@Op, I do discuss my Relationship with Third Parties though to some limits, i see nothing wrong with it.

^^^

It depends on the third party, and how comfortable you are about what you're telling them. I'm the type that people always approach with such issues. . . I see nothing wrong with that, provided I feel I'm talking to the right person.
However, if my partner does that, I may not be happy, depending on who she told. . .but I'd rather I don't find out.

yoruba women, . always have to tell some goddaam aunty or sister, afise!!

Everyone needs a confidant every now and then. A spouse who does not make him/herself available for heart to heart discussions (which can sometimes hurt), who can not take issues in good faith, who runs the other party down has given an open invitation to a third party.

That said, there are some problems which are best handled by inviting a third party- one should just pick that third party wisely. Abuse (on either side , of whatever form) gets worse with silence. The abuser takes advantage of the fact that the abused will tell no one.

The intentions for inviting a third party are also key. Is it to seek constructive advice to handle a particular sitation wisely? good. Is it to pour out ones heart? cool. Is it to run the spouse down? shame!!!

MP007:

yoruba women, . always have to tell some goddaam aunty or sister, afise!!

You've speak my mind. They hardly think on their own, if anythings happen in their relationship neither negative or positive they will want to get 1 or 2 of their family involve to give them clue on how deal with the matter.

and if they want to seek advice they won't ask sensible people, they will confide in someone that her own his 90% damage.(No future Ambition)

Yea, itz something very bad that can terminate relationship

Shy-One:

I think strangers are more reliable to air differences than family or friends or pastors

That is just my personal opinion.

Family complicates things as their views are jaded and prejudiced towards their family member.

Friends - get too worked up and start taking sides and might even make advances at the partner they have secretly had their eye unbeknownst to you.

Strangers can be more hands off and listen to the issues a bit more and not take sides as much as the other parties.

my opinion too. I will rather talk to a stranger than a friend or family member who may use d personal info against u later on. Or evn mock u behind.

@cuddlemii thanks dear I actually have a blog, but thats a story for another day.

Madcow:

There is nothing wrong with discussing disagreements with significant friends and close family,

Really? Do you have a relationship? How far has it gotten you? If you think your family and friends are wiser than God then sure keep doing it hope it works out for you and the poor girl.

Personally I feel insecure guys need their friends and family to validate their relationship but a wise man will trust in his wisdom and his God and will not need external validation for every little issue.

MP007:

yoruba women, . always have to tell some goddaam aunty or sister, afise!!

igbo men too oh in fact they are the leaders when it comes to this.

kool J:

A third party is a total no-no.heck,if u arent mature enuf to bear wat comes wit r/ships and/or marriage,u really have no business being in one. As for those suggesting pastors,am i d only one who's heard abt homes broken because 'my pastor said so'? A counsellor wld do great,buh jst be sure he/she is not into any of d couple. Third party my cutesy behind!

quote of the day!! 'if you arent mature enuf to bear wat comes wit r/ships and/or marriage,u really have no business being in one'

sashaa:

my opinion too. I will rather talk to a stranger than a friend or family member who may use d personal info against u later on. Or evn mock u behind.

some people do not realise this until its too late.

A man/woman who discussess his/her private, relationship issues with a third party is inviting trouble for the relationship. Apart from the fact that it is insensitive and disrecpectful to leak out private details of a family affair, especially if they are confidential. (Like the fact that your husband does not satisfy you in bed, or that you wife cums too early and too often, therefore you do not enjoy sex).

These are private matters that should end in the bedroom. Telling third parties such issues is outrightly senseless. For a man it shows how weak and clueless he is and how incompetent and unprepared he is for the elavated position of head of family. For a woman it will be an indication of treachery. And a pointer to the fact that she is not a home maker nor fit to be a mother or wife.

However, a different scenerio exists where the family (man and woman) has a problem and the third party is in a position to profer solutions or advice. In that case, it could be mutually agreed that the third party's opinion should be sought. A man who does "wikileaks" his family's affairs will flip his lead and a woman who does same will loose the love and respect of her husband. Indeed, SHOULD LOOSE IT albeit,briefly.

^^^^


WTF

It really depends on what you talk about, and with whom

Xactly Nayah!! It all depends on what u discuss - Like u shouldnt as a married Person go discussing the Positions u enact during Sex with ur Partner or how good/bad ur partner is at bed

^^hello bro yes you're on point, I think privacy is important and if you don't want people to be disrespectful don't give them the occasion

lol No as I told you I'm a bit reserved, and I don't give any occasion to disrespect me or my relatives

matters of marriage is supposeto be sumtn of secrete as wel. if two matured coupled can discuss matters concerning dem publicly den dey are not matured in the first place to be called husband and wife. marital issues generally weather concerning deir weaknesses on bed or otherwise is suppose to be absolute secrecy.

There are situations where third parties were involved in the process of getting the union together, there is no problem talking to a third party, but couples must be very careful, so that decisions are not totally influenced by the tots of the third party, they can try to sort their problems together before taking it out.

Men do not normally discuss their relationships with other especially about women the care about,

But unfortunately this is the norm for women they discuss every detail of their relationship with their friends

I think we have not clearly defined what a third party is but there are cases in which a third party's perspective might be of help to the partner who asked for the advice. Nairaland can be regarded as a third party and those marriage councilors on newspapers, offices and online medias.

The key word for me is that there are third parties who are too close to give an objective advice ( family, friends and colleagues ) or those who might not be flexible or open minded ( Men/Women who always want to take the sides of their own gender or feel things can only be done in a certain way).

The third party to me should have a very low familiarity with the partners having the issues, very matured, exposed and open minded with a very broad way of thinking or looking at issues.