kaymart:
I take responsibility for the outcome of . every decision that I make in life however it may turn out (good or bad)

Good for you that taking responsibility means bearing unnecessary burdens then. Others aren't that silly. When you make a bad choice, taking responsibility means owning up to your mistake. Shackling yourself unnecessarily because in your mind you feel you need to punish yourself for making a mistake is something else entirely.

Kobojunkie:
Even if she did, does that mean she cannot decide now that she has had enough of the problem?

She will not walk away because Nigerians believe marriage is a do-or-die affair!

Sorry about this.
I used to gamble before too, and it destroyed everything I had. Infact, I stopped gambling 3 years ago but I'm still paying the debt acquired bcoz of gambling.
I was liberated when I come across a book on Amazon titled: The Cancerous Habits.
Pls & Please, kindly buy the book for your husband and help him to stop gambling.
The Cancerous Habits

Kobicove:
She will not walk away because Nigerians believe marriage is a do-or-die affair!

Oyinbo wey sell them the "For better for worst, till death do us part" lines, don throway that rubbish tey, but Nigerians, particularly our women folk, cling to it as though their lives are defined only by it.

That is not what that scripture says.

First of, a question was asked him. That in the resurrection ( another world) who would be a husband to a woman who had 7 husbands to her.

And Jesus said, the children of this world marry, and are given in marriage.

But they that are accounted worthy to obtain THAT WORLD( to come),and the resurrection from the dead don't marry like how they do in this present world, nor do they give them to marry.
Neither can they die anymore.

Because they are now as the angels are of THAT WORLD, are children of God being the children of resurrection.

THAT WORLD is different from this world.
THAT WORLD is the world of angels.
THAT WORLD, people don't die.

But this world, people die.
This world is the world of men.
This world is still in existence, for the end is not yet.

So in this world, marriage is honourable and the bed undefiled.
Adulterers and whoremongers will be judged.

And in this world, the head of the man is the wife.
And in this world, Jesus Christ will give peace to marriages.

And those who shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world are those who lived their lives right in this world in Christ Jesus.

Kobojunkie:
Jesus Christ said your marriages are of this world and not of the Kingdom of God - Luke 20 vs 34 - 36 - Yet you think it makes sense to bring His name here?

Contact a Relationship & Marriage counselor. Look for Relationship & Marriage on Facebook by Ocholi and message him.

Blue86:
■ That is not what that scripture says. First of, a question was asked him. That in the resurrection ( another world) who would be a husband to a woman who had 7 husbands to her.
THAT WORLD is different from this world.
THAT WORLD is the world of angels.
THAT WORLD, people don't die.
■But this world, people die. This world is the world of men. This world is still in existence, for the end is not yet.
■So in this world, marriage is honourable and the bed undefiled. Adulterers and whoremongers will be judged. And in this world, the head of the man is the wife.
And in this world, Jesus Christ will give peace to marriages.

1. The same Jesus Christ told you that He is King of the Kingdom of God, that World which is not of this world. That World is the same Kingdom of God which you become a citizen of the moment you become born-again, and all that happens here and now. The Kingdom of God arrived here on earth 2000 years ago when Jesus Christ died and rose from the grave. He told you that it is inside and all around you - Luke 17 vs 20 - 22.

2. Those who are citizens in the Kingdom of God i.e. those who are born-again are eternal, like the angels — they sleep in their graves when their time on earth is over. The world is still in existence and the Kingdom of God continues even now until forever.

3. As Jesus Christ explained to you, your marriages are of this world of men, and not of the Kingdom of God — that world in which those who are born-again and have eternal life live, even here on earth - Luke 20 vs 34 - 36.

Toor.
Don't marry then.

Since that world is already in you.

For people in that world don't marry, neither are they given in marriage.
And they don't die.

So don't marry.
And do not grow old.
And act angelic, in might.

You know you are far from those qualities.

Kobojunkie:
1. The same Jesus Christ told you that He is King of the Kingdom of God, that World which is not of this world. That World is the same Kingdom of God which you become a citizen of the moment you become born-again, and all that happens here and now. The Kingdom of God arrived here on earth 2000 years ago when Jesus Christ died and rose from the grave. He told you that it is inside and all around you - Luke 17 vs 20 - 22.

2. Those who are citizens in the Kingdom of God i.e. those who are born-again are eternal, like the angels — they sleep in their graves when their time on earth is over. The world is still in existence and the Kingdom of God continues even now until forever.

3. As Jesus Christ explained to you, your marriages are of this world of men, and not of the Kingdom of God — that world in which those who are born-again and have eternal life live, even here on earth - Luke 20 vs 34 - 36.

all4zionlover:
Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhappy and lonely. My husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home.
He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even stable because all the financial expenses is on me. Yet he doesn't care. He keeps malice with me for not giving him money and not coming home to meet food.
This year, I have decided not to keep food for him so long as he can not bring money for feeding, for the children he claim he love and upkeep.
I've endure for too long and I'm getting fade up.

All my actions and his behaviour really makes me sad.
I have no love, respect for him.
I excessively worry for upkeep, school fees, bills, things we don't have at home. Everything is on me.
I'm so stressed and lonely. I feel I need a shoulder to rest on maybe to cry.
I'm so sad because our two sons are too attached to their father and I'm scared of their feelings if I decided to divorce their father

My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work.

Have you been in this kind of situation?
What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations?

Dump his lazy arse. Such men would stress your life out and later get a second wife when something happens to you.

Blue86:
■ Toor. Don't marry then. Since that world is already in you.
■For people in that world don't marry, neither are they given in marriage. And they don't die. So don't marry. And do not grow old. And act angelic, in might. You know you are far from those qualities.

1. According to Jesus Christ, it is not those who marry that do it for the sake of the Kingdom of God, instead, it is those who live as Eunuchs that God has granted permission to do so for the sake of His Kingdom - Matthew 19 vs 12. So, again, it is ridiculous to portray marriage as if it is of the Kingdom of God. That said, those who will marry will marry, but again, there is nothing holy or pure or undefiled about the union.

2. Act angelic ke? Don't grow old ke? Now you are writing your own bible ni?

Gambling is a bad addiction. It's hard to stop to be honest. I wish you had some control over him, you can persuade him thru a good sex and delicious meal to hand his salary over to you as soon a it drops, that way, you prevent him from spending it on gambling. Everyman has a soft spot, it's left for u to find it, disrespecting him or starving him of food will do more harm than good. Alternatively u can use the other method I cannot mention publicly here, to control him collect his salary from him, I mean everything, also spend d money immediately u collect it, I mean u can just stock ur kitchen with food stuffs or pay d kids school fees in advance, anything that will finish d salary to prevent him from stealing it for gambling later on. Till you see changes in
his behavior.

all4zionlover:
Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhappy and lonely. My husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home.
He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even stable because all the financial expenses is on me. Yet he doesn't care. He keeps malice with me for not giving him money and not coming home to meet food.
This year, I have decided not to keep food for him so long as he can not bring money for feeding, for the children he claim he love and upkeep.
I've endure for too long and I'm getting fade up.

All my actions and his behaviour really makes me sad.
I have no love, respect for him.
I excessively worry for upkeep, school fees, bills, things we don't have at home. Everything is on me.
I'm so stressed and lonely. I feel I need a shoulder to rest on maybe to cry.
I'm so sad because our two sons are too attached to their father and I'm scared of their feelings if I decided to divorce their father

My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work.

Have you been in this kind of situation?
What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations?

I am so touched by the kind of love your children have for their father, your husband. He should have made a very good father aside his gambling and irresponsible lifestyle.
From what you describe above, this situation is beyond you to handle, gambling is a very stubborn addiction, he needs indepth counseling by a good professional counsellor. Can you book an appointment for him with a counsellor and lure him to the counsellor without pre-informing him? The problem is more of psychological than physical, he needs to be enrolled iin counselling sessions backed up with prayer.

Kobojunkie:
How many out of every one million hit it big? Out of those who hit it big, how many of them are able to make their winnings work for them?

Always know this
Everybody has a mentor
He might know friends who living much better with same lifestyle
To call the lifestyle a quit will be difficult

Kobojunkie:
1. Talking to someone close to him will make him change?

2. If your wife changed in the same way, will you yourself continue to be a good husband to her until the day she too "will reflect on change", no matter how many years that will take?

3. So, if the wife uses feeding money to gamble too, what will become of the kids? How will they feed at that point?

well i cant say but i have been doing no 2since my wife assume leaving me for a break,lol sounds funny rite, my point is that, something that is spoil ,ask your self ma,is it good to spoil it more

Kobojunkie:
1. Talking to someone close to him will make him change?

2. If your wife changed in the same way, will you yourself continue to be a good husband to her until the day she too "will reflect on change", no matter how many years that will take?

3. So, if the wife uses feeding money to gamble too, what will become of the kids? How will they feed at that point?

Keep talking to him,and enduring, but pls mind how u talk to him,a soft answers or questions makes him Listen,take my advice keep being who u are,i know how u feel,especially when my wife change, i keep sending money, and trying to building,and feed my self,but now i do my best, by playing my own role as a husband.
Am telling u to keep playing the perfect couetier ,because if him hammer 10m ��,he will want to shakara for u instead of spending it with u,if i were u,try and help him by saying dear,i pray your game wont cut oo,or just luck up and tell him that,babe if u cant stop playing pls reduce your bet deposit and play with small change,in fact follow him to the bet shop,support him,do u know why, u will come back to thank me later via fb

Lance00009:
Always know this Everybody has a mentor He might know friends who living much better with same lifestyle To call the lifestyle a quit will be difficult

What does that matter to anything out there or even the price of tomatoes?

edunaragold:
well i cant say but i have been doing no 2since my wife assume leaving me for a break,lol sounds funny rite, my point is that, something that is spoil ,ask your self ma,is it good to spoil it more

Once a thing is broken you usually have to break it some more in order to fix or salvage what's left of it. After it is fixed, it may not look anything like it did before it first got broke the first time, but at least you were able to salvage what was left of it.

The man has already broken his family in pieces. The woman may need to break what is left completely apart in order to salvage what she can from it. She may have to take her kids and leave the current toxic environment so she can finally focus on just her and her kids, struggle until she is finally able to make ends up, whenever that happens, so her kids can finally rest easy and she can herself begin to smile again.

edunaragold:
■ Keep talking to him, and enduring, but pls mind how u talk to him,a soft answers or questions makes him Listen,take my advice keep being who u are,i know how u feel,especially when my wife change, i keep sending money, and trying to building,and feed my self,but now i do my best, by playing my own role as a husband.
■Am telling u to keep playing the perfect couetier ,because if him hammer 10m ��,he will want to shakara for u instead of spending it with u,if i were u,try and help him by saying dear,i pray your game wont cut oo,or just luck up and tell him that,babe if u cant stop playing pls reduce your bet deposit and play with small change,in fact follow him to the bet shop,support him,do u know why, u will come back to thank me later via fb

1. I bet you have never had to endure much of another person's wickedness yourself.

2. You say because you have never endured much in your life.

Kobojunkie:
Good for you that taking responsibility means bearing unnecessary burdens then. Others aren't that silly. When you make a bad choice, taking responsibility means owning up to your mistake. Shackling yourself unnecessarily because in your mind you feel you need to punish yourself for making a mistake is something else entirely.

Can't you see u are the one being silly here

kaymart:
Can't you see u are the one being silly here

I am not but stating it as it is. Taking responsibility for one's actions means accepting one made a mistake, and turning around after to resolve the said mistake. Seeking to continue in the said mistake is not taking responsibility for something else entirely bothering mental problems if you ask me.

If I dug a hole to build an 8-story building and went as far as to lay a foundation for an 8-story building, only to, months after laying the foundation, realize that I will become bankrupt if I continued to build. The responsible thing to do would be to accept that I made a mistake in my planning, go back and revise that plan, and maybe even the design in such a way that I no longer focus on building an 8-story but something that I am better able to afford, even if it means having to abandon that 8-story foundation that I had previously laid. That is what it means to take responsibility.

Foolishness would be a situation where knowing what I know I continue blindly building the 8-story, going as far as using cheap material that isn't worth it.

all4zionlover:
He has a job, earn salary but gambles all away and return to depend on me for everything including feeding, transport, every other things. His salary is strictly for betting, why every other needs is on me

Go and report him in his place of work or to a trusted senior associate, perhaps, after verification, they can send some of his salary to you directly to fulfill your needs.

Kobojunkie:
What does that matter to anything out there or even the price of tomatoes?

Are you normal
Was my business with you
I gat a lot thinking
Find someone else for ur online drama

deavicky:
I think you should find out maybe he had borrowed money from those devilish loan people around his office or in his place of work. If no, stop taking up his responsibilities.

i love dat aspect u said (stop taking up is responsiblities for him) i tout i was doing good by doing so

Tannhauser:


Where una dey see all these kind men marry sef?

for earth o!

millionboi:
then what happens to the money if not gamble?

pls my brother i don't know!! because i ve not seen him with fetish tins for dis our 13 years in marriage

b0rn2fuck:
na we dey knack their wife and taking over their responsibility too. Apply within

really!

FERNANDEZISBACK:
Speak to him about it..if he doesn'tsn't head to your advice then i'd advise you file for a divorce!
The thing is pathological gambling has the potential to destroy marriages – and if your soon-to-be-ex has a gambling problem...you know how difficult it can be to deal with...When you're divorcing someone with a gambling issue..you're up against many obstacles...You might even question whether your companion has a gambling problem or is simply reckless and irresponsible...

Many people have misconceptions regarding what constitutes problematic gambling... Your partner may have a gambling addiction even if he does not gamble every day or can afford to lose money..

Gambling addiction is frequently marked by:
• Feeling compelled to keep gambling a secret..

• When there isn't enough money to spare he gambles..

• Having difficulties keeping his gambling under control..
Spouses and children frequently pay the price for one person's gambling addiction...Bills may go unpaid..budgets may have to be stretched, and gambling can even result in job loss...

It may sound cliched.. but gamblers must desire to seek help...You won't help your spouse stop gambling unless he recognizes that there is a problem and is eager to seek treatment... Even so..your companion must adhere to the treatment plan and in most situations refrain from gambling...
If you're considering divorcing someone with a gambling addiction.. the first thing you should do is go to a divorce lawyer..

Your lawyer can explain how alimony is calculated and how your marital property (or debt) will be shared. He or she will also respond to any of your inquiries about the divorce process taking into account your specific circumstances... Enjoy

Wetin??
Na u advice pass? See long note.

all4zionlover:
Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhappy and lonely. My husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home.
He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even stable because all the financial expenses is on me. Yet he doesn't care. He keeps malice with me for not giving him money and not coming home to meet food.
This year, I have decided not to keep food for him so long as he can not bring money for feeding, for the children he claim he love and upkeep.
I've endure for too long and I'm getting fade up.

All my actions and his behaviour really makes me sad.
I have no love, respect for him.
I excessively worry for upkeep, school fees, bills, things we don't have at home. Everything is on me.
I'm so stressed and lonely. I feel I need a shoulder to rest on maybe to cry.
I'm so sad because our two sons are too attached to their father and I'm scared of their feelings if I decided to divorce their father

My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work.

Have you been in this kind of situation?
What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations?

Take it all to God in prayers, and you'll be glad you did. Your husband isn't the problem, neither is the habit, you need to address the one behind the scenes manipulating things against you and your family.

all4zionlover:
Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhappy and lonely. My husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home.
He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even stable because all the financial expenses is on me. Yet he doesn't care. He keeps malice with me for not giving him money and not coming home to meet food.
This year, I have decided not to keep food for him so long as he can not bring money for feeding, for the children he claim he love and upkeep.
I've endure for too long and I'm getting fade up.

All my actions and his behaviour really makes me sad.
I have no love, respect for him.
I excessively worry for upkeep, school fees, bills, things we don't have at home. Everything is on me.
I'm so stressed and lonely. I feel I need a shoulder to rest on maybe to cry.
I'm so sad because our two sons are too attached to their father and I'm scared of their feelings if I decided to divorce their father

My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work.

Have you been in this kind of situation?
What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations?

Prayer is the key!

DrDunamis:
■ Take it all to God in prayers, and you'll be glad you did.
■Your husband isn't the problem, neither is the habit, you need to address the one behind the scenes manipulating things against you and your family.

1. The 10s of millions of Nigerian women still waiting after so many years, praying, how has been going for them? Why are you lot too desperate to recruit new prayer slaves but never stopping to ask how queue keeps getting longer and longer on your prayer floors??

2. So, the man's addiction is not the problem, a boogeyman is instead to blame? Na so una dey trap women praying for year after year over rubbish while the world continues to move past them.

frozen70:


Just be calm and focus on your children

You have to be strong and train those children especially on education

As for your spouse, don't give him shishi, don't even look at his direction so that he doesn't weigh you down

So far he is not caring about the whole situation and he doesn't bring food, feed your children, he will sort himself out

The more you become pregnant the more the burden for you

Beni ..any man that is not serious in the category of ur husband should not be allowed to father more than one child... infact l have examples close to me..At most 2 kids cos the burden will continually be on the woman..So it is very wise to be on an authentic birth control method around them or else sorry be that person's case.

dollytino4real:
really!

yes ooo