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My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by sparko1(m): 11:10am On Nov 10, 2022
Enacto:
Good evening, this is my first time posting here and it because I'm kinda troubled pls I will need you guys to help me on this issue.



Do u think he deserves my forgiveness??

Did he ask for your forgiveness? if not why are bordering yourself, if you have apologied and he didn't feel he has anything to apologies for, why are you talking of forgiving him.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by nancyib: 11:21am On Nov 10, 2022
Worriedwife:

She is a woman,, read again
hw u tak no, cos me i tik say na man
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Lukuluku69(m): 11:22am On Nov 10, 2022
Enacto:
Good evening, this is my first time posting here and it because I'm kinda troubled pls I will need you guys to help me on this issue.

Since 2020 I have not been in good terms with my dad, and it all started with a little fight about drinking of the water in the fridge and my dad decided to lock the sitting room where the fridge was kept restricting my mom and myself to the room alone as at this time I was in 400lvl and 24years.

My dad doesn't drop money and home so I had to look for means to feed myself which was really new to me cos he has been the one sending money to me in school even thou he doesn't drop at home.

After then we kept having issues about him not giving me a private room in the house even up till now, then on a day like that an issue happened after I beating my 3years old niece he was so angry that he hits me severally at a conered spot that he almost hit my eyes I had to push him on the bed and ran out of the house, then the second day I packed my stuff's and left for school throughout 2021 I didn't come home till December and he didn't bother calling or sent me money not my school fee and project fee I did everything on my own.

I came home late last year and apologized and later I asked him for my school fee which I had not paid as at that time, he kept giving me excuses which I Know he has and left after much talk he gave me #50,000 out of like #150,000 but sincerely I didn't collect it cos I don't know where to get the remains then I got a job and saved up and paid.

Presently I'm very mad at him because he never cared about me or my mum, all he does with his money is to give it to his concubines. It really painful that I had to work for 7-9hours everyday while standing for 1k per day and my dad is out there spending his money for one LovePeddler.

Do u think he deserves my forgiveness??

This may sound somehow to you but I think your Dad feels you disrespected him.

Things won't change until he feels this same way for a while

Try and apologize and make a show of a new you.

Staying away for a longtime sends the picture of "I don't need you" in my life. I am not saying he is right though but you are the Child.

This is us: Africans.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Awesome01(m): 11:26am On Nov 10, 2022
Instead of you to appreciate all the good things your father has done for you for like 24years while depriving himself and your Mum a lot of things. You are here to paint him as a devil.

You claimed that your dad doesn't spend money on your Mum, so you didn't see that he is prioritising you kids education and future over his and your Mum's comfort at home?

If its so easy to make money and carry all the family burden alone, you are an adult now. You will soon see how easy it is. Just thank God you are a female , you will soon drop all your burden on the head of a man. If you are a male, you go hear am.

If you believe in Karma, then know that whatever you do to your parents will come back to you through your children. So to me, it is you that needs to beg your father for forgiveness. Because all your former apologies are just because you needed his money.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Ellasure: 11:28am On Nov 10, 2022
Socratiz:
You need to forgive your dad, not for his own sake but for your own sake.

You should not be carrying a load of bitterness against your dad as this may seep into your marriage.

You have reached the age to eliminate a sense of entitlement, and manage your expectations it only from your dad, but lao from everyone.

If your anger and frustration at your dad would change him, I would have advised you to nurture it, but you know that not possible.

I advise you face your life. Thank God you have completed schooling. Plan to leave the house as soon as you get a job. Then you can have a whole apartment to yourself rather than changing your dresses in the bathroom.

You can also take your mum along if that would be possible.

It is not healthy for your mental health to hold any form of grudges.

By the way, do you have other siblings? How does your dad relate with them?


Thanks for your comments and advice and I hope that the person in question will heed.

We should all know that there is a spiritual aspects to our living and relationships with parents and other people. It is God made, don't ask.

To live your life well and good don't carry bitterness of a marital relationship that has gone sour into your life and future because it is not your own. Despite your mother's excuses to you for doing whatever has made father to behave so, distance your self from thoughts seperating you from your father.

Therefore, keep your mother and father happy to your best considerations and try to help them reason together but don't force anything between them, just be nice. Then put everything in prayers to God Almighty and request for a better future for yourself.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by abidem4real: 11:28am On Nov 10, 2022
Worriedwife:


She is a woman,, read again
There is no gender justification in that writing
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Ephemmm: 11:30am On Nov 10, 2022
toobusy:
At 24,you should be thinking of how to become less of a burden to your Dad, meanwhile,I feel there are
some important details about your relationship and issues with your father that you didn't enlist in your write-up.

She has been brainwashed by her Mum into believing that her Dad womanizes and spent all his income on concubines. So, there is nothing her father gives that she will appreciate. She has also been told some cock and bull stories by her never satisfied mother.

Due to the above, she unconsciously started developing hatred towards her father to the extent of challenging her father's authority as the Head of the House.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by abidem4real: 11:30am On Nov 10, 2022
Enacto:
Good evening, this is my first time posting here and it because I'm kinda troubled pls I will need you guys to help me on this issue.

Since 2020 I have not been in good terms with my dad, and it all started with a little fight about drinking of the water in the fridge and my dad decided to lock the sitting room where the fridge was kept restricting my mom and myself to the room alone as at this time I was in 400lvl and 24years.

My dad doesn't drop money and home so I had to look for means to feed myself which was really new to me cos he has been the one sending money to me in school even thou he doesn't drop at home.

After then we kept having issues about him not giving me a private room in the house even up till now, then on a day like that an issue happened after I beating my 3years old niece he was so angry that he hits me severally at a conered spot that he almost hit my eyes I had to push him on the bed and ran out of the house, then the second day I packed my stuff's and left for school throughout 2021 I didn't come home till December and he didn't bother calling or sent me money not my school fee and project fee I did everything on my own.

I came home late last year and apologized and later I asked him for my school fee which I had not paid as at that time, he kept giving me excuses which I Know he has and left after much talk he gave me #50,000 out of like #150,000 but sincerely I didn't collect it cos I don't know where to get the remains then I got a job and saved up and paid.

Presently I'm very mad at him because he never cared about me or my mum, all he does with his money is to give it to his concubines. It really painful that I had to work for 7-9hours everyday while standing for 1k per day and my dad is out there spending his money for one LovePeddler.

Do u think he deserves my forgiveness??
I hope your dad has not discovered something fishy about your paternal status sha
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by manmade(m): 11:30am On Nov 10, 2022
Enacto:
Yes I do,my parents first born is an introvert doesn't even talk much, he just accept anything,then my immediate brother is kinda very okay on his own I can't dare say 1% of those insultive words he says to my dad and he embarrasses him anywhere yet he accepts all this things and even calls him from time to time cos he gives him money. My dad accept anything from him, sometimes my brother shouts at him yet he won't get mad cos my brother is a no nonsense person. I think it because I don't have money thou� embarassed
any are you then disturbing the old man instead of talking to your brother to help you pay for the school fees and other expenses?
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Candidlady: 11:30am On Nov 10, 2022
yahoodetector:


Busted!!

You are the author of this post!

Check the time frame in which the post was created and then when you switched to your main moniker to react with an emoji.

So your father is the reason for all this hatred on menfolk...no wonder!

You beat your niece in the name of correction and when he beats you, you pushed him to the bed?

Go and learn to respect your father and stop the male-bashing.

Pele





Lol
Detective well done


Ubanka

1 Like

Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Amumaigwe: 11:33am On Nov 10, 2022
Enacto:
Good evening, this is my first time posting here and it because I'm kinda troubled pls I will need you guys to help me on this issue.

Since 2020 I have not been in good terms with my dad, and it all started with a little fight about drinking of the water in the fridge and my dad decided to lock the sitting room where the fridge was kept restricting my mom and myself to the room alone as at this time I was in 400lvl and 24years.

My dad doesn't drop money and home so I had to look for means to feed myself which was really new to me cos he has been the one sending money to me in school even thou he doesn't drop at home.

After then we kept having issues about him not giving me a private room in the house even up till now, then on a day like that an issue happened after I beating my 3years old niece he was so angry that he hits me severally at a conered spot that he almost hit my eyes I had to push him on the bed and ran out of the house, then the second day I packed my stuff's and left for school throughout 2021 I didn't come home till December and he didn't bother calling or sent me money not my school fee and project fee I did everything on my own.

I came home late last year and apologized and later I asked him for my school fee which I had not paid as at that time, he kept giving me excuses which I Know he has and left after much talk he gave me #50,000 out of like #150,000 but sincerely I didn't collect it cos I don't know where to get the remains then I got a job and saved up and paid.

Presently I'm very mad at him because he never cared about me or my mum, all he does with his money is to give it to his concubines. It really painful that I had to work for 7-9hours everyday while standing for 1k per day and my dad is out there spending his money for one LovePeddler.

Do u think he deserves my forgiveness??

You obviously teamed up with your jobless mum to attempt to frustrate your father and he fought back and rightfully so. The locking of the fridge is only a symptom.of a bigger problem which you did not mention. He has seen that any investments on you is a wasted one and has faced his front enjoying his sweat alone. He owes you nothing not with your disrespectful attitude towards him. Go meet your feminist mum for succour. Men with unappreciative wife that are using her children against their father have so much to learn from your dad.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by SeriouslySense(m): 11:35am On Nov 10, 2022
I dont know if he deserves forgiveness or not, but forgive and live your Life.

The more you carry these loads in your heart, the more you become heavy and it become more difficult to appreciate the good things in Life. The air we breathe, the nature we see, and the things we have achieved, breathe in deeply, hold that breathe for 3 second and slowly breathe out and say to yourself, i forgive freely.

You become a wonderful woman, who is rich in grace. smiley smiley

All that has happened has made you a better person or your best self.

Now, renew your mind for good goals, goals that bring peace to everyone, first for yourself.

Enacto:

Do u think he deserves my forgiveness??
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Camberlo(m): 11:35am On Nov 10, 2022
Sincerely speaking, you can't make a good wife And it's clear that you are interfere in a dispute between your dad and mum.

Go and apologize to your dad and let your mum know you don't have to pick side.

To the men in the house, Hussle well and plan for your old age.

Most mother make life miserable for their old husband during old age.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Lekan239(m): 11:36am On Nov 10, 2022
Enacto:
Good evening, this is my first time posting here and it because I'm kinda troubled pls I will need you guys to help me on this issue.

Since 2020 I have not been in good terms with my dad, and it all started with a little fight about drinking of the water in the fridge and my dad decided to lock the sitting room where the fridge was kept restricting my mom and myself to the room alone as at this time I was in 400lvl and 24years.

My dad doesn't drop money and home so I had to look for means to feed myself which was really new to me cos he has been the one sending money to me in school even thou he doesn't drop at home.

After then we kept having issues about him not giving me a private room in the house even up till now, then on a day like that an issue happened after I beating my 3years old niece he was so angry that he hits me severally at a conered spot that he almost hit my eyes I had to push him on the bed and ran out of the house, then the second day I packed my stuff's and left for school throughout 2021 I didn't come home till December and he didn't bother calling or sent me money not my school fee and project fee I did everything on my own.

I came home late last year and apologized and later I asked him for my school fee which I had not paid as at that time, he kept giving me excuses which I Know he has and left after much talk he gave me #50,000 out of like #150,000 but sincerely I didn't collect it cos I don't know where to get the remains then I got a job and saved up and paid.

Presently I'm very mad at him because he never cared about me or my mum, all he does with his money is to give it to his concubines. It really painful that I had to work for 7-9hours everyday while standing for 1k per day and my dad is out there spending his money for one LovePeddler.

Do u think he deserves my forgiveness??
Eni to ni fila o Lori. Eni to Lori ko ni fila. Non of my parent has ever given me or paid 50k cash for me before
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by OctavianAC(m): 11:36am On Nov 10, 2022
Even if the CJN should appoint anyone a judge over this your matter. How can he/she pass verdict without hearing from your father. Because something must have lead to your father's anger. And from your story, up till now you have not apologized properly, it seems you only went there because you needed money.
No matter what happens, your father remains your father even if he doesn't have anything. So, it will be very good for you to humble yourself and go back to him( his house) like the prodigal son. You need him even more than he needs you.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Bussydaniel: 11:40am On Nov 10, 2022
You didn't tell us what happened between your dad and your mom before you decide to take side, try and make peace with him ask for forgiveness and then settle your parent, they have issue to settle you are in good position to do that
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Mimidan001(m): 11:43am On Nov 10, 2022
Call someone he respected in your family and explain to him/her
He will definitely turn up
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by teblu(m): 11:49am On Nov 10, 2022
Worriedwife:


She is a woman,, read again
Where in the post does it indicate that the author is a female?
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by yahoodetector: 11:49am On Nov 10, 2022
Candidlady:



Lol
Detective well done


Ubanka

Buro uba iska dan banza kowei! angry
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by teblu(m): 11:53am On Nov 10, 2022
Zonefree:
After beating your "3-year-old" niece, your dad tried to correct you by using same stick you used on the little girl, you pushed him thereby brushing his ego.

A girl under the tutelage of her parents pushing her father and still got the nerves to ask if she should forgive the innocent man undecided

I'm even sure you fought him that day and you expect him to continue training you undecided. He's even benevolent to give you 50K for your school fees. You should be grateful

You guys are too quick to judge, didn't even bother to ask why she/he beats the neice. Could be trying to scold her for wrong doing and the dad been the person he is reacted.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Anonymoususher: 11:54am On Nov 10, 2022
Enacto:
Good evening, this is my first time posting here and it because I'm kinda troubled pls I will need you guys to help me on this issue.

Since 2020 I have not been in good terms with my dad, and it all started with a little fight about drinking of the water in the fridge and my dad decided to lock the sitting room where the fridge was kept restricting my mom and myself to the room alone as at this time I was in 400lvl and 24years.

My dad doesn't drop money and home so I had to look for means to feed myself which was really new to me cos he has been the one sending money to me in school even thou he doesn't drop at home.

After then we kept having issues about him not giving me a private room in the house even up till now, then on a day like that an issue happened after I beating my 3years old niece he was so angry that he hits me severally at a conered spot that he almost hit my eyes I had to push him on the bed and ran out of the house, then the second day I packed my stuff's and left for school throughout 2021 I didn't come home till December and he didn't bother calling or sent me money not my school fee and project fee I did everything on my own.

I came home late last year and apologized and later I asked him for my school fee which I had not paid as at that time, he kept giving me excuses which I Know he has and left after much talk he gave me #50,000 out of like #150,000 but sincerely I didn't collect it cos I don't know where to get the remains then I got a job and saved up and paid.

Presently I'm very mad at him because he never cared about me or my mum, all he does with his money is to give it to his concubines. It really painful that I had to work for 7-9hours everyday while standing for 1k per day and my dad is out there spending his money for one LovePeddler.

Do u think he deserves my forgiveness??


From what I read your dad may be hot tempered but cares about his kids. Maybe he has fallen out of love with your mom but not with his kids.

You sound like a spoilt and disrespectful girl. You ran out of the house and for one year you didn't comeback but expected your father to call and beg you.

He even tried to have given you 50k after what you did yet you still disrespected him


Girl you are a brat
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Anonymoususher: 11:55am On Nov 10, 2022
teblu:

You guys are too quick to judge, didn't even bother to ask why she/he beats the neice. Could be trying to scold her for wrong doing and the dad been the person he is reacted.

Irrespective why did she leave the house for one year?

She came back to demand for money, they gave her part and she rejected it.

What other clue do you need to accept that the babe is a spoilt and rude brat
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by relaxandsmile: 12:02pm On Nov 10, 2022
Pierocash:
Without digging too far,I discovered you are the kind of girl that disrespects your dad,and fight proxy wars for your mother

You have to humble yourself,and go apologize genuinely. Why will you reject the money in the first place? That is rude
Say this a million times,I will continue to like it. I wish I have that strong mind to deal with people who rub shoulders with me.
If she can be rude to her father,I wonder how she can say sorry to her man.
Even saying she beats her niece of 3years!
How can someone be so wrong and shifting the blame to her own father!

3 Likes

Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by nkpommpko(m): 12:05pm On Nov 10, 2022
Worriedwife:


She is a woman,, read again
dey don't
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by AnitaofEurope: 12:07pm On Nov 10, 2022
Enacto:
Good evening, this is my first time posting here and it because I'm kinda troubled pls I will need you guys to help me on this issue.

Since 2020 I have not been in good terms with my dad, and it all started with a little fight about drinking of the water in the fridge and my dad decided to lock the sitting room where the fridge was kept restricting my mom and myself to the room alone as at this time I was in 400lvl and 24years.

My dad doesn't drop money and home so I had to look for means to feed myself which was really new to me cos he has been the one sending money to me in school even thou he doesn't drop at home.

After then we kept having issues about him not giving me a private room in the house even up till now, then on a day like that an issue happened after I beating my 3years old niece he was so angry that he hits me severally at a conered spot that he almost hit my eyes I had to push him on the bed and ran out of the house, then the second day I packed my stuff's and left for school throughout 2021 I didn't come home till December and he didn't bother calling or sent me money not my school fee and project fee I did everything on my own.

I came home late last year and apologized and later I asked him for my school fee which I had not paid as at that time, he kept giving me excuses which I Know he has and left after much talk he gave me #50,000 out of like #150,000 but sincerely I didn't collect it cos I don't know where to get the remains then I got a job and saved up and paid.

Presently I'm very mad at him because he never cared about me or my mum, all he does with his money is to give it to his concubines. It really painful that I had to work for 7-9hours everyday while standing for 1k per day and my dad is out there spending his money for one LovePeddler.

Do u think he deserves my forgiveness??
Many Nigerian men are like this
Useless and irresponsible
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by nkpommpko(m): 12:07pm On Nov 10, 2022
Romanoff:


I didn't know that.

The post didn't say but at least, she now has an example of the kind of man to stay away from.
always in an attack mode.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by ARmanx(m): 12:08pm On Nov 10, 2022
You must always understand one golden rule as a dependant a man is jus a man and must not to be judged by his ways and flaws ….and if forced to bow …bow low until its time for u to rise again rebellion will always put you at a top spot trust me
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by magictonic(m): 12:10pm On Nov 10, 2022
I have read the comments from most people here, and I shudder.
If you havent experienced it, you will NEVER know.

One day, we (Africans) are gonna have a brutal talk about Toxic Parenting.

Take note: I am a Parent myself (grown up kids).

If you have not experienced Toxicity from Parents, just shut up.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by nkpommpko(m): 12:10pm On Nov 10, 2022
Enacto:
Good evening, this is my first time posting here and it because I'm kinda troubled pls I will need you guys to help me on this issue.

Since 2020 I have not been in good terms with my dad, and it all started with a little fight about drinking of the water in the fridge and my dad decided to lock the sitting room where the fridge was kept restricting my mom and myself to the room alone as at this time I was in 400lvl and 24years.

My dad doesn't drop money and home so I had to look for means to feed myself which was really new to me cos he has been the one sending money to me in school even thou he doesn't drop at home.

After then we kept having issues about him not giving me a private room in the house even up till now, then on a day like that an issue happened after I beating my 3years old niece he was so angry that he hits me severally at a conered spot that he almost hit my eyes I had to push him on the bed and ran out of the house, then the second day I packed my stuff's and left for school throughout 2021 I didn't come home till December and he didn't bother calling or sent me money not my school fee and project fee I did everything on my own.

I came home late last year and apologized and later I asked him for my school fee which I had not paid as at that time, he kept giving me excuses which I Know he has and left after much talk he gave me #50,000 out of like #150,000 but sincerely I didn't collect it cos I don't know where to get the remains then I got a job and saved up and paid.

Presently I'm very mad at him because he never cared about me or my mum, all he does with his money is to give it to his concubines. It really painful that I had to work for 7-9hours everyday while standing for 1k per day and my dad is out there spending his money for one LovePeddler.

Do u think he deserves my forgiveness??
your tenses are skewed, hope you don't argue with your lectures too?
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by Gentlechika(m): 12:11pm On Nov 10, 2022
Story's sketchy. From my little experience, I've learnt not to judge from one side of the story.
You didn't brother to beg your dad until you came back despite humiliating him? ( pushing him to the bed). And you expected tranquility to return? There's a process to everything, even healing is a process. Don't think it is only you who is hurt.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by AfonjaConehead: 12:22pm On Nov 10, 2022
Romanoff:


I didn't know that.

The post didn't say but at least, she now has an example of the kind of man to stay away from.
Shut up and always read and check....were you looking for pictures.
Re: My Dad And I Aren't In Good Terms by edunaragold(f): 12:25pm On Nov 10, 2022
Enacto:
Good evening, this is my first time posting here and it because I'm kinda troubled pls I will need you guys to help me on this issue.

Since 2020 I have not been in good terms with my dad, and it all started with a little fight about drinking of the water in the fridge and my dad decided to lock the sitting room where the fridge was kept restricting my mom and myself to the room alone as at this time I was in 400lvl and 24years.

My dad doesn't drop money and home so I had to look for means to feed myself which was really new to me cos he has been the one sending money to me in school even thou he doesn't drop at home.

After then we kept having issues about him not giving me a private room in the house even up till now, then on a day like that an issue happened after I beating my 3years old niece he was so angry that he hits me severally at a conered spot that he almost hit my eyes I had to push him on the bed and ran out of the house, then the second day I packed my stuff's and left for school throughout 2021 I didn't come home till December and he didn't bother calling or sent me money not my school fee and project fee I did everything on my own.

I came home late last year and apologized and later I asked him for my school fee which I had not paid as at that time, he kept giving me excuses which I Know he has and left after much talk he gave me #50,000 out of like #150,000 but sincerely I didn't collect it cos I don't know where to get the remains then I got a job and saved up and paid.

Presently I'm very mad at him because he never cared about me or my mum, all he does with his money is to give it to his concubines. It really painful that I had to work for 7-9hours everyday while standing for 1k per day and my dad is out there spending his money for one LovePeddler.

Do u think he deserves my forgiveness??
bro my storyline was much harder than yours with my dad, I fainted at that corner he cornered you, I forgive him , but it's only later after he died I came to understand his frustration on us, never the less he gave us a good education half way . I missed him wish I was there for him . So bro to err is human and to forgive is divine. Someday trust me you will miss him and growing to be like him someday.

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