Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,152,507 members, 7,816,224 topics. Date: Friday, 03 May 2024 at 07:54 AM

Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co (53999 Views)

Complex Marital Issue : Your Thoughts On This Please. / Advise Needed On Marital Issue / Please Advise Me On This Marital Issue (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (14) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by Romanoff(f): 4:28pm On Oct 07, 2022
It takes two to make a marriage work. Your wife is terrible at communicating and she seems to be stuck in her ways.

Despite all of this, the marriage is still fixable if both of you are willing to accept your faults and work on each other in other to work on your marriage.

Asides infidelity or abuse, I think this marriage is fixable if work is put into it.

But are you two willing?

14 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by Lapinski: 4:29pm On Oct 07, 2022
Men are suffering… With all this, yet you’re calm writing this, what for?

9 Likes

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by Daddycoded: 4:29pm On Oct 07, 2022
A taste of her own medicine grin grin grin

Obiiiirriiiiiiiiinnnnnnn

14 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by rajiedreez: 4:29pm On Oct 07, 2022
shocked
Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by Emman08: 4:29pm On Oct 07, 2022
Yougins of these days. You carry your entire marriage matter and put on social media. Are you looking for resolution, attention or escalation? What kind of immaturity is this?

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by Daddycoded: 4:30pm On Oct 07, 2022
Forgive what
Op don't forgive anything o
Iykenuwa:



Forgive her if she reaches out to apologise.

Obviously na small pikin de worry her.


12 Likes 1 Share

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by Odward(m): 4:30pm On Oct 07, 2022
Wow just few minutes on fp and it’s gotten to this stage, nairalanders are truly jobless.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by Emman08: 4:30pm On Oct 07, 2022
Romanoff:
It takes two to make a marriage work. Your wife is terrible at communicating and she seems to be stuck in her ways.

Despite all of this, the marriage is still fixable if both of you are willing to accept your faults and work on each other in other to work on your marriage.

Asides infidelity or abuse, I think this marriage is fixable if work is put into it.

But are you two willing?

100%%
Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by kernniejay(m): 4:31pm On Oct 07, 2022
ontarioache:
Hello all,

A mutual friend has drawn my attention to this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/7357845/complex-marital-issue-thoughts-please/15#117128240

MY RESPONSE.
First let me thank our mutual friend Imelda for drawing my attention to this.

Well, I am here to set the record straight.
I did not see any need to respond, but some commentators really got me laughing hard so let me indulge you all.

To kick start, I am in touch with my 2 kids on almost a daily basis, and the event she described is not the first time. Hanging up on me is a routine since we married, it has happened un-countable times. Also the guys that said I am childish are right, when they finish reading they will truly know that, no man will behave the way I have, except a child. Lastly, I am fully responsible for the upkeep of my family, every penny and not much age difference between us. I have never hung up on her for one day. She has even blocked me on phone over some arguments while we live in same house. (LOL)

For the readers, what happened is this :

You called me that you were going to made some budget and you will be spending … amount of money on that plans- you know the plan. I told you it was okay and we kept on talking about It. ( I did not raise any issue immediately to avoid conflict) so after some days, I told you that next time, it will be appropriate that we ought to discuss such plans together and that it was not the best for you to decide all by yourself and only informed me of what you have chosen to do for a decision that affects the both of us. You flared up immediately that I do not have the right to tell you that, and THAT YOU ARE ALONE WITH THE CHILDREN (like you always say) and furthermore, you said you have many things that you are doing at the same time. I then replied you that I also have many things going through my mind. ( I replied you this way because you always say this, anytime I want to have a discussion with you. You even say this even while we were together, and I will just be amazed). You flared up and insulted me then hung up.

I called you immediately many times. I called you again at night, I sent you several messages, although I did not apologize directly but the messages I sent reflected that I was sorry. In one of the messages, I explained that I was critical of the amount you intend to spend , because you do know we have other more pressing plans that we needed funds for, and that what your budgeted was a bit too high. But you refused to let go like you have always done for these 8 years. Every week for 6 weeks I sent you messages that you never replied to.

In this period, you also changed apartment without even deeming it fit to tell me. (Yes I know before this misunderstanding, it was already the plan that you will be changing apartment. But the anger still did not allow you tell me as at when you finally moved to the new apartment, till now, it has been more than 3 months that you moved, you still did not inform me although the children told me about it, you know they did, but I expected that at least you should tell me about it by yourself.)

I did not just stop picking your calls because I wanted to stop, I did it for my self respect and sanity. It is the first time I am refusing to pick your call, or even not to talk to you after 8 years of marriage.

Have I ever held any grudge against you for more than 24hrs ?, have you ever had to apologise more than once on anything without me accepting your apology immediately, that is even if you choose to apologise at all. ? !. Rather you are the one that reminds me at every giving opportunity that I know you can decide not to talk to me again and stay on you own, and that I am the one that will suffer. In precise terms, you always do this, while I was at home. You can stay on for weeks and months without talking to me for the slightest misunderstanding, I am always the one that will try and make peace, and each time you either humiliate me by refusing to make peace till whenever you are satisfied. It has been like this for these 8 years. Even if I want to hold a discussion with you at home, it is either you are busy on the phone, and If I try to ask you to focus you just tell me I should summarize and that you listen with your ears, and not your phone or your hands. However, sometimes ( like 20 per cent of cases) you do listen to me.

Even when the children are being difficult, you threaten them by telling them to go ask their father the kind of person you are, and that you do not tolerate nonsense from anyone.(lol, when I was young, our mothers threathen us with our father) Yes, you are right, I wonder why you are so proud of these difficult attributes of yours.

Recall that before that very day that you hung up on me,( in fact also since the beginning of the union), you have been insulting me on each time I call, If we are discussing and I ask you a question about what you have said, you always say that I don’t pay attention. You accuse me of not caring about how you managed the children alone by yourself. I understand it is hard to raise 2 kids under the age of 6 all by yourself, however like I have always told you, lets thank God, it could have been worse- not having children is hard, having children is also hard.Remember at home, your mother and your sister once said that, I show too much care for the kids and that is the weakness that you are using against me. This is from your own family. Imelda was also there !

I can barely talk to you on phone, each time I call you, you tell me you are busy with the kids, and most times you just ask me to summarise and then you hang up even while we were at home together, you say the same thing.

Recently before this sad event you even said if I do not call before 9.45pm, I can no longer reach you, few times when I have to call like few minutes to your deadline, no matter how important our discussion is, once it s 9.45 pm, the phone disconnects and that will be it.You can not even bend that rule for me. You barely return my calls, if you see my missed calls, sometimes it may take you days and most times you do not return them at all, if I ask, you are quick to say, you are alone managing the children and that your are already too stressed up to be bothered about missed calls.

Much earlier than this incident that you hung up on me, you asked me never to wish you any kind of good wishes like happy birthdays, Christmas, mother’s day and all those. Because you said I do not care that it is all lip service. I thought it was just frustration, but for the last 1 year, you have consistently refused to respond to my Christmas, New Year and even your birthday wishes.You ignored all my wishes!
5 months before that faithful day that you escalated your disdain for me to a whole new level, you talked to me on the phone with reckless abandon, even on my birthday, you managed to call me around 11 pm and your birthday wish to me was this “ I WISH YOU WHAT YOU WISH YOURSELF”, I told you it was not a fair wish, and the next thing, it led to outburst again and that was that, and you hung up.

Remember, you forgot my birthday for the past 3 consecutive years.

Obviously, in the preceding 5 months, you have been looking for what I will do so that you can cut me off, the opportunity came and you took it like a Viking.

How often can a married woman stay without getting in contact with her husband for this long over a matter as simple as that, and she is not bothered at all.

I needed to let go for once. I am tired of fighting for the advancement of this union. It has been 8 years of this gruesome treatment. You think everyone is wrong apart from you.

Please if there is any FALSEHOOD in what I have written, I will be glad that you tell your audience. IMELDA YOUR SISTER IS READING THIS AND SHE CAN TESTIFY TO ALL THESE. Moreover, this is just one small aspect of all that has happened these past 8 years. I just decided to skip a thousand others.I only choose to focus on this alone. You know there are a thousand things that are worse than this that you have done.

I am glad that the vast majority of your audience could not be manipulated by your story.

Maybe I would have just stayed back home in Nairobi 7 years ago, may it could not have been this bad. This is my Canada reality!

I would be a liar if I say it has not been daunting and I do not miss you. However, I have since come to the realization that no matter what , no man should dine in the table where love, respect and dignity are not served ! This is my new reality!

Dear Wife, Enjoy your own reality that you created for yourself and stay blessed...!


I will be back with my response.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by obinna2nv(m): 4:31pm On Oct 07, 2022
I think the most important feature you should look out for in a partner when considering marriage is, kindness, respect and selflessness (at least to some extent because inherently we're all selfish beings).

I'm sorry to say this, but your wife is not any of these, in fact she's the exact opposite of being mean, disrespectful and selfish. She tried to sell us short with her story but most people are not buying it.

My brother, I can understand the 8 years of marriage and all the effort that have gone into it, including the innocent kids. But you deserve better, its either your wife changes her attitude towards life in general and her marriage in particular, or you go your separate ways.

The funny thing is, you can easily get another partner, but good luck to her getting a new partner with her attitude, not so many men can tolerate what you have tolerated in the last 8 years.

The ball is entirely in her court now. Both parties should be pulling in the same direction.

It just can't be only you trying to make the marriage work, while she hides under the excuse of being stressed raising her own kids to unleash abominable behavior.

38 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by RepoMan007: 4:31pm On Oct 07, 2022
Okay, we have hear.
Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by FreeStuffsNG: 4:31pm On Oct 07, 2022
Abeg you have punished her enough. You are the man. Once she comes begging and truly means it, please jebure.
May God bless your home.

4 Likes

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by addictiv(m): 4:32pm On Oct 07, 2022
Lol
Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by Oboys12: 4:32pm On Oct 07, 2022
Op I just read both the original post of your wife and this rebuttal and I can see that her's isn't any different from yours only that you elucidated more. I'm glad many people have told her the gospel truth on her own post, first and foremost the world doesn't revolve around her, Bros let me be frank with you, apparently you married a wrong choice. That's not a wife that's all I can say. I can't imagine myself being treated by a woman that way. I'm even angry imagining it sef. Anyways it's time you take your decision as a man and do the needful. I understand the environment you find yourself (Western World) empowers women so much over men perhaps that's why she is taking undue advantage of you.
Bros do the needful

44 Likes 1 Share

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by SwayG: 4:32pm On Oct 07, 2022
Sorry brother.
Your wife is a bitter soul to you.

10 Likes

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by IAMTHEHERO: 4:33pm On Oct 07, 2022
There are 2 sides to every story
Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by legba1(m): 4:33pm On Oct 07, 2022
Oo, just keep your sanity no matter what. Flex, take care of you and continue caring for your children.

You will be fine, you need to ask me. I eat the best if "meat"now, and iam not under any kinda pressure. Its always sweet when the table is turned. Have fun.

2 Likes

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by greggng: 4:33pm On Oct 07, 2022
Two immature partners fighting in public

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by satandeterrible: 4:33pm On Oct 07, 2022
Iykenuwa:



Forgive her if she reaches out to apologise.

Obviously na small pikin de worry her.


You are mad.
Very mad.

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by Odward(m): 4:33pm On Oct 07, 2022
Hearing the husbands side of the story just made me determined not to judge couple stories on nl without listening to both partners again. All of you are mad sha after enjoying the union for few years, then small issue you come to nl to expose yourselves lmao.

1 Like

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by mariahAngel(f): 4:34pm On Oct 07, 2022
Breeze don blow!
E remain make Gâbless fiance come tell us im own side of their story.
cheesy

3 Likes

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by Starz825(m): 4:34pm On Oct 07, 2022
Yeah...I red the wife's part earlier.....
And no one really commended her for her silly behaviors...
She should be ashamed of herself by now...
She is just too proud....
Typical of some Nigerian women....

Because he be like the marriage Tori no be Naija oo .....na Kenya Nairobi grin

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by Edandy(m): 4:34pm On Oct 07, 2022
It looks like you force yourself on your woman. May be she used you as an alternative to her original partner probably when that one broke her her. Now, inside this marriage, she still has not come to term that she eventually lower her standard.

You have tolerated too much. This kind of women are so manipulative just exactly like my brother wife. The everyone is wrong except me. The feminist gang. My friend, focus on yourself, your children and your well wishers. I do not encourage divorce. But even the distance alone is already causing separation. Do what you can do and leave the rest. Unfortunately, people don't change except for spiritual intervention like salvation. Peace. May God heal your home.

13 Likes

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by mayorall(m): 4:34pm On Oct 07, 2022
ontarioache:
Hello all,

A mutual friend has drawn my attention to this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/7357845/complex-marital-issue-thoughts-please/15#117128240

MY RESPONSE.
First let me thank our mutual friend Imelda for drawing my attention to this.

Well, I am here to set the record straight.
I did not see any need to respond, but some commentators really got me laughing hard so let me indulge you all.

To kick start, I am in touch with my 2 kids on almost a daily basis, and the event she described is not the first time. Hanging up on me is a routine since we married, it has happened un-countable times. Also the guys that said I am childish are right, when they finish reading they will truly know that, no man will behave the way I have, except a child. Lastly, I am fully responsible for the upkeep of my family, every penny and not much age difference between us. I have never hung up on her for one day. She has even blocked me on phone over some arguments while we live in same house. (LOL)

For the readers, what happened is this :

You called me that you were going to made some budget and you will be spending … amount of money on that plans- you know the plan. I told you it was okay and we kept on talking about It. ( I did not raise any issue immediately to avoid conflict) so after some days, I told you that next time, it will be appropriate that we ought to discuss such plans together and that it was not the best for you to decide all by yourself and only informed me of what you have chosen to do for a decision that affects the both of us. You flared up immediately that I do not have the right to tell you that, and THAT YOU ARE ALONE WITH THE CHILDREN (like you always say) and furthermore, you said you have many things that you are doing at the same time. I then replied you that I also have many things going through my mind. ( I replied you this way because you always say this, anytime I want to have a discussion with you. You even say this even while we were together, and I will just be amazed). You flared up and insulted me then hung up.

I called you immediately many times. I called you again at night, I sent you several messages, although I did not apologize directly but the messages I sent reflected that I was sorry. In one of the messages, I explained that I was critical of the amount you intend to spend , because you do know we have other more pressing plans that we needed funds for, and that what your budgeted was a bit too high. But you refused to let go like you have always done for these 8 years. Every week for 6 weeks I sent you messages that you never replied to.

In this period, you also changed apartment without even deeming it fit to tell me. (Yes I know before this misunderstanding, it was already the plan that you will be changing apartment. But the anger still did not allow you tell me as at when you finally moved to the new apartment, till now, it has been more than 3 months that you moved, you still did not inform me although the children told me about it, you know they did, but I expected that at least you should tell me about it by yourself.)

I did not just stop picking your calls because I wanted to stop, I did it for my self respect and sanity. It is the first time I am refusing to pick your call, or even not to talk to you after 8 years of marriage.

Have I ever held any grudge against you for more than 24hrs ?, have you ever had to apologise more than once on anything without me accepting your apology immediately, that is even if you choose to apologise at all. ? !. Rather you are the one that reminds me at every giving opportunity that I know you can decide not to talk to me again and stay on you own, and that I am the one that will suffer. In precise terms, you always do this, while I was at home. You can stay on for weeks and months without talking to me for the slightest misunderstanding, I am always the one that will try and make peace, and each time you either humiliate me by refusing to make peace till whenever you are satisfied. It has been like this for these 8 years. Even if I want to hold a discussion with you at home, it is either you are busy on the phone, and If I try to ask you to focus you just tell me I should summarize and that you listen with your ears, and not your phone or your hands. However, sometimes ( like 20 per cent of cases) you do listen to me.

Even when the children are being difficult, you threaten them by telling them to go ask their father the kind of person you are, and that you do not tolerate nonsense from anyone.(lol, when I was young, our mothers threathen us with our father) Yes, you are right, I wonder why you are so proud of these difficult attributes of yours.

Recall that before that very day that you hung up on me,( in fact also since the beginning of the union), you have been insulting me on each time I call, If we are discussing and I ask you a question about what you have said, you always say that I don’t pay attention. You accuse me of not caring about how you managed the children alone by yourself. I understand it is hard to raise 2 kids under the age of 6 all by yourself, however like I have always told you, lets thank God, it could have been worse- not having children is hard, having children is also hard.Remember at home, your mother and your sister once said that, I show too much care for the kids and that is the weakness that you are using against me. This is from your own family. Imelda was also there !

I can barely talk to you on phone, each time I call you, you tell me you are busy with the kids, and most times you just ask me to summarise and then you hang up even while we were at home together, you say the same thing.

Recently before this sad event you even said if I do not call before 9.45pm, I can no longer reach you, few times when I have to call like few minutes to your deadline, no matter how important our discussion is, once it s 9.45 pm, the phone disconnects and that will be it.You can not even bend that rule for me. You barely return my calls, if you see my missed calls, sometimes it may take you days and most times you do not return them at all, if I ask, you are quick to say, you are alone managing the children and that your are already too stressed up to be bothered about missed calls.

Much earlier than this incident that you hung up on me, you asked me never to wish you any kind of good wishes like happy birthdays, Christmas, mother’s day and all those. Because you said I do not care that it is all lip service. I thought it was just frustration, but for the last 1 year, you have consistently refused to respond to my Christmas, New Year and even your birthday wishes.You ignored all my wishes!
5 months before that faithful day that you escalated your disdain for me to a whole new level, you talked to me on the phone with reckless abandon, even on my birthday, you managed to call me around 11 pm and your birthday wish to me was this “ I WISH YOU WHAT YOU WISH YOURSELF”, I told you it was not a fair wish, and the next thing, it led to outburst again and that was that, and you hung up.

Remember, you forgot my birthday for the past 3 consecutive years.

Obviously, in the preceding 5 months, you have been looking for what I will do so that you can cut me off, the opportunity came and you took it like a Viking.

How often can a married woman stay without getting in contact with her husband for this long over a matter as simple as that, and she is not bothered at all.

I needed to let go for once. I am tired of fighting for the advancement of this union. It has been 8 years of this gruesome treatment. You think everyone is wrong apart from you.

Please if there is any FALSEHOOD in what I have written, I will be glad that you tell your audience. IMELDA YOUR SISTER IS READING THIS AND SHE CAN TESTIFY TO ALL THESE. Moreover, this is just one small aspect of all that has happened these past 8 years. I just decided to skip a thousand others.I only choose to focus on this alone. You know there are a thousand things that are worse than this that you have done.

I am glad that the vast majority of your audience could not be manipulated by your story.

Maybe I would have just stayed back home in Nairobi 7 years ago, may it could not have been this bad. This is my Canada reality!

I would be a liar if I say it has not been daunting and I do not miss you. However, I have since come to the realization that no matter what , no man should dine in the table where love, respect and dignity are not served ! This is my new reality!

Dear Wife, Enjoy your own reality that you created for yourself and stay blessed...!




Please forgive our madam. She has changed.

Many men are going through worse.

2 Likes

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by id4sho(m): 4:34pm On Oct 07, 2022
ontarioache:
Hello all,

A mutual friend has drawn my attention to this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/7357845/complex-marital-issue-thoughts-please/15#117128240

MY RESPONSE.
First let me thank our mutual friend Imelda for drawing my attention to this.

Well, I am here to set the record straight.
I did not see any need to respond, but some commentators really got me laughing hard so let me indulge you all.

To kick start, I am in touch with my 2 kids on almost a daily basis, and the event she described is not the first time. Hanging up on me is a routine since we married, it has happened un-countable times. Also the guys that said I am childish are right, when they finish reading they will truly know that, no man will behave the way I have, except a child. Lastly, I am fully responsible for the upkeep of my family, every penny and not much age difference between us. I have never hung up on her for one day. She has even blocked me on phone over some arguments while we live in same house. (LOL)

For the readers, what happened is this :

You called me that you were going to made some budget and you will be spending … amount of money on that plans- you know the plan. I told you it was okay and we kept on talking about It. ( I did not raise any issue immediately to avoid conflict) so after some days, I told you that next time, it will be appropriate that we ought to discuss such plans together and that it was not the best for you to decide all by yourself and only informed me of what you have chosen to do for a decision that affects the both of us. You flared up immediately that I do not have the right to tell you that, and THAT YOU ARE ALONE WITH THE CHILDREN (like you always say) and furthermore, you said you have many things that you are doing at the same time. I then replied you that I also have many things going through my mind. ( I replied you this way because you always say this, anytime I want to have a discussion with you. You even say this even while we were together, and I will just be amazed). You flared up and insulted me then hung up.

I called you immediately many times. I called you again at night, I sent you several messages, although I did not apologize directly but the messages I sent reflected that I was sorry. In one of the messages, I explained that I was critical of the amount you intend to spend , because you do know we have other more pressing plans that we needed funds for, and that what your budgeted was a bit too high. But you refused to let go like you have always done for these 8 years. Every week for 6 weeks I sent you messages that you never replied to.

In this period, you also changed apartment without even deeming it fit to tell me. (Yes I know before this misunderstanding, it was already the plan that you will be changing apartment. But the anger still did not allow you tell me as at when you finally moved to the new apartment, till now, it has been more than 3 months that you moved, you still did not inform me although the children told me about it, you know they did, but I expected that at least you should tell me about it by yourself.)

I did not just stop picking your calls because I wanted to stop, I did it for my self respect and sanity. It is the first time I am refusing to pick your call, or even not to talk to you after 8 years of marriage.

Have I ever held any grudge against you for more than 24hrs ?, have you ever had to apologise more than once on anything without me accepting your apology immediately, that is even if you choose to apologise at all. ? !. Rather you are the one that reminds me at every giving opportunity that I know you can decide not to talk to me again and stay on you own, and that I am the one that will suffer. In precise terms, you always do this, while I was at home. You can stay on for weeks and months without talking to me for the slightest misunderstanding, I am always the one that will try and make peace, and each time you either humiliate me by refusing to make peace till whenever you are satisfied. It has been like this for these 8 years. Even if I want to hold a discussion with you at home, it is either you are busy on the phone, and If I try to ask you to focus you just tell me I should summarize and that you listen with your ears, and not your phone or your hands. However, sometimes ( like 20 per cent of cases) you do listen to me.

Even when the children are being difficult, you threaten them by telling them to go ask their father the kind of person you are, and that you do not tolerate nonsense from anyone.(lol, when I was young, our mothers threathen us with our father) Yes, you are right, I wonder why you are so proud of these difficult attributes of yours.

Recall that before that very day that you hung up on me,( in fact also since the beginning of the union), you have been insulting me on each time I call, If we are discussing and I ask you a question about what you have said, you always say that I don’t pay attention. You accuse me of not caring about how you managed the children alone by yourself. I understand it is hard to raise 2 kids under the age of 6 all by yourself, however like I have always told you, lets thank God, it could have been worse- not having children is hard, having children is also hard.Remember at home, your mother and your sister once said that, I show too much care for the kids and that is the weakness that you are using against me. This is from your own family. Imelda was also there !

I can barely talk to you on phone, each time I call you, you tell me you are busy with the kids, and most times you just ask me to summarise and then you hang up even while we were at home together, you say the same thing.

Recently before this sad event you even said if I do not call before 9.45pm, I can no longer reach you, few times when I have to call like few minutes to your deadline, no matter how important our discussion is, once it s 9.45 pm, the phone disconnects and that will be it.You can not even bend that rule for me. You barely return my calls, if you see my missed calls, sometimes it may take you days and most times you do not return them at all, if I ask, you are quick to say, you are alone managing the children and that your are already too stressed up to be bothered about missed calls.

Much earlier than this incident that you hung up on me, you asked me never to wish you any kind of good wishes like happy birthdays, Christmas, mother’s day and all those. Because you said I do not care that it is all lip service. I thought it was just frustration, but for the last 1 year, you have consistently refused to respond to my Christmas, New Year and even your birthday wishes.You ignored all my wishes!
5 months before that faithful day that you escalated your disdain for me to a whole new level, you talked to me on the phone with reckless abandon, even on my birthday, you managed to call me around 11 pm and your birthday wish to me was this “ I WISH YOU WHAT YOU WISH YOURSELF”, I told you it was not a fair wish, and the next thing, it led to outburst again and that was that, and you hung up.

Remember, you forgot my birthday for the past 3 consecutive years.

Obviously, in the preceding 5 months, you have been looking for what I will do so that you can cut me off, the opportunity came and you took it like a Viking.

How often can a married woman stay without getting in contact with her husband for this long over a matter as simple as that, and she is not bothered at all.

I needed to let go for once. I am tired of fighting for the advancement of this union. It has been 8 years of this gruesome treatment. You think everyone is wrong apart from you.

Please if there is any FALSEHOOD in what I have written, I will be glad that you tell your audience. IMELDA YOUR SISTER IS READING THIS AND SHE CAN TESTIFY TO ALL THESE. Moreover, this is just one small aspect of all that has happened these past 8 years. I just decided to skip a thousand others.I only choose to focus on this alone. You know there are a thousand things that are worse than this that you have done.

I am glad that the vast majority of your audience could not be manipulated by your story.

Maybe I would have just stayed back home in Nairobi 7 years ago, may it could not have been this bad. This is my Canada reality!

I would be a liar if I say it has not been daunting and I do not miss you. However, I have since come to the realization that no matter what , no man should dine in the table where love, respect and dignity are not served ! This is my new reality!

Dear Wife, Enjoy your own reality that you created for yourself and stay blessed...!

Your wife is angry and bitter. She's full of self inflicted issues only her can answer. Honestly, she needs the African/Nigerian marriage treatment. The good thing is you've understood her earlier. Probably, she can't handle loneliness shocked.

5 Likes

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by NoToPile: 4:35pm On Oct 07, 2022
pocohantas:
Naso. Una done start.

From Joro to Joro.


grin grin

This lady ehn Chai
Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by Lionnation: 4:35pm On Oct 07, 2022
todaynewsreview:
Seun, please move to front page too. Men dey pass through hell most times but nobody knows. All is well.
men don't tell tells I think is high time men begin to talk

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by Boss13: 4:35pm On Oct 07, 2022
The wife has developed a bad habit of keeping grudges for a long period of time. It's quite sad they are both tired of their marriage and living conditions.

The husband has said he has experienced hell throughout the duration of the marriage. I don't see any reconciliation or a change of behaviour from both parties. I think they can both call for the dissolution of the marriage and discuss how they will cater for the kids.

An unforgiving wife is a bad wife and can kill. She is not the victim here but the abuser. I recall advising her to call the husband and apologize instantly because it appears she would lose get marriage. Apparently, as per the husband, she has not done so. This was last week. Madam, you are a terrible individual.

48 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by satandeterrible: 4:35pm On Oct 07, 2022
tiswell:
Don't be like OP's ex wife who would always tell op to summarize. grin

na the matter we still dey settle grin
grin

2 Likes

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by AfroKnight: 4:36pm On Oct 07, 2022
Every sane person knew she was the one at fault. She has a dirty disgusting behaviour. Mr man, as long as you’re at peace, continue to enjoy your life away from her wahala. It is hell to live with such a woman.

Like I said before, she has no business being married. A man can take only so much before he snaps. This woman has frustrated her husband into weighing her worth in his life and unfortunately he has seen that she’s not worth very much.

Women don’t know that all their dramatic nonsense would make them lose value in the eyes of their men.

27 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by naijainstinct: 4:36pm On Oct 07, 2022
UyaiIncomparabl:
Abeg, fúck off. That one na you and your wife's business. Like I care.
Hey, do you know your foolishness is unrivaled? Cheers! smiley

18 Likes

Re: Rebuttal- Complex Marital Issue Https://www.nairaland.co by RUGGEDWEAVER(m): 4:36pm On Oct 07, 2022
Dear wife; what do you have to say about this now? The man has held on for good 8yrs of your nonchalant character towards the union and just 5months of giving you the same energy now you are shouting . 'There is no perfect man or woman again' o so you better do the needful before the feelings he has for u vanish.

9 Likes 2 Shares

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (14) (Reply)

Is My Mom To Blame For The Irresponsibility Of A 26 Year Old lady? / 34-yr-old Mother Who Died During Childbirth Along With Baby Set For Final Burial / Stella Solomon Peter Goes Missing, Have You Seen Her? (photo)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 138
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.