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Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by Nobody: 4:34pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
folake4u:I borrowed it from Maggie. . Since the day i read it it got stuck. 😂😂😂😂 |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by folake4u(f): 4:42pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
Persephone1: I've been rolling on my bed with fits of laughter. 😂😂😂😂 I don adopt am too. 1 Like |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by bukatyne(f): 5:30pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
Klass99: 1. Why was he late? No vex on behalf of my fellow late comer (Though he did not seem sorry. Is he a Christian? If yes, did his Bible tell him that patience is expected from only one gender? ) 2. Abeg cook the tasty porridge joor. Watch this clip to ginger you: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CspGHBmIdHQ/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng== 3. 😄 🤣 😂 😆 😄 🤣 😂 😆 😄 |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by bukatyne(f): 5:34pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
folake4u: I would check it out, thanks. Generalizing cloth colour, Winnie is on her own. @Crocs: have no opinion really, never had one. I have neven thought of its elegance or lack of. |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by bukatyne(f): 5:45pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
folake4u: I should have put the disrespect in quotes to show that it is just their trauma playing out. I am not shocked; served in Akwa Ibom and saw ladies driving bikes about. The women farm and care for the crops then the men harvest, sell and keep the money. Those not into farming, the women go to their business place while the men sit at home and buy fresh goatmeat with palm wine waiting for the wife to return and cook. A lady was dating a fellow corper and she would cook with her money, bring the food to our lodge and sleep with the guy. I wondered what exactly she was gaining in the 'situationship' considering it is not a case of 'let me assist my man while he stands on his feet'. Their women were so muscular! Would carry two white paint buckets stacked on each other uphill a stream while the boys were playing at home. Same thing applicable in parts of Cross River. When they say their women f.uck and feed their men, it is no joke. I hailed my Yoruba brothers after that. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by Klass99(f): 5:48pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
1 Like |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by Nobody: 5:54pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
[quote author=bukatyne post=123531104] A. Why? People take classes on business, faith, culinary classes, handiwork etc. I think more women should take femininity classes. We all can't have the same opinion. I feel it's not necessary. (correct ones o! Not sit like this, do neck like this, money is the only thing a man needs to have, don’t wear this colour classes).Please I need an example of 'correct ones'. We have too many masculine women dressed in feminine bodies. Men also need classes on masculinity so we do not make the age long mistake of training on sex (especially the female) on relationship matters; it takes two to tango. 1. Look at Folak.e4u's chart on the previous page. Also note that this discussion is geared towards relationships/marriage. Okay, I don't things to say on it. 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 @ things are changing now. There are a lot of coaches now in that area. 2. Thank you.You're welcome. 😊 |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by cococandy(f): 5:56pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
bukatyne: This is nairaland rhetoric. It’s not a thing. It doesn’t exist. |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by bukatyne(f): 6:02pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
Klass99: 1. OK, Nigerian Christian, I get 2. Just watch it. It is not about yam porridge. 1 Like |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by PrimadonnaO(f): 6:05pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
bukatyne: Lol I'm lost myself. Concepts can get really confusing. Now I've been thrown into a state where I'm critically assessing my femininity. All I know is that I'm a woman who wants to always be a woman in all the lifetimes available. Am I soft and demure? Do I speak with a soft, caressing voice? Lol It's so funny to imagine, please. I guess a man will have to answer on my behalf. Ultimately, it would seem as though women are being taught to conform to a new standard . It happens every decade. Perhaps we're leaving the age of feminism... to femininity. |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by cococandy(f): 6:14pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
bukatyne: At bold. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t see where you are coming from with that. That’s why when a Nigerian woman says she wants/supports strict traditional roles in her marriage, I don’t judge as long as she’s not in denial as to why any other method won’t work. The reason being that the men will not want to do the responsibilities of being the leader but will want to jump in when it’s time to reap the benefits. So I get it. However, “lead in his masculine and follow in her feminine” are part of the new buzzwords making the go round nowadays which when dissected usually doesn’t come down to much except let him provide money and call all the shots while she takes care of the home. It may not be what you mean by it but ask the people who 100% agree with that and you’ll (maybe) be surprised that’s what they understand by home leadership and followership. So no I don’t think that applies to all homes. If the woman is the better leader, the man would do well to defer to her and vice versa. In addition to what you’ve seen happening over and over again (which I don’t disagree with BTW) I have also seen homes where the woman who was clearly a better leader decided to let the man lead because that’s what she was expected to do and the man led them to ruins. Many dysfunctional homes today are not that way because the woman was leading. They are that way because the man was leading. Chromosomes do not determine leadership qualities. The only reason why some female led homes run into issues is because outsiders feel the need to tell them what to do, mock them, and put pressure on them to conform to traditions. I think it’s best for couples to determine what works for them as they grow and age together. Then, apply it to their relationship regardless of what people think they should be doing. Like I usually add, as long as it’s fair and no one is carrying a larger burden all the time, it’s golden. 👌🏽 7 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by bukatyne(f): 6:18pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
[quote author=Nia69 post=123533971][/quote] This your quoting pattern na wa. Correct ones, just two or three I know . I would drop their handles here. Though I have never attended any of their private classes. 1. https://instagram.com/thefemmeguide?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== 2. https://instagram.com/petiteandfeminine.ng?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== 3. https://instagram.com/afrofemininemuse?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== 1. General femininity, using it to win at work, life & relationship. Think levelling up. I think Black American 2. Target audience is single Christian women looking for godly masculine men. Nigerian 3. Target audience is wives in troubled marriages trying to turn things around. A firm advocate of 100% providing husbands. Kenyan. |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by Klass99(f): 6:22pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
1 Like 1 Share |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by cococandy(f): 6:23pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
On the topic of learning how to be feminine. Young ladies please make sure to ask yourself why do you want to go through the trouble of doing it instead of just being yourself? Is it to attract a man or to remain attractive to the one you’re already with? To a lot of our men, (I’m sorry I have to burst some bubbles with this one) but a feminine woman is light skin with big butt. Don’t kill your self abeg. It’s just what it is. 6 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by Nobody: 6:23pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
bukatyne:@Bolded 😂😂 I just wanted to make things clear so there won't be confusion. Okay, thank you for listing them. |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by bukatyne(f): 6:26pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
Hathor5: Depends on what you want to learn. My previous post (just two posts prior) lists three femininity coaches targeting three different areas. You could learn how to carry yourself better, nurture your femininity, relate with your husband to get better results aka to be more masculine, choose a masculine man, use your femininity to win at work etc. etc. |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by bukatyne(f): 6:28pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
Klass99: The day I watched it ehn! It was like all the food he was calling should appear in front of me. Chai! He is the real foodie foodie. You heard him: e ma jenu daada |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by bukatyne(f): 6:32pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
Nia69: You are welcome. I ought to charge you for this list . I gather some IG vendors charge for their plug list. |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by Nobody: 6:37pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
bukatyne:Guess I'm lucky. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by bukatyne(f): 6:42pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
folake4u: 1. If a young man had a working woman around him, he wouldn't think like that. It just tells me about your background. 2. Traditional men are bae. Funnily, I used to see myself & husband as nontraditional till I said seeing these crop of feminine men. A. Cool, God bless them. D. Nothing is as easy as asserting yourself while feminine. And people would sharperly comply. 5. Pele, can be so stressful. And they actually get to enjoy you when in your feminine because you are relaxed and thinking 'what can I do to make you happy '? |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by bukatyne(f): 6:44pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
Klass99: 'A yam stronger than a woman no bi by mouth'. |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by bukatyne(f): 6:45pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
cococandy: I don't make my 'conclusions' on western concepts from Nairaland. |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by cococandy(f): 6:46pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
bukatyne: To me that’s still a bit vague. How specifically is someone going to nurture their femininity? It is by only wearing certain styles of clothing? Only speaking in certain ways? recalibrating their body language? 1 Like |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by bukatyne(f): 6:48pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
PrimadonnaO: @bold: 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 so funny. Oya ask the men beside you let's measure your femininity on a scale. |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by cococandy(f): 6:55pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
bukatyne:Okay. Western in this conversation refers to America and Europe etc right? Do you sincerely believe all these countries who are doing better by worldly metrics lack manly men? Also what does that even mean and why is it a bad thing? Because the only time I hear internet (NL and Reddit) people complaining of feminization of men, is when they are asked to respect women as they would like to be respected which makes me look at them and wonder why they think that’s a weakness.
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Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by PrimadonnaO(f): 7:05pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
bukatyne: LOL After asking each of them what femininity means to them, abi? Too much wahalurr! |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by bukatyne(f): 7:21pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
cococandy: 1. Great 2& 3. While I agree they might be new buzzwords, the application has been from long past. I agree with you that what the average person hears with that tagline is what you described: husband major provider and call the shots; wife major homemaker then sprinkle in the allowance for the husband to do what he likes because he pays the piper. When I talk of leadership, I am talking of setting the tone of the relationship/marriage and the wife aligning with it. It is husband's duty to lead spiritually, protect his home (wife and children from internal & external intruders) provide financially (might not be a sole provider especially if you both met young), emotionally, mentally, be very involved in child training (Biblically the bulk even lies on him because he is called to train his household and instructed not to frustrate his children), provide an identity for the family, have the family vision and be capable of leading them there, ensure his children are confident because he has a healthy relationship with them (training/discipline/emotional support/guidance etc.). Nowhere has the man been the sole decision maker; even the Bible says one would chase 1,000 and two would chase 10,000. However, as the leader, the buck stops at his table when there is conflict of opinions and they both have 'superior argument'. That is one of the reasons he must be led by God. He can lead them to God in prayers, decide to go with his wife's suggestion, win his wife over to his side, or bridge both suggestions into a new one althogether. Ideally, such situations should not be common because they should be of one mind. The wife's alignment is supporting the husband in the shared family vision. For instance, if the husband believes the children should be beaten for code red offences and the wife doesn't, they should have the discussion. If the husband for instance beats the child when he/she does something considered code red, the wife (as tempting as it may be) shouldn't let the child feel it is a 'daddy's thing'. It is their punishment while she re-tables the matter. The wife would also use her gifts on supporting the husband to achieve their goal. For instance, she might be better in book keeping, she should be delegated to run the home finance; she might be the better holiday planner, she can handle that etc. Also, I believe there are male and female chores. Things like plumbing, repairs, maintenance, yard work, representation of the family outside like compound meetings etc should be handled by the husband. Things like home keeping is the wife's forte while the daily chores (laundry, cleaning, child care, cooking daily meals, homework etc) should be handled by both of them according to availability, capability and outsourcing. 4. It think my point about elaborates what I mean by leading and why I think a man should do it. Even if a man did not learn how to lead from home, he can learn from his local church, masculinity schools and the likes. A woman who wants to lead or has to lead is better off single (I call them married but living single). 5. As the marriage grows, I believe routine changes even if the core is the same. Gosh! I have written an epistle. 1 Like |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by bukatyne(f): 7:33pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
cococandy: I believe I have stated earlier that I am not concerned about femininity and femininity coaches who think ALL women should become robots to fit a mold; they are ofeges (aka fake). Nurturing your feminine energy starts with taking care of yourself. Pampering your self, indulge in good, soft music (for instance when I watch Toni Braxton's Spanish Guitar), I feel like the guitar after a while. Imagine me playing that after I have used my bodyscrub, rubbed olive oil over myself lightly and just laying nude on my bed. Soft life, no gra gra. While, there is no universal way to act, there is feminine and masculine carriage. The thing that makes you see someone afar off and guess it is a woman coming; ditto a man. Again, femininity might need 'Nurturing' when you work in a masculine environment. Imagine a lady who climbs towers to install masts; she would pick up masculine vibes, Channel her masculine energy in relating to people around her. She needs to remind her soul that it is feminine when she gets home. And yes, there is a feminine way to talk. Not tone/pitch or whispering; it is by conjuction of sentences. That's why you read some people's posts here and assume they are male or female especially when they don't have the label. For instance, ladies calling themselves b!tches, baddies, guys, talking like agberos etc is unbecoming. Some masculine, some an outright insult to sensibilities. 1 Like |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by bukatyne(f): 7:34pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
PrimadonnaO: Which wahalurr? Just give them pen and paper and 50 mins to answer the questions |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by cococandy(f): 7:47pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
Okay. I definitely rock with the self care angle. Although I don’t think it’s gender specific. I take my husband along with me to self care sessions. Couples Massages with hot stones and aromatherapy. Manicure pedicure. Facials. Freshness is a must bukatyne: |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by bukatyne(f): 7:50pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
cococandy: 1. Doing better by worldly metrics is a function of systems which were created by stronger men and they are on a steady decline. 2. Lack of masculine men and feminine women leads to dearth in marriages/home which spills to the society and it is only a matter of time before it collapses. Nigeria is a good example. Due the dearth of masculine men and godly men, the women carrying the families for ages have said no more and our family system has collapsed which has lead to collapse in the society. That's why a 24 year old boy would connive with his mother to use his sister for rituals; that's why a 19 year old boy would buy Benz that his generation if sold cannot afford and he would be celebrated; that's why ritual money and yahoo yahoo is on the rise, a mother would take her sons to learn Yahoo Yahoo. That is we have a number of girls willing to sell their bodies for Iphone 14 and boys changing girls like someone changing underwears. A video of underaged boys booking girls in hotel was floating some weeks back. Imagine while growing up, which boy wouls leave his father's house and lodge a girl old enough to be his sister in a hotel? Even if he is mad to do so, which girl would cheapen herself to sleep with someone she should be backing for money? And which hotel would lodge such abnormality instead of calling their parents to pick them? The collapse of each society would be different; the West have their own problems with LGBTQ~, transgender madness, the length men go to outsmart their wives and keep their wealth, some ridiculous rulings etc. 3. A masculine man is secure in himself and has no qualms respecting a lady deserving of respect. Because he is a brand, he would also pick a respectable lady as his spouse/partner. Even throwing tantrums when told to respect women or treat them according to the way they want to be treated is a sign of a feminine man or a wounded masculine man. |
Re: The Pinkpill Roundtable Discussion by cococandy(f): 7:50pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
Or she can be with a man who’s okay with it 🤷🏽♀️ because marriage is unique to each couple and we can’t tell them it has to be a certain way that we prefer. bukatyne: 3 Likes |
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