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Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum - Family (7) - Nairaland

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Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by Panelbeater(m): 6:35pm On Aug 29, 2022
All I see is a conspiracy between your wife and your mother against you. How I wish I could tell you some gist one one. When it comes to women and their Mum, no loose guard, dem be cult.
Nothing stops your wife from telling her Mum to be patient till next week Wednesday. Conspiracy and gossip can’t let them wait to see the god mother leave.
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by mariahAngel(f): 7:26pm On Aug 29, 2022
UncleDaddy2017:
My wife recently put to bed our first child. While at the hospital, it's been my wife's godmother who travelled down from another state specifically to be with my wife. Infact, she came straight to the hospital and she has been the one sleeping there with her at night. While I stay with her by day. When am at the hospital to relieve her, she goes to our house to sleep.

My wife's mom and my mom (both live few streets away from ours) do come to the hospital during the day ... So fast forward to yesterday Sunday.

My mother-in-law told my wife she will come after church... Hours after church closed we still didn't see her. Only for her to show up with a big traveling bag. And she knew quite well that my wife's godmother put up at our house.

My house is a one bedroom apartment.

When she came, I asked my wife that now that her mom is here, how will all of us sleep in this house as my wife, our baby and the godmother will sleep in the room, while I stay in the sitting room. She became angry and said they will all stay in the room. But that if I don't want her mom to stay in the house, she will just tell her to go away.

So I told her that the proper thing to do is tell her mom to wait till Wednesday when the godmother lives, then she can come. Besides her house is only few streets away. She can be coming during the day and go back home.

So this night now, the mom has bathed and has gone to stay in the room. The godmother who's now feeling sleepy, had to stay in the living room as she can't go to the room bc her mom is there. Me on the other hand, can't sleep in the living room bc her godmother is in the sitting room.... So I sat at the veranda until 11pm. The cloth I had on was the one I wore since morning. I can't go to the room to change as the mom is there. Neither the living room bc the other woman is there.

My wife later came to me outside and was annoyed that I dont welcome her mother in my house.

Do you think I'm wrong to have told my wife to tell her to wait till Wednesday before she comes?

NB: my mother inlaw and I, live like mother and son until she came yesterday Sunday.

Who invited the godmother to come in the first place, knowing fully well that her goddaughter's mother lives only a few streets away?

It wasn't in her place to come (unless invited), when she knows your wife's mother lives close to her.
Maybe your mother in-law never planned to stay with you guys in the first place, but to only come around, help then leave since she lives close by, but since godmother went too forward to come all the way from another state, knowing your wife's mother and her mother in-law live close by, your wife's mother has decided to send her a strong message by packing her bags to come live with you people. To take her place.

Imagine her daughter's first child, and another woman came all the way from another state to come take her place; what do you expect people living around her to say about her? That another woman is taking care of her daughter who just gave birth, while she just visits?

I'd advise you stay out of it, let them sort the issue themselves.
By the time godmother gets the message, she'll understand that she's done enough and it's time for her to leave.
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by baralatie(m): 7:26pm On Aug 29, 2022
Panelbeater:
All I see is a conspiracy between your wife and your mother against you. How I wish I could tell you some gist one one. When it comes to women and their Mum, no loose guard, dem be cult.
Nothing stops your wife from telling her Mum to be patient till next week Wednesday. Conspiracy and gossip can’t let them wait to see the god mother leave.
Meaning all he had to do was just marry all of them in the house!
Him just go manage somewhere
All the women go settle there matter
Nothing consign am for who stay and who leave
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by mariahAngel(f): 7:34pm On Aug 29, 2022
Rozross:
Some people are not just reasonable, were you supposed to tell your mother-in-law on what to do in this type of situation? Let her leave till your wife’s godmother is gone since she’s just staying for few days. Dem no even pity you sef

Unless invited, it wasn't right of the godmother to come, knowing fully well her goddaughter's mother and her mother-in-law both live close to her.
It was too forward of her (if not invited).

Imagine your daughter having her first child, and another woman comes to take your place, When you're capable of taking care of her yourself; it would not speak well of the woman if she allows it.
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by Dshocker(m): 8:12pm On Aug 29, 2022
UncleDaddy2017:
My wife recently put to bed our first child. While at the hospital, it's been my wife's godmother who travelled down from another state specifically to be with my wife. Infact, she came straight to the hospital and she has been the one sleeping there with her at night. While I stay with her by day. When am at the hospital to relieve her, she goes to our house to sleep.

My wife's mom and my mom (both live few streets away from ours) do come to the hospital during the day ... So fast forward to yesterday Sunday.

My mother-in-law told my wife she will come after church... Hours after church closed we still didn't see her. Only for her to show up with a big traveling bag. And she knew quite well that my wife's godmother put up at our house.

My house is a one bedroom apartment.

When she came, I asked my wife that now that her mom is here, how will all of us sleep in this house as my wife, our baby and the godmother will sleep in the room, while I stay in the sitting room. She became angry and said they will all stay in the room. But that if I don't want her mom to stay in the house, she will just tell her to go away.

So I told her that the proper thing to do is tell her mom to wait till Wednesday when the godmother lives, then she can come. Besides her house is only few streets away. She can be coming during the day and go back home.

So this night now, the mom has bathed and has gone to stay in the room. The godmother who's now feeling sleepy, had to stay in the living room as she can't go to the room bc her mom is there. Me on the other hand, can't sleep in the living room bc her godmother is in the sitting room.... So I sat at the veranda until 11pm. The cloth I had on was the one I wore since morning. I can't go to the room to change as the mom is there. Neither the living room bc the other woman is there.

My wife later came to me outside and was annoyed that I dont welcome her mother in my house.

Do you think I'm wrong to have told my wife to tell her to wait till Wednesday before she comes?

NB: my mother inlaw and I, live like mother and son until she came yesterday Sunday.


I don't wanna mix words, but i think the so called god mother has to leave...
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by samwash(m): 8:15pm On Aug 29, 2022
This op, nor kwn say him na family man now, in Africa, your immediate family is not only your family members, you have to give room for extended or even family friends to accommodate them.
The OP should have kwn better,this is planning, common sense, as his wife is pregnant, he suppose look for a bigger apartment because event like this are bound to happen after delivery.
They just have to manage, you can't take away the mother's pride, which every mothers is looking forward to bath their grand children.
What if the guys mother come join the party how them go do?
Oga op, try up grade to a more spacious apartment,God go help you & bless your hustle. We kwn say it's not easy but try.
Sorry to say, at this nairaland junction, let the godmother take her leave.
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by mariahAngel(f): 8:23pm On Aug 29, 2022
samwash:
This op, nor kwn say him na family man now, in Africa, your immediate family is not only your family members, you have to give room for extended or even family friends to accommodate them.
The OP should have kwn better,this is planning, common sense, as his wife is pregnant, he suppose look for a bigger apartment because event like this are bound to happen after delivery.
They just have to manage, you can't take away the mother's pride, which every mothers is looking forward to bath their grand children.
What if the guys mother come join the party how them go do?
Oga op, try up grade to a more spacious apartment,God go help you & bless your hustle. We kwn say it's not easy but try.
Sorry to say, at this nairaland junction, let the godmother take her leave.

If the money no come dey nko? Op no go do pass himself naa.
Laslas, both mother-in-law o, and godmother o, everybody go your house!
Make op take care of him wife.
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by ezugegere(m): 9:00pm On Aug 29, 2022
None of them has to come and stay in your house. Let them both go back to where they came from.
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by Stevechigo: 9:09pm On Aug 29, 2022
You've said it all. cool


The mother that lives across the street yet a godmother was the one sleeping in the hospital on behalf of the wife.And to think she came all the way from another state.

I want to know why won't she listen to her husband?Or she blind not to see dude is not sleeping well in his own house?And that taking his bath to relax will be a big challenge as regards inconveniences?

Wife wey get sense, will inform the mother of the husband's suggestions and stand with her husband since he begged for a few days to resolve the issue.

There's no problem here, except for two unreasonable entitled women who share same maternal mental inconsistencies.

As a matter of fact, MIL in any marriage is an intruder.Many of these woman are ready to run down their daughters home like they dis theirs, a wise woman must create a balance.Tell your mom about your husband's suggestions and stand BY HIM to prove it's a better decision as long as he is not cutting her o

Let's tell ourselves the truth, his MIL felt threatened that what may be reserved for her as compensation might go to somebody else.[/quote]
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by Vernor(m): 9:10pm On Aug 29, 2022
Yeap, you are to be blamed for all these problems because you should have envisahe all these or you didn't get close to those experience to guide you. The mother inlaw has the right to be there not the god mother, you don't allow sentiments to rule you. Forget what must have transpired your mum and your wife's mum are the 2 that have the right to be there. You're wrong to advise your mother inlaw to go even if she stays next compound. For now you will just manage like that you will sleep in the parlor with the god mother and everyone else will sleep in the room. Though you're in experienced that's why all these, just sleep no big deal manage till when after they left or after naming ceremony tell the god mother you guys need to travel so that she can go. But you must have great patience and never tell your wife to tell her mum should leave also don't come in between them, they will always blame you. So no put mouth.
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by Dotman2210(m): 9:11pm On Aug 29, 2022
Candidlady:
sad


You want your wife's mum to pack her kaya back to her house so your wife's so called godmother could stay undecided
Or am imissing something

Stewpid question please
1. This her godmother who/what is she to you undecided

2. Who invited the godmother over (something tells me you were the one that invited her)
For her to use such lines
My wife later came to me outside and was annoyed "that I dont welcome her mother in my house."



Lemme drift a Lil

please what is the gender of your kid?
If it is a boy child kindly look for the neatest waste bin


all the best to you







If he is boy child he should be thrown into the being right? When you start running from pillar to post in search of a child in the nearest future nobody will know it is self-inflicted
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by Pacesetter2021: 9:55pm On Aug 29, 2022
Yes you were wrong. You don't give a woman date to come see her child and grandchild THAT JUST PUT TO BED.

The woman that came first
Is your wife's God mother and translates to being your mother in laws friend. They should lay on each other if it gets to that. They will enjoy it because they are acquainted. It's you that is stressing yourself. Don't go and bath and lay down. A time you should be enjoying your new baby you are doing maths calculations for people that didn't ask you to.
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by Ajibade123(m): 10:48pm On Aug 29, 2022
UncleDaddy2017:
My wife recently put to bed our first child. While at the hospital, it's been my wife's godmother who travelled down from another state specifically to be with my wife. Infact, she came straight to the hospital and she has been the one sleeping there with her at night. While I stay with her by day. When am at the hospital to relieve her, she goes to our house to sleep.

My wife's mom and my mom (both live few streets away from ours) do come to the hospital during the day ... So fast forward to yesterday Sunday.

My mother-in-law told my wife she will come after church... Hours after church closed we still didn't see her. Only for her to show up with a big traveling bag. And she knew quite well that my wife's godmother put up at our house.

My house is a one bedroom apartment.

When she came, I asked my wife that now that her mom is here, how will all of us sleep in this house as my wife, our baby and the godmother will sleep in the room, while I stay in the sitting room. She became angry and said they will all stay in the room. But that if I don't want her mom to stay in the house, she will just tell her to go away.

So I told her that the proper thing to do is tell her mom to wait till Wednesday when the godmother lives, then she can come. Besides her house is only few streets away. She can be coming during the day and go back home.

So this night now, the mom has bathed and has gone to stay in the room. The godmother who's now feeling sleepy, had to stay in the living room as she can't go to the room bc her mom is there. Me on the other hand, can't sleep in the living room bc her godmother is in the sitting room.... So I sat at the veranda until 11pm. The cloth I had on was the one I wore since morning. I can't go to the room to change as the mom is there. Neither the living room bc the other woman is there.

My wife later came to me outside and was annoyed that I dont welcome her mother in my house.

Do you think I'm wrong to have told my wife to tell her to wait till Wednesday before she comes?

NB: my mother inlaw and I, live like mother and son until she came yesterday Sunday.
why don't you find somewhere to stay till Wednesday so that the room can accommodate them
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by Qatar2022: 11:23pm On Aug 29, 2022
Candidlady:
sad


You want your wife's mum to pack her kaya back to her house so your wife's so called godmother could stay undecided
Or am imissing something

Stewpid question please
1. This her godmother who/what is she to you undecided

2. Who invited the godmother over (something tells me you were the one that invited her)
For her to use such lines
My wife later came to me outside and was annoyed "that I dont welcome her mother in my house."



Lemme drift a Lil

please what is the gender of your kid?
If it is a boy child kindly look for the neatest waste bin


all the best to you






Really? Is this how you reason?
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by realoscar84(m): 11:55pm On Aug 29, 2022
Ur wife and her mother are unreasonable. Imagine an i sensitive wife who doesn't care about her husband feeling. The God mother was invited and she has done very well in caring for the ungrateful God daughter whose mother felt threatened and has to rush to ur house with her travelling bag and according to her shallow mentality , let me assume my rightful position before i will be relegated to the background oo. Where was she when her daughter just put to bed. Ok, she was too busy to sleep over at the hospital and take care of her daughter ba? If i were you, i will deal with that my wife when she's fully recovered. How can my wife not consider my comfort in my own house which i labour to maintain.
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by Halo22: 1:39am On Aug 30, 2022
Some mother-in-laws are not considerate at all, they reason in one direction just like most women Shaa. Nah so one in my former yard came for omugwo of her daughter in a one room apartment (Public yard) as if that was not enough, she came with a small boy she was staying with in the village. Oh I pity that guy man that period, most times, he would sleep in any of us the singles room, that is if the guy no carry babe come back. It's not easy, but Op just manage with them for the few days remaining till Wednesday,to avoid creating unnecessary enmity with ur wife and her mum.
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by showafrica(m): 2:25am On Aug 30, 2022
UncleDaddy2017:
My wife recently put to bed our first child. While at the hospital, it's been my wife's godmother who travelled down from another state specifically to be with my wife. Infact, she came straight to the hospital and she has been the one sleeping there with her at night. While I stay with her by day. When am at the hospital to relieve her, she goes to our house to sleep.

My wife's mom and my mom (both live few streets away from ours) do come to the hospital during the day ... So fast forward to yesterday Sunday.

My mother-in-law told my wife she will come after church... Hours after church closed we still didn't see her. Only for her to show up with a big traveling bag. And she knew quite well that my wife's godmother put up at our house.

My house is a one bedroom apartment.

When she came, I asked my wife that now that her mom is here, how will all of us sleep in this house as my wife, our baby and the godmother will sleep in the room, while I stay in the sitting room. She became angry and said they will all stay in the room. But that if I don't want her mom to stay in the house, she will just tell her to go away.

So I told her that the proper thing to do is tell her mom to wait till Wednesday when the godmother lives, then she can come. Besides her house is only few streets away. She can be coming during the day and go back home.

So this night now, the mom has bathed and has gone to stay in the room. The godmother who's now feeling sleepy, had to stay in the living room as she can't go to the room bc her mom is there. Me on the other hand, can't sleep in the living room bc her godmother is in the sitting room.... So I sat at the veranda until 11pm. The cloth I had on was the one I wore since morning. I can't go to the room to change as the mom is there. Neither the living room bc the other woman is there.

My wife later came to me outside and was annoyed that I dont welcome her mother in my house.

Do you think I'm wrong to have told my wife to tell her to wait till Wednesday before she comes?

NB: my mother inlaw and I, live like mother and son until she came yesterday Sunday.

Wahala for marriage too much na why guys dey avoid am now like plague. How comfortable visitors be knowing fully well they are discomforting you. Woman, suppose calll you tell you say she Wan come omugwo, make you arrange for am. Nonsense everywhere... Africans and trouble. Just live the house for them, tell them say u dey go outside work, japa for your life
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by Goldenkrezi: 6:08am On Aug 30, 2022
Candidlady:
sad


You want your wife's mum to pack her kaya back to her house so your wife's so called godmother could stay undecided
Or am imissing something

Stewpid question please
1. This her godmother who/what is she to you undecided

2. Who invited the godmother over (something tells me you were the one that invited her)
For her to use such lines
My wife later came to me outside and was annoyed "that I dont welcome her mother in my house."



Lemme drift a Lil

please what is the gender of your kid?
If it is a boy child kindly look for the neatest waste bin


all the best to you








You lack common reasoning.
The mother-in-law should have waited till Wednesday you skipped that part na... Clown!
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by samwash(m): 7:56am On Aug 30, 2022
mariahAngel:


If the money no come dey nko? Op no go do pass himself naa.
Laslas, both mother-in-law o, and godmother o, everybody go your house!
Make op take care of him wife.

I understand you Ma, we kwn things are not easy these days, especially housing, na mk I say mk the op try, atlest, little comfort is non negotiable.
We kwn they are just there temporary, but from time to time family members & friends will visit,that's why I said he still need to try to get a bigger space.

1 Like

Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by Onasbaba212: 10:11am On Aug 30, 2022
See Wetin 3 bedroom apartment go just solve with ease...My question is why would a god mother travel from another state to play the role of the MIL...Anyways Wednesday is just tomorrow.
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by dochenaj: 11:18am On Aug 30, 2022
This guy came here told us a story. And people are jumping into conclusions and giving advice and recommending course of action without knowing the dynamics of their family.

This is why third parties should never get involved with married couples.

All of you, giving advice and distributing blame are the real problem
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by drunkpunk(m): 11:45am On Aug 30, 2022
LadyRosa:


If they didn't invite the godmother,who would have been in the hospital helping the wife huh?
Since the MIL lives across the street,where was she when her daughter put to bed?

She felt comfortable since somebody else is keeping awake because of her daughter,now the daughter is back they want to get rid of the woman WITHOUT even making attempt to do it in a Loving and reasonable way.

I don't like that!

My mom can't do such,it boils down to morals I believe.My mother will definitely make that woman very comfortable and will buy heaven and earth to compensate her.


With your response, I'm positive your mother raised a Queen! Kudos.

1 Like

Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by iamL(f): 3:55pm On Aug 30, 2022
LadyRosa:


If they didn't invite the godmother,who would have been in the hospital helping the wife huh?
Since the MIL lives across the street,where was she when her daughter put to bed?

She felt comfortable since somebody else is keeping awake because of her daughter,now the daughter is back they want to get rid of the woman WITHOUT even making attempt to do it in a Loving and reasonable way.

I don't like that!

My mom can't do such,it boils down to morals I believe.My mother will definitely make that woman very comfortable and will buy heaven and earth to compensate her.


The most sensible comment so far.
You saved me the stress of typing. The MIL and wife and very unreasonable and ungrateful. Except the godmother came without the consent of the wife but with the insistence of the op.

1 Like

Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by integrity16(m): 11:19am On Sep 08, 2022
Oga, if you don't want to offend the godmother by asking her to leave, then manage the inconvenience for now. This godmother thingy is just western civilization, as Africans, it is the responsibility of mother in-laws to perform omugwo right from the days of the John Baptist.

Your failure to properly welcome your mother inlaw shows your mother inlaw in not welcome to perform her role.

For the sake of peace, manage the situation.
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by excell0001: 10:08pm On Sep 15, 2022
Candidlady:
sad


You want your wife's mum to pack her kaya back to her house so your wife's so called godmother could stay undecided
Or am imissing something

Stewpid question please
1. This her godmother who/what is she to you undecided

2. Who invited the godmother over (something tells me you were the one that invited her)
For her to use such lines
My wife later came to me outside and was annoyed "that I dont welcome her mother in my house."



Lemme drift a Lil

please what is the gender of your kid?
If it is a boy child kindly look for the neatest waste bin


all the best to you









na wah oh so much violence in your speech. I used to think you were reasonable oh. how will you tell him to dump his kid in a bin. if he was having having an affair as you are so insecurely suggesting, wouldn't he gladly stay in the parlour with the god mother


My dear I don't know what men did to you but try heal before you end like one of ,y distant relative that says she hates human beings as a whole
Re: Help! Am I Wrong Asking My Wife To Talk To Her Mum by excell0001: 10:14pm On Sep 15, 2022
lekonso:
The mother in law would have waited till Wednesday after the godmother would have left. But now that the wife's mother has has already packed her load to your house, asking her to go back might look like an insult to her, so the best thing to do is to manage the situation till Wednesday when the godmother leaves and their will be space for you. It does not mean you weak, it is an application of wisdom.

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