₦airaland Forum

TheirFADA:
if we dey preach Redpill to men, people go say we're toxic

what you eventually did is what you should have done a long time ago, if u no put woman 4 her place, her sense no go come back to place

omo, you don suffer 4 marriage o
Wetin happen

But I'm happy for you now. You've liberated yourself

Continue ignoring her till she goes down on her two knees and beg you for what she did

E shock her as you ignore her, she run kom nairaland dey find sympathy with her one sided story

blaise26abj:
Wonderful.
I blame you the husband if you saw these signs before getting married and went ahead regardless .

When I was single , a lady I wanted to date gave me these ridiculous terms of calling within a particular time frame . Still dey vex say I dey call am within the time. The way I tear for am ehn and cut her off totally no be here . She later called me after a couple of months to apologize but man don already dey date the lady who became my wife .

You should have cut off from her when you had the opportunity . But now that you are married , you both have to seek counseling. She seems to have narcissistic traits . May God heal your home .

blaise26abj:
I stated my perspective based on my preference in a similar personal experience. It is not a competition between men and women . It’s a personal choice. Same way I don’t blame a woman that wants to marry a rich dude or a man that wants a woman with big yansh . It’s a matter of personal choice .

I turned her down because she was not the kind of woman I wanted . She tried to reestablish communication but I was already committed to someone else .
She is also married now to someone who obviously wants her .

SocialJustice:
I knew something was like this on the other side. Her story made no sense. Some women make unmarried guys scared of getting married. How can a person you share love with just transform into something else.

DaCharis2016:
I thought it was only mine that could go on for long without talking to me. Hmm! I wish I was not living together with her. I'm planning on how I can just leave her in the house and go somewhere she won't see me anymore for long. Just that my son will be missed greatly, and the unborn won't see me for long until I get to see her somehow someday.

Women are terrible beings.

Note: I'm yet to finalize the union and she's acting this way. While a friend advised I go on with the mrrg that she will adjust later, if it's the opposite I should just divorce. (That turns me off completely) I was told sth like this before I pumped it in again, yet she's the same in her unglorifying ways.

detectivejones:
If you read the epistle you can feel the pain in the man's words. But I want to believe you must have noticed her skoi skoi while dating, but you ignored. I know its easier typed than done continue to serve her the tatashi she served you the past 8years and your children should remain your priority. My 2kobo.

ghettochild:
This epistle is long ooo
Did ur wife not show any of this trait during courtship??
Omo mehn..marriage ain't by force..
I don't want to get married
The things I see every day no go mke I plan to marry..
Na babymama things ooo

Iamthoney:
Some women sha...I never bought or believed her story cos I know she was only selling half truth and nearly almost full lies to both the gullible and the credulous ones. That woman has no love in her so she can’t give what she don’t have. The man might not be perfect and might have wrong her in some ways in their union but he sure didn’t deserve all the bad and harsh treatment she served and peppered him with. This rebuttal from the man is purely a classic case of don’t judge a case after listening to one side of a tale. I hope things gets better between them but I doubt that is happening anytime soon if the man forgives her and decide to remain her husband cos things won’t be the same anymore between them.


Everyday I keep seeing reasons why I will simply opt for a contract marriage to avoid unnecessary drama that a full time marriage offers

Hawx:
With this woman's behaviour to her husband, it would be very hard to believe that she doesn't have another man in her life. Her behaviour reminds me of my girlfriend then whom God delivered me from.

ehissi:
Narcissistic tendency
Emotional blackmail
Gaslighting
Foolish Pride
Disregard and Disrespect for husband/fatherly authority
Lack of accountability
Immaturity
Lovelessness

These are the attributes I see in her based on her comment as well as yours!

It is also obvious that you love her more than she loves you, that is if she ever loved you at all.......


Marriage traditionally is a family matter, when you have marital issues here in Africa, family support systems are a necessity to support to resolves throbbing that can cause the end of the marriage......

The relationship between a man and his wife on the other hand, is a matter that can only be resolved by the willingness of the couple to sort things out mutually.......not one party pushing for it and the other party working against it, it must be mutual.......

Your wife rushing to social media to me is proof that even her relationship with your family isn't great let alone her relationship with you, so she has greater confidence in the counsel and opinions of social media that doesn't know you and think you childish, to family structures that raised you and are in a better position to advise her on how best to relate with you in trying times!!

That is a sign and quality of a woman that no responsible man can build a future with, if she was in Canada with you, chances are, she would have been using the children and the peace of the home to blackmail you emotionally, if that doesn't work, she will use divorce.......

Except she changes, she will never be able to build a meaningful future with you at that point divorce is the only option.....


On the other hand, depending on how long she has been separated from you, raising the children alone may be a handful Emotionally!

It Is not uncommon to find some women who have been separated physically from their husbands for long to throw Emotional tantrums!

Lack of consistent physical intimacy can be a burden, it can easily be complicated if the woman has already found an alternative to fill that need for physical intimacy in another man!!

My solemn advice, be a man!

Go and think about your life over the last decade with her, considering all the things that you like and don't like and sincerely give her a call and bring it to her attention.......also give her the opportunity to do same............


She chooses to listen? Then continue to work on your Marriage and try your best to close the gap created by distance.......

She is still unrepentant, then seek a dissolution of your union, after carefully reporting her to her family and close siblings!!

A woman that cannot build a peacful home and future with may end up destroying you, your peace and that of your kids......

Hope this helps


N.B:- 8 years with kids together is no joke, so what I wrote here is a lot harder than it looks because Emotional attachments already exists!!

And it is these attachments that she is abusing and using to blackmail you instead of it to be used as a foundation for building a solid bond with her husband and partner of her choice for the future!

Even now, I know tears and pains in your chest, dreams of unpleasant situations may have already started.......

But a times comes when you have to keep emotions aside, be logical and make things work, so that you don't raise kids with toxic emotional baggage, products of a dysfunctional marital atmosphere......

Else you may not live very long to even enjoy the marriage, you age by the day! Your heart may not always be so strong to unnecessary emotional tension from a rebellious wife.......

High blood pressure acquired from a toxic wife is not a gift, it's a curse!!

general111:
The woman you married is a bitter woman...
You obviously love her more than she loves you...
God will help your marriage

nairayouthcom:
Sorry for the ill treatment from your suppose wife
My candid advice
Go and run DNA Teston those kids, they may not be yours , she needed to cut you off so divorce will set in and she will be free to marry the father of the children (then she may decide to open up to you later on )


Go for DNA Test first

wpadmin:
Story of my parents.

My Dad loves my mum more but mumsy dey show am shegey.

Mumsy go dey at fault but Na popsy dey beg.

I don wise walai. I got my own red pill watching them.

NemoDatQuod:
Contract marriage? Marriage is a contract already. They deceive men by calling it marriage certificate. But it is a contract between a man and a woman. The time you will know it is a contract that is not different from a business contract, is when it is divorce time. They will now bring out the terms of the contract for you, terms of contract that you did not see before you signed the contract (marriage certificate).

If you are a man and you want to marry, you must first research the marriage laws and family law of the country you live in. These are where the terms of contract of your marriage are documented. They detail what happens during your marriage and what happens especially during separation or divorce, including financial settlements.

It is a strange means of deception, the marriage certificate. it is not a certificate. it is a contract. A contract without the contract details.

Men, be woke!

fotadmowmend:
Marriage is so complicated...... Any man that wants long life must my carefree to some extent.... Love yourself first. Most women kill their husbands with their wahala and attitudes.... Later dem go come dey plead pity from people around after the death of their husband ..... Seriously polygamy is the best .

Tunjibalogun:
Polygamy is worst if you study it closely. Single wife wan kill u, then 2,3,4 or more will send u to your maker faster

Acadia07:
...

Boss13:
The wife has developed a bad habit of keeping grudges for a long period of time. It's quite sad they are both tired of their marriage and living conditions.

The husband has said he has experienced hell throughout the duration of the marriage. I don't see any reconciliation or a change of behaviour from both parties. I think they can both call for the dissolution of the marriage and discuss how they will cater for the kids.

An unforgiving wife is a bad wife and can kill. She is not the victim here but the abuser. I recall advising her to call the husband and apologize instantly because it appears she would lose get marriage. Apparently, as per the husband, she has not done so. This was last week. Madam, you are a terrible individual.

aieromon:
First account opened 29th of September 2022 and thread hits front page.

Second account opens rebuttal thread 24 hours later hoping to hit front page.

Idle minds

sylve11:
Hmmmm@op
This is a serious and hilarious story packaged together.
Social media does not resolve marital issues, this is what I have come to understand.
We are waiting for part 3, anyway.

crossfm:
Always listen to the second person before you pass judgement.

Chaos14:
Siofra sheistoopretty and Candidlady will avoid this thread dumb hypocrite females with useless brains

24countries:
You married a toxic woman and a chronic cheat, she neither loves you, nor respects you. Your wife is in love with someone else, and to her, you're being a pest and annoying. And she won't stop stepping on your head if you keep giving her the chance to. Have some dignity and self respect and Walk tf away and love your children... Bye.

fohlarp:
oda party was d ist to talk out if u were following

DollarSigns:
Omo fear that kind guyman wer fit write Nairaland statement full 20 pages cos he go fit nag full 30 hours
Asin dat kind hubby & parrot weda who for nag pass?

hobat4cash:
Yeah I did, so?

BRATISLAVA:
Anyone who read that post really is bored. After the first paragraph, it's easy to see why the wife is tired of him.