Good morning nairalanders,am in serious pain,I really need your help.,there’s this girl I’ve being dating for 3yrs now.,we have both being doing well ever since we’ve being dating.,I take almost 98% of her responsibilities.,we actually stay together but I’m actually out for work right now in Lagos..,so her dad passed away last year.,because her dad married two wives the other one isn’t giving her mom peace so they actually had to relocate from where they are to ibadan,so her and her mom was actually staying at her elder brother’s place till they find a house..,they already find a house and she was telling me the house worths 700k.,and the deadline would be end of this month,she said she’s depressed she’s this and that,definitely she’s trying to say i should come pay it,I also have bills on my neck to sort,this girl has a elder brother that doesn’t even wanna do anything to support..they will all keep asking me for money putting all their problems on my head all in the name of relationship.,we actually planning to get married but I don’t think it can happen again.,her brother will ask me for money.,her mom will ask me for money.,even when her dad was alive I’m actually fed up..,I do almost everything for this girl financially.,going to Clothings,feeding and all.,this time around because I’m not capable enough of doing all this financial needs for her like before I just noticed her attitude changed towards me.,my parents already know her parents and her parents already know my parents even before her dad passed away last year.,they actually speak on phone.,most of this financial help i render to them wouldn’t even let me do much financially for my own parents.,this girl will always need money which I will always try my best in doing everytime to give her.,her elder brother will always ask me for money too.,someone who’s supposed to be working very hard to make the little family okay.,I’m really trying my best.,I have spent so much money on her I’ve invested in her alot.,the last time we had a fight just because i sent her money..she said I embarrassed her and sent her money out of pity.,she deleted her WhatsApp and said if I want to reach her I can reach her at Instagram or phone call.,so I’m actually fed up about this whole thing and I don’t know what to do anymore I also have my own problems.,ever since this below �screenshot I posted happened she refuse to chat anymore since then.,since yesterday morning.,please I need your advice,no insults please and please pardon my grammars I’m not really good at it.thanks so much in advance.

Too many weak men on nairaland well just continue your chat like that and if she asks you again if you are done just tell her yes

olasaad:
Too many weak men on nairaland well just continue your chat like that and if she asks you again if you are done just tell her yes

It is not weakness. It is lack of money. Poor guy is needy. Instead of finding someone not needy, he fell for a needy girl. It ain’t gonna work. The poor girl needs MONEY which he doesn’t have. No amount of “psychology” or being a good guy can cover that.

Poverty mentality is very bad. What is the family's financial strength that they are going for #700k accommodation? The girl is not yet matured for marriage. If you are truly interested in marrying, she must know that your marriage is not to show off to her family that you are capable but to succeed as a couple.
You equally need to be matured. It appears you are too weak a man or some of your write ups are wrong. How can you be spending on a family and the woman is playing on your emotions for the mother's house rent when she knows your situation? Unless you are seeing other good qualities that you can't trade for anything else, you may stand to regret the marriage later. Shine your eyes. I wish you the best.

I guess the girl is more educated than you. I don't see her becoming your wife. Though she may be into another relationship for now. It is actually meant for you to see her true identity. The new relationship is also a trap, test and distraction for her. The beauty of it is that the relationship will not last long. It will soon collapse and she will fall back to you But you have two options, either you patiently wait for the relationship to come to an end or you call it a quit. The best option for now is to call it a quit. End the relationship and move on with your life. Count your loss, lick your wound. Most importantly, give your life to Christ and marry honourably. The beauty of it is that there is someone better that will cherish everything about you without allowing you to waste your resources. You need time and Christ to search. God bless you.

A very SIMPle man

Well done father Christmas, the cheerful giver, the microfinance bank of our time. Giver her the 700k if you truly love her.

Juliusmartin01:
Good morning nairalanders,am in serious pain,I really need your help.,there’s this girl I’ve being dating for 3yrs now.,we have both being doing well ever since we’ve being dating.,I take almost 98% of her responsibilities.,we actually stay together but I’m actually out for work right now in Lagos..,so her dad passed away last year.,because her dad married two wives the other one isn’t giving her mom peace so they actually had to relocate from where they are to ibadan,so her and her mom was actually staying at her elder brother’s place till they find a house..,they already find a house and she was telling me the house worths 700k.,and the deadline would be end of this month,she said she’s depressed she’s this and that,definitely she’s trying to say i should come pay it,I also have bills on my neck to sort,this girl has a elder brother that doesn’t even wanna do anything to support..they will all keep asking me for money putting all their problems on my head all in the name of relationship.,we actually planning to get married but I don’t think it can happen again.,her brother will ask me for money.,her mom will ask me for money.,even when her dad was alive I’m actually fed up..,I do almost everything for this girl financially.,going to Clothings,feeding and all.,this time around because I’m not capable enough of doing all this financial needs for her like before I just noticed her attitude changed towards me.,my parents already know her parents and her parents already know my parents even before her dad passed away last year.,they actually speak on phone.,most of this financial help i render to them wouldn’t even let me do much financially for my own parents.,this girl will always need money which I will always try my best in doing everytime to give her.,her elder brother will always ask me for money too.,someone who’s supposed to be working very hard to make the little family okay.,I’m really trying my best.,I have spent so much money on her I’ve invested in her alot.,the last time we had a fight just because i sent her money..she said I embarrassed her and sent her money out of pity.,she deleted her WhatsApp and said if I want to reach her I can reach her at Instagram or phone call.,so I’m actually fed up about this whole thing and I don’t know what to do anymore I also have my own problems.,ever since this below �screenshot I posted happened she refuse to chat anymore since then.,since yesterday morning.,please I need your advice,no insults please and please pardon my grammars I’m not really good at it.thanks so much in advance.

She and her elder brother and her entire family are liabilities. Isn't she working? Isn't her elder brother working? Why would they go for a very expensive house they can't afford? Can't they look for a less expensive house or a Cheaper house? Bro, leave that girl, if u marry that girl, u won't stand financial. She is a liability and so his her elder bro.

Stories like this ehn.
The fact that they are moving out, currently seeking accommodation asap, and they think a 700k accomodation is the befitting place for them is baffling. Use to hear that beggar has no choice, this one has every choice in the world oooo, and she's demanding you cough out every kobo.
This relationship is heading somewhere, it is called the "doom land" you've always been coming through before,if you stop coming through,she would probably gaslight you into it, but remember a woman that can see through her fault is the most dangerous of species. If I were you,I'll begin laying the marker of a Man now.

Na we be your best plug for everything sexual enhancement

They don't have money and they want to rent a house of 700k..what happend to house of 150k.Op you know what to do.Dont marry a liability.I can never do such,I speak from Experience as the experience master.I one met a lady online and after some days of chatting,I asked her what's the most important attribute you will like your man to have...she said a man who can meet her financial need,that was the last time I chatted her up.As a man,never marry a liability or student.Go for working ladies or self employed.because no matter how you brush up a lady,she will still be ungrateful.so why the stress to help her.

Bro the girl is not meant for you, i understand how you are feeling,it’s difficult for you to let go of her because of the investment and emotional trauma you will pass through but let’s call a spade a spade a girl that loves you and sees you as her future won’t be giving much billing
The girl has another guy that’s why she doesn’t care if she didn’t chat with you on WhatsApp,she’s probably chatting with the new guy on IG.Count your loses and move on though it’s not easy ,it’s emotion with time you will heal,if the 700k you couldn’t provide when she has siblings can lead to her acting up means she didn’t take you as you took her and don’t ever give her the 700k just move on.

Fedrick100:
Bro the girl is not meant for you, i understand how you are feeling,it’s difficult for you to let go of her because of the investment and emotional trauma you will pass through but let’s call a spade a spade a girl that loves you and sees you as her future won’t be giving much billing
The girl has another guy that’s why she doesn’t care if she didn’t chat with you on WhatsApp,she’s probably chatting with the new guy on IG.Count your loses and move on though it’s not easy ,it’s emotion with time you will heal,if the 700k you couldn’t provide when she has siblings can lead to her acting up means she didn’t take you as you took her and don’t ever give her the 700k just move on.

Thanks very much bro.. thanks for the advice.,God bless you.,I really appreciate.,I’ve tried so much for this so-called girl.,is it about cloth or wigs all this material things.,I can’t just bear it anymore.,I just have to let go.,thanks soo much!

Aaaaarghmed:
They don't have money and they want to rent a house of 700k..what happend to house of 150k.Op you know what to do.Dont marry a liability.I can never do such,I speak from Experience as the experience master.I one met a lady online and after some days of chatting,I asked her what's the most important attribute you will like your man to have...she said a man who can meet her financial need,that was the last time I chatted her up.As a man,never marry a liability or student.Go for working ladies or self employed.because no matter how you brush up a lady,she will still be ungrateful.so why the stress to help her.

Thanks so much for the advice bro…,a house of 700k that’d still have to be furnished.,even the TVs and chairs that should be placed there isn’t part of the money yet..,and the brother isn’t doing anything than to be asking me for money.,my elder brother that’s abroad said I can’t marry such girl.,that the family problem will affect me big time..,and the so called brother will feel very entitled and I won’t have a peace of mind.

Juliusmartin01:
Thanks very much bro.. thanks for the advice.,God bless you.,I really appreciate.,I’ve tried so much for this so-called girl.,is it about cloth or wigs all this material things.,I can’t just bear it anymore.,I just have to let go.,thanks soo much!

With time you will heal,the girl doesn’t know what she wants yet
She doesn’t know how to cut her clothes according to her size

E be like say e better to born Hushpuppi or BAT than to born ozuor a.k.a fool...

If you be my brother... I for go arrange better cane, soak am for Cameron pepper water for seven days come share one one give papa, mama, and all our sinlings.

We go invite you for family meeting...

Your life no go ever remain the same again aswear...

gaby:
E be like say e better to both Hushpuppi or BAT than to born ozuor a.k.a fool...

If you be my brother... I for go arrange better cane, soak am for Cameron pepper water for seven days come share one one give papa, mama, and all our sinlings.

We go invite you for family meeting...

Your life no go ever remain the same again aswear...

if you know you don’t have something good to say just keep shut and get out.,the people giving good advice here are not humans like you?

Juliusmartin01 dump her sorry ass..you SIMPle man and you deserve better.

Juliusmartin01:
if you know you don’t have something good to say just keep shut and get out.,the people giving good advice here are not humans like you?

Ekpa...

You never even mature enough to fit reason and take care of yourself you dey form father Christmas dey also plan marriage with yourself and by yourself.

The girl na very smart girl to fit smell your foolishness even from text message and phone.

Dundee United...

Juliusmartin01:
Good morning nairalanders,am in serious pain,I really need your help.,there’s this girl I’ve being dating for 3yrs now.,we have both being doing well ever since we’ve being dating.,I take almost 98% of her responsibilities.,we actually stay together but I’m actually out for work right now in Lagos..,so her dad passed away last year.,because her dad married two wives the other one isn’t giving her mom peace so they actually had to relocate from where they are to ibadan,so her and her mom was actually staying at her elder brother’s place till they find a house..,they already find a house and she was telling me the house worths 700k.,and the deadline would be end of this month,she said she’s depressed she’s this and that,definitely she’s trying to say i should come pay it,I also have bills on my neck to sort,this girl has a elder brother that doesn’t even wanna do anything to support..they will all keep asking me for money putting all their problems on my head all in the name of relationship.,we actually planning to get married but I don’t think it can happen again.,her brother will ask me for money.,her mom will ask me for money.,even when her dad was alive I’m actually fed up..,I do almost everything for this girl financially.,going to Clothings,feeding and all.,this time around because I’m not capable enough of doing all this financial needs for her like before I just noticed her attitude changed towards me.,my parents already know her parents and her parents already know my parents even before her dad passed away last year.,they actually speak on phone.,most of this financial help i render to them wouldn’t even let me do much financially for my own parents.,this girl will always need money which I will always try my best in doing everytime to give her.,her elder brother will always ask me for money too.,someone who’s supposed to be working very hard to make the little family okay.,I’m really trying my best.,I have spent so much money on her I’ve invested in her alot.,the last time we had a fight just because i sent her money..she said I embarrassed her and sent her money out of pity.,she deleted her WhatsApp and said if I want to reach her I can reach her at Instagram or phone call.,so I’m actually fed up about this whole thing and I don’t know what to do anymore I also have my own problems.,ever since this below �screenshot I posted happened she refuse to chat anymore since then.,since yesterday morning.,please I need your advice,no insults please and please pardon my grammars I’m not really good at it.thanks so much in advance.

To slap sense enter your brain for good.

Move on with your life and leave that parasite alone.

gaby:


Ekpa...

You never even mature enough to fit reason and take care of yourself you dey form father Christmas dey also plan marriage with yourself and by yourself.

The girl na very smart girl to fit smell your foolishness even from text message and phone.

Dundee United...

i don’t need to keep arguing with someone who’s very mannerless.

gaby:


Ekpa...

You never even mature enough to fit reason and take care of yourself you dey form father Christmas dey also plan marriage with yourself and by yourself.

The girl na very smart girl to fit smell your foolishness even from text message and phone.

Dundee United...

silence is the best answer for someone like you.

Juliusmartin01:
silence is the best answer for someone like you.

Come on, run go play with your mates for potopoto...

VictorUSA:
Juliusmartin01 dump her sorry ass..you SIMPle man and you deserve better.

thanks very much for your advice bro..,I really appreciate.,I know I deserve better than the way she’s treating me..,there was a time we have a little issue..something that doesn’t even have any meaning..,all because I wake her up for early morning jogging and she was still sleeping so I had to leave her to sleep and commence my own jogging.,she refuse to message me for straight 3days..,it was parents that later settled it..,it’s just crazy.

Juliusmartin01:
if you know you don’t have something good to say just keep shut and get out.,the people giving good advice here are not humans like you?

U are being exploited....the lady doesn't even care about u let alone love you....u are just an ATM....no respect for you...na her family dey beg am to stay with you for the money..

People that doesn't have money want to live in 700k apartment in Ibadan...is that not witchcraft??

As a guy..learn to say no to a woman or even anybody ....thats when u will see their attitude . U have already seen u are just paying her to be with you ..if you don't have her attitude will change.....it's time to walk away...

See...forget all u have spent ..u can never do enough for a lady like that......if you marry am, the frustration and entitlement from her and her family will double....

advanceDNA:


U are being exploited....the lady doesn't even care about u let alone love you....u are just an ATM....no respect for you...na her family dey beg am to stay with you for the money..

People that doesn't have money want to live in 700k apartment in Ibadan...is that not witchcraft??

As a guy..learn to say no to a woman or even anybody ....thats when u will see their attitude . U have already seen u are just paying her to be with you ..if you don't have her attitude will change.....it's time to walk away...

See...forget all u have spent ..u can never do enough for a lady like that......if you marry am, the frustration and entitlement from her and her family will double....

one of the best advice ever!..may you live long in Jesus name..,and whatever you lay your hands � upon will always prosper…thanks so much..,God bless you!

quote author=Juliusmartin01 post=116580043]thanks very much for your advice bro..,I really appreciate.,I know I deserve better than the way she’s treating me..,there was a time we have a little issue..something that doesn’t even have any meaning..,all because I wake her up for early morning jogging and she was still sleeping so I had to leave her to sleep and commence my own jogging.,she refuse to message me for straight 3days..,it was parents that later settled it..,it’s just crazy.[/quote]


@Op. Dem no Dey carry woman matter for head. If she gives more stress than peace. Let her go… in the long run you’ll discover she doesn’t worth the stress.
How old is your woman besides?

When I saw the topic, I thought the OP had ulcer or one health challenge. So this is the pain you're talking about??

Mtcheeew, you don't even have a problem.
Have a lovely week ahead.

Sorry for the mess you put yourself into, Ladies are ungrateful beings, please leave her,face your mother, brothers and sisters, they're the ones that will be there for you, when you get show down,E get why

Freshman54:
Sorry for the mess you put yourself into, Ladies are ungrateful beings, please leave her,face your mother, brothers and sisters, they're the ones that will be there for you, when you get show down,E get why

Thanks very much bro..,You’re blessed.

98%? Those are termites that we do pray against in church. Oga, you never get wife ooo, and I can see death knocking at your door if you don't find your way ASAP

Dude don't let them use my husband and our husband to ruin your life,you can only give what you can afford,it's obvious they want you to go and join a gang to rob,kidnap and extort people,as for your job do real estate agent job,you can find any agent around you who could teach you, when it's time to ditch an unhealthy relationship do it with glee and move on stop being in pains for nothing and wake up before you mess up.goodluck.