piecuntie:
HI NAIRALANDERS ;
I am about to seperate from husband who sponsored me in school because I am fed up.

I came from a very poor family. I met my husband when I was 19. He wasn't doing well either, he told me he was an engineer in a public hospital but as time went on I got to know he was a level 3 plumber in the civil service.

Well I was young, naive, hungry and blindly in love. He went to trade school and I encouraged him to go back to school for HND or bsc but he said he was going to sponsor me first. I got pregnant for him in my first year in school when I was 20yrs old, my mom was against it. I got to know he was 13years older than me while pregnant. HE TOLD ME HE WAS 26yrs old.

My mom wanted me to abort it, instead i packed my things and stayed with him.
He abused my mom and I defended him. I gave birth while in school and he continued to support me both financially. We fought during those period, series of red flag but I decided to ignore it as long he wasn't beating me. He abused me emotionally. He knew my family was poor and there was no where i could go.

I finished school and my friends told me not to marry a plumber, I declined and told them he promised to go to school.

I finished school and i was scared of depending on him with my child, we were not doing fine at all.

I had no choice than to date a rich guy who helped me with a good job in the year 2017. HE got to know about the guy and i broke up with him. I apologized and we GOT MARRIED LEGALLY and got pregnant with my second child. We spent only 150k.

All the money i made from my salary, I made sure i supported him, i moved out of the family house in the year 2019, we have been there for 8yrs, he couldnt afford to rent a house, I spent 400k, both of us had no friends, we only had each other. I helped my brother and they did well in business. I asked my husband to go back to school, he was still adamant.

We went to a traditional person and they told him there is a curse on his head that i should bathe and do some sacrifice for him, which i did.

By year 2020 he was doing fine, we didn't even go hungry during the lockdown, I supported him with 2million naira and we did our traditional marriage.

IT was his business patners who were notorious cheat and neglected their wife that did his groom men, They introduced him to an association, i have asked him what is the aim of the association, he cant tell me, it is a secret.

3 months after the wedding, he started cheating and even beat me for the first time on our wedding anniversary becaus of the girl,
When he saw i withdrawed all financia assistant like paying half of the rent and paying one of the kids school fees. he called family members to beg me and we settled and i bought a family car for us to use.

Since then i have been walking on eggs around him, he tells me i should respect his age that we are not mate, he beat me again last 3 months saying i am as proud as my mother and i abused his mother back.

This monday i had to run after bus to go to work because i told im i was looking for mOney, and he said i just call him a thief. I had no money on me i had to call my brother to give me money. He wasnt even bothered. He doesn't call me again, WE DONT GO OUT AGAIN


I don't stress him for expensive outing our wigs or phone.
I bought my phone or trip myself out. He would rather hang out with his friends. He tells his friends and the kids i wear cheap outfits.

My mind is now strong. I don't cry again if he offends me nor complain.

I want to divorce him , sell the car and use it for this UK study route and take my children as dependent without him knowing. I am tired of the marriage already. He is 44 while I am 31. i want to move on with my life.

Sorry for the long write up

Rubbiish:

U won't understand till u get there, I still believe u are under 45 yrs & there is no explanation I will give that will make u to understand, till u get older. I quoted u because I was once like u. One thing u should know is if it was better to live without kids or get married, ur parents wouldn't give birth to u, the society would have adopted this approach of singleness, moreover nobody wants to suffer, raising kids. But as u start approaching 50 yrs without a family or child, u will understand...

rickpat:
if you're truly fed up..YOU WON'T SEEK ANY ADVISE...

good luck

GoooodHardDick:


I can bet my balls that she isn't relocating to any UK. Don't be deceived bro. She's planning on going to leave with that Rich dude.

Chai!

Too much sense no go keel u!.

Immediately I read that d guy hit him it activated my mumu button.

I no dey like to hear say man hit woman.

kay29000:


Exactly. See how she said it so nonchalantly, as if it is nothing.

bestman09:

I hate any form of abuse, both physical and emotional in marriages. You have a thousand reasons to divorce him but one reason to rebuild the marriage. There are 3 sides to a story, (1) your side of the story (2) your husband's side of the story and (3) the truth about everything. Have you asked yourself about what would have happened if he didn't sponsor you in school at his own expense?

I have a blood sister that the husband sponsored to the UK about 14 years ago and sent her to nursing school. She became a citizen, rich while the man was deported about 5 years ago because of Visa issues. Now she divorced the man over some flimsy excuse 2 years ago despite the 3 children they have.

Women with power and wealth tends to take their men for granted

udeh3:


I went through her narration, and I didn't see where the man lied. He was a civil servant. Many things are really wrong with Africans, and one is the lack of proper education. Do you know there's dignity in labour. Why pressuring him to go to school? In UK or US, a plumber makes more money than a medical doctor. Non is inferior to the other, only in Africa

This is somebody that didn't look back, but sacrificed for you to go to school without thinking it twice. He preferred her going to school than training himself. Can this lady do same if she was in this guy's shoe? You finished and dated a rich dude... If not love for money, why do that? You went back to him and married him this time. Money came, yes, through you! Did her altitude changed or not when the money came?

She attested that the guy never raised a hand on her even when they were suffering... Suffering should bring in anger and not the other way round. Now, he's beating you, so, what changed in you? What were the things you were saying to him now that made him hit you?

When I condemn hitting your partner, are you also free from bad behaviors?

kay29000:
You cheated on him first... I have nothing more to say.

Greenfusion:
Your story seem incomplete, i didn't want to go the religious route, but i have to, holding God genuinely is very important, note this please.

You have only talked about your husband's weakness but not yours.
I assume alot of these started after you cheated on him, and i hope you didn't have more flings, men are never happy when their ladies cheat, it can totally change a man to a beast. It takes an extra grace to make that man normal. When that man see you, i assume he sees you like trash, those things may still be ringing in his head.

Involve your God, talk to your man with sincerity and respect, he once loved you dearly, genuinely change your own bad character, pray for your man and marriage. You can involve his close friend after you have tried the above without success.

Most importantly, pray for your man and marriage, respect your man, change your own bad character, and change genuinely.

You may not need divorce.
Outside nor too easy, try everything possible to keep your marriage in peace.

Remember the whole decision and action is all yours as well as the consequences of your next action, so mind your next action...pele

bestman09:

I hate any form of abuse, both physical and emotional in marriages. You have a thousand reasons to divorce him but one reason to rebuild the marriage. There are 3 sides to a story, (1) your side of the story (2) your husband's side of the story and (3) the truth about everything. Have you asked yourself about what would have happened if he didn't sponsor you in school at his own expense?

I have a blood sister that the husband sponsored to the UK about 14 years ago and sent her to nursing school. She became a citizen, rich while the man was deported about 5 years ago because of Visa issues. Now she divorced the man over some flimsy excuse 2 years ago despite the 3 children they have.

Women with power and wealth tends to take their men for granted

atinga1:
Too many stories that touch in Nairaland these days.

Greenfusion:
Your story seem incomplete, i didn't want to go the religious route, but i have to, holding God genuinely is very important, note this please.

You have only talked about your husband's weakness but not yours.
I assume alot of these started after you cheated on him, and i hope you didn't have more flings, men are never happy when their ladies cheat, it can totally change a man to a beast. It takes an extra grace to make that man normal. When that man see you, i assume he sees you like trash, those things may still be ringing in his head.

Involve your God, talk to your man with sincerity and respect, he once loved you dearly, genuinely change your own bad character, pray for your man and marriage. You can involve his close friend after you have tried the above without success.

Most importantly, pray for your man and marriage, respect your man, change your own bad character, and change genuinely.

You may not need divorce.
Outside nor too easy, try everything possible to keep your marriage in peace.

Remember the whole decision and action is all yours as well as the consequences of your next action, so mind your next action...pele

nedekid:
Cannot blame you.
Its your life, do what is best for you. Besides you are still young.
Men, make sure you try to be ontop financially, if not issues will be there. When it comes to that, free the woman and don't wound yourself for something you no longer keep.

GoooodHardDick:


The olosho that has since been collecting Dick from another guy, na she u dey asked if she has someone else?

simplepee:
This is so sad, humans easily forget a million good over just one bad. Pathetic.

Kavod:

LEAVE AM.... MAKE GUYS LEARN..... E MAMA DE THERE, E SISTER E SEND GO SCHOOL? OGBENI DUST AM FASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST

MessiahMARLIANS:





She claimed that she repented.


So, I want to believe she actually did repent.


I want to know if she has someone already that she is already having sexual intimacy with.

I responded to the post even without reading the story at first.


Even after Reading up The Story, My Two Questions Remain Valid.

piecuntie:
HI NAIRALANDERS ;
I am about to seperate from husband who sponsored me in school because I am fed up.

I came from a very poor family. I met my husband when I was 19. He wasn't doing well either, he told me he was an engineer in a public hospital but as time went on I got to know he was a level 3 plumber in the civil service.

Well I was young, naive, hungry and blindly in love. He went to trade school and I encouraged him to go back to school for HND or bsc but he said he was going to sponsor me first. I got pregnant for him in my first year in school when I was 20yrs old, my mom was against it. I got to know he was 13years older than me while pregnant. HE TOLD ME HE WAS 26yrs old.

My mom wanted me to abort it, instead i packed my things and stayed with him.
He abused my mom and I defended him. I gave birth while in school and he continued to support me both financially. We fought during those period, series of red flag but I decided to ignore it as long he wasn't beating me. He abused me emotionally. He knew my family was poor and there was no where i could go.

I finished school and my friends told me not to marry a plumber, I declined and told them he promised to go to school.

I finished school and i was scared of depending on him with my child, we were not doing fine at all.

I had no choice than to date a rich guy who helped me with a good job in the year 2017. HE got to know about the guy and i broke up with him. I apologized and we GOT MARRIED LEGALLY and got pregnant with my second child. We spent only 150k.

All the money i made from my salary, I made sure i supported him, i moved out of the family house in the year 2019, we have been there for 8yrs, he couldnt afford to rent a house, I spent 400k, both of us had no friends, we only had each other. I helped my brother and they did well in business. I asked my husband to go back to school, he was still adamant.

We went to a traditional person and they told him there is a curse on his head that i should bathe and do some sacrifice for him, which i did.

By year 2020 he was doing fine, we didn't even go hungry during the lockdown, I supported him with 2million naira and we did our traditional marriage.

IT was his business patners who were notorious cheat and neglected their wife that did his groom men, They introduced him to an association, i have asked him what is the aim of the association, he cant tell me, it is a secret.

3 months after the wedding, he started cheating and even beat me for the first time on our wedding anniversary becaus of the girl,
When he saw i withdrawed all financia assistant like paying half of the rent and paying one of the kids school fees. he called family members to beg me and we settled and i bought a family car for us to use.

Since then i have been walking on eggs around him, he tells me i should respect his age that we are not mate, he beat me again last 3 months saying i am as proud as my mother and i abused his mother back.

This monday i had to run after bus to go to work because i told im i was looking for mOney, and he said i just call him a thief. I had no money on me i had to call my brother to give me money. He wasnt even bothered. He doesn't call me again, WE DONT GO OUT AGAIN


I don't stress him for expensive outing our wigs or phone.
I bought my phone or trip myself out. He would rather hang out with his friends. He tells his friends and the kids i wear cheap outfits.

My mind is now strong. I don't cry again if he offends me nor complain.

I want to divorce him , sell the car and use it for this UK study route and take my children as dependent without him knowing. I am tired of the marriage already. He is 44 while I am 31. i want to move on with my life.

Sorry for the long write up

Klass99:


At the bolded
I knew I liked you for a reason.
It helps that you are a James Patterson fan too.

safarigirl:


Sensiima.

Sensory board

The woman admitted to cheating on him to secure a job, even before they married. If this man had any regard for himself, he would never have married her to begin with. But he married her, and she too has made sacrifices in the marriage in her own rights, so, ojoro cancel ojoro.

If his only crime was even cheating, shebi she will know how to handle herself? But a cheat and an abuser, who is also a loafer?

A man that decided not to further himself, despite how many times his wife urged him to, but just passed off the reins of provider and nurturer to her, while he enjoyed the company of other women, is just the kind of man so many of you come here to make excuses for.


It is well, tomorrow, when his kids refuse to identify with the mess he has made of his life, it is still people like you that will come and blame the wife for turning the kids on him.

You will continue to sense that the man cannot be wrong, because you people must always blame women for men's irresponsibility.