makes it better..I think.

Speak with a therapist and pour out your heart and hurt. It'll help relieve you.

Then you start by forgiving yourself and the past but hope for a brighter, clearer future with new beginning.

Speak with your father as well, so you don't regret when he's gone(I wish I had this opportunity, but I'm hopeful with my mom).

Visit your mom's graveside, talk as much as you can about your regrets ànd love you still have for her.

NB: You will never achieve great things with regrets so do the needful and progress.

Last but not least.....PRAY!

Thank God you didn't die in silence, many are accused by the accuser "the devil" and were convicted. Allow Jesus to help, only him can give you another life.(2 Corinthians 5:17) "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." Instead of being convicted he will wash you,repackage you and aswell restore your lost glory. (Joel 2:25) "And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you". And he will teach you to live in love because he himself is love.

Exprofressor:

I grew up with asthma and lacked mother's care. My dad and extended family even my grannies disliked me because they taught I was slow and couldn't cope with my mates

The truth is that my asthma was severe. I couldn't move an itch without my inhaler. The abuse got worse when in my early youth I couldn't do basic work to earn like my mates by working on building sites.

I was called lazy and the day I tried to prove I wasn't lazy, I nearly died of cement dust

I have taught about suicide but I can't just imagine how my bro will feel. Despite causing him pains too, he have always tolerated me and I know the damage my death will cause him. I wish I was never his brother

I don't know the advice to give to you, but just take the GOOD advices that others have given and use it well

Exprofressor:
I will try to be brief as I can. Pls read on

I was born in a broken home from two different tribes in the country.
My late mom was a lecturer in one of the state polytechnics though she resigned her job when she couldn't cope with her mental illness. Me and my siblings were only in primary school then

My dad showed no concern for her health and came back to his hometown engaging himself in politics that have benefitted him nothing.

Me and my elder bro grew up with our dad while my two little sisters stayed with my mom, though we lost our last born the year 2005

I grew up with asthma and lacked mother's care. My dad and extended family even my grannies disliked me because they taught I was slow and couldn't cope with my mates

The truth is that my asthma was severe. I couldn't move an itch without my inhaler. The abuse got worse when in my early youth I couldn't do basic work to earn like my mates by working on building sites.

I was called lazy and the day I tried to prove I wasn't lazy, I nearly died of cement dust

My mom died last year April
She died poor and in pains due to liver disease.

I didn't remember giving my mom anything substantial before her demise, though i didn't have, but I feel I wasted my early youth by not making use of the best opportunity that presented itself after I left secondary which would have bettered me

Few years before her death she pleaded I move to stay with her. I couldn't because she lives in Northern Nigeria and there's no job in the area. I am in deep pains!

My mum mental health resulted to her adding hypo in her food and water claiming it's a cure for BP.(she also have BP)
I feel I am responsible for her death and hate myself for not reaching for my mom when she needs me. If I was around she wouldn't have drank hypo occasionally thereby destroying her liver


Now I feel I am becoming a demon. I hate helping people, infact when I see people in need I withhold any kind of help because God didn't give me chance to offer help to the woman I love most. I think because I couldn't do for my late mom no one is worth it.

My lack of empathy is growing by the day.
My girlfriend left, saying she couldn't cope, she says I have to start forgiving myself.
Do you believe I refused rendering help to my dad when he had accident? This was even before my mom died

I have taught about suicide but I can't just imagine how my bro will feel. Despite causing him pains too, he have always tolerated me and I know the damage my death will cause him. I wish I was never his brother


Pls I am tired of being angry and depressed
Is there a remedy for me? Sometime I think I behave abnormal, I really don't know if I am mentally insufficient too

How old are you?

Exprofressor:
I will try to be brief as I can. Pls read on

I was born in a broken home from two different tribes in the country.
My late mom was a lecturer in one of the state polytechnics though she resigned her job when she couldn't cope with her mental illness. Me and my siblings were only in primary school then

My dad showed no concern for her health and came back to his hometown engaging himself in politics that have benefitted him nothing.

Me and my elder bro grew up with our dad while my two little sisters stayed with my mom, though we lost our last born the year 2005

I grew up with asthma and lacked mother's care. My dad and extended family even my grannies disliked me because they taught I was slow and couldn't cope with my mates

The truth is that my asthma was severe. I couldn't move an itch without my inhaler. The abuse got worse when in my early youth I couldn't do basic work to earn like my mates by working on building sites.

I was called lazy and the day I tried to prove I wasn't lazy, I nearly died of cement dust

My mom died last year April
She died poor and in pains due to liver disease.

I didn't remember giving my mom anything substantial before her demise, though i didn't have, but I feel I wasted my early youth by not making use of the best opportunity that presented itself after I left secondary which would have bettered me

Few years before her death she pleaded I move to stay with her. I couldn't because she lives in Northern Nigeria and there's no job in the area. I am in deep pains!

My mum mental health resulted to her adding hypo in her food and water claiming it's a cure for BP.(she also have BP)
I feel I am responsible for her death and hate myself for not reaching for my mom when she needs me. If I was around she wouldn't have drank hypo occasionally thereby destroying her liver


Now I feel I am becoming a demon. I hate helping people, infact when I see people in need I withhold any kind of help because God didn't give me chance to offer help to the woman I love most. I think because I couldn't do for my late mom no one is worth it.

My lack of empathy is growing by the day.
My girlfriend left, saying she couldn't cope, she says I have to start forgiving myself.
Do you believe I refused rendering help to my dad when he had accident? This was even before my mom died

I have taught about suicide but I can't just imagine how my bro will feel. Despite causing him pains too, he have always tolerated me and I know the damage my death will cause him. I wish I was never his brother


Pls I am tired of being angry and depressed
Is there a remedy for me? Sometime I think I behave abnormal, I really don't know if I am mentally insufficient too

Dude.. I feel your pain..
But first you must draw closer to God, learn to forgive yourself, afterwards, think of all those who have wronged you In the past, then pray extensively for God to give you the heart to forgive these people so you won't have to ever hold a grudge against them..
Always study the Bible to receive guidance and pray regularly for more healing.. Sorry for your loss bro..
Wish you the best.

Exprofressor:

Thank you. I will do as you say
I really appreciate

Do you pray? If no, start doing it. Talk to God like you're having a conversation with you father, but this is a different father, one who loves you irrespective of who you're and what you've done. Talk to him every day, with sincerity. Tell him to help you. Tell him to help you with the hate, tell him to help you forgive yourself, tell him to help you become a better person.

If you do this diligently, you'll see that God created a wonderful world and you can thrive anywhere.

Also, you have to find out what gives you happiness and be conscious about doing it.

Forget about everyone around you and focus on God. You may not know it, but life is the sweetest when you're close to God.

Exprofressor:
I will try to be brief as I can. Pls read on

I was born in a broken home from two different tribes in the country.
My late mom was a lecturer in one of the state polytechnics though she resigned her job when she couldn't cope with her mental illness. Me and my siblings were only in primary school then

My dad showed no concern for her health and came back to his hometown engaging himself in politics that have benefitted him nothing.

Me and my elder bro grew up with our dad while my two little sisters stayed with my mom, though we lost our last born the year 2005

I grew up with asthma and lacked mother's care. My dad and extended family even my grannies disliked me because they taught I was slow and couldn't cope with my mates

The truth is that my asthma was severe. I couldn't move an itch without my inhaler. The abuse got worse when in my early youth I couldn't do basic work to earn like my mates by working on building sites.

I was called lazy and the day I tried to prove I wasn't lazy, I nearly died of cement dust

My mom died last year April
She died poor and in pains due to liver disease.

I didn't remember giving my mom anything substantial before her demise, though i didn't have, but I feel I wasted my early youth by not making use of the best opportunity that presented itself after I left secondary which would have bettered me

Few years before her death she pleaded I move to stay with her. I couldn't because she lives in Northern Nigeria and there's no job in the area. I am in deep pains!

My mum mental health resulted to her adding hypo in her food and water claiming it's a cure for BP.(she also have BP)
I feel I am responsible for her death and hate myself for not reaching for my mom when she needs me. If I was around she wouldn't have drank hypo occasionally thereby destroying her liver


Now I feel I am becoming a demon. I hate helping people, infact when I see people in need I withhold any kind of help because God didn't give me chance to offer help to the woman I love most. I think because I couldn't do for my late mom no one is worth it.

My lack of empathy is growing by the day.
My girlfriend left, saying she couldn't cope, she says I have to start forgiving myself.
Do you believe I refused rendering help to my dad when he had accident? This was even before my mom died

I have taught about suicide but I can't just imagine how my bro will feel. Despite causing him pains too, he have always tolerated me and I know the damage my death will cause him. I wish I was never his brother


Pls I am tired of being angry and depressed
Is there a remedy for me? Sometime I think I behave abnormal, I really don't know if I am mentally insufficient too

Are u slow... literally