have u found out if she was circumcised? that could be d reason women like that don't easily get aroused, in fact some of them hate sex with passion my elder sister is a case study here, she hates sex she told me she only have sex with her husband only when she wants to get pregnant that her husband is tired of complaining, the man has resigned to fate.

You are reaping the fruits of your simping.

Whiteheartbit:
To the point that I seek her consent if we can make out for the night ( it's not the top priority in our lives though, but it's necessary) she sometimes come up with an excuse which I'll understand or she agrees but ends up disappointing ( i.e sleeps off or not in the mood) and I get pissed off, because I'm left ganging and she doesn't care. My God!
For about a month it's been dry sex and it's making me feel as if I'm violating her, forcing her against her will.
The very last time it was as if I was making out with a dead body, no sound, no moves, no connection. Mahn o Mahnnnn

I'm at the verge of taking the selibacy way, because that was my vow before I married her.
This sex thing is distracting me.

I need advice, is there something about women I don't known because I've read and researched about women.

It is probably time for marriage counseling. There maybe things on your wife's mind that is keeping her from being as connected with you intimately as you used to previously have. Since all you have tried hasn't been fruitful, if may be time for you two to sit with a counselor to help you dig to the bottom of the problem.

odinson1:


Run a DNA test on those kids of yours

the only advice that is genuine. Once you confirmed the kids are yours boom!!!!! You have no business begging her for s3x no more, you gerriit if you don't gerriit then 4get about it.

Emulate the guy who called his sidechick to cook fish for him.

Go where you are treated best.

Please go for counseling or probably sex therapy to get her to talk and see how you can spice things up.

Kollins11:
The day I will beg a woman for sex.. My Ancestors will come out from their graves, surround me and flog me with a naked copper wire.

What are men turning into? Don't you know you're reducing your self worth by begging and persuading your wife for sex... Please stop Simping in marriage.

If your wife no wan give you good sex... Go out and get one beautiful lady with fresh, soft and tight kpekus who would fvck the living demon out of your destiny.. Infact she would moan so loud that Jesus will come knocking at your door saying "My son please take it easy with her.. Don't kill someone only daughter"

There are many girls out there who would give it to you exactly how you want it. Shey na missionary style, wheelbarrow style, doggystyle, aeroplane style, stand-lifting style, snake in the monkey shadow style,.. Just name it.

Don't beg that woman for sex again and if she's caught cheating on you.. Please don't hesitate to kick her out of your house

It's official, mad people don enter nairaland

czarr:
Yes there is a lot about women you don't know so listen attentively.

You mentioned you've never cheated on her and she knows it, you see that is part of the problem, a woman cannot give her best when she is assured of your commitment and faithfulness.

If a woman knows for certain you won't cheat on her or leave her she'll be bored.

UNCERTAINTY about your faithfulness is what pushes a woman to give her best in the bedroom and home. It's why men who are known by their wives to have the need,ability and capacity to cheat have the best behaved women.

Create an air of uncertainty, create competition anxiety in her, you don't have to cheat, she just has to feel like her place is being threatened.

Have your guy friend call you in the night hours save his number with a female name and don't pick, if she questions you about the call, say it's a married woman from your office that is disturbing you let that your guy send love messages to your phone.

buy presents like wrist watch or perfume and have it delivered to your address it should be tagged from your secret admirer....I know it sounds cheesy but building attraction and stimulating competition anxiety is a game, play it or remain depressed, don't over do it though.

Women want what other women want, if you wife sees that you are wanted by different women out there, she'll step up her game, but remember while doing all these don't ask for sex, and if she makes moves decline...and watch how the power would shift back to your hands.

Relationships are not about love but about power and leverage, she has the power over you because she knows you are a good guy, a stand up guy, so she uses sex as a weapon to get you to do her bidding and let things go her way because you are worried she would deprive you of sex.

Another thing is that you may not be her type, and she settled for you cos you are a safe option and her type would not commit to her.

that is why you should know your woman's type, the type of guys she gave her body to in her past....if you don't match the description of those guys, then understand that she is settling for you and you don't turn her on.

I have to go check the username again to know if I didn't write this, because this seems like something that I would write.

You have sense. Thanks for blessing nairaland with it.

czarr:
Yes there is a lot about women you don't know so listen attentively.

You mentioned you've never cheated on her and she knows it, you see that is part of the problem, a woman cannot give her best when she is assured of your commitment and faithfulness.

If a woman knows for certain you won't cheat on her or leave her she'll be bored.

UNCERTAINTY about your faithfulness is what pushes a woman to give her best in the bedroom and home. It's why men who are known by their wives to have the need,ability and capacity to cheat have the best behaved women.

Create an air of uncertainty, create competition anxiety in her, you don't have to cheat, she just has to feel like her place is being threatened.

Have your guy friend call you in the night hours save his number with a female name and don't pick, if she questions you about the call, say it's a married woman from your office that is disturbing you let that your guy send love messages to your phone.

buy presents like wrist watch or perfume and have it delivered to your address it should be tagged from your secret admirer....I know it sounds cheesy but building attraction and stimulating competition anxiety is a game, play it or remain depressed, don't over do it though.

Women want what other women want, if you wife sees that you are wanted by different women out there, she'll step up her game, but remember while doing all these don't ask for sex, and if she makes moves decline...and watch how the power would shift back to your hands.

Relationships are not about love but about power and leverage, she has the power over you because she knows you are a good guy, a stand up guy, so she uses sex as a weapon to get you to do her bidding and let things go her way because you are worried she would deprive you of sex.

Another thing is that you may not be her type, and she settled for you cos you are a safe option and her type would not commit to her.

that is why you should know your woman's type, the type of guys she gave her body to in her past....if you don't match the description of those guys, then understand that she is settling for you and you don't turn her on.

ABEG WHO GIVE YOU THIS SENSE LOL

I RESPECT YOU...MORE WORDS OF WISDOM

Angrily speaking, that your wife is.....

pansophist:


It's official, mad people don enter nairaland

fikayormi:
I don’t beg for sex ,

If my wife tries that with me omo na to stop sex with her totally ,

Na she use her hands send me out to cheat be that

Me wey my eyes dey out bf say I just dey practice self control ..

Baba agbalagba!!!!!!

pansophist:


I have to go check the username again to know if I didn't write this, because this seems like something that I would write.

You have sense. Thanks for blessing nairaland with it.

Boss man.
I like reading your comments. Thanks.

Kollins11:
The day I will beg a woman for sex.. My Ancestors will come out from their graves, surround me and flog me with a naked copper wire.

What are men turning into? Don't you know you're reducing your self worth by begging and persuading your wife for sex... Please stop Simping in marriage.

If your wife no wan give you good sex... Go out and get one beautiful lady with fresh, soft and tight kpekus who would fvck the living demon out of your destiny.. Infact she would moan so loud that Jesus will come knocking at your door saying "My son please take it easy with her.. Don't kill someone only daughter"

There are many girls out there who would give it to you exactly how you want it. Shey na missionary style, wheelbarrow style, doggystyle, aeroplane style, stand-lifting style, snake in the monkey shadow style,.. Just name it.

Don't beg that woman for sex again and if she's caught cheating on you.. Please don't hesitate to kick her out of your house

You have said it all brotherly

czarr:
Yes there is a lot about women you don't know so listen attentively.

You mentioned you've never cheated on her and she knows it, you see that is part of the problem, a woman cannot give her best when she is assured of your commitment and faithfulness.

If a woman knows for certain you won't cheat on her or leave her she'll be bored.

UNCERTAINTY about your faithfulness is what pushes a woman to give her best in the bedroom and home. It's why men who are known by their wives to have the need,ability and capacity to cheat have the best behaved women.

Create an air of uncertainty, create competition anxiety in her, you don't have to cheat, she just has to feel like her place is being threatened.

Have your guy friend call you in the night hours save his number with a female name and don't pick, if she questions you about the call, say it's a married woman from your office that is disturbing you let that your guy send love messages to your phone.

buy presents like wrist watch or perfume and have it delivered to your address it should be tagged from your secret admirer....I know it sounds cheesy but building attraction and stimulating competition anxiety is a game, play it or remain depressed, don't over do it though.

Women want what other women want, if you wife sees that you are wanted by different women out there, she'll step up her game, but remember while doing all these don't ask for sex, and if she makes moves decline...and watch how the power would shift back to your hands.

Relationships are not about love but about power and leverage, she has the power over you because she knows you are a good guy, a stand up guy, so she uses sex as a weapon to get you to do her bidding and let things go her way because you are worried she would deprive you of sex.

Another thing is that you may not be her type, and she settled for you cos you are a safe option and her type would not commit to her.

that is why you should know your woman's type, the type of guys she gave her body to in her past....if you don't match the description of those guys, then understand that she is settling for you and you don't turn her on.

I don't know you, but whoever you are, may the Almighty God bless you for speaking such unadulterated truth.

A woman who feels extremely secured in her relationship will become boring. Like who is she trying to please? My wife once tried this nonsense with me. After the birth of our first child, she just shut down network all in the name of hormonal changes & post-natal whatever. Me wey no get chill, I just smiled and told her I get it. By the time she started picking condoms in my back pockets, seeing me receive different female calls and perceiving different female scents on my body. She back tracked and became as loving & romantic as she used to be. And one bad thing about me is that; me I no dey pretend how e dey do me. She knows if I'm not getting it from her, I'm definitely getting it somewhere.

Las las, she came back to her senses and started giving it to me left right & centre. After the birth of our second child, I think sey that hormonal thing go happen again make I ready my machine gun but alas, na whyning. Exactly 21 days after the birth of the baby, we don resume our ta ta ta ta again. This time around, the thing come sweet pass when we just marry self. As I dey type so, na she go let me go work today. She nearly finished me for bed.


PS- Nigerian men should stop all these show of cowardice in the name of forming 'woke'. Wife wey you put for house dey deny you se.x and you're here lamenting like a 7 year old? Wetin self?

Nor take preek kill your wife.
The kpekus is always there for you.
No rush rush.
Just stay calm. Nor go take pre-intimacy injure your wife. She nor like that kind of play.
Take lime for one week to tame your greedy libido.
Think less of towtow. Nor be food.
I been get wife too. We been dey knack twice a month. No play play. We go straight.

Whiteheartbit:
Hello naira landers.
I really need your advice on what to do about this.
Sex with my wife has become so so boring that after it i most often time regret leaving whatever I was supposed to do for it. I mean the feeling of it was not worth it at all
I've tried all I know, I've read books and bought some for her to help out for our sexual life, yet the improvement is short leaved.

We've been married for Six years with two kids. Yet from the day we got married I can count how many times I've kissed my wife during or not during sex.
I've called her attention to it, if I managed to kiss her I must have begged my way through.
Like a secondary school chap.
------ I enjoy kissing -------- which she knows, she'll promise making a change yet no Change.

Okay, I've come to understand with her that maybe kissing is not her thing as it is for some women. Fine I don't go to that area any more.

All of a sudden, she's not interested in fore play of any kind, which I love to engage in no matter how badly I want to get in because I want the satisfaction to be mutual, but She just want me straight in.
Many times I'm filled with wondering thoughts while making up with her.
Peradventure she agrees to a pre-intimacy after much bagging and persuasion, it's not more than 5mins with restrictions to some parts. GGGGGGGGGGod!
I'll just be like what is this.

I've called her on serveral occasions if something was wrong, if she was going through any emotional stress or something I could help out with or change, response always negative.

Yet no improvement.

I don't know who to talk to, because I'm a very private person and respects privacy.

I'm doing my best to make her and the kids happy, to the best of my ability as God is helping me.
I'm a very charming and romantic dude, the best I know about myself in that area, which she has also told me.
I've never cheated on her, not once and I don't intend to and she knows.

I had to come up here to seek for help because it's getting out of hand.

To the point that I seek her consent if we can make out for the night ( it's not the top priority in our lives though, but it's necessary) she sometimes come up with an excuse which I'll understand or she agrees but ends up disappointing ( i.e sleeps off or not in the mood) and I get pissed off, because I'm left ganging and she doesn't care. My God!
For about a month it's been dry sex and it's making me feel as if I'm violating her, forcing her against her will.
The very last time it was as if I was making out with a dead body, no sound, no moves, no connection. Mahn o Mahnnnn

I'm at the verge of taking the selibacy way, because that was my vow before I married her.
This sex thing is distracting me.

I need advice, is there something about women I don't known because I've read and researched about women.

I can understand the frustration... I suggest you both visit a sex therapist

Whiteheartbit:
The first 2 year of our marriage was all good, she was sexually active and hot.
But the kissing part was still an issues.

I was not really available as I supposed to be in the second 2years due to the nature of my work, I was not meeting up at all sexually and emotionally.

Things got better I was transferred, I'm now in charge, which give me a lot of time to spend with the family.

As for the lesbian part I don't think so.

If she was sexually active and hot in the first 2yrs, I'm trying to deduce what changed 4yrs down the line. I presume she had to deal with the fact that you weren't always going to be around due to the nature of your job which is totally not your fault but in all sincerity, that is one thing that's not easy to come to terms with esp when a romantic relationship is involved, moreso when you're newly married.

She probably learned to restrain her emotions, raging hormones many times, I'm sure you had to as well. This minute he's home, you're both happy to be in each other's company, she's glad to have him back home once again and ofcourse he needs to get some rest but then time waits for no one, she blinks twice, he has to leave for work, poof! there he goes. Life goes on. She eventually got used to it, the mushy stuff(which was often short-lived) seemed meaningless to her and it stuck really hard that even now that you got transferred, she still isn't over it, psychologically.

About the kissing part, I see it was never her thing. Yes, there are people who find it unappealing, now I'm not talking about mouth odour, there are actually people who can't bear the thoughts or possibilities of exchanging saliva, someone sucking on their lips, rubbing tongues and all that. It has nothing to do with their partner, that's just how they feel about it. Like I said earlier, I'm not talking about being with someone who has bad breath or an oral disease.

Contrary to popular opinion here, for the fact that she wasn't always this cold towards you(in this regard) ever since being married, maybe you both need to see a marriage counselor. Just my 2kobo.

Kobojunkie:
It is probably time for marriage counseling. There maybe things on your wife's mind that is keeping her from being as connected with you intimately as you used to previously have. Since all you have tried hasn't been fruitful, if may be time for you two to sit with a counselor to help you dig to the bottom of the problem.

My thoughts as well.

70 years old man

Bro that is exactly my wife you just described. We have been married for 10 years. I had serious issues with her and battled with issues of kissing which she doesn't like, pre-intimacy for where, she only likes direct.
We are both believers so I had to endure it overtime and as we speak now bro, I had to find a way to leave with it bro. I now enjoy her just the way it is and had to enjoy our sex life with 2 kids. My brother It's not easy oh but I had to discipline myself that I die with my wife no matter what.

I fear God so I don't want to engage in adultery or any kind of nonsense with other Jezebel ladies. My advise get used to it. Give her time she will adjust.

Whiteheartbit:
Hello naira landers.
I really need your advice on what to do about this.
Sex with my wife has become so so boring that after it i most often time regret leaving whatever I was supposed to do for it. I mean the feeling of it was not worth it at all
I've tried all I know, I've read books and bought some for her to help out for our sexual life, yet the improvement is short leaved.

We've been married for Six years with two kids. Yet from the day we got married I can count how many times I've kissed my wife during or not during sex.
I've called her attention to it, if I managed to kiss her I must have begged my way through.
Like a secondary school chap.
------ I enjoy kissing -------- which she knows, she'll promise making a change yet no Change.

Okay, I've come to understand with her that maybe kissing is not her thing as it is for some women. Fine I don't go to that area any more.

All of a sudden, she's not interested in fore play of any kind, which I love to engage in no matter how badly I want to get in because I want the satisfaction to be mutual, but She just want me straight in.
Many times I'm filled with wondering thoughts while making up with her.
Peradventure she agrees to a pre-intimacy after much bagging and persuasion, it's not more than 5mins with restrictions to some parts. GGGGGGGGGGod!
I'll just be like what is this.

I've called her on serveral occasions if something was wrong, if she was going through any emotional stress or something I could help out with or change, response always negative.

Yet no improvement.

I don't know who to talk to, because I'm a very private person and respects privacy.

I'm doing my best to make her and the kids happy, to the best of my ability as God is helping me.
I'm a very charming and romantic dude, the best I know about myself in that area, which she has also told me.
I've never cheated on her, not once and I don't intend to and she knows.

I had to come up here to seek for help because it's getting out of hand.

To the point that I seek her consent if we can make out for the night ( it's not the top priority in our lives though, but it's necessary) she sometimes come up with an excuse which I'll understand or she agrees but ends up disappointing ( i.e sleeps off or not in the mood) and I get pissed off, because I'm left ganging and she doesn't care. My God!
For about a month it's been dry sex and it's making me feel as if I'm violating her, forcing her against her will.
The very last time it was as if I was making out with a dead body, no sound, no moves, no connection. Mahn o Mahnnnn

I'm at the verge of taking the selibacy way, because that was my vow before I married her.
This sex thing is distracting me.

I need advice, is there something about women I don't known because I've read and researched about women.

Whiteheartbit:
Hello naira landers.

Is she circumcised? If yes, celibacy is the way.
Your wife is not sexually attracted to you. But it doesn’t matter. You have to first stop begging her for sex. And as you said, celibacy is not a problem for you so this won’t be hard.

Secondly you have to remember that you are a man. From your write up, it seems you give her everything thing she needs, yet one of the few things you ask for, she has to make you feel like a rapist when giving you. You have to balance this equation.

There are some things you do “for her”. Things that if left to your own devices, you’ll rather not do. Stop them. Don’t relate stopping those things to her lack of intimacy if not she’ll want to make you out as petty (which you have to be to succeed, but it should never be said). She has become too comfortable that she feels she can get away without considering your needs.

Never beg for sex ever again. It reduces your value. If she doesn’t despise you, she’ll ask for it herself in time when she sees you’re not so desperate for it.

Kollins11:
The day I will beg a woman for sex.. My Ancestors will come out from their graves, surround me and flog me with a naked copper wire.

What are men turning into? Don't you know you're reducing your self worth by begging and persuading your wife for sex... Please stop Simping in marriage.

If your wife no wan give you good sex... Go out and get one beautiful lady with fresh, soft and tight kpekus who would fvck the living demon out of your destiny.. Infact she would moan so loud that Jesus will come knocking at your door saying "My son please take it easy with her.. Don't kill someone only daughter"

There are many girls out there who would give it to you exactly how you want it. Shey na missionary style, wheelbarrow style, doggystyle, aeroplane style, stand-lifting style, snake in the monkey shadow style,.. Just name it.

Don't beg that woman for sex again and if she's caught cheating on you.. Please don't hesitate to kick her out of your house

haaahaaa,haaaaha,this is exactly what I wanted to say,but pls don't kick her out not yet,that is why it is highly recommended for you peace of mind and future sanity to fully taste a woman comprehensively before marriage,I strongly recommend nothing less than 20-30 rounds before you make up your mind about marriage,some women are naturally frigid and circumcised,but some people are really trying,to beg for sex,when I have chiamaka and favour hovering nearby,even many men that theirs wives will fvck the living daylights out of them still have one or two side chick around to spice up life,talkless when you no dey do at all,I will not even bother to touch you,no need,

You sure you don't have bad breath?
That's the first thing to look into and correct if need be since she doesn't like kissing you.

Also, how do you approach her when you're Hot?

Is it with smelly sweaty armpits or body because you men are fond of just jumping on a woman once you're on without considering proper hygiene or grooming.

Get some nice seductive perspirant and after bathing with a sweet scenting soap, spray and go to bed. Remember to brush and use a mouthwash and see if she won't be the one begging you to come and do.

Make it interesting for both of you.

[quote author=Kollins11 post=113605636]The day I will beg a woman for sex.. My Ancestors will come out from their graves, surround me and flog me with a naked copper wire.

What are men turning into? Don't you know you're reducing your self worth by begging and persuading your wife for sex... Please stop Simping in marriage.

If your wife no wan give you good sex... Go out and get one beautiful lady with fresh, soft and tight kpekus who would fvck the living demon out of your destiny.. Infact she would moan so loud that Jesus will come knocking at your door saying "My son please take it easy with her.. Don't kill someone only daughter"

There are many girls out there who would give it to you exactly how you want it. Shey na missionary style, wheelbarrow style, doggystyle, aeroplane style, stand-lifting style, snake in the monkey shadow style,.. Just name it.

Don't beg that woman for sex again and if she's caught cheating on you.. Please don't hesitate to kick her out of your house


What brought Jesus to this now? That's pure blasphemy. If you offend man, men would plead for you. But if you offend God who will plead for you? Be careful please. As for the oops I feel lashing Oraimo cord on your neck.

All the people their wives refused to kiss, your mouth is smelling. She doesn't want to tell you but your mouth hygiene is terrible.

Even women love kissing but not when your mouth feels clammy with plaque and oozing nonsense odor from your dirty teeth or throat.

Try light kisses, don't jump straight to tongueing, that's how some of you men kiss, just start forcing your smelling tongue inside your wives mouth. Start with only kissing lips alone, kiss, suck, lightly bite lips, don't involve tongue or teeth, you will notice there is less reluctance because your smelly spit and mouth odor is no longer part of the equation.

As for OP, your wife is not being nice by not telling you what the problem is that keeps her from wanting sex or maybe the problem is that she doesn't feel attracted to you and she doesn't want to hurt your feelings that's why she isn't telling you.

I don't even have to ask, I know that those first two years where she was actively having sex, she didn't orgasm or climax, even if she acted like she did, then just know that she was only pretending. There is no way a woman will have satisfying sex with a man for years and suddenly stop cold turkey. You were not satisfying her and she didn't say anything. She seems like someone that keeps things inside a lot.

Over time resentment built up and she started feeling used and started feeling disgusted by sex and losing attraction to you.

The issue could be because of any of the following:
-She's no longer sexually attracted to you
-She is holding a grudge against you over an issue you guys are yet to resolve
-Maybe she needs you to spice things up.Don't be a predictable lover...Up your game and study what she likes in bed and outside the bedroom in terms of pre-intimacy.
-She may be cheating (sorry,had to be said)
-She may have fallen out of love with you.A woman who loves her husband and is 100% into him and happy with him will even read books on se.xx tips,buy aphrodisiacs to boost her libido,buy lingerie and intentionally schedule times of the week to have a good time with him.

A woman who loves you, enjoys your se.xual advances and doesn't have any man elsewhere she's craving will naturally get aroused when you touch her.

Women love pre-intimacy,if your wife is telling you she doesn't want,it means she is just allowing you to sleep with her, just so u don't say she doesn't allow you touch her at all at all.

Get off nairaland and talk to her.She knows the reason why she changed towards you.Many married people don't know the power in communication.

I and my husband talk about everything ...Like we unpack issues,allow each other really vent and exhaust our arguments and apologize to each other.

It has helped our marriage and our bond a great deal because we communicate every issue bothering any of us to avoid resentments building up overtime.That way,no one is holding grudges and holding on to past issues.

Pls don't cheat on her,that should only be an option if you find out she is cheating on you.Until then,exhaust every other option to get jer talking and ready to change.Goodluck @whiteheartbit.

Bro! your wife is cheating on you nothing much....try and reject her food,avoid her for some days.

Kollins11:
The day I will beg a woman for sex.. My Ancestors will come out from their graves, surround me and flog me with a naked copper wire.

What are men turning into? Don't you know you're reducing your self worth by begging and persuading your wife for sex... Please stop Simping in marriage.

If your wife no wan give you good sex... Go out and get one beautiful lady with fresh, soft and tight kpekus who would fvck the living demon out of your destiny.. Infact she would moan so loud that Jesus will come knocking at your door saying "My son please take it easy with her.. Don't kill someone only daughter"

There are many girls out there who would give it to you exactly how you want it. Shey na missionary style, wheelbarrow style, doggystyle, aeroplane style, stand-lifting style, snake in the monkey shadow style,.. Just name it.

Don't beg that woman for sex again and if she's caught cheating on you.. Please don't hesitate to kick her out of your house

Bad advise.

Samething experience here bro, my marriage too is six years plus and I can count how many times I have sex with my wife. I can't remember when last I touch my wife breast not to talk of sucking. I have tried all I could just for her to improve but all to no avail.

Whiteheartbit:


Relationship and dating was good, I read and research alot, I prepared before venturing into marriage with her, we dated for 1yr 8months.

There were boundaries of no sex dating.
But we were emotionally attracted to each other and romantic.

We were not living together.
But we saw almost everyday after work and we spent good times together.

She came visiting the house maybe 4 - 5times throughout the dating period.

wait oO...Your wife to be only visited you 4-5 times in About 550 days and you lived in the same area...

Baba, you must have been scammed into that Marriage, reason I will advise any man to run away from any woman that says "no sex before marriage" if she's not a virgin...!!

There are bound to be regrets in such Marriage...