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My Marriage Is Stressing Me - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by millionboi(m): 12:24pm On Jan 10, 2023
Mindlog:
Just make sure no more pregnancy, don't give him any money no matter the disguise, don't serve him food if he didn't drop money for feeding the family . I hope his family of birth are aware of this mental disorder.

Ignore him when he adopts malice as a means to emotionally blackmail you, it is expected of such addicts.
hahahaha betting is not a mental disorder na haba,but in his own case of using his salary to bet,is too bad.
Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Pzpropertylimit(m): 12:25pm On Jan 10, 2023
I thought women are wise now na .
Madam leave before u die before ur time .
Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by bonnyhope: 12:25pm On Jan 10, 2023
all4zionlover:
Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhappy and lonely. My husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home.
He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even stable because all the financial expenses is on me. Yet he doesn't care. He keeps malice with me for not giving him money and not coming home to meet food.
This year, I have decided not to keep food for him so long as he can not bring money for feeding, for the children he claim he love and upkeep.
I've endure for too long and I'm getting fade up.

All my actions and his behaviour really makes me sad.
I have no love, respect for him.
I excessively worry for upkeep, school fees, bills, things we don't have at home. Everything is on me.
I'm so stressed and lonely. I feel I need a shoulder to rest on maybe to cry.
I'm so sad because our two sons are too attached to their father and I'm scared of their feelings if I decided to divorce their father

My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work.

Have you been in this kind of situation?
What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations?

Sorry

A gambler will never make a responsible husband

Continue talking to him for positive change

Pls don't disrespect him for not meeting up his obligations.
Keep pushing
Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Oracleee: 12:25pm On Jan 10, 2023
all4zionlover:
Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhappy and lonely. My husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home.
He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even stable because all the financial expenses is on me. Yet he doesn't care. He keeps malice with me for not giving him money and not coming home to meet food.
This year, I have decided not to keep food for him so long as he can not bring money for feeding, for the children he claim he love and upkeep.
I've endure for too long and I'm getting fade up.

All my actions and his behaviour really makes me sad.
I have no love, respect for him.
I excessively worry for upkeep, school fees, bills, things we don't have at home. Everything is on me.
I'm so stressed and lonely. I feel I need a shoulder to rest on maybe to cry.
I'm so sad because our two sons are too attached to their father and I'm scared of their feelings if I decided to divorce their father

My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work.

Have you been in this kind of situation?
What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations?


Why not try therapy? Truth is gambling is a big issue most folks even abroad do battle with. It's pretty hard to come out of it because the more he tries, the deeper he might fall into it. I think therapy is the best way out, and it works. I do have a friend who was so deep into gambling that a once upon a time good looking dude is now reduced to a miscreant.


For those saying this is Nigeria and therapy isn't feasible, get off it. Alot of folks have gone through it and it works.

1 Like

Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by syntekelite(m): 12:26pm On Jan 10, 2023
all4zionlover:
Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhappy and lonely. My husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home.
He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even stable because all the financial expenses is on me. Yet he doesn't care. He keeps malice with me for not giving him money and not coming home to meet food.
This year, I have decided not to keep food for him so long as he can not bring money for feeding, for the children he claim he love and upkeep.
I've endure for too long and I'm getting fade up.

All my actions and his behaviour really makes me sad.
I have no love, respect for him.
I excessively worry for upkeep, school fees, bills, things we don't have at home. Everything is on me.
I'm so stressed and lonely. I feel I need a shoulder to rest on maybe to cry.
I'm so sad because our two sons are too attached to their father and I'm scared of their feelings if I decided to divorce their father

My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work.

Have you been in this kind of situation?
What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations?

Keep up the good work cos you aint doing it for him but for your children's and grandchildren's future.. once you have that thought in mind it gets easier and life opens up more opportunities for you.. (which means more funds to comfortably carry your family ) leave complain and worry, it only blocks favour and doesn't allow you to receive grace.. a lot of people said you should talk to him,i feel thats a bad idea cos of some men who have misplaced ego which might make them feel belittled and turn violent..
After all you said divorce is not an option..

Las las such trials are just diff types of tests thrown at almost everyone in life, how you manage and handle it is what determines your future whether for good or for bad.. i hope you survive yours and come out a better and happy woman..

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by BrainXweb: 12:27pm On Jan 10, 2023
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Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by millionboi(m): 12:27pm On Jan 10, 2023
Elokristi:
I believe dialogue should be your last resort here, try to give him reasons why that habit should come to an abrupt end, while at it make sure you don't raise voice to avoid violence. Talk to him like a mother, remember to treat him well that day and serve him his favourite dish before engaging him. Tell him about the dangers gambling and how the economy is no longer funny for an average Joe not to talk of a whole family. Give him business ideas and how you people need to start a project that will take the family out of poverty, try this and you will see him turn a new leaf. Me wey dey give this advice never marry oo, still in my early twenties, hopefully you will take this advice from me your younger brother.
very intelligent advice,she should do as you said
Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by ElijahIme1992(m): 12:27pm On Jan 10, 2023
all4zionlover:
Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhappy and lonely. My husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home.
He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even stable because all the financial expenses is on me. Yet he doesn't care. He keeps malice with me for not giving him money and not coming home to meet food.
This year, I have decided not to keep food for him so long as he can not bring money for feeding, for the children he claim he love and upkeep.
I've endure for too long and I'm getting fade up.

All my actions and his behaviour really makes me sad.
I have no love, respect for him.
I excessively worry for upkeep, school fees, bills, things we don't have at home. Everything is on me.
I'm so stressed and lonely. I feel I need a shoulder to rest on maybe to cry.
I'm so sad because our two sons are too attached to their father and I'm scared of their feelings if I decided to divorce their father

My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work.

Have you been in this kind of situation?
What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations?
loooooooooooooooooool madam leave all dis yarning, just dey pray one day bet9ja go pay am.... Ur husband dey diversify him income, na investor him be one dey him investment go pay.... U women una too dey complain....
Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by BrainXweb: 12:28pm On Jan 10, 2023
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Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Nobody: 12:28pm On Jan 10, 2023
Babaken:
government should close all gambling outlets in Nigeria that thing has done more harm than good.

Then they will drive the thing underground or offshore.

If you watch EPL, you will see that some of the clubs have chinese symbols on their shirts, and you will also see some Chinese adverts on the advertisement hoardings on the sidelines. Those ads are for Chinese Gambling companies, who because they cannot operate in China...gambling is illegal there...move their operations to other countries (the Philippines is a popular base...plus their government welcomes the revenue)..and advertise to Chinese people watching EPL back home...all behind the government's back.

Illegal gambling probably moves more money than the legit gambling. And it is run by criminals...risk increased for punters.

3 Likes

Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Zeezenho: 12:30pm On Jan 10, 2023
There are men that enjoy buttered pekus any time he need money bring pekus guys shine then give you enough cash that you can spear him some and keep some for yourself.problem solved.
Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by danfourtson(m): 12:31pm On Jan 10, 2023
Madam get it off your mind and face front for the sake of your children. don't divorce him, anytime he hit rock him go come back to his normal sense.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by sammirano: 12:31pm On Jan 10, 2023
Kobojunkie:
1. undecided

2. Depression seems to have set in meaning you need to do something different from what you have been doing up till now. undecided

3. Will you be happier if your boys grew up to become terrible husbands and fathers just like their dad is? Though terrible, your children will definitely recover eventually from being torn from their dad but I doubt they can recover from the bad examples he will set for them if they continue to grow up around him and his disease. undecided

4. Here are a couple of links to posts from others who are dealing with something similar to what you detailed. Feel free to read through the stories and many suggestions to help you at least understand that you are not alone, and leaving him in order to find better for you and your kids is not the end of the world. undecided

https://www.nairaland.com/7325688/tired-marriageplease#116530995
https://www.nairaland.com/7151446//2#113290999
https://www.nairaland.com/7012208/want-peacefully-divorce-husband#110704919
https://www.nairaland.com/6974104//1#110042439

Shut up home breaker
Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by millionboi(m): 12:31pm On Jan 10, 2023
sexiestharam:
Gambling addiction is the worst addiction. Your husband will never change unless by divine intervention. I will advise you to leave
you lied, gambling addiction don't need any special intervention to stop,just say goodbye to your loses is as that simple once you accept to say goodbye u are done with it.

1 Like

Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by pickatyouu: 12:32pm On Jan 10, 2023
Marriage na stress.
Every adult wanting another adult to take responsibility for another adult. Apart from the kids welfare nothing should be important. If Una fit sort that one out. If e likes make him gamble himself to death. If u can't, move out of the stress.

But if u hear the man's side now, u will here a different narrative.
Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by FreeStuffsNG: 12:34pm On Jan 10, 2023
Gambling is called ignorance tax for a reason. Do not blame gambling blame the addict. Casting lots is a legal way to share wealth among owners of the wealth.
Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by millionboi(m): 12:35pm On Jan 10, 2023
sexiestharam:
Gambling addiction is the worst addiction. Your husband will never change unless by divine intervention. I will advise you to leave
you lied, gambling addiction don't need any special intervention to stop,just say goodbye to your loses is as that simple once you accept to say goodbye u are done with it
Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by millionboi(m): 12:36pm On Jan 10, 2023
ayenale1:
Only God, deliverance and self will can stop your husband from gambling...he don carry wetin get power pass am...

u wicked oh

If only he can say goodbye to his loss,he will be free
Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Fakbrown: 12:37pm On Jan 10, 2023
He is doing akawo
Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by koolaid87: 12:37pm On Jan 10, 2023
Would you be here if he had won millions?


Just curious
Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Allisgud: 12:38pm On Jan 10, 2023
Hope he didn't win ur heart when he won betnaija and spend on u while u both where dating
Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Mrkumareze(m): 12:39pm On Jan 10, 2023
My sister received several beatings for tearing her husband's pool slip that year. The your man will buy car today, tomorrow he ll tell you its in the mechanic, las las he has sold it to play another game. With steady fight n quarrel, he stopped it.
Today he has his own house, building another and taking good care of his children.

My dear sis, keep disturbing him, he ll repent
Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by millionboi(m): 12:39pm On Jan 10, 2023
Lance00009:
Your husband is posses with money madness
Money madness can not be cure till he make money
Just pray for his success you cannot stop him
He will continue with the habit because he might have seen someone who hit big same way
you have a point datz another thing dat causes all this,if you spend time with all this so called online money makers you will be trapd and exposed to different online scam in d name of trying to hit it big online.
Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Kobojunkie: 12:42pm On Jan 10, 2023
sammirano:
Shut up home breaker
So it isn't the man who by his habit and own hand rendered his marriage in the broken state that it is. Instead, I am to blame for letting the wife know that marriage is not meant to be a prison sentence? undecided

1 Like

Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by millionboi(m): 12:43pm On Jan 10, 2023
zakkxx:
Gambling is a spirit u cannot win your husband by not giving him food! Let him not be violent on u! Pray to God about that spirit! He will be very! Remember how u will treat your stubborn son, do that! May God heal your home!
Gambling is not a spirit,if you can say goodbye to loses you are free
Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Kobojunkie: 12:44pm On Jan 10, 2023
Mrkumareze:
My sister received several beatings for tearing her husband's pool slip that year. The your man will buy car today, tomorrow he ll tell you its in the mechanic, las las he has sold it to play another game. With steady fight n quarrel, he stopped it.
Today he has his own house, building another and taking good care of his children.

My dear sis, keep disturbing him, he ll repent
for how long did your sister receive beating for before the man stopped beating her? undecided

By the way, if it were your own wife beating you up for that long, will you have endured the same as your sister did?? undecided

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by sammirano: 12:44pm On Jan 10, 2023
Kobojunkie:
So it isn't the man who by his habit and own hand rendered his marriage in the broken state that it is. Instead, I am to blame for letting the wife know that marriage is not meant to be a prison sentence? undecided

What God has joined together.... Unless you are the devil you shouldn't give such advice
Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by everythinggirly(f): 12:44pm On Jan 10, 2023
Chai, gambling is not a good thing. Sorry ma'am, I guess you have to talk to a marriage counselor. cry
Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by alyarmouk(m): 12:44pm On Jan 10, 2023
Hmmm...I don't like commenting on issues like this cuz I feel it's just an internet story...but I decided to comment on this because I'm in the same situation and I am the man with the gambling habit and my wife runs the home from her small shop I opened for her. I had issue with my job n has been on suspension for over 1 year but I still rcv salary... Gambling addiction is bad xpcially sports betting...I cnt help it.
But here is what I do, maybe your husband can borrow a leaf from it.
Whenever a money comes into his hand he should divide into 2 and give you half ..for upkeep. And he shdnt play every game he sees...he shld be methodical with his bets. I bet huge (50k+) on 2-4 odds and bet 500 naira and less on huge odds.. that way, he is guaranteed more wins which shld also be divided same way as explained above.
He is gambling to make money for the family, he shld just limit his gaming habits. It's hard to stop
And divorcing him is not the solution for you n for him...keep doing ur best n put him in prayer one good dey (without CUT 1) will change ur stories forever. You can write me, as I can guide him for free. I also have a group where I pay bettors 50% of their stakes back on my game if lost, and they pay me 20% if game is won. That way, it's a win win situation. God has blessed your home
Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by johnfem321: 12:45pm On Jan 10, 2023
Take him for deliverance session and counselling.. you will be surprised if he makes it big on Gambling he will want to still spend the money on you and the kids.. the reason he felt he needs to gamble in the first place is to make more money to look after you and the kids.. but unfortunately that might not be the right strategy and gambling is very very addictive..

He might be seeing his fellow friend making it big from gambling and feel it will be his turn one day.. No be head wey A get B get.. some people their head even forbid gambling and will end up getting ruined by it... he needs help and prayers.. He will surely hit a turning point either by great win from gambling or hit a rock bottom from losing in gambling and end up facing reality..

He probably spend money on you during dating and when he had it.. You should have also looked at his spending habit, how he manage money and how he saves.. but you while you were dating but may be you wasn’t concerned about that and carried away by how waste money on you..

Divorce is not the solution at all.. he is your husband and people go through different face in life.. I’m sure he wouldn’t be happy about the gambling himself.. just do your best to support him and don’t keep quiet on the matter
Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Kobojunkie: 12:46pm On Jan 10, 2023
bonnyhope:
Sorry
A gambler will never make a responsible husband
Continue talking to him for positive change
Pls don't disrespect him for not meeting up his obligations.
Keep pushing
If you believe He will never make a responsible husband, why then do you ask her to keep working OK him and pushing him? Basically, you ask her to keep pouring water into what you already consider a basket, why? undecided

1 Like

Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Ishilove: 12:47pm On Jan 10, 2023
all4zionlover:
He has a job, earn salary but gambles all away and return to depend on me for everything including feeding, transport, every other things. His salary is strictly for betting, why every other needs is on me
Na wa. Which kind of irresponsibility is this, bikonu??

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