Ejiakusmith:
this Op. that posted ..... going through all his write-up it's shows he doesn't have patients concerning women .....

when I was 17yrs some senior bros where discussing and I overheard them saying to get a responsible lady or woman ,, you have to make ur self responsible ,,,,,,,, since then I stamped it in my heart to live my life with that mentality

Since you had stamp it in your heart to live life with that mentality,have you get positive results?

Cheeryfeet:
The first two I could understand, but the third, I don't get, in the first engagement you said the girl was boring, you did most of the talking, now on the third, you have someone that was eager to discuss a very voluminous and broad topic that you could use to actively engage her non stop for the next six months, but all you are after is letting her know you are attracted to her, that was too sudden no wonder she came up with one liners. Cultivate friendship bro, you had better chance with the last unless it's kpekus you wanted.

Well, it not kpekus I am after... I even made it known that we can hang out and visit places together.

I am just being too overprotective cos a lot of Nigerian girls have a way they behave and I do not want to bring any kind of disrespect to my person or a case where it look like I am forcing myself on someone.

EdiskyHarry:
Well my biggest problem now is how to expand my business

lol...I used to be like you who think money and business is the koko... if you dont learn how women operate, you will suffer for it. Money is not everything... I dey hustle like mad...

Ogaonos:
hw old are dis lady .am sure they around 24 yrs below.

They are likely above 24.

bestdudes:
It depends on my motive for getting close to them... I have those whom I just want to be friends with and I have those whom I would want to date. It is not all I want to date.

But if she is good on rapport levels and I feel she is a good communicator, very direct and open, I might try. I am someone who loves good communication and maintaining a good energy balance.

I do not like unnecessary "forming" like the lady who chose to lie over a simple thing that she does not have airtime to reply. And if she says NO, I walk away.

So why did you ask this specifically? Is there something you are trying to find out?

Okay. Yea there is. Although it is obvious the ladies you mentioned aren't interested in you, not every lady "forms" when they want friendship before any relationship. I may be wrong but if some men are of the opinion that they want someone who hasn't had body counts before, then they shouldn't expect ladies to just jump into a relationship without getting to be friends first because the truth is that, unless a man is actually ready (within a year) to marry, it's hard to find men who will date a lady without having sex. I dunno if you understand Some will want to test the product before buying it. What now happens if they aren't compatible sexually? Shey that's how the lady will be jumping from one guy to another to find her match?

In conclusion lol, what I'm saying is that friendship is the basis of every relationship. When love fades, friendship still stands. It doesn't mean you'll be friends for years or something before dating. It just in a way, helps you understand the person better than when you're dating and you're both putting your best foot forward and trying to hide your flaws.

Again, I may be wrong lol.

bestdudes:
My male friends do not see anything wrong with me... so why should I bother about a gender that makes poor judgment?

I am one of the kindest people you will ever come across, a flaw if not properly managed.

Also, the summary of my thread is about basic human decency... They lack it. WE ARE NOT EVEN TALKING about relationship or dating now because I discarded these girls in the "lets get to know each other" phase. I have not asked them out.

When it comes to Women forget about basic human decency, only your guys can acknowledge that.
And stop been too kind....it makes you kind of too nice, women don't like nice guys.
Be good, but be cocky and unapologetic, that will get you far.
And never spend your energy and time on Women.
I learnt this from experience......

AbujaMenFashion:

Chairman is attracted to big nyash, popping skin, and big breast

Although these features do not Guarantee Long Lasting Relationship,
It is a Crime to look out for these features?

In all your experiences all I can deduce is you lack game. Women naturally take anything that has to do with their opposite gender for a game. So if you lack game you prolly gonna suffer in their hands whether you have good intentions or not.

Like where you were asking her if she is another relationship already sold you out as someone who know nothing about game. You don't ask a woman you wanna smash or get into a relationship if she's in a relationship.

A woman should be the one to ask you "what are we" "Are we in a relationship" or "what do we call this thing we are doing?"
Not the other way round. Na why guys wey still dey ask girls out always losing or being taken for granted. Learn game

bestdudes:
They are likely above 24.

i read thru ur write up.no b only u such as happen to.the truth is the1st girl is d i jux want to enter social platform because am bored.a guy wrote a thread about it on nairaland they are time wasters.
2nd lady is d normal money cautions lady which is common in ladies of nwadays which is caused by yahoo bois excessive expensive .
3rd lady is nt intrested maybe she has a bf or ecpnomic situation has make her focus on making money.
NUTSHELL IS NIGERIAN LADIES DNT KNW HW TO CHAT ND HAVE LOW SENSE OF HUMOR.COMPARE TO WHITES OR NIGERIAN BAE WHERE JAKPA GO ABOARD ND CHANGE HER NIGERIA LADY MENTALITY.

Ekejoestar:
Only a girl with low self-esteem will try to form to a guy. Run away from such women

It is normal for a Lady to do that: to Avoid the feeling of being too cheap to get. its called: Anti-Slut Mechanism ASD
so as a guy, you need to be a little more persistent OR free am if you don't have time (which is a luxury)

olabrinks:
The first girl could’ve just been an introvert. Maybe she doesn’t like phone calls or texts and unnecessary small talk. It’s very draining to some people.

Then he did well to leave her alone, he shouldn't go about convincing people to pick up their phone, should he?

Divay2:
Whatever

If you are not a Virgin don't come closer to me

I welcome only Virgins in my Life

Don't say i did not warn you

Lol, okay na, let me help you loud it.

bestdudes:
Lmao.. you are funny. So point out where I made a mistake and the girls are not at fault?

Did I ask them for sex or ask them for anything? What will it cost a grown-up adult to be decent in their engagement? At my age? At my age, I would leave any girl alone as soon as I see any indecent attitude or red flag.

Maybe you are the kind that tries to convince yourself that "it is not a problem, continue to try your luck and gets disrespected even further"

Gerrraheree mien

I don't think u really have a good understanding of women. That's the main problem I see.
Except u be star like davido or your wallet is heavy like E-money. No naija girl will fall for you in an instant, u need to put an effort.
Your case may be easier if u be correct handsome bobo or if u can engage girls in conversation and make them laff efortlessly- girls like guys that put them in that laughter mood.
From your post it's obvious u don't have any of the above qualities, that automatically makes you an average Joe. In that case, hit and miss will be your relationship history. Nothing to be ashamed of, majority of men falls into same category.
Forget what so call red pillers will come here to brag and teach about. That school is different from reality on the street.
As some already said, u need patience and wisdom to navigate the complexity of a woman's heart without losing yourself.
Let women know your intention but do not ask them out immediately unless you sure she's into u.
Girls know when a guy is interested in them and will react accordingly. If they give u an outright cold shoulder, drop it and move on. If their face shout YES, then go for it if u like what u see.
However, for your likes most women will take a cool and cautious approach. It means u are one of the many men approaching her, u not top spot but maybe u got potential she's considering. That's the simple truth. The way u play your game and her circumstances will determine the final outcome.

[quote author=bestdudes post=118463081] lol...I used to be like you who think money and business is the koko... if you dont learn how women operate, you will suffer for it. M my problem is dt we d male gender ignore male child nd iz causing problem.what bestdudes has outline is a big problem dt we guys are facing.nd no one is teaching we guys hw to solve d problem
for example,hw to chatup a lady as a student nd as a graduate wrking
hw to sustain conversation with a nigerian lady bcoz they cant bring up conversation
what topic do ladies esp nigerian ladies love to gist about (for we guys is football english premier league to be precise ,while old men is politics is their favourite topic while women ( married /older women)na to gossip other pple family nd marriges.or marriages.but ladies nd bae i no knw don try find no fit get a single clue

Thattallgirl:
Okay. Yea there is. Although it is obvious the ladies you mentioned aren't interested in you, not every lady "forms" when they want friendship before any relationship

Even if you are not interested in a person, is that a reason to lack basic human decency?

I may be wrong but if some men are of the opinion that they want someone who hasn't had body counts before, then they shouldn't expect ladies to just jump into a relationship without getting to be friends first because the truth is that, unless a man is actually ready (within a year) to marry, it's hard to find men who will date a lady without having sex. I dunno if you understand

I have ended up 3 relationships without sex. You can't even tie me down with sex cos I do not bond with women via sex. It is not about sex for me. It is how you engage me, how you communicate and you reciprocate. I do not even belong to guys who rate this virginity and that is because of my experience, Being a virgin does not mean you are a good person,

Some will want to test the product before buying it. What now happens if they aren't compatible sexually? Shey that's how the lady will be jumping from one guy to another to find her match?

I get but at least, maintain some good rapport with whomever you are interacting with, especially when they have not talked about sex or dating you but trying to know you on basic levels. There is something called courtesy, Maintain it. It does not cause a dime.

In conclusion lol, what I'm saying is that friendship is the basis of every relationship. When love fades, friendship still stands. It doesn't mean you'll be friends for years or something before dating. It just in a way, helps you understand the person better than when you're dating and you're both putting your best foot forward and trying to hide your flaws. Again, I may be wrong lol.

How can you be friends with people who have the kind of character that I described? For instance, I wanted a situation whereby I and the 3rd girl, cos she is my location, can visit places together, and have some interactions like friends would, which is something I have even told her and the best she can do to engage in with one-liners. Mind you I didn't ever mention she should visit my house, that is left to her. She is not ready.

I met a lady on fb ,we dey talk and I asked her what she studied,she said the question is unnecessary that wether I wan give her job.I just blocked her immidiately abeg,I cant shout.

wirinet:


Gbam!
Guy is no player. Players don't give up on flimsy excuses. So he expect the babe (a Nigerian babe for that matter) to agree just like that? That may be how other babes roll, but not 9ja babes. Nigerian babes that's not a runs babe expect you to work hard before agreeing to date you (even if she has a crush on you)

In the write up, the OP did not state what exactly he wanted - sex, love, friendship, social media friend? He expects the girls to read his mind.

it is people like you that make girls take men for granted. Simp. These liabilities have nothing to offer yet you work hard to have them. A girl who is serious will never play hard to get when there are millions of options for men. Dey there dey do reason like mumu

Na you get time to dey impress women .

Find am something, knack her once or twice and jejely move on , let other niggas chop too. Don't be selfish .

Treat women as business

SIRTee15:


I don't think u really have a good understanding of women. That's the main problem I see.
Except u be star like davido or your wallet is heavy like E-money. No naija girl will fall for you in an instant, u need to put an effort.
Your case may be easier if u be correct handsome bobo or if u can engage girls in conversation and make them laff efortlessly.
From your post it's obvious u don't have any of the above qualities, that automatically makes you an average Joe. In that case, hit and miss will be your relationship history. Nothing to be ashamed of, majority of men falls into same category.
Forget what so call red pillers will come here to brag and teach about. That school is different from reality on the street.
As some already said, u need patience and wisdom to navigate the complexity of a woman's heart without losing yourself.
Let women know your intention but do not ask them out immediately unless you sure she's into u.
Girls know when a guy is interested in them and will react accordingly. If they give u an outright cold shoulder, drop it and move on. If their face shout YES, then go for it if u like what u see.
However, for your likes most women will take a cool and cautious approach. It means u are one of the many men approaching her, u not top spot but maybe u got potential she's considering. That's the simple truth. The way u play your game and her circumstances will determine her reaction.

You have a point to some extent and I am not even talking about being perfect. I am talking about basic human decency which seems to be lacking in these girls.

Let's forget about relationship or whatever.

bestdudes:
lol...I used to be like you who think money and business is the koko... if you dont learn how women operate, you will suffer for it. Money is not everything... I dey hustle like mad...

Lol, if you have been in Nigeria for the past ten years, by now you should have known how women operate in this part of the world.

wirinet:


Gbam!
Guy is no player. Players don't give up on flimsy excuses. So he expect the babe (a Nigerian babe for that matter) to agree just like that? That may be how other babes roll, but not 9ja babes. Nigerian babes that's not a runs babe expect you to work hard before agreeing to date you (even if she has a crush on you)

In the write up, the OP did not state what exactly he wanted - sex, love, friendship, social media friend? He expects the girls to read his mind.

lol boss, na cos I know u for long sha... but you do not force things with women. Let the ones who return your energy be kept and let the others go. It saves everyone time.

DoMeGood09:
The problem here was you acted desperate. Next time, do not be desperate on women. If a woman is beautiful, tell her that she’s ugly.

I told a pretty young lady last week that I cannot date her and she asked me why, I said to her that because she’s can’t measure up. Ever since then, she’s been calling me. What works for women is the opposite.

But if she's really ugly and you tell her that he no go work o

Ogaonos:
i read thru ur write up.no b only u such as happen to.the truth is the1st girl is d i jux want to enter social platform because am bored.a guy wrote a thread about it on nairaland they are time wasters.
2nd lady is d normal money cautions lady which is common in ladies of nwadays which is caused by yahoo bois excessive expensive .
3rd lady is nt intrested maybe she has a bf or ecpnomic situation has make her focus on making money.
NUTSHELL IS NIGERIAN LADIES DNT KNW HW TO CHAT ND HAVE LOW SENSE OF HUMOR.COMPARE TO WHITES OR NIGERIAN BAE WHERE JAKPA GO ABOARD ND CHANGE HER NIGERIA LADY MENTALITY.

You summed it up perfectedly, It is why I let the first one go because I know she has many dudes on queue.

yeah, that second one is money driven and I didnt even waste time. the 3rd one is weird....

Though I agree with op but I have one thing against you. Let’s say an ugly girl that you sense is crushing on you, texted you like you did. I guess you may look for a way to end the conversation instead of carrying her along.

SPAMBOX7:
But if she's really ugly and you tell her that he no go work o

Hahaha. If she’s ugly, I would tell her that she’s pretty. I could recall some time ago, I met this pretty young lady, just told her that she looks ugly and that sparked her curious towards but unfortunately, she wasn’t a wife material.

Basalt:


I think I am going to adopt this method. I was chatting with a very pretty girl I met on Facebook and somehow got attracted to her. We moved from Facebook to Whatsapp, then she told me of her birthday coming up and complained earlier that her phone was very bad and she might take it to the repairer and might not pick my calls incase she was not with the phone. I was planning on how to surprise her with a brand new samsung phone on her birthday (she uses Techno and it hangs alot).
Then few days to the birthday, I saw her upload a handsome guy on her status and wished him happy birthday with kisses and love emoji (something she never used for me), I jokinly asked her if the guy is her boyfriend and she said YES.
I started withdrawing myself and the communication died off. That was how I wasted my time for 6 months.
I need to start being direct and more straightforward about my intentions.
Honestly, I fell in love with this girl and even planning of marrying her not knowing that she has a boyfriend.

You should try to be open.... She's not going to bite you....

Aaaaarghmed:
I met a lady on fb ,we dey talk and I asked her what she studied,she said the question is unnecessary that wether I wan give her job.I just blocked her immidiately abeg,I cant shout.

Loool. I don laugh tire. Some ladies are very useless bro.

I have just finished reading a story of a guy who is advertising his singlehood/bachelorhood .

To all my single ladies, hurry up and grab your man asap

bestdudes:


Even if you are not interested in a person, is that a reason to lack basic human decency?

I know. I wasn't against you ignoring those three. That's why I said it's obvious they're not interested in any form of communication with you.

I have ended up 3 relationships without sex. You can't even tie me down with sex cos I do not bond with women via sex. It is not about sex for me. It is how you engage me, how you communicate and you reciprocate. I do not even belong to guys who rate this virginity and that is because of my experience, Being a virgin does not mean you are a good person,

Cool. I was only telling you not all ladies who do not say yes to date a guy who showed interest is forming. I'm not talking about you rating virginity. I'm saying it's one of the many reasons some ladies decide to hold on before saying yes to any guy who probably in the next 5 years may not want to marry, and with no guarantee that they'll end up together. Every lady with her own reasons on why she wants friendship first but some guys are not patient enough to see if she's gonna be worth it after all. (again I'm not talking about the three ladies)

I get but at least, maintain some good rapport with whomever you are interacting with, especially when they have not talked about sex or dating you but trying to know you on basic levels. There is something called courtesy, Maintain it. It does not cause a dime.

I get. I like good communication too but I can't force anyone to also have basic human decency. If they don't, that's fine. It's up to me to leave or stay and give the person the benefit of the doubt.

How can you be friends with people who have the kind of character that I described? For instance, I wanted a situation whereby I and the 3rd girl, cos she is my location, can visit places together, and have some interactions like friends would, which is something I have even told her and the best she can do to engage in with one-liners. Mind you I didn't ever mention she should visit my house, that is left to her. She is not ready.

I wasn't talking about those three girls. I only mentioned them when I said they weren't interested. I'm talking about someone new that you guys are chatting and all that. I'm not saying you should be friends with someone who isn't even ready to have a conversation with you.

Odebayo4010:


Op, you're bad Comrade,am very sure you should have contact HIV because you most have Bleep tired

I went for test today.
It came out negative

Indispensable85:
Apart from the one that was all about money, I think you were too impatient with the other two. You need patience to woo a woman successfully. Those initial shakara is normal with that gender. You must know this and get ready for the long walk. My Sunshine did shakara for me for several months. Most times she took days to reply my messages. But I was very patient with her because I already saw what I wanted in my wife in her. After several months I discovered she started coming through gradually, conversations got better,replies became quicker,calls and messages became mutual as against the one way it was for several months. It was the following year she gave me a chance and today she's my wife. There was something she told me later that shocked me. She said I broke her defence with my patience and tolerance. She said her initial attitude was intentional because she wanted a man that is patient and tolerant because of her previous experiences with men. I thank God everyday for bringing her my way. She's been an amazing human being over these years.

Don't be Over joyous About all these .....
They have Inner, Deeper Meanings......