Konjour:

Anybody that commits suicide can never have any justifiable reason for doing so, Shame,ego,pride,depressions,and disappointments being the

major proponents of suicide are experienced by any living soul in varying magnitudes whilst they're alive. According to the story i saw,the lady had

even attempted committing suicide last year,so its been coming for long. Smacks of mental frailty,if you ask me. Anyways,wish her soul the redemption

she requires.

Good Point! People don't want to hear the truth as it is, they prefer to find irrational ways of justifying irrationality. Irrespective of whatever the lady's justifications are, committing suicide is totally defeatist, selfish, and achieves nothing in the end. We who are still alive do not do this lady any favours by keeping our mouths shut, we must talk! If we don't talk, more and more ladies in Nigeria will continue to follow this defeatist trend of committing suicide at the slightest whim, it is absolutely disgraceful!

claremont:

Good Point! People don't want to hear the truth as it is, they prefer to find irrational ways of justifying irrationality. Irrespective of whatever the lady's justifications are, committing suicide is totally defeatist, selfish, and achieves nothing in the end. We who are still alive do not do this lady any favours by keeping our mouths shut, we must talk! If we don't talk, more and more ladies in Nigeria will continue to follow this defeatist trend of committing suicide at the slightest whim, it is absolutely disgraceful!

Another big GBAM!

Afterall life is not for everybody, so says the law of natural selection. Disease, death and pestilences keeps the human population in check. Hence the saying, "only the strong survive". But in my entire study of ecology, suicide was never a case study, thereby making it a strange and outlandish scenario.

There is no excuse or justifiable reason for suicide. Personally I feel sorry for her family who might not get over her doomed soul

There are times when you really need to carve out your own niche in life, trust God to know what is GOOD FOR YOU and be the one that can see the forest beyond the trees. [b] What is wrong with being unique?  being different?  being note worthy?  Those are the ones that are ground breakers.  So what if people talk about you.  They will always talk.  Give them something note worthy to talk about by being great.[/b]Instead of following the crowd - DAAAAYYYYUUUUMMM - GIVE the crowd something to follow. 

Thanks you for this statement. It totally made my day and i'm putting in my fb status.

Having said that and looking at the pictures of this girl, looking all put together, nice nails, hair, make-up etc etc. Who would expect that she would want to take her life? How many young women, not excluding the men are walking around looking correct yet having serious underlying issues? Our society has become more complex than ever. May her soul rest in peace.

@annamaria, u are contradicting ursef,u acknowledge dat many pple av issues in life,yet gv d impression dat suicide is an option so we shdnt blame her for choosing ds most cowardly of optins.Am sad,suicide,cant get a job suicide,dnt av a rlationship suicide,av 1 but its 1sided,suicide,dont know how 2 satisfy my hobby in bed suicide!I bet u if we all had 2 chose suicide as d safest option 2 all d troubles we face in life den even d pope may fall into dat prey.Life is tough,evn in well developed societies and affluent homes,death wil come to us all 1day,y wont we allow it to b chosen for us by powers beyond us,rada dan we mis d joy dat d challenges of living giv us by taking it with our own hands!

omopatos:

I am deeply touched by the story of this lady. You can only imagine the pain she had been through. This lady had a benefit of good education and she was not in lack of good job. She however had issue with her womb. She must have laboured under the thought of being a childless woman and the attendant social stigma. Honestly, we have a terrible culture around here which makes it look like there is no life without a child. This is not true. Civilization has not changed some people’s view of life- not even the supposedly sophisticated among them. Her situation was not helped by her fiancée who was probably her only motivation for living. She got abandoned when she needed him the most.
It is easy to hurl blame at this man for the lady’s unsavoury fate but truth is, how many of us men can stay having been in the know of the state of her womb before marriage? Few, for sure. But this is not supposed to be so. This life is not a flower in the garden. We all have issues and no one is immune against life’s vicissitudes. I guess the impact of the news shattered whatever remained of her courage to live. I know of people who are living with more terrible issues but for this sister, it was just too much for her depressed mind and she had to call it quit. I do not support suicide but we should be careful to blame her.
Please do not under-estimate the power of depression. To say it is devastating is to make an oversimplification of a serious issue. I have suffered depression big time. In fact,I doubt seriously if I have recovered fully from it. So I am eminently qualified to talk about it. In depression, it is you against the whole world. Living makes no sense to you. Your university Degrees or good job makes no sense either. You just want to get out of this system of things.
The question is: where is the place of love in all of this?
To our sisters in here, next time a man says he loves you, it will not be too much of a request to ask him to define it. Love is not a walk in the park. Think with your head because in a matter of the heart, logic is always in short supply. A man will say he loves you, yet he wants to force his way into your virginals. Please ask him to define that kind of love. When you are pregnant, he asks you to abort it before taking you to the altar. Again ask him to define that kind of love. If you abort and are unfortunate to have complications during evacuation which results, probably, in a similar case of the lady in question, he abandons you in the most unfriendly way. I like to say here that complications from abortion is just one of several reasons that could necessitate removal of womb. I am not in any way insinuating this was what happened to this sister since I am not privy to what transpired in the relationship, but my point is that ladies should be on guard because the are always at the receiving end.
And to my male folk, the fact that you leave a lady for another is not a guarantee that the new one does not or will not have issues. In fact, it could be worse. People get married and later in life suffer one disease or the other. It could be cancer or impotence. But nobody will come out to announce what he or she is going through because life must go on. And that is the time this real love we pretend to understand will be on call. I wish this lady had found that kind of love. Good bye, Motunrayo

well said, im touched, tanx.

@ doctokwus, pardon me, but I don't see anywhere how I have condoned this young woman's taking of her own life. I understand the sense of hopelessness that a person can have when it seems everything may be going against them but I do not believe suicide is the way. I have not insinuated that in anything I wrote.

Clarification wel taken,we shdnt promote suicidal tendencies,life's tough,intriguing,challenging but shd b lived to d utmost.Evn if she had a womb issue,who knows, d way medical science is going in d nxt couple of years,mayb b4 she reaches menopause, a solution mayb found for pple like her.

@ Mr, Cork "she aint even light skin. she gots Nyansh? "

I'd say to Mr, Cork, refrain from making fun of the dead.
For me, the best I can say now is, MAY HER SOUL REST IN PEACE. Also, may the good Lord give her family the fortitude and strength to bear the loss.

According to other recent findings, she actually suffered from acute depression that her close friends and family members knew about. As i dont reside in naij i dont know if they have the services and facilities to cater for people that suffer such mental illnesses,

Yes I also did hear that she had a cyst in her womb and that resulted in her womb being taken out, coupled with the fact that she broke up with her boyfriend.

Suffering depression is bad enough, and can easily push anybody over the edge to do something silly and uncalled for, but people that have depression usually lose all self hope, and reasoning. That is just the problem.

A person that has a mind clouded with all sorts of thoughts of hopelessness, lonliness and self loathe will end up being suicidal.

The reason I am touched by this is because if people knew about her condition why didnt they seek some sort of psychiatric help (abroad) as I heard she came over here to jand to study for her Masters degree but gave that up shortly after and travelled back to naij, I just dont know oooo

May her soul rest in perfect Peace, Unless we are in her situation we can only talk about our views. We cant really fathom her thoughts and feelings, unless one has been in that position themselves, just pray for her family,

claremont:

Good Point! People don't want to hear the truth as it is, they prefer to find irrational ways of justifying irrationality. Irrespective of whatever the lady's justifications are, committing suicide is totally defeatist, selfish, and achieves nothing in the end. We who are still alive do not do this lady any favours by keeping our mouths shut, we must talk! If we don't talk, more and more ladies in Nigeria will continue to follow this defeatist trend of committing suicide at the slightest whim, it is absolutely disgraceful!

Whether it be defeatist, selfish and non-achieving , u can talk till kingdom comes, but highlighting the act of the deceased doesnt UNDO it, will never undo it, and will NOT stop others from doing it!

YES! I agree committing suicide at every experience of pain in life is wrong, but JUDGE NOT lest ye be judged,

Many people are very fragile emotionally and mentally. They have been born that way. It doesn't show on the face. These problems become apparent during trying emotional issues for example "separation" from a loved one as suffered by the victim here. Many posters here are appalled by it but very vulnerable people like the victim do exist and do stuff because of underlying and undetected mental health issues. Its not about maturity or developing thick skin.

gloriuss:

Whether it be defeatist, selfish and  non-achieving , u can talk till kingdom comes, but highlighting the act of the deceased doesnt UNDO it, will never undo it, and will NOT stop others from doing it!
YES! I agree committing suicide at every experience of pain in life is wrong, but JUDGE NOT lest ye be judged, 

No one is judging anyone here, and even if we do give the impression of judging, our so-called judgment is not in anyway going to affect the capacity of her soul to rest in peace. The reason why we are commenting on this issue is because we are trying to break a fast growing trend of suicides taking hold in Nigeria. Everyone has his/her own sad story to tell, and it will be irrational for all of us to pursue the suicide route. Let's call a spade what it is, rather than talking about judging and not judging. She has herself to blame alone, Nigerian men shouldn't be blamed, ovarian cyst or whatever disease shouldn't also be blamed, the buck stops with her alone! I have no iota of consideration whatsoever for people who commit suicide, my condolences would rather go to her family and friends who have to deal with her selfish actions.

^^READ THE STORY DAYS BACK, LEARNT A HEALTH ISSUE COST HER HER WOMB^^
But shud that have been the end of the world?

Depression is a terrible state of mind as i understand it. Quite close to mental illness and requires the utmost care in terms of medical and family support beyond material things. The person needs to be certain of being loved for who she is without any immediate pressures to live up to society's standards. She should have been taken to a psychiatrist or counselor. What a pity!

claremont:

No one is judging anyone here, and even if we do give the impression of judging, our so-called judgment is not in anyway going to affect the capacity of her soul to rest in peace. The reason why we are commenting on this issue is because we are trying to break a fast growing trend of suicides taking hold in Nigeria. Everyone has his/her own sad story to tell, and it will be irrational for all of us to pursue the suicide route. Let's call a spade what it is, rather than talking about judging and not judging. She has herself to blame alone, Nigerian men shouldn't be blamed, ovarian cyst or whatever disease shouldn't also be blamed, the buck stops with her alone! I have no iota of consideration whatsoever for people who commit suicide, my condolences would rather go to her family and friends who have to deal with her selfish actions.

I very much doubt that broadcasting one's own views of a suicidal act on nairaland will "break a fast growing trend of suicide taking hold in Nigeria", if you TRULY want that outcome of severing suicidal acts then merely sitting behind a computer screen discussing a "selfish" act of suicide will hardly go far,

Or dont you think so love?

OOh lawd!  Let me walk off this thread before I have some premature births. 

You know what! Bleep it. No body on this GOTDAMN thread said anything about that she had any rights to kill her gotdamn self. We are talking about the IGNORANCE AMONGST PEOPLE WHO CLAIMED TO HAVE SOME DAMN SENSE and saying that she is worthless because she couldn't have children due to her health problems.

Some of the MOFO MEN ON THIS GOTDAMN thread said some of the most IGNORANCE SHIT I have ever heard of. So what she killed her mofo self does that justify the bullshit you mofos were saying about those in her gotdamn shoe? No!

Bottom line, she got caught up with a mofo that didn't love her and left because he couldn't handle the pressure from MOFOS LIKE YOU. If they were married and he left her would YOU BE SAYING THE SAME GOTDAMN THING SOME OF YOU MOFOS ARE SPEWING?

I THINK FUCKING NOT!

@thread
women and their DO OR DIE attitude towards marriage. . . . . . . .  when people like her dont value life, she sure got herself a one way ticket to hell!

gloriuss:

I very much doubt that broadcasting one's own views of a suicidal act on nairaland will "break a fast growing trend of suicide taking hold in Nigeria", if you TRULY want that outcome of severing suicidal acts then merely sitting behind a computer screen discussing a "selfish" act of suicide will hardly go far,

Our views expressed on this forum may not fully serve it's intended purpose of breaking the trend of suicides taking hold of Nigeria, but alas, everyone will agree that the views expressed here will help to increase public awareness on the selfishness of the act of suicide. We all know that there can be no justification whatsoever for a young lady/guy to commit suicide, but then, it's their life. The reason why we call their actions selfish is not because we are trying to infringe on their freedom to do whatever they want to do with their life, but rather, it is because her actions will definitely affect her friends and family she left behind. Take it or leave it, but suicides for whatever reason should be denounced, it is un-Nigerian, alien to our culture, defeatist, and immoral.

If you live in Nigeria you'll surely understand better our culture and attitude does not help matters in fact being told you can't have children in Nigeria is like a death sentence.

claremont:

Our views expressed on this forum may not fully serve it's intended purpose of breaking the trend of suicides taking hold of Nigeria, but alas, everyone will agree that the views expressed here will help to increase public awareness on the selfishness of the act of suicide. We all know that there can be no justification whatsoever for a young lady/guy to commit suicide, but then, it's their life. The reason why we call their actions selfish is not because we are trying to infringe on their freedom to do whatever they want to do with their life, but rather, it is because her actions will definitely affect her friends and family she left behind. Take it or leave it, but suicides for whatever reason should be denounced, it is un-Nigerian, alien to our culture, defeatist, and immoral.

sango, yoruba's god of thunder hung himself. that was some thousands of years ago. . . .suicide is not un-nigerian! it's a universal phenomenon.

coogar:

sango, yoruba's god of thunder hung himself. that was some thousands of years ago. . . .suicide is not un-nigerian! it's a universal phenomenon.

Coogar, you again!!!

To all you who keep saying she had no reason to commit suicide, yadi yadi ya I pray to the Almighty God that you shall not be faced with a burden or despair that will push you to taking your own life. You all find it easy to condemn because you are not the one in her shoes, May you not go through pain that will push you to thoughts of suicide,

And to all those who have said that she is going straight to hell, please let me know when you all became a "god". Show me where in the Bible that says "those who commit suicide are going to hell". I am in no way justifying her act but I am saying you all need to think before you speak. Based on your understanding of God and who you consider your maker to be, come to your understanding from there. The same Bible that says do not murder also says do not commit adultery, do not lie, do not bear false witness, do not steal, do not fornicate. And I am so sure a lot of us are guilty of all these other sins but because we feel "my sin is not as bad as this other sin" then we are quick to judge others in other to make ourselves look good.

Also the last time I checked, the only unforgivable sins were denying Christ and blaspheming against the Holy Spirit (even though i am still trying to fully understand what it means to blaspheme against the Holy Spirit). Also, what will you say to those who commit all sorts of abortions?

I know people single out Suicide because the "suicidee" did not have an opportunity to ask for forgiveness and repent. But what makes you think you will know for sure what you will be doing before you die? What of those who have accidents on their way back from committing adultery, or those who get shot with stray bullets after stealing company funds or those who dies in a plane crash after cursing out the air hostess? Does that mean they are going straight to hell too?

I think no one has a right to condemn no one because God's ways are not our ways. You do not know how she lived her life before getting to this point and you do not know what relationship she had with God before getting to this point. THat is so between her and God. Everyone seems to be acting like the people who told Jesus they needed to stone the adulterous woman but Jesus replied and said "he who has no sin should throw the first stone".

Let us all examine our lives and "take heed lest we fall"

^^^

I suspect that you are being unnecessarily emotional, this is not to sound cold, but the lady in question (hopefully she rests in peace) deserves no sympathy!

My heart goes out to her parents and siblings, who probably loved her with all they have and would have to go through the rest of their lives with a mental picture of their daughter and sister hanging on a rope----the reason? her boyfriend jilted her!!!!! what a shame!

From all we know, she lived a comfortable life, her needs were promptly catered for by parents who worked their arses off just to ensure that she got all that she asked for. . . .she probably never had to worry about where her next meal will come from nor where she could lay her head in case it rains, . . . . . . there are several hundred million people around the world without homes nor families to love----she had all these and more, but she took her own life because she couldn't have kids? What a big shame!!!

Life is never fair, everyone has probably or will probably experience their own fair share of depression!!. . even if suicide is not considered a sin by God, it must be considered a sin by man. . .it must be considered a sin by the family she left behind, the pains and agony she'd put them through, their lives will never remain the same again. . .she was a coward and very selfish!

^^^^^ You are also being very emotional, First of all you do not even know her at alllllllllllllll, You have no idea how she lived her life except based on what the media says so you whatever conclusion you make is almost a faulty conclusion, Also it went beyond her boyfriend jilting her, It was that with many other factors, (not excusing the act still)

And the next time you lie or steal or fornicate etc, also note that you are being selfish and cowardly, The same principle applies, I raised my point because I feel people need to be careful when they pass all sorts of judgment, We can never be God and we just hope to live our lives each day like there is no tomorrow,

Rather than castigate her continuously, let us examine our own lives and see this as a wake up call, It could have been anyone, Her story made the media doesn't mean there aren't countless number of Nigerians who have taken their lives at some point for other reasons we might consider baseless,  Let us all just be careful, We are humans and susceptible to falling in ways we never think we will fall

And the next time you lie or steal or fornicate etc, also note that you are being selfish and cowardly, The same principle applies, I raised my point because I feel people need to be careful when they pass all sorts of judgment, We can never be God and we just hope to live our lives each day like there is no tomorrow,

I disagree, the same principle does not apply!

While she couldn't possible feel a thing anymore, free from all emotions and pains. . .her parents, siblings and best friends will have to go through a life of untold pains, inflicted on them by a child, sister and friend they care about, simply because she was having some difficult problems!

The act of selfishness itself comes in when she committed suicide not minding the fact that some people's lives will be thrown in the dark by her singular actions. . . .the only essence of living is actually living for others who themselves have built their lives around us!

Rather than castigate her continuously, let us examine our own lives and see this as a wake up call, It could have been anyone

This is not a wake up call, and there's no reason to re-examine our own lives.  I as well as countless other people have gone through some really difficult times, what kept us going was the fact that we realized that there are people who cared selflessly about us!

It couldn't have been anyone. . .only people who don't care about others who will feel the pains of their demise will take such route!

^^^ That's your opinion, We have to agree to disagree on this one,

It could have been anyone, Only the grace of God keeps us. Remember the words of Paul, "things I don't want to do, I do"

I do not live my life for others. I live my life for God alone

May we not know affliction that will push us to give up on life, Thank Jesus you have not faced it

@elpieda,it seems he/she has really seen dffcult times,ur line of thot makes me scared for u,its more like are indirectly telling nlanders to hep u out wt ur own life issues b4 it also goes out of control,spill it out man,a counsellor may jst b nearby.4
gv me if i read wrong but dats d way u come across 2me

^^^ Just say you do not agree with my line of thought as an intelligent well educated human who went to school should say,

So because I have not followed the crowd by condemning her like a lot of people have done, I am now in need of counseling?So when someone presents a different school of though that goes against what you have always grown up believing, then that person needs therapy

Gosh most Nigerians and the shallow minded, in a little box way they reason, and they wonder why the country is still in shambles,

Elpieda:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think no one has a right to condemn no one because God's ways are not our ways. You do not know how she lived her life before getting to this point and you do not know what relationship she had with God before getting to this point. THat is so between her and God. Everyone seems to be acting like the people who told Jesus they needed to stone the adulterous woman but Jesus replied and said "he who has no sin should throw the first stone".
Let us all examine our lives and "take heed lest we fall"

Exactly my point, God's ways are not our ways, these conceptions of hell and heaven that we are all having here on earth is not what we will see after life. We are only imagining with our human brain and judging and castigating with our human mind.

Suicide bomber enter police HQ,
few days ago honourable enter lagoon,
now na dis fine girl.
who is next?

pareto:

Suicide bomber enter police HQ,
few days ago honourable enter lagoon,
now na dis fine girl.
who is next?

It is only God that can HELP us!!

I'd always felt something odd about this incident as such that I have to conclude there is no one reason for the action. This babe has only brought untold sorrow and hardship on her peers, family members and well-wishers in general. Conflicting stories could be malicious at times like this and only the dead could offer explanations for her deeds. In any case, it is not for we "mortals" to judge but for me, it is totally uncalled for.


Adieu Motunrayo, good nite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!