Cherish every breath you take because that may be your best and last. You don't need to bother yourself on what you don't have control on. God doesn't owe any man explanation. You are responsible for your own happiness. What ever situation that does not give you joy should be buried and forgotten. You may be so surprised and shocked that the only thing that is ever capable of getting you to hell I'll be doing what does not give your soul joy and happiness

Exprofressor:
I will try to be brief as I can. Pls read on

I was born in a broken home from two different tribes in the country.
My late mom was a lecturer in one of the state polytechnics though she resigned her job when she couldn't cope with her mental illness. Me and my siblings were only in primary school then

My dad showed no concern for her health and came back to his hometown engaging himself in politics that have benefitted him nothing.

Me and my elder bro grew up with our dad while my two little sisters stayed with my mom, though we lost our last born the year 2005

I grew up with asthma and lacked mother's care. My dad and extended family even my grannies disliked me because they taught I was slow and couldn't cope with my mates

The truth is that my asthma was severe. I couldn't move an itch without my inhaler. The abuse got worse when in my early youth I couldn't do basic work to earn like my mates by working on building sites.

I was called lazy and the day I tried to prove I wasn't lazy, I nearly died of cement dust

My mom died last year April
She died poor and in pains due to liver disease.

I didn't remember giving my mom anything substantial before her demise, though i didn't have, but I feel I wasted my early youth by not making use of the best opportunity that presented itself after I left secondary which would have bettered me

Few years before her death she pleaded I move to stay with her. I couldn't because she lives in Northern Nigeria and there's no job in the area. I am in deep pains!

My mum mental health resulted to her adding hypo in her food and water claiming it's a cure for BP.(she also have BP)
I feel I am responsible for her death and hate myself for not reaching for my mom when she needs me. If I was around she wouldn't have drank hypo occasionally thereby destroying her liver


Now I feel I am becoming a demon. I hate helping people, infact when I see people in need I withhold any kind of help because God didn't give me chance to offer help to the woman I love most. I think because I couldn't do for my late mom no one is worth it.

My lack of empathy is growing by the day.
My girlfriend left, saying she couldn't cope, she says I have to start forgiving myself.
Do you believe I refused rendering help to my dad when he had accident? This was even before my mom died

I have taught about suicide but I can't just imagine how my bro will feel. Despite causing him pains too, he have always tolerated me and I know the damage my death will cause him. I wish I was never his brother


Pls I am tired of being angry and depressed
Is there a remedy for me? Sometime I think I behave abnormal, I really don't know if I am mentally insufficient too

I don't think you have a problem mister.
Not everybody is a helper, doesn't make them a demon.
Channel your energy into conquering your sadism.
You blame yourself too much.
Have you thought about living your life for you and those who care about you?

you're not the only one. i grow up in a broken home and I've a chorionic asthma like yours or worst. I lost my parent at the same day. ok

1- issue of extended family= forget about them , its nomal. they always want their son to succeeded and u to fail
2- the dead of your mum is in evitable, is not your fault at all. she wants you to go ahead with your life
3. you're not lazy
4 this is how life is, especially in this country. just hang on. one day u will get your family and everything will be ok

Exprofressor:
I will try to be brief as I can. Pls read on

I was born in a broken home from two different tribes in the country.
My late mom was a lecturer in one of the state polytechnics though she resigned her job when she couldn't cope with her mental illness. Me and my siblings were only in primary school then

My dad showed no concern for her health and came back to his hometown engaging himself in politics that have benefitted him nothing.

Me and my elder bro grew up with our dad while my two little sisters stayed with my mom, though we lost our last born the year 2005

I grew up with asthma and lacked mother's care. My dad and extended family even my grannies disliked me because they taught I was slow and couldn't cope with my mates

The truth is that my asthma was severe. I couldn't move an itch without my inhaler. The abuse got worse when in my early youth I couldn't do basic work to earn like my mates by working on building sites.

I was called lazy and the day I tried to prove I wasn't lazy, I nearly died of cement dust

My mom died last year April
She died poor and in pains due to liver disease.

I didn't remember giving my mom anything substantial before her demise, though i didn't have, but I feel I wasted my early youth by not making use of the best opportunity that presented itself after I left secondary which would have bettered me

Few years before her death she pleaded I move to stay with her. I couldn't because she lives in Northern Nigeria and there's no job in the area. I am in deep pains!

My mum mental health resulted to her adding hypo in her food and water claiming it's a cure for BP.(she also have BP)
I feel I am responsible for her death and hate myself for not reaching for my mom when she needs me. If I was around she wouldn't have drank hypo occasionally thereby destroying her liver


Now I feel I am becoming a demon. I hate helping people, infact when I see people in need I withhold any kind of help because God didn't give me chance to offer help to the woman I love most. I think because I couldn't do for my late mom no one is worth it.

My lack of empathy is growing by the day.
My girlfriend left, saying she couldn't cope, she says I have to start forgiving myself.
Do you believe I refused rendering help to my dad when he had accident? This was even before my mom died

I have taught about suicide but I can't just imagine how my bro will feel. Despite causing him pains too, he have always tolerated me and I know the damage my death will cause him. I wish I was never his brother


Pls I am tired of being angry and depressed
Is there a remedy for me? Sometime I think I behave abnormal, I really don't know if I am mentally insufficient too

Your girlfriend was right, start forgiving yourself

Make peace with what happened with your mom. Think about what she will want you to do now - to live happily

Your mom would've also forgiven you, don't forget that

Also remember that you would've helped your mom if you had the resources to. You just weren't fortunate at the time

The fact that you care so much and feel guilty shows that you have a good heart

Extend that love and care to yourself and to others while you still can

Cry if you have to. Journal your feelings if you have to

Take it one step at a time. Just remember that your mom would've understood why you couldn't be there for her and most of all she would've forgiven you and hoped that you build a fulfilling life for yourself

Exprofressor:
I will try to be brief as I can. Pls read on

I was born in a broken home from two different tribes in the country.
My late mom was a lecturer in one of the state polytechnics though she resigned her job when she couldn't cope with her mental illness. Me and my siblings were only in primary school then

My dad showed no concern for her health and came back to his hometown engaging himself in politics that have benefitted him nothing.

Me and my elder bro grew up with our dad while my two little sisters stayed with my mom, though we lost our last born the year 2005

I grew up with asthma and lacked mother's care. My dad and extended family even my grannies disliked me because they taught I was slow and couldn't cope with my mates

The truth is that my asthma was severe. I couldn't move an itch without my inhaler. The abuse got worse when in my early youth I couldn't do basic work to earn like my mates by working on building sites.

I was called lazy and the day I tried to prove I wasn't lazy, I nearly died of cement dust

My mom died last year April
She died poor and in pains due to liver disease.

I didn't remember giving my mom anything substantial before her demise, though i didn't have, but I feel I wasted my early youth by not making use of the best opportunity that presented itself after I left secondary which would have bettered me

Few years before her death she pleaded I move to stay with her. I couldn't because she lives in Northern Nigeria and there's no job in the area. I am in deep pains!

My mum mental health resulted to her adding hypo in her food and water claiming it's a cure for BP.(she also have BP)
I feel I am responsible for her death and hate myself for not reaching for my mom when she needs me. If I was around she wouldn't have drank hypo occasionally thereby destroying her liver


Now I feel I am becoming a demon. I hate helping people, infact when I see people in need I withhold any kind of help because God didn't give me chance to offer help to the woman I love most. I think because I couldn't do for my late mom no one is worth it.

My lack of empathy is growing by the day.
My girlfriend left, saying she couldn't cope, she says I have to start forgiving myself.
Do you believe I refused rendering help to my dad when he had accident? This was even before my mom died

I have taught about suicide but I can't just imagine how my bro will feel. Despite causing him pains too, he have always tolerated me and I know the damage my death will cause him. I wish I was never his brother


Pls I am tired of being angry and depressed
Is there a remedy for me? Sometime I think I behave abnormal, I really don't know if I am mentally insufficient too

If all hope are lost, instead of committing suicide,why not donate yourself to God and enter into ministration...You will never regret it,God just ministered to me to tell you this.

Note;I barely go to church and i am not yet a born again.

go to Twitter and search the following people:
Uncle Sola (Push Relationship Group)
Gbenga Samuel Wemimo
Bamidele Eyitayo
Earthworker (TEAMi)
Oduonyi Bibama
Brother Stephen

follow them
engage their tweets
join their fellowships

you will see a light

Exprofressor:
I will try to be brief as I can. Pls read on

I was born in a broken home from two different tribes in the country.
My late mom was a lecturer in one of the state polytechnics though she resigned her job when she couldn't cope with her mental illness. Me and my siblings were only in primary school then

My dad showed no concern for her health and came back to his hometown engaging himself in politics that have benefitted him nothing.

Me and my elder bro grew up with our dad while my two little sisters stayed with my mom, though we lost our last born the year 2005

I grew up with asthma and lacked mother's care. My dad and extended family even my grannies disliked me because they taught I was slow and couldn't cope with my mates

The truth is that my asthma was severe. I couldn't move an itch without my inhaler. The abuse got worse when in my early youth I couldn't do basic work to earn like my mates by working on building sites.

I was called lazy and the day I tried to prove I wasn't lazy, I nearly died of cement dust

My mom died last year April
She died poor and in pains due to liver disease.

I didn't remember giving my mom anything substantial before her demise, though i didn't have, but I feel I wasted my early youth by not making use of the best opportunity that presented itself after I left secondary which would have bettered me

Few years before her death she pleaded I move to stay with her. I couldn't because she lives in Northern Nigeria and there's no job in the area. I am in deep pains!

My mum mental health resulted to her adding hypo in her food and water claiming it's a cure for BP.(she also have BP)
I feel I am responsible for her death and hate myself for not reaching for my mom when she needs me. If I was around she wouldn't have drank hypo occasionally thereby destroying her liver


Now I feel I am becoming a demon. I hate helping people, infact when I see people in need I withhold any kind of help because God didn't give me chance to offer help to the woman I love most. I think because I couldn't do for my late mom no one is worth it.

My lack of empathy is growing by the day.
My girlfriend left, saying she couldn't cope, she says I have to start forgiving myself.
Do you believe I refused rendering help to my dad when he had accident? This was even before my mom died

I have taught about suicide but I can't just imagine how my bro will feel. Despite causing him pains too, he have always tolerated me and I know the damage my death will cause him. I wish I was never his brother


Pls I am tired of being angry and depressed
Is there a remedy for me? Sometime I think I behave abnormal, I really don't know if I am mentally insufficient too

Valobit:
go to Twitter and search the following people:
Uncle Sola (Push Relationship Group)
Gbenga Samuel Wemimo
Bamidele Eyitayo
Earthworker (TEAMi)
Oduonyi Bibama
Brother Stephen

follow them
engage their tweets
join their fellowships

you will see a light

Thank you so much

bigbossila:
you're not the only one. i grow up in a broken home and I've a chorionic asthma like yours or worst. I lost my parent at the same day. ok

1- issue of extended family= forget about them , its nomal. they always want their son to succeeded and u to fail
2- the dead of your mum is in evitable, is not your fault at all. she wants you to go ahead with your life
3. you're not lazy
4 this is how life is, especially in this country. just hang on. one day u will get your family and everything will be ok

... you have said it all