Hello.

7 years ago my husband and I decided not to have any more children. We already have 1 boy and 1 girl. At the time, I suggested he get a Vasectomy because it was only a minor surgery, compared to me getting female tubes tied, would be a major surgery and need 6 weeks recovery time. HE AGREED and had the procedure done.

Now he wants more children. Sometimes I think I want more children too-- and he now says that I FORCED HIM to go to the doctor for his procedure and has been very BITTER toward me. He has said he wants nore children for a whole year. This is straining our marriage. HE WILL NOT CONSIDER ADOPTION.

Its very expensive to have it reversed (In U.S. its $12,000) and still no guarantee that it will work after all this time.

Is it better to raise the money and try for surgery, or just expect that God will have mercy and give us a child by miracle?

Hmmm,

ivf?

I don`t blame you,

I blame your Husband,

Some women are evil empire

tpia@:

ivf?

seconded

They have given you the answer. However, your husband needs a whipping from his dad or whoever holds the position in his life.

We humans are something else we always want what we cant have.

Hmmmmmmmmmm, just save towards the surgery, lets see what will happen? if it works, fine, if it doesn't then you know, you have tried.

You should have had him save his S p e r m in a S p e r m bank just i case before u guys did the whatever u did, I'm talking maybe a gallon of S p e r m in the bank would have prevented your heart ache now. There is still hope sha, since u made him suspend his stuff, u should pay for the surgery to get it back.

believe me, that mumu u call a husband will want to have it re-reversed after a $12000 reversal!

Be careful for what you wish for, it might come back to haunt you.

you made a terrible mistake with the surgery.if you have the money then proceed with the operation and pray to God.above all,go for counselling with you pastor

Thatdave:

believe me, that mumu u call a husband will want to have it re-reversed after a $12000 reversal!

I think the man is confused by the performance of his kinni which is going down because of age! Seems like your husband never heard about slim condoms or other natural family planning methods like billings.

Never make any permanent changes to your body, because one day you may outgrow the belief/fashion. Nothing is constant in this life except change. Humans are constantly evolving and changing. You better go and raise the $12k for the man and reverse the thing. When you were being americana, you were not thinking about the future and did not contact us. Now that water don pass garri you are here in pain and looking for mercy. Raise $12k with hotel and hospital bills abroad. Hopefully you did not do the vasectomy in a backyard place where they castrated the guy, otherwise you will just have to divorce and go your own way. Like oyinbo will say "stop crying and put your big girl shoes on"

Where did he have his 'sectomy done. I want to do same.

engineerd:

You should have had him save his S p e r m in a S p e r m bank just i case before u guys did the whatever u did, I'm talking maybe a gallon of S p e r m in the bank would have prevented your heart ache now. There is still hope sha, since u made him suspend his stuff, u should pay for the surgery to get it back.

don't they need money to prserve thr damm sperm?just asking

@OP,
I guess you don't live in Nigeria. I find it quite strange that a Nigerian man will consent to vasectomy in the first instance. Anyway, since you have both decided to have another child, you can as well save for it and reverse it since adoption is totally out of it.

any way you choose to go about it, i wish you goodluck!

HE AGREED and had  the procedure done

Now he wants more children. Sometimes I think I want more children too-- and he now says that I FORCED HIM to go to the doctor for his procedure and has been very BITTER toward me.

HE WILL NOT CONSIDER ADOPTION.

1st he agreed, then he blames u that u forced him (I wonder how u did that), you're not sure if you want more kids but you want to raise the funds to have it reversed. The only thing you are sure of is that adoption is not an option, it does not take a shrink to point out that it's not having more kids that is causing the stress in your relationship.

tpia@:

ivf?

What thats?

GoldCircle:

@OP,
I guess you don't live in Nigeria. I find it quite strange that a Nigerian man will consent to vasectomy in the first instance. Anyway, since you have both decided to have another child, you can as well save for it and reverse it since adoption is totally out of it.

any way you choose to go about it, i wish you goodluck!

The path to rest of mind and you find it strange?

Approved1:

Hello.

7 years ago my husband and I decided not to have any more children. We already have 1 boy and 1 girl. At the time, I suggested he get a Vasectomy because it was only a minor surgery, compared to me getting female tubes tied, would be a major surgery and need 6 weeks recovery time. HE AGREED and had the procedure done.

Now he wants more children. Sometimes I think I want more children too-- and he now says that I FORCED HIM to go to the doctor for his procedure and has been very BITTER toward me. He has said he wants nore children for a whole year. This is straining our marriage. HE WILL NOT CONSIDER ADOPTION.

Its very expensive to have it reversed (In U.S. its $12,000) and still no guarantee that it will work after all this time.

Is it better to raise the money and try for surgery, or just expect that God will have mercy and give us a child by miracle?

raise money for the surger and pray to God

why is he blaming you now, did you drag him into having a vasectomy against his will by nagging? or was it done with mutual consent

@ op you didnt tell us your income level but if you can afford reversin d vasectomy comfortably then give it a shot. If not go for adoption or look 4 a gud guy that can be of help

I second tpia's suggestion-IVF

@Lsbn boy- Let me try to explain, IVF (in vitro fertilization) is a procedure where the Fluid and the egg are fertilized outside their biological environment, i.e in a lab. The advantage is lesser cost  and higher chances of success compared to the reversal surgery. Also the couple can have their own child, no third party involved, just as how it would be had they planned to hve a child naturally. There are drawbacks too, but if they are desperate and the man cannot consider adoption then this is their best bet.

Roland17:

Be careful for what you wish for, it might come back to haunt you.

hmmm,
what more miracle re u expecting
u made ur choice and have to live with it.

why didnt you wait for god for a miracle of not having more babies than pushing god to a corner when you have blocked the tube suppliering spermatozoa. well he can use his spit for the miracle.

The solution is to go for reversal surgery as soon as possible. It is expensive but that's what can preserve your marriage. 7 years after the vasectomy is a little too long a time but in good hands reversal can be upto 80% restoration of patency and over 50% chances of pregnancy if you have a normal or above normal fertility (are you Yoruba?). An alternative would be aspiration and Assisted Reproductive Treatment (ART). This will not need such a fine oprative procedure but may be equally expensive.
As the woman always suffers the problems of child birth, I the  husband, I would rarther persuade her (for her health and beauty) to take the precaution and there  are many non permanent methods. What is wrong with long term subcutaneous implants or injections or even the good old intrauterine device. Husbands please don't allow yourselves to be pushed to the corner. I am not against women ; just my opinion and nothing must be permanent , not even marriage. Forget about adoption.

doublekay:

@ op you didnt tell us your income level but if you can afford reversin d vasectomy comfortably then give it a shot. If not go for adoption or look 4 a gud guy that can be of help

. That one will make her hubby kolo finally!!!

IVFs are very expensive and there's no guarantee it would take on the first cycle.

The average IVF cost is $12,000, but it can be as much as $15,000. It may be as low as $10,000, but it’s rarely lower than that. These prices are for one cycle of IVF.

^ Oh ! I didn't know IVFs could be so expensive

I think you are right o!, What even happen to those good flavoured Condoms?, hmmmm!

What is vasectomy in the first place? You tried to tamper God's design? Hmmmmm!!!! Modern medicine is not for everybody. You both messed up especially your husband because you demonstrated  lack of knowledge. Did you seek the face of God before embarking on this journey (of no return)? Before seeking his miracle now, why didn't you seek his help on imbibing the Holy Spirit to help you handle you problem. The scriptures you needed then and still need now are: Eph. 5:18; Gal. 5:22-23 (read both scriptures in NIV translation) and the emphases should be on SELF CONTROL (or is it BIRTH CONTROL?) Going forward, always meditate on Phil. 4:8 at all times because I can imagine what's going through your both minds. May God help you,