Greattestman:
There's nothing i dont do. I give her 50% of my salary every month.

More reason you should move out and invest in yourself. Move out of ur comfort zone.

NigeriaIsGreat:
LOl

Sorry sir, your son must be very funny to have assumed you will deprive him his daily meal living alone. He is such a comic to have come up with that

My son of 30 years currently staying with me still want me to continue taking care of him,feeding him 3 times daily. When would he be of age.?This is the argument.

Greattestman:
You kudos my mother without putting yourself in my shoes.

guy move out take it as a step to ur success, speaking from experience. I also was sent out by my mom at the age of 21 with no hope, u are even lucky making monthly earnings i on the other hand was absolutely nothing but now am an operator in julius berger company earning not less than 180k

Greattestman:
You kudos my mother without putting yourself in my shoes.

the shoes no go size am.

Greattestman:
This issue has been eating me up for so long and i don't know what to do. My mother began pressurizing me to rent my own house and leave her alone.

It was unprecedented and i don't expect that from her. I'm barely 20 and I teach in a private school. I also do home lessons so my monthly income ranges from 25k to 30k or thereabout.

This money will not be enough for me to rent a house, buy my food and take care of myself. I have tried to explain but she refused to understand with me. She told her friends to advice me to leave; that I'm matured enough to live alone.

I'm pressed and I need your advice.

I don't know her genuine reasons though.

But what she doesn't know is that “Loneliness begets depression”..

What if you leave her and forget about her?
And she starts begging you to visit, and you keep giving excuses of being so busy?

People like you exemplify the typical Nigerian laziness!
He is 20yrs old, YES she is doing him a favor! He is an adult and should be able to fend for himself from 19yrs old. Even if he does as little as regularly buy the soup seasoning, salt, soap and toothpaste used in the house monthly that won’t cost him more than 5k a month to support the family.
Being financially responsible like the example I mentioned and complementing it with house chores makes him indispensable in the house.
Nigerians should learn to ADD VALUE in any little way, instead of being entitled & expecting freebies/handouts from everyone!
If you say ‘on top how much’, if his mum dies, won’t he survive on whatever he is earning? Won’t he make more efforts to earn more & meet his financial obligations & needs. It is a tough world out there & the earlier the young man realizes there is no free meal or accommodation anywhere the better for him!

UyaiIncomparabl:


On top how much? Is she doing him a favour? Isn't he supposed to be her son again?

Tzar:
People like you exemplify the typical Nigerian laziness!
He is 20yrs old, YES she is doing him a favor! He is an adult and should be able to fend for himself from 19yrs old. Even if he does as little as regularly buy the soup seasoning, salt, soap and toothpaste used in the house monthly that won’t cost him more than 5k a month to support the family.
Being financially responsible like the example I mentioned and complementing it with house chores makes him indispensable in the house.
Nigerians should learn to ADD VALUE in any little way, instead of being entitled & expecting freebies/handouts from everyone!
If you say ‘on top how much’, if his mum dies, won’t he survive on whatever he is earning? Won’t he make more efforts to earn more & meet his financial obligations & needs. It is a tough world out there & the earlier the young man realizes there is no free meal or accommodation anywhere the better for him!

Hello, what are you saying? Entitlement and freebies to a parent that should be all about his welfare? Did he ask to be born? His parent chose to birth him, so the onus is on them to take care of him till he's an adult and financially independent to lean on his strength. An adult may be 18 years old and above, but to me, that boy is just a boy who under normal circumstances should be under the tutelage of a skill acquisition program or in school like his agemates.

Did he mention living off his mother or what are you trying to insinuate exactly? We are talking about a boy who earns a paltry sum of 20k that can't afford a standard bedroom and other miscellaneous expenditures and you are here saying we are exemplifying laziness.

Sorry, Mr hard worker, but this is Nigeria. It doesn't work that way in this part of the world. In saner climes, they have these basic needs that are luxuries over here for free (student loans, free medics etc), so should they be found wanting, they turn to these options. Is it so over here?

If I had a son today, what business does he have living on his own at 20? You can teach kids how to be responsible without forcing them to be adults when they are unprepared for that terrain. Taking responsibility surpasses living all by yourself or paying rent. Besides, did the boy mention he doesn't take on certain responsibilities at home? You all jumped to that conclusion. So, if at 35, I still stay with my parents, I am irresponsible? You are a joke.

maybe she is tired of always playing away matches.. she wants home games

I grew in the trenches but my parents kept me away from outside even when I requested to learn a skill. Yet they were not able to make me comfortable. I felt like a child from the city but son of the streets.
You should be grateful she did that. Go all out.

Greattestman:
This issue has been eating me up for so long and i don't know what to do. My mother began pressurizing me to rent my own house and leave her alone.

It was unprecedented and i don't expect that from her. I'm barely 20 and I teach in a private school. I also do home lessons so my monthly income ranges from 25k to 30k or thereabout.

This money will not be enough for me to rent a house, buy my food and take care of myself. I have tried to explain but she refused to understand with me. She told her friends to advice me to leave; that I'm matured enough to live alone.

I'm pressed and I need your advice.

Those advising to move out will not even move out if in your shoes.
How can one live alone on a monthly salary of 25-30k? It's easy to turn to crime when all fails. And believe me, the chance of thriving in Nigeria with such meager salary is slim to none.
Your mum is wrong to ask you to leave and she must be doing this probably because she has seen how other young kids are living large without even wondering what their source of income is.

Greattestman:
This issue has been eating me up for so long and i don't know what to do. My mother began pressurizing me to rent my own house and leave her alone.

It was unprecedented and i don't expect that from her. I'm barely 20 and I teach in a private school. I also do home lessons so my monthly income ranges from 25k to 30k or thereabout.

This money will not be enough for me to rent a house, buy my food and take care of myself. I have tried to explain but she refused to understand with me. She told her friends to advice me to leave; that I'm matured enough to live alone.

I'm pressed and I need your advice.

Poverty is a stupid bastard o

Abfinest007:
All mom are like this. Look for a roommate and rest d house together believe me u do more better

Pls all mom are not that way. My mom practically did not want me to leave the family house.

Berankis:

I feel like your "strong 2:1" and your "first class jobless friends" are part of the reasons you haven't gone ahead with your life. The day you decipher life and ready to battle, is the day you to start to overcome.

expantiate biko on this deciphering life aspect cos i've run out of ideas to give younger ones hope. Even we wey be hunkles now need advice, for this regime no income is enough. Egg 100, action bitter satchet 150, dollar 800, bike 400k, motor 4milla, land nko?

Romanoff:


"If".

Meaning??

Your mom is not pursuing you from her presence rather she wants you to be a man.
Twenty five thousand naira or so is enough for you to start living on your own.
I am also in Jalingo Taraba state, an indigene for that matter, we all hustle on our own without the effort of our parents, though not because they don't care but for our own good. And I know you too can do it too.
Good luck to your journey of life.

1. I agree that he didn’t ask to be brought to this world, but like you said he becomes an adult at 18yrs old. That is where his parents obligations end! Anything else he gets from them is a privilege and all parents who sustain you above 19yrs should be appreciated and worshipped! The ONUS you talk about stops at 19yrs MAX!
2. I live abroad and hate to hear this Nigerian rubbish about free student loans or health insurance. NOTHING IS FREE ABROAD! You pay for it! If Nigerians are taxed the way we are here, they will go crazy!
3. If he doesn’t live off his mother, then he should either live up to her expectations as an adult in her home or go live alone! Who gave you the right to dictate how she treats a full gown adult in her home?
4. People like you will excuse a full grown adult till their 40’s living off others , just because ‘THEY DIDN’T ASK TO BE BIRTHED’!

Typical entitled and lazy NIGERIAN!

UyaiIncomparabl:


Hello, what are you saying? Entitlement and freebies to a parent that should be all about his welfare? Did he ask to be born? His parent chose to birth him, so the onus is on them to take care of him till he's an adult and financially independent to lean on his strength. An adult may be 18 years old and above, but to me, that boy is just a boy who under normal circumstances should be under the tutelage of a skill acquisition program or in school like his agemates.

Did he mention living off his mother or what are you trying to insinuate exactly? We are talking about a boy who earns a paltry sum of 20k that can't afford a standard bedroom and other miscellaneous expenditures and you are here saying we are exemplifying laziness.

Sorry, Mr hard worker, but this is Nigeria. It doesn't work that way in this part of the world. In saner climes, they have these basic needs that are luxuries over here for free (student loans, free medics etc), so should they be found wanting, they turn to these options. Is it so over here?

If I had a son today, what business does he have living on his own at 20? You can teach kids how to be responsible without forcing them to be adults when they are unprepared for that terrain. Taking responsibility surpasses living all by yourself or paying rent. Besides, did the boy mention he doesn't take on certain responsibilities at home? You all jumped to that conclusion. So, if at 35, I still stay with my parents, I am irresponsible? You are a joke.

I hope what mum means by moving out is moving to SCHOOL where she can help with fees etc then u can hustle small too to help yourself?

Really

Tzar:
1. I agree that he didn’t ask to be brought to this world, but like you said he becomes an adult at 18yrs old. That is where his parents obligations end! Anything else he gets from them is a privilege and all parents who sustain you above 19yrs should be appreciated and worshipped! The ONUS you talk about stops at 19yrs MAX!
2. I live abroad and hate to hear this Nigerian rubbish about free student loans or health insurance. NOTHING IS FREE ABROAD! You pay for it! If Nigerians are taxed the way we are here, they will go crazy!
3. If he doesn’t live off his mother, then he should either live up to her expectations as an adult in her home or go live alone! Who gave you the right to dictate how she treats a full gown adult in her home?
4. People like you will excuse a full grown adult till their 40’s living off others , just because ‘THEY DIDN’T ASK TO BE BIRTHED’!

Typical entitled and lazy NIGERIAN!

Mr Tzar, rest and stop blabbing too much. Raise your kids that way and don't force your narrative on another person. Why not come back from your abroad and start living here on 20K and let's see how far you'll last. Typical diasporans, always stanning and motivating. Throw your sons and daughters out of the house when they are 18 years, that's your business.

Who also gave you the right to dictate how a mother should treat her son? It's either you are out of touch with the world or you are being intentionally ignorant. I should worship my parent whose responsibility it is to take care of me on earth? It was their choice to birth me, I didn't ask for it. You are just a joke and I will appreciate it if you do not quote me again, Mr hard worker.

Greattestman:
This issue has been eating me up for so long and i don't know what to do. My mother began pressurizing me to rent my own house and leave her alone.

It was unprecedented and i don't expect that from her. I'm barely 20 and I teach in a private school. I also do home lessons so my monthly income ranges from 25k to 30k or thereabout.

This money will not be enough for me to rent a house, buy my food and take care of myself. I have tried to explain but she refused to understand with me. She told her friends to advice me to leave; that I'm matured enough to live alone.

I'm pressed and I need your advice.

don't go

Greattestman:
This issue has been eating me up for so long and i don't know what to do. My mother began pressurizing me to rent my own house and leave her alone.

It was unprecedented and i don't expect that from her. I'm barely 20 and I teach in a private school. I also do home lessons so my monthly income ranges from 25k to 30k or thereabout.

This money will not be enough for me to rent a house, buy my food and take care of myself. I have tried to explain but she refused to understand with me. She told her friends to advice me to leave; that I'm matured enough to live alone.

I'm pressed and I need your advice.

What subjects do you teach? Any languages? I am asking because you can diversify your source of income by teaching online. If you you teach a language, you can target foreigners and charge about $25 an hour for adults and $15 for children. Let me tell you something, if your mother keeps insisting you move out, go ahead and do it to maintain respect. Family members can disrespect one when it seems like they don’t have much going on for them. I promise you’ll be fine. I started living on my own at 22. You’ll do okay. Put the fear behind you & fix your mind on side hustles that could give you extra cash.

To the OP your mom doesn't like you.
At 20 any money you get should be for you, with some little household contribution.
If you move out with this salary, sakpa and shege will be your friend.
Let's be realistic.

Tell her to build a house for you to move into na...
My Dear, please don't rush it if you're not ready, we a still in Nigeria. But please, give her some good space and sometimes, help to pay few bills you can afford.
It's not your fault you were born in a very unserious Country, where Parents would expect a lad/las to become adults overnihtwithout appropriate trainings/guidance and support systems.

Pele! Lazy, parasitic and entitled Nigerian!
Always looking for an excuse to sponge on others.
I know your type. I also understand your defense in solidarity!

UyaiIncomparabl:


Mr Tzar, rest and stop blabbing too much. Raise your kids that way and don't force your narrative on another person. Why not come back from your abroad and start living here on 20K and let's see how far you'll last. Typical diasporans, always stanning and motivating. Throw your sons and daughters out of the house when they are 18 years, that's your business.

Who also gave you the right to dictate how a mother should treat her son? It's either you are out of touch with the world or you are being intentionally ignorant. I should worship my parent whose responsibility it is to take care of me on earth? It was their choice to birth me, I didn't ask for it. You are just a joke and I will appreciate it if you do not quote me again, Mr hard worker.

Welcome to nairaland where every nairalander left their father's house at age 16, became millionaires at 20, doesn't need their parents money or entitled to it. A home of hard-working youths, self made millionaires. They're not entitled to their siblings wealth, they don't also see the need to help love ones. The motto is: Go and make money, by all means don't depend on any man.

Reality: life outside nairaland is different. Majority of folks here are not what they are projecting.

Incredible128:
The people here are wicked, which kind of mother do u have? That's very unthoughtful of her considering how harsh the economy is and who the hell pushes a 20year old out of the house?

The things gbola cannot do doesn’t exist. If you hear some stories you’ll wither.

ENDTIMEISNEAR:
the best comments here. maybe the op is not helping in paying bills at home or there's something bad the op is doing. Op come tell us the truth

OP is definitely making life unbearable for the ‘incoming’ dad.