Oyiboman69:
its obvious you choose to ignore where I used the word positive....

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

aribisala0:


Empty bluff. Your words are clear and your spin is pathetic
Why would somebody who has not been diagnosed with ADHD be having a DNA test to determine which medication would work? Is that the first thing?

At any rate that is an unproven procedure , not licensed anywhere.
Even if genetics play a role in autism that is not proven and not the only likely cause. Infection or medication in pregnancy or early infancy may play a role. No one knows.

How widespread is this procedure you are touting as the first course of action?
Simple truth is that there is no indication for DNA testing in this case .
If you read something somewhere that is out of your depth do not present yourself as an expert

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

klassyguy:


Yes thank you very much again for your mature opinion. The boy does look forward to his practice. I'm also considering enrolling him and his sister for swim classes as well. He plays with his trains at home and he likes building blocks as well. He has a ton of HotWheels cars and he's always asking me to buy him more. He is very good with his hands, that I know. I just want him to put that enthusiasm in his school work as well and stop being a nuisance in his class.

klassyguy:


Taking him for a test is not my problem. Their mother is against it. I cannot do that without her support. And the thought of moving to Nigeria was just a thought. We both have been chewing on that for a while now. Raising kids in this environment, particularly in today's US, is not as easy as you think. When I grew up in Nigeria, I had teachers who would flog the daylights out of you for misbehaving in class, and once you get home, you will get additional cane. I know how many times my dad broke cables on my back for misbehaving in school, and that is after I got punished by my teachers. Those beatings straightened me out and made me who I am today. Here, teachers cannot lay their hands on kids as they can be arrested for abusing the child. I've seen it play out several times and it is not pretty. Even the good ol' "ass whopping" families give their kids when they misbehave is frowned on as one nosy neighbor can call child services and report that you're abusing your kids.

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

klassyguy:


I came here for advice on how to tackle a problem, not for a lecture on whether I am doing a good job of raising my kids. I've raised my kids the best way I feel. Not everyone is perfect. Sometimes you need inputs of other parents. Most of the time, when I flog him, he behaves. His teacher has told me on several occasions he behaves after I "talk" to him, but it is not all the time one should spank a kid when he misbehaves. Training kids is not only achieved at home. They also have to learn and be corrected in school where their parents are not present, where teachers come in.

As for the test, if you read my initial post, I mentioned I AM OPEN TO TAKING HIM FOR AN ADHD TEST. It's my wife that's against it. I can't do that without her input and support. How would you feel if your spouse went behind your back to do something with your kids without your support and knowledge?

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

prophetfire:
. Very pathetic. That's the one reason why I have refused to join my older brother who advised me to come over to Canada. I can't watch my kids grow in a society where kids are raised without African discipline. African discipline helped me a lot in becoming responsible in life. I can't deny my kids such a good thing, especially as we are in a decaying world.

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

Bring him to motherland for 6 months,if he doesn't change i will refund your flight ticket.

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

Kobojunkie:
I can relate.

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

Annwrites:
You live with ADHD too?

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

angelo5uk:

And how well has the so called African discipline helped Africa so far. Girls are becoming prostitutes and boys are becoming Yahoo boys at a faster rate. And these horrible things are starting to be considered a norm these days in Nigeria. With all our so called decipline, we are still the poverty capital of the world.
You people should stop dehumanizing the western way raising kids. No culture is perfect. I try to look for the best of both cultures and raise my kids accordingly and I consider them to be very lucky. They're so many good and bad sides in the African way of raising kids and so it is also in the western world.

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

ravensckar:
Reading your story from start to finish reminded me of my erstwhile Director's children. The similarities are striking! First and foremost, I think you've analyzed the problem correctly, however, you're finding it hard to swallow the bitter pill of accepting your own truth. I'll help you out;

1- Having a short attention span doesn't necessarily translate to ADHD, however, adding mischief to it is a sure pointer because it provides an escape from the things he doesn't want to focus on. I've seen this play out many times. But first, you have to be sure by carrying out a test. In the meantime, you can get a home tutor or engage his class teacher to help manage his hyper-active spirit by channeling his energy towards his academics. Whether you like it or not, it's his personality to be active. Changing it may tamper with his childhood development.


2- His disciplinary issue shouldn't be treated with a kids glove. He is still at the formative stage of his behavioural patterns, hence, it can still be nipped in the bud. How? Use the simple technique of treating poison with another poison. Instill discipline in him by any means possible (serious flogging, punishment and a little touch of madness). My daughter was once like that, she wouldn't do anything you instruct her. Even when the mother beats her, she still wouldn't bulge. I overcame that challenge with the technique above, now, she's as obedient as a good child should be. Me I no dey condone nonsense at all!


3- Introduce a system of reward system in your household. Do not buy him any expensive thing unless he merits it (by achieving something extraordinary). Gradually, it becomes registered in his brain that every good deed will be rewarded and every bad deed will be punished. It's called Reward & Punishment system in education. My daughter at her young age gets reward from me for completing her homework. I ask her class teacher & lesson teacher for weekly reports of her performance in class, I ask the mum for report on her assigned chores (cleaning the chair, rinsing the plates, arranging the shoes in the rack amongst others). Even in her school's extra curricular, I make sure I reward her for doing well in it. Aside material rewards, I ensure I praise her good deeds by telling her 'Well done' 'Good girl' 'Daddy's girl'. I have noticed overtime that these words & rewards motivates her to always be on her best behaviour.


4- You have to take charge of the situation yourself. Being a parent is a full time job, hence, let your children know that you're following their every move. You're getting reports on their behaviours at home, at school and in everything they do. If they know that you do a routine check on them, it will help curb some of their excesses. The believe that 'Daddy will find out' makes children think twice before undertaking some behaviours. Never a day have I slept without checking my child's homework or going through her communication book to see what the Teacher has written. Me wey body dey pepper on top the school fee wey I dey pay.


5- You and your wife also have to be on the same page; most times if their mother excuses their bad behaviour, the children will exploit that loophole to get away with several things. They may even form the habit of playing you both against each other. That was where my erstwhile Director's problem started with her kids. Their father always encourage their bad behaviour, while the mother beats the living daylight out of them. As a result, the children exploited that to the fullest until they were no longer afraid of them both. Parenting is a team work. Your children have to see it that both of their parents are always on the same page in terms of raising them.


6- Discipline; mild flogging, strenuous corporal punishment, denying them of something they love doing, giving them attitude when they do something wrong, pardoning them when they least expect (and even having a heart to heart chat with them), stoopping to their level by doing what they enjoy doing with them (watching their favourite cartoons with them, riding their bicycles with them or even sitting idly with them),etc. If you know how to alternate these things, it will create a bond between you and your children. They will love, respect and still fear you. Why? Because they cannot completely understand you. You've become an enigma to them. My wife still wonders why my daughter loves me so much despite how I beat her. It's a technique and one has to know how to apply it.

Do these and come back for testimony. May the Almighty God see you through.

PS- You do not need to bring them to Nigeria in order to discipline them most Nigerian children self are nothing to write home about. It's about the methods you adopt in raising them. Afterall, I was born and raised in Ajegunle too. But you see my father, he is a super dad in terms of parenting.

Ezedon:
Have you done DNA test?

ravensckar:
Reading your story from start to finish reminded me of my erstwhile Director's children. The similarities are striking! First and foremost, I think you've analyzed the problem correctly, however, you're finding it hard to swallow the bitter pill of accepting your own truth. I'll help you out;

1- Having a short attention span doesn't necessarily translate to ADHD, however, adding mischief to it is a sure pointer because it provides an escape from the things he doesn't want to focus on. I've seen this play out many times. But first, you have to be sure by carrying out a test. In the meantime, you can get a home tutor or engage his class teacher to help manage his hyper-active spirit by channeling his energy towards his academics. Whether you like it or not, it's his personality to be active. Changing it may tamper with his childhood development.


2- His disciplinary issue shouldn't be treated with a kids glove. He is still at the formative stage of his behavioural patterns, hence, it can still be nipped in the bud. How? Use the simple technique of treating poison with another poison. Instill discipline in him by any means possible (serious flogging, punishment and a little touch of madness). My daughter was once like that, she wouldn't do anything you instruct her. Even when the mother beats her, she still wouldn't bulge. I overcame that challenge with the technique above, now, she's as obedient as a good child should be. Me I no dey condone nonsense at all!


3- Introduce a system of reward system in your household. Do not buy him any expensive thing unless he merits it (by achieving something extraordinary). Gradually, it becomes registered in his brain that every good deed will be rewarded and every bad deed will be punished. It's called Reward & Punishment system in education. My daughter at her young age gets reward from me for completing her homework. I ask her class teacher & lesson teacher for weekly reports of her performance in class, I ask the mum for report on her assigned chores (cleaning the chair, rinsing the plates, arranging the shoes in the rack amongst others). Even in her school's extra curricular, I make sure I reward her for doing well in it. Aside material rewards, I ensure I praise her good deeds by telling her 'Well done' 'Good girl' 'Daddy's girl'. I have noticed overtime that these words & rewards motivates her to always be on her best behaviour.


4- You have to take charge of the situation yourself. Being a parent is a full time job, hence, let your children know that you're following their every move. You're getting reports on their behaviours at home, at school and in everything they do. If they know that you do a routine check on them, it will help curb some of their excesses. The believe that 'Daddy will find out' makes children think twice before undertaking some behaviours. Never a day have I slept without checking my child's homework or going through her communication book to see what the Teacher has written. Me wey body dey pepper on top the school fee wey I dey pay.


5- You and your wife also have to be on the same page; most times if their mother excuses their bad behaviour, the children will exploit that loophole to get away with several things. They may even form the habit of playing you both against each other. That was where my erstwhile Director's problem started with her kids. Their father always encourage their bad behaviour, while the mother beats the living daylight out of them. As a result, the children exploited that to the fullest until they were no longer afraid of them both. Parenting is a team work. Your children have to see it that both of their parents are always on the same page in terms of raising them.


6- Discipline; mild flogging, strenuous corporal punishment, denying them of something they love doing, giving them attitude when they do something wrong, pardoning them when they least expect (and even having a heart to heart chat with them), stoopping to their level by doing what they enjoy doing with them (watching their favourite cartoons with them, riding their bicycles with them or even sitting idly with them),etc. If you know how to alternate these things, it will create a bond between you and your children. They will love, respect and still fear you. Why? Because they cannot completely understand you. You've become an enigma to them. My wife still wonders why my daughter loves me so much despite how I beat her. It's a technique and one has to know how to apply it.

Do these and come back for testimony. May the Almighty God see you through.

PS- You do not need to bring them to Nigeria in order to discipline them most Nigerian children self are nothing to write home about. It's about the methods you adopt in raising them. Afterall, I was born and raised in Ajegunle too. But you see my father, he is a super dad in terms of parenting.