jeromestarks:

Of course, she's the stupid girl.
At her age I am sure responsible men would have approached her but she turned them away because they don't live a flashy lifestyle.
She foolishly opened her legs for a man who's aim is to deceive women by buying flashy wrist watches, decorating rented apartment, borrowing cars, and using Iphone when in actual sense, he doesn't have a stable income (no future plan).
I pray she commits suicide due to excessive depression and regrets.

This is too much. You're toxic and frustrated. I can sense it in your words.

Jarod247:
I am so distraught right now. 3 years ago, my kid sister who is now 24 years went to Lagos to work.
Well, we spoke to the woman who she was supposed to work with and we all have our consent to it.
Let just say this girl has been an issue . She is the last kid . She is very stubborn but fears me Alot. I couldn't bring her over to stay with me cos I was in school trying to lift my head up. So her leaving to go fend for herself was a relief to me so my mum can rest from her wahala. That woman is suffering and it pains me so much.

While in Lagos,I keep tabs on her and she was doing well . Depsite that she works and earn money, I keep sending her monthly allowance.
As of last month, I sent her some money and we also spoke on phone .

My elder sister called me yesterday that my kid sister called and told her that she gave birth.
That sound like a joke to me cos How?

Well, from the information gathered she actually gave birth to a baby girl all alone at Home. The guy responsible has absconded.

I am battered emotionally with this news . Pregnant for nine months , didn't tell anyone till she has given Birth. What if something has happened to her .

This girl has hurt me walahi. I warned her seriously about getting pregnant. This her action is a threat to my effort to rise financially cos how are we even going to take care of that baby.
The money I earned isn't enough to take care of myself and mum. I know Alot of stuff I have given up just to make sure my mum and siblings are a bit okay including getting married . I am 34 years.
I was even planning on sending her to Uni next year.
Her next destination is going back to the village to stay with my mum, this will put more burden on that woman.
I am yet to speak with her cos I am so angry with her. My elder sister said I shouldn't talk to her angrily hence I trigger a toxic hormone that will affect the baby.

I don't know what to do. Seriously I am devastated. This girl want to kill me . Can't even think straight

from the frying pan into the fire,be ready for another baby because in the village sex if free for all,no checks,no disturbance,no monitoring,plenty of bush chalet everywere

Thonia69:
This is too much. You're toxic and frustrated. I can sense it in your words.

I'm a just man!
I believe in cause and effect.
Do you think the brother don't have sperm that can make baby too? But he decided to keep himself from marrying because he knows he is not there yet.
But the stupid girl ...oh so so stupid, went to enjoy sex because she knew she has a dump and idiotic brother who will clean up her mess.

jeromestarks:

I'm a just man!
I believe in cause and effect.
Do you think the brother don't have sperm that can make baby too? But he decided to keep himself from marrying because he knows he is not there yet.
But the stupid girl ...oh so so stupid, went to enjoy sex because she knew she has a dump and idiotic brother who will clean up her mess.

I also believe in cause and effect. But your last sentence was just too much.

Jarod247:
I am so distraught right now. 3 years ago, my kid sister who is now 24 years went to Lagos to work.
Well, we spoke to the woman who she was supposed to work with and we all have our consent to it.
Let just say this girl has been an issue . She is the last kid . She is very stubborn but fears me Alot. I couldn't bring her over to stay with me cos I was in school trying to lift my head up. So her leaving to go fend for herself was a relief to me so my mum can rest from her wahala. That woman is suffering and it pains me so much.

While in Lagos,I keep tabs on her and she was doing well . Depsite that she works and earn money, I keep sending her monthly allowance.
As of last month, I sent her some money and we also spoke on phone .

My elder sister called me yesterday that my kid sister called and told her that she gave birth.
That sound like a joke to me cos How?

Well, from the information gathered she actually gave birth to a baby girl all alone at Home. The guy responsible has absconded.

I am battered emotionally with this news . Pregnant for nine months , didn't tell anyone till she has given Birth. What if something has happened to her .

This girl has hurt me walahi. I warned her seriously about getting pregnant. This her action is a threat to my effort to rise financially cos how are we even going to take care of that baby.
The money I earned isn't enough to take care of myself and mum. I know Alot of stuff I have given up just to make sure my mum and siblings are a bit okay including getting married . I am 34 years.
I was even planning on sending her to Uni next year.
Her next destination is going back to the village to stay with my mum, this will put more burden on that woman.
I am yet to speak with her cos I am so angry with her. My elder sister said I shouldn't talk to her angrily hence I trigger a toxic hormone that will affect the baby.

I don't know what to do. Seriously I am devastated. This girl want to kill me . Can't even think straight

Dont allow another person life stop you from achieving your goals and dreams in life, that the life your kid sister chose for her self so let her live it to her fullest, if you die today your kid sister will live better

Jarod247:
I am so distraught right now. 3 years ago, my kid sister who is now 24 years went to Lagos to work.
Well, we spoke to the woman who she was supposed to work with and we all have our consent to it.
Let just say this girl has been an issue . She is the last kid . She is very stubborn but fears me Alot. I couldn't bring her over to stay with me cos I was in school trying to lift my head up. So her leaving to go fend for herself was a relief to me so my mum can rest from her wahala. That woman is suffering and it pains me so much.

While in Lagos,I keep tabs on her and she was doing well . Depsite that she works and earn money, I keep sending her monthly allowance.
As of last month, I sent her some money and we also spoke on phone .

My elder sister called me yesterday that my kid sister called and told her that she gave birth.
That sound like a joke to me cos How?

Well, from the information gathered she actually gave birth to a baby girl all alone at Home. The guy responsible has absconded.

I am battered emotionally with this news . Pregnant for nine months , didn't tell anyone till she has given Birth. What if something has happened to her .

This girl has hurt me walahi. I warned her seriously about getting pregnant. This her action is a threat to my effort to rise financially cos how are we even going to take care of that baby.
The money I earned isn't enough to take care of myself and mum. I know Alot of stuff I have given up just to make sure my mum and siblings are a bit okay including getting married . I am 34 years.
I was even planning on sending her to Uni next year.
Her next destination is going back to the village to stay with my mum, this will put more burden on that woman.
I am yet to speak with her cos I am so angry with her. My elder sister said I shouldn't talk to her angrily hence I trigger a toxic hormone that will affect the baby.

I don't know what to do. Seriously I am devastated. This girl want to kill me . Can't even think straight

She is of age you should have expected it anytime soon

24yrs old girl would take agree 90 percent to be a single mother because she believes time is clocking for her I guess she wasn't seeing good partner...


Anyway you have to caution not to have another baby for now .....100 percent chance she would again...

As guy man wey get 2 sisters above 20, this story dey worry me gan.

I can't just imagine...

virginprincess:
Oga the deal has be done no need to cry over spilt milk,you people should just take care of her so she can recover,but so men are damn heartless and wicked,how can you abadon a child that belong to you,that why i always advice my fellow girls to mind the kind of guys they date.

Must you always blame men? Na rape dem rape am nii?

Nyascobar1414:


Must you always blame men? Na rape dem rape am nii?

Old papa, shut up and go and pass jamb before attacking anyone wey dey this forum. Gay drop out.

okoroemeka:
from the frying pan into the fire,be ready for another baby because in the village sex if free for all,no checks,no disturbance,no monitoring,plenty of bush chalet everywere

The question is even how to prevent her from having another baby and dumping on their mother who will not deny her grandchildren, once they start this way the tendency to have more babies for different men is high.
So he should focus on building his own life and face reality that it will be hard to redeem her situation

Nyascobar1414:


Must you always blame men? Na rape dem rape am nii?

Oga where did you see rape in my comment,and why won't i blame the idiotic man if he had man up to his responsibity and took care of the baby i sure op would not had open a thread on behalf of his sister.

ok but....are you truly a virgin??

virginprincess:
Oga where did you see rape in my comment,and why won't i blame the idiotic man if he had man up to his responsibity and took care of the baby i sure op would not had open a thread on behalf of his sister.

OP your immediate responsibility should be your beloved mother and any other younger siblings that have sense.
you are 34, start living 4 yourself, don't make the mistake of bringing that child 2 ur old mum 2 take care of, if you do, ur sister go born again since she knows she has a place she can go dump the baby, allow her 2 feel d consequences of her actions by raising the child, support her when ever you can. keep her nd her child away from your poor old mum, she needs rest now nd not d rigours of babysitting a newborn.
also start planning 2 get married, nobody has all the money they need all at hand, God will open new doors4 u as you go.

virginprincess:
Oga where did you see rape in my comment,and why won't i blame the idiotic man if he had man up to his responsibity and took care of the baby i sure op would not had open a thread on behalf of his sister.

why are you blaming the man for the girl's bad actions? Abi condom no dey?
Abi didn't she know that the guy is irresponsible to father a child...

A man never wife her and she dey open leg like court case..

Let her be accountable for her actions.. She knew all these, but the fishy bra!n thingy no gree am to sabi body...

Peace!

jeromestarks:

I'm a just man!
I believe in cause and effect.
Do you think the brother don't have sperm that can make baby too? But he decided to keep himself from marrying because he knows he is not there yet.
But the stupid girl ...oh so so stupid, went to enjoy sex because she knew she has a dump and idiotic brother who will clean up her mess.

Your words are harsh but I get where you are coming from.

I read the post and I've been trying to empathise with Op; imagining what I would do if I were in his shoes.

Honestly, folks saying he should contribute to his sister's welfare in this predicament are being unfair because such would still impede the Op from achieving his personal goals.

If it's me, I guess I'll just clock out, behave as if she doesn't exist, give zero bleeps about what ever happens to her and continue to live my life.

Haba!

Nyascobar1414:


why are you blaming the man for the girl's bad actions? Abi condom no dey?
Abi didn't she know that the guy is irresponsible to father a child...

A man never wife her and she dey open leg like court case..

Let her be accountable for her actions.. She knew all these, but the fishy bra!n thingy no gree am to sabi body...

Peace!

Virginprincess no mind this mumu o. Na homosexual wey dey find boyfriend for this forum. Na drop out and very old..like 48 years of age.

I don’t like to advice young people of nowadays even if am still a young guy most of them do what they want. They only listen when in trouble.

Persephone1:
In as much as i cherish family and would do anything for them, one thing i will never support is a family member being avoidable burden to another. Even though Relatives are knitted, one can not and should not neglect the individuality of the group and one's comfort shouldn't be overstretched in form of sacrifice.

Your sister made her decision , please dont return her to the village. If at all you will let her be far from your mother. Your mother needs her peace of mind. Rent a cheap house for her, you and other capable sibling can contribute monthly stipend for her till she finds her feet financially. She wants to be independent, give her that. But let her know your help is for a while. God is her strength

Honestly think the bold is unfair to the Op as it'll impede his growth and given that he has been contributing to her welfare before.

The said sister comes across as someone that doesn't have sense or want better for her life so doing such might enable her excesses.

If it's me, I'll act as if she doesn't exist: let her sort herself.

Some situations require extremism.

Raalsalghul:


Your words are harsh but I get where you are coming from.

I read the post and I've been trying to empathise with Op; imagining what I would do if I were in his shoes.

Honestly, folks saying he should contribute to his sister's welfare in this predicament are being unfair because such would still impede the Op from achieveing his personal objectives.

If it's me, I guess I'll just clock out, behave as if she doesn't exist, give zero bleeps about what ever happens to her and continue to live my life.

Haba!

Exactly.

Jarod247:
I am so distraught right now. 3 years ago, my kid sister who is now 24 years went to Lagos to work.
Well, we spoke to the woman who she was supposed to work with and we all have our consent to it.
Let just say this girl has been an issue . She is the last kid . She is very stubborn but fears me Alot. I couldn't bring her over to stay with me cos I was in school trying to lift my head up. So her leaving to go fend for herself was a relief to me so my mum can rest from her wahala. That woman is suffering and it pains me so much.


I don't know what to do. Seriously I am devastated. This girl want to kill me . Can't even think straight

See, I have to be very honest with you o. You should let her sort her life by herself. The last thing you should do as a man is stalling your progress for an irresponsible person. Let me paraphrase for you: Never take responsibility or become responsible for an irresponsible person. Your sister is very irresponsible, and she should be allowed to sort herself out. You could have done so if you were financially buoyant, but as it is, such is not possible.

Most importantly, you are a man in your mid-30s while she is a woman in her mid-20s. She can get a sugar daddy or man willing to marry her or do high-class hook-up esp if she is beautiful, package and advertise herself very well. On the other hand, you are a 34-year-old man who is yet to establish himself strongly. As a man, you are judged by your financial power not by brawn or the pen!s in between your legs. I bet you that if your sister enters the hook-up industry in Lagos as a fine lady, she would make so much money and become well respected in your family than you. That is the reason you should focus squarely on your financial upliftment. This is because should you become responsible for an irresponsible lady, you would regret it as such a lady can still do hook-up and later become very ungrateful. So, it is better you allow her to sort it herself so that when she becomes a five-star general on Codedruns, you would be at rest that your efforts were not wasted.

Again, never become responsible for an irresponsible person. Allow irresponsible people to face the consequences of their irresponsibility. Remember, she is an adult, and you warned her.

Stargangz:
I feel ur pain but if na me o I go disown her completely, and if my mum try to accomodate her with that her bastard child then it's over between me and my mom for life. Bros no go get high blood pressure o, enter beer palour and take some bottles of beer and light ur kpoli to take am dey reason, dis life is too sweet to die ontop another person matter wey no send u. Ire o!

easier said than done...what if the child turns out to be a bright star in the future? You would remember she was your niece then right Omo blood is thicker than water.

24 is an adult
Shes not handicapped, the work you are doing to earn money, she can do it to earrn money

She is responsible for the child she brought to the world not anyome else. This is why im in support of abortion, this mother and child would haave died alone at home when shess giving birth if not for luck thaat she has.

At 24, i wass doing business to support myself, she can too

Ewwww op so sorry!!!

[quote author=Jarod247 post=115545706

I am 34 years.
I was even planning on sending her to Uni next year.
Her next destination is going back to the village to stay with my mum, this will put more burden on that woman.
I am yet to speak with her cos I am so angry with her. My elder sister said I shouldn't talk to her angrily hence I trigger a toxic hormone that will affect the baby.

I don't know what to do. Seriously I am devastated. This girl want to kill me . Can't even think straight[/quote]

You are in your 30s mister, unmarried and still trying to sort your life.
I think you need personal investment first. I think you are a good man, highly empathic and family oriented one but you got this prodigal niece pulling you and your family back. I also think that your sister (her mother) also contribute to this mess. She has cautioned you not to go ballistic on your niece.

Focus on yourself and your mother who is in the village.

WARN your sister and your troublesome niece not to go to the village to bother your mother. It’s time she grew up and take responsibility. If you give her a soft landing, she’ll bless your family with another baby from a different man in about one year.

She has been like this…high libido, risky behaviour, stupid and impetuous. People like this learn in a hard way. Allow her to sort herself out. She’s a sucker for ‘fine young’ useless idiot men right from the village. She’ll never stop if you keep rescuing her from her bad and risky behaviours.


Make sure she doesn’t go the village to add to your mother’s problem.

Hmmm Bros take it like a man , it has happened and it has happened.
Your only mistake is that you didn't warn her about jazzed agbado. Maybe also you never knew that some people from that side of the country sometimes use jazzed agbado confuse small girls, only to give belle and brag that he is now a baby dada

virginprincess:
Oga the deal has be done no need to cry over spilt milk,you people should just take care of her so she can recover,but so men are damn heartless and wicked,how can you abadon a child that belong to you,that why i always advice my fellow girls to mind the kind of guys they date.

The result of dating an handsome bad boi. Women no dey get sense.

gfon:
easier said than done...what if the child turns out to be a bright star in the future? You would remember she was your niece then right Omo blood is thicker than water.

Typical Nigerian mentality: you can never find them in the same room with logic.

What if the child becomes this or becomes that...

Honestly who cares if the child is the next Elon Musk.

Should the Op stall his life because of that?

OP you sister is 24 years, she is a fully grown woman, you can only advise as an adult so stop trying to make her do your will, even if she is dependent on you financially. Why are you stressing? what's done is done your role now is to continue to support and if there are lessons to be learnt be assured she has learnt them.
As they say experience is best teacher, if you had advised her to not rush into sex with boyfriends, because the boy would run if she became pregnant, her stubbornness would probably never allow her to heed your advice.

So no need to try scolding her like an angry parent or expressing disappointment because she already knows you would be disappointed, just talk to her to find the best way she wants to be supported.
You are an new uncle and that is a wonderful thing who knows if the baby grows up to become a dollar billionaire one day.

Congratulate your sister and ask her how you can best be of support to her.

Be warned don't send. Her tto the. Village

.. let her suffer... If. U do send. Her. To the. Village... Sh will later abandoned. The xhhild and go for. Another pregnancy....

U ful family should seize to show her love and abandoned. Her,. Mother's can never abandoned thier. Child.. so sh will beg ppl and friends to feed and fend for the child.. if. Her eyes see shege... Sh would. Fear guyz next time

I wonder how people reason knowing fully how they leave their home and after they get freedom they start doing what will affect their future. I witness many of this in my oou days.

Raalsalghul:


Typical Nigerian mentality: you can never find them in the same room with logic.

What if the child becomes this or becomes that...

Honestly who cares if the child is the next Elon Musk.

Should the Op stall his life because of that?

would you abandon her if she was your sis? Just be honest. If with the fuvk ups most people have had and their parents abandoned them,they wouldn't have turned out good the way some are.

She has not asked you for anything. It's best to thank God for that child. If you know how many married women are searching for "fruit of the womb" in their 30's and beyond... hehn. Be glad but encourage her not to have any more, that she cannot financially cater for.