| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by Nobody: 9:12pm On Mar 26, 2022 |
DontBullshitMe:
See pikin dey waste lifetime opportunity of being raised in the US sha. 
Don't worry. He will regret everything once he becomes older and learn that he has several of his kinsmen in Africa who are risking their life crossing the Mediterranean, sitting for GRE/SAT/IELTS, sleeping overnight in foreign embassies for the same opportunity he's getting free of charge.
Just let him grow up. I wish he knew If I can transmute myself into his body. I'd take advantage of every opportunity there. If I no make am make I die  Dude doesn't know we shout up NEPA here after weeks of darkness and severe heat. Dude doesn't know any elderly person can flog sense into your head when you missbehave Dude doesn't know that that football academy he's joking with. Millions are here looking for such opportunity but no money for sponsorship Dude doesn't know there are brilliant kids who are brilliant but can't afford fees to go to school Dude doesn't know there are kids below 18 working as security guard and in factories earning less than minimum wage to meet basic needs Dude doesn't know there's cultism here where they kill and butcher each other like chicken Dude doesn't know that that PS5 he's playing will pay 3 sessions of someone school fees in a public university here |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by Kobojunkie: 9:20pm On Mar 26, 2022 |
NewSoul:
Dude doesn't know any elderly person can flog sense into your head when you missbehave No be sense dem dey flog into you! Instead your elderly use fear to force you to submit to doing as you are commanded to, kind of the same method your police and politician are notorious for using against you all. 5 Likes |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by Feeyarh(f): 10:23pm On Mar 26, 2022 |
Your child does not have ADHD
There's nothing wrong with this boy.
This type of children are called EXCEPTIONAL CHILDREN . You can Google it
They are usually very rare like 1 in every 500 children |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by Ajibade123(m): 10:38pm On Mar 26, 2022 |
klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.
My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.
This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.
I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.
I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.
Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.
if he is very smart things will bore him easily which might be one of the reasons he acts like that you might need to engage him in something more complex and boring something like programming or design |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by Ajibade123(m): 10:40pm On Mar 26, 2022 |
klassyguy:
I see nothing wrong in buying a game console for my kids. Besides he only plays train simulators, overcooked, and lego jurassic world. And they know they only get to play it on weekends for a few hours, which they adhere to. So the PS5 is not the issue. maybe you should limit the games to just his tab alone on weekends you can ban him from the console for now |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by Ajibade123(m): 10:49pm On Mar 26, 2022 |
klassyguy:
Taking him for a test is not my problem. Their mother is against it. I cannot do that without her support. And the thought of moving to Nigeria was just a thought. We both have been chewing on that for a while now. Raising kids in this environment, particularly in today's US, is not as easy as you think. When I grew up in Nigeria, I had teachers who would flog the daylights out of you for misbehaving in class, and once you get home, you will get additional cane. I know how many times my dad broke cables on my back for misbehaving in school, and that is after I got punished by my teachers. Those beatings straightened me out and made me who I am today. Here, teachers cannot lay their hands on kids as they can be arrested for abusing the child. I've seen it play out several times and it is not pretty. Even the good ol' "ass whopping" families give their kids when they misbehave is frowned on as one nosy neighbor can call child services and report that you're abusing your kids. As someone with years of experience teaching kids I can tell you that you don't have to whip a child before you discipline a child in fact the threat to use cane (threat ) should be a last resort since you said he like console games you can use that as discipline for him tell him he won't play any kind of games if he doesn't comply with you 1 Like |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by ChoCho54(f): 11:14pm On Mar 26, 2022 |
Igbofam:
African mentality?
The husband could have put her off with his paranoia?
Chai, women supporting women!
Abi na you be his wife? Wetin you dey hide Nne? LMAO |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by ravensckar(m): 11:54pm On Mar 26, 2022 |
Tutu82:
This is a one page instruction on the quickest way to lose your child(ren) to Social service and/or land in Jail that i ever did see.
Corporal punishment is physical harm and no person needs to go through that sort of treatment. As expected, the children protection crew have made their entry. What took you so long? Before we proceed further, I'd like to know if you have kids of your own. So that you can suggest your own 'pragmatic ways' of dealing with the issue rather than attack another person's own. I don't want to waste my time bandying words on parenting with someone who's probably got no experience other than theoretical knowledge. |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by ravensckar(m): 11:58pm On Mar 26, 2022 |
aribisala0:
Serious flogging as you suggest in some countries will automatically result in the children being removed from you and your name recorded in a register . You would not be allowed to work with children and may even end up with a criminal record
That may work in Warri but not in the Western world Another 'woke' parent on the loose! Perhaps if you had removed that speck of dust on your face you would have seen that I never type anything 'serious flogging' as you have mischieviously paraphrased. Make una dey use una common sense quote people sometimes nau. Hian?  |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by aribisala0(m): 12:11am On Mar 27, 2022 |
ravensckar:
Another 'woke' parent on the loose! Perhaps if you had removed that speck of dust on your face you would have seen that I never type anything 'serious flogging' as you have mischieviously paraphrased.
Make una dey use una common sense quote people sometimes nau. Hian? Who wrote this? ravensckar:
2- His disciplinary issue shouldn't be treated with a kids glove. He is still at the formative stage of his behavioural patterns, hence, it can still be nipped in the bud. How? Use the simple technique of treating poison with another poison. Instill discipline in him by any means possible (serious flogging, punishment and a little touch of madness). My daughter was once like that, she wouldn't do anything you instruct her. Even when the mother beats her, she still wouldn't bulge. I overcame that challenge with the technique above, now, she's as obedient as a good child should be. Me I no dey condone nonsense at all!
. 1 Like |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by Cleanworld(f): 12:43am On Mar 27, 2022 |
klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.
My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.
This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.
I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.
I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.
Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.
Gillian is a seven-year-old girl who cannot sit in school. She continually gets up, gets distracted, flies with thoughts, and doesn't follow lessons. Her teachers worry about her, punish her, scold her, reward the few times that she is attentive, but nothing. Gillian does not know how to sit and cannot be attentive. When she comes home, her mother punishes her too. So not only does she Gillian have bad grades and punishment at school, but she also suffers from them at home. One day, Gillian's mother is called to school. The lady, sad as someone waiting for bad news, takes her hand and goes to the interview room. The teachers speak of illness, of an obvious disorder. Maybe it's hyperactivity or maybe she needs a medication. During the interview an old teacher arrives who knows the little girl. He asks all the adults, mother and colleagues, to follow him into an adjoining room from where she can still be seen. As he leaves, he tells Gillian that they will be back soon and turns on an old radio with music. As the girl is alone in the room, she immediately gets up and begins to move up and down chasing the music in the air with her feet and her heart. The teacher smiles as the colleagues and the mother look at him between confusion and compassion, as is often done with the old. So he says: "See? Gillian is not sick, Gillian is a dancer!" He recommends that her mother take her to a dance class and that her colleagues make her dance from time to time. She attends her first lesson and when she gets home she tells her mother: "Everyone is like me, no one can sit there!" In 1981, after a career as a dancer, opening her own dance academy and receiving international recognition for her art, Gillian Lynne became the choreographer of the musical "Cats." Hopefully all “different” children find adults capable of welcoming them for who they are and not for what they lack. Long live the differences, the little black sheep and the misunderstood. They are the ones who create beauty in this world. 3 Likes 
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| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by AkanmuKehinde(m): 2:39am On Mar 27, 2022 |
klassyguy:
Thank you very much. The funny thing is i do not even allow them to watch anything until the weekend. They know they have their school work to do each time they get home.
One issue I figured is my son gets bored easily. He gets tired of things once he has done them more than twice or thrice. When I call and tell him we would work on his homeworks when I get home, more often than not he would have done them before I get home. He is the kind of kid who can't sit still in one place for long and gets distracted, which was how I was when I was his age. That's why I decided to enroll him into the U8 soccer team he is. He has been there for a few weeks now and i hope that helps him. Seeking for advice is not bad, surfing the Internet for more information is good. But still......., Ps.127.1 Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. (KJV) Ps.127.3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. (KJV) You're just a steward on your children, take the matter to God that gave them to you, He'll surely sees you through. Well done. |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by haggai247: 4:01am On Mar 27, 2022 |
klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.
My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.
This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.
I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.
I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.
Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.
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| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by haggai247: 4:07am On Mar 27, 2022 |
klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.
My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.
This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.
I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.
I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.
Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.
Your son has ADHD try to read books about ADHD I'll recommend book from Cara Becca on Amazon. she has book planners and other tools you can use but most important...she tells you how to go about it without medication and how to talk with your doctor. Hope you didn't give your son flu vaccine and other vaccine from big pharma that contain aluminum acernic skellins and other poisonous snake oil. Tell your wife to cut cheese, milk and other foods that trigger him. |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by bepositive11: 4:24am On Mar 27, 2022 |
Those beatings broke you down. You said that you're son likes PS5 right? Use that to your advantage to discipline him. For example, tell him that if he doesn't do so and so, he won't be able to use PS5 for so and so time. This is how children are disciplined without physical abuse. Use the things that he likes as consequences for your boundaries of what you will not tolerate klassyguy:
Taking him for a test is not my problem. Their mother is against it. I cannot do that without her support. And the thought of moving to Nigeria was just a thought. We both have been chewing on that for a while now. Raising kids in this environment, particularly in today's US, is not as easy as you think. When I grew up in Nigeria, I had teachers who would flog the daylights out of you for misbehaving in class, and once you get home, you will get additional cane. I know how many times my dad broke cables on my back for misbehaving in school, and that is after I got punished by my teachers. Those beatings straightened me out and made me who I am today. Here, teachers cannot lay their hands on kids as they can be arrested for abusing the child. I've seen it play out several times and it is not pretty. Even the good ol' "ass whopping" families give their kids when they misbehave is frowned on as one nosy neighbor can call child services and report that you're abusing your kids. |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by Bishopwizzy(m): 6:27am On Mar 27, 2022 |
klassyguy:
Taking him for a test is not my problem. Their mother is against it. I cannot do that without her support. And the thought of moving to Nigeria was just a thought. We both have been chewing on that for a while now. Raising kids in this environment, particularly in today's US, is not as easy as you think. When I grew up in Nigeria, I had teachers who would flog the daylights out of you for misbehaving in class, and once you get home, you will get additional cane. I know how many times my dad broke cables on my back for misbehaving in school, and that is after I got punished by my teachers. Those beatings straightened me out and made me who I am today. Here, teachers cannot lay their hands on kids as they can be arrested for abusing the child. I've seen it play out several times and it is not pretty. Even the good ol' "ass whopping" families give their kids when they misbehave is frowned on as one nosy neighbor can call child services and report that you're abusing your kids. That isn't working in Nigeria anymore for if you dwell on it I guess you'd rather stay back. Moreover we back home are looking for a way to escape this country. Parents of this days now threatens to sue schools for flogging their kids and schools this days don't allow that too. Some teachers even get sacked for trying to discipline a kid. Nigerians have now adopted they Yankee style. The football academy is fine and I pray someday soon it will be corrected. 1 Like |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by Cutehector(m): 6:39am On Mar 27, 2022 |
Abeg marriage na rubbish..here is a mother just allowing herself to be used by the devil as a stumbling block not to allow her son go for tr test.
Mchew! |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by egopersonified(f): 7:27am On Mar 27, 2022 |
Have you ever asked him what he wants to do? There is something he does or can do for hours without losing attention, what are they? Does he like to dismantle and assemble things? Is he interested in science? Does he like dogs or cats? If his pre school teacher confirmed he is intelligent, maybe not the book intelligence we all know about, maybe he wants to build planes and engines, or invent a cure for cancer, or be a chef?
You were flogged to follow the world order of studying and having good grades, the question you should ask yourself is, with your life experience, what courses or jobs do you wish you had pursued, instead of what you are doing now? Then try to introduce them to him at his level. |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by geezynoni: 7:45am On Mar 27, 2022 |
Zonefree:
You bought PS5 for a six year old and you're wondering why he's misbehaving There's nothing wrong with that at all. There are lots of 6 yr olds in the US with a ps5 and majority of them do not trouble their parents like this person's kid is. |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by Adekaka12345: 7:52am On Mar 27, 2022 |
klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.
My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.
This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.
I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.
I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.
Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.
Nothing is wrong with your child.
Infuse what he likes into what you want him to do.
Then be a bit strict.
Deprive him of some things and give him some when he does what you want.
He is just a child and he is smart too.
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| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by byteem: 8:41am On Mar 27, 2022 |
klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.
My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.
This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.
I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.
I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.
Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.
Raising kids over dere can be very difficult.. my uncle had to relocate with his family back to Nigeria and have them school here that might be drastic so keep that as a last resort. My sis. Spanks her children in the basement so the neighbors won't hear .. all done with love officurse.. spanking is crucial .. sometimes they have to know who is boss.. But that said there are other ways to show who is boss without spanking.. there are time where u have to be a parent .. for starters that game console has to go for now No reward for bad behavior and always let him know bad behavior comes with consequences Carrot and stick ..deny him those things he loves ..send him to his room or have him face the wall pack up the cartoon . He will scream oh so he loves to scream let him scream till he his tired and still don't let him have his way .. u don't necessarily have to spank.. When kids think they can bully u into giving them what they want by screaming or crying ..and u gladly obkidge for peace to rain or get them to be quiet .. u become a pawn in their hands . And that card will be dealt over and over each time they don't have their way . .. spend more time with your kids.. talk with him .. kids understand more than we know .works .. bible classes .. I recommend superbook .. rather than cartoon let them watch that .. talk to them advice gist. . and don't forget . U are the mirror.. Is there something you are doing that is rubbing off in them.. don't ever let ur kids see u and madam quarrel or argue.or fight... Ensure they don't see that . It's inevitable for u and madam to have issues once in a while. but ensure u don't let ur kids see it.. keep them from that .. kids don't forget Always be in agreement as far as the kids are concerned .. If mummy says no daddy should not say yes. If daddy says no mummy should not say yes.. it's crucial u and ur wife agree on this .. cos they are smart and will test ur Will and play on that loophole. Take charge good cop bad cop help too. When dad is bad cop let mum be good cop without reversing dad's position. And vice versa .. . i.e sorry love but dad is right .. u can have that.. Age 4 to 12 is fundermental in a kids life .. its when they firm their personalities.. God help u boss. |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by chival(f): 9:31am On Mar 27, 2022 |
klassyguy:
Taking him for a test is not my problem. Their mother is against it. I cannot do that without her support. And the thought of moving to Nigeria was just a thought. We both have been chewing on that for a while now. Raising kids in this environment, particularly in today's US, is not as easy as you think. When I grew up in Nigeria, I had teachers who would flog the daylights out of you for misbehaving in class, and once you get home, you will get additional cane. I know how many times my dad broke cables on my back for misbehaving in school, and that is after I got punished by my teachers. Those beatings straightened me out and made me who I am today. Here, teachers cannot lay their hands on kids as they can be arrested for abusing the child. I've seen it play out several times and it is not pretty. Even the good ol' "ass whopping" families give their kids when they misbehave is frowned on as one nosy neighbor can call child services and report that you're abusing your kids. If the only reason you are contemplating returning to Nigeria is because you hope the school system will straighten your child out, then I'll advise you to abort mission. The school system is no longer what you remember. These days teachers are afraid of instilling discipline in kids because of the blow back from both parents and school owners. Returning from the US, you will most likely enrol your kids in an upscale school, and those ones have an aversion for discipline. |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by Advision: 10:17am On Mar 27, 2022 |
klassyguy:
I appreciate all the comments, suggestions, and criticisms from everyone. Some of the comments reminded me of some things I have observed of him.
1. He does seem to be technical. My son talks about trains, fire engines, and other stuff. He has several toy trains and he is always taking them apart and tries to put them back together.
2. Contrary to some comments, I manage their screen time. They do not watch anything or play the PS5 until the weekend. The games he plays are not violent. I intentionally have Parental Control on the console, and he only asks me to download his train simulator, Firetruck games, and once in a while he plays the Lego Jurassic park.
3. He knows he gets to only play during the weekend. So he doesn't even bother asking for the PS or even logging into Youtube until Saturday or Sunday. He does not go behind my back to play it while I'm not hime, and if he does want to play on weekends and I'm not home, he always calls me on his mom's phone to ask for permission first. Most of the week, he just plays with his toys and lego bricks.
Like some of you fine people said, he may be bored at the level he is and needs something more challenging. I remember one day I caught him watching something out of the norm. I insisted he showed me what he was watching. The kid was shaking that day. Only for me to see a video on how airplanes work. I asked him why he was scared, and he told me he thought I will slap him for watching something other than kids stuff on YouTube. another day he asked me if we can continue to watch the video I was watching on History channel. I asked him which video, and he said "Bismarck". I was surprised he knew about it, and when I asked him what it was, he said it was a big battleship that shoots. Right now as I type this, I can see him watching something about the design of school buses.
I plan on setting up an appointment to see his pediatrician this week to rule out the ADHD.
Thank you all and I will keep you all posted. Bro, you're not alone. I have a son that about behaves this exact way except he is three years old. I also suspect attention deficit disorder. It has gotten so bad, my wife is scared and embarrassed to take him outside because he can very easily throw a feat of tantrum. On my part I must carry or hold him while strolling or else bros will get lost looking left and right. I have also considered and still consider having him raised in Nigeria till he is at least 6 or 7 years and can properly understand instructions with proper discipline installed. His situation is putting a strain on us too...I have even started praying about his situation. |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by byteem: 11:16am On Mar 27, 2022 |
TheGift:
First things first, your child does not have a problem. He is not different from many His age, just like your mum implied.,
Stop trying to force fit him into a box. Especially the box of education. The school system is not perfect for every child.
Parents need to take charge of their children’s development.
If He acts up when the light is flickering then there might be a condition. This is why it would be good for Him to get medically checked. That your wife doesn’t want it, is not enough reason to not get Him checked.
As per His not being focused , except for things like His PS5. You can make doing the things He likes a reward for doing the things He doesn’t like. E.g “if you participate in football practice this morning , you can play PS5 in the evening”
You need to be careful not to give in to His every whim. Children need discipline. The trick is to not do it from a place of frustration and anger, but with grace and hope.
I wish you the very best. Perfect 1 Like |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by girlygirlyMain: 11:24am On Mar 27, 2022 |
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| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by angelo5uk(m): 12:42pm On Mar 27, 2022 |
prophetfire:
. I know but at least in Africa, you can discipline but over there, you can't. That's my point.
A situation where a parent that knows that his kid needs discipline to get it right, but can't enforce it can be frustrating.
I can't abdicate my responsibility towards my kids and can't watch them become wayward.
We have many African parents that due to poverty and ignorance, have abandoned their duties. Yes you can discipline. Matter of fact I do that to my kids all the time. They're are several effective ways that we as parents can discipline our kids. The word discipline itself comes from discipleship.. Meaning to teach. Flogging, hitting or causing physical harm to a child is not discipline. There's a thin line between how we discipline kids in Africa and child abuse. That's why lots of kids in Africa dont have self confidence. They don flog their confidence commot for their body. The first thing I noticed since relocating abroad is that kids here are very self confident. They can look you in the eye and have a very good conversation with you. I know liberals here in the US will rather have their kids run in autopilot mode which is very wrong but just like I said we can take the best of both worlds and raise our kids accordingly. This is one of the major reason why 1st generation immigrants kids usually do way better than American kids. |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by ogawisdom(m): 1:05pm On Mar 27, 2022 |
klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.
My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.
This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.
I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.
I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.
Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.
Spare the rod and spoil the child is a divine injunction |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by siofra(f): 1:26pm On Mar 27, 2022 |
Kobojunkie:
So you don't want to get your child to a child therapist to figure out early the reason why you as a parent have not been able to get a handle on your child, but you want to take him to Nigeria where the child's particular emotional situation will be all but ignored and the child forced into survival mode ? I want to hug you for this comment. That child is showing symptoms of autism. 1 Like |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by Kattyb88: 1:26pm On Mar 27, 2022 |
I have a similar situation with you. I am in Canada my son is six years and I can tell you he is extremely intelligent. But he behaves sometimes funny always jumping around his teacher has given us a referral letter to see a pediatrician neurologist. I sent you a dm if you can reply me I would love to discuss the how we can understand this situation and help cope with these kids. |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by Kobojunkie: 2:38pm On Mar 27, 2022 |
Advision:
Bro, you're not alone. I have a son that about behaves this exact way except he is three years old. I also suspect attention deficit disorder.
It has gotten so bad, my wife is scared and embarrassed to take him outside because he can very easily throw a feat of tantrum.
On my part I must carry or hold him while strolling or else bros will get lost looking left and right.
I have also considered and still consider having him raised in Nigeria till he is at least 6 or 7 years and can properly understand instructions with proper discipline installed. His situation is putting a strain on us too...I have even started praying about his situation. Please stop praying and go get him to see a child therapist. That boy does not need "deliverance", what he needs is special attention, and the clues you get from therapists can help you better understand and give him the kind of attention he needs.. 1 Like |
| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by Kobojunkie: 2:39pm On Mar 27, 2022 |
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| Re: My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand by Kennyxton: 2:46pm On Mar 27, 2022 |
Run to God for deliverance of your child.
There is a spirit disturbing that child. Please do not take this as insult or something of that nature.
Get rid of Toys, Cartons, games and suchlike from your child, characters therein are affecting your child's personality.
This advice is true.
Carnal minded people do not see the things of the spirit for they are spiritually discerned.
I plead with you, take this advice, destroy and remove above mentioned devices which your child uses. Placee him in the hand of God and leave the rest, God will grant you deliverance.
He that has ear, let him hear.
This is only and advice, you can reject or accept it.
Submit yourselves to God.
(Someone may ask, what of the sister?, I will not want to go into intricacies of things beyond us.)
(From people's username, you can deduce the type of advice and personality they are, that's by-the-way)
Grace to you |
