First - let me say that if you don't like to read - this isn't the thread for you - keep it moving - let the door revolve - so walk in and turn around and walk out - please don't let me stop you.

I really need some help - from those that have honest words or opinions or strategies that I can learn and use in my life. Also THIS IS LONG - so don't waste bandwidth reposting this in your answer I BEG YOU - just if you are responding to me and not to each other - just say: @ Shy


Here is the Question - Can Love Really Conquer All? And if so, How? What Would You advise me to Do?

I really care deeply for him and I am really considering taking this relationship to the next level with him - but I just don't know if it will be a waste of my time and end in heartbreak - Should I move on from the relationship as it is now (his is my boyfriend) and should we just be friends and nothing more on a personal level?

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We are very different and that difference is affecting the Love we Have For Each Other

Him:

Regimented - Goes to bed at the same time, Rises at the same time, rarely breaks free from these self-imposed boundaries

Routine - Eats the same cuisine (rarely tries anything different and doesn't have the desire to try anything different) and he even went to another country on vacation but still only frequented Nigerian restaurants - though he was surrounded by hundreds of different restaurants from different countries - he didn't even try other types of food.

Soccer - won't miss a game - even if he has to put our conversations on hold - he will focus on his Soccer and His Soccer Game and then focus on me when the game ends.

Work/Drive - when he is at work or when he is driving - he doesn't want to talk on the phone unless it is brief and it is business (he owns the company) - when we first started dating - he would talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, laugh, laugh - it didn't matter if he was at work or driving - where-ever he was, he would be so excited and we would talk and laugh and talk and laugh - now we only talk at the end of the day everyday. By then he is so tired, he is falling asleep or not as attentive to the conversation

Physical Activity - When he rides a bike - he rides in a bike that is pulled by others - when he exercises - it is 10-20 minutes a day, everyday at the same time.

His View - He see hierarchy as "acceptable" - example: His car had a flat tire, he called a mechanic (waited on the guy to arrive to change the tire for him). New/Different machinery - We are focusing on expanding our current operations (skills and mission), when we were talking about our roles he wants to maintain his current position without adding additional competencies - he wants to hire ADDITIONAL people around him to operate the equipment, while he continues to focus on getting new clients and managing the current employees and just hiring new ones. He doesn't want to learn to operate or to operate any of the equipment.

Religion - he is an active (very) member of RCOGC and part of the "elders group" as well - he doesn't miss a Sunday, a Saturday planning meeting, special services, etc. He knows the bible in detail - knows what scripture, book and page

Very Traditional in "the old views" as well - when it comes to men and to women - but he also has a youthfulness about him that is very, very refreshing and people of all ages love him and are comfortable speaking with him and spending time with him. He has an understanding of people and their plights and different lifestyles and is a very outspoken person.

Clothing - he loves Italian this, Italian that - when he buys clothing items (which is rare)

Money - believes in saving 95% of his profit - spends very, very, very little. Does everything to maintain a very frugal outlook and projects that to others.

THEN THERE IS ME - in many instances, EVERYTHING HE IS - I AM THE EXACT OPPOSITE

Me:

Impulsive - On impulse I will pick up the phone and talk - there is no "certain time of day other than NOW", I will try a new food and get the recipe and cook it the way it was taught to me and then make adaptations to that recipe and add my own twist and create new dishes from that original dish, learn a new language (grab books, dvds and enroll myself in , question new ideas and test them for effectiveness, teach myself and others how to operate equipment that is new and/or foreign to me)

I will walk into a situation that others deem dangerous and full of risk and all I see IS POSSIBILITY AND OPPORTUNITY

Television - rarely watch TV - but when I do, I love watching fashion oriented programs or sitcoms that make me laugh

Physical Activity - Because I work so hard and long (I didn't go outside for the last 10 days to even see the sun because I had to finish a book for a client) so when I work out - I could be outside for 2-3 hours straight or longer and then keep that pace for 10 days straight. Then I will only wear exercise clothes everywhere I go because I like to incorporate stretching into all that I do.

Religion - I don't attend church regularly - I see it as a building at many times, full of people that a few sincere searchers of truth - the majority hypocrites/judgmental of every acts BUT NOT THEIR OWN - I love God and see God everywhere I look - nature (I will talk to the birds while I walk), I deeply believe that you create your own universe by how you treat yourself and others. You write your own present and future - what you do to others, you immediately have done to yourself

Clothes - 2 closets full - but I wear the same thing everyday - exercise clothes - love their comfort - if I love it, I will buy it - from 2.00 to hundreds of dollars - to me everything on the planet is Italian in importance from generic to designer

Money - is meant to be SPENT - big baller, shot caller - you can't take it with you when you go - hold on to enough to be comfortable and to provide for your basic needs - both current and future - but the way the banks are collapsing and investments unstable - if you don't spend it - others will spend it for you in different ways (how many stock markets have crashed and everyone on the planet has lost milions? My question is where in the hell did it go? It was in the bank so how did it leave the bank?)

My View - flat tire? oil change? New/Different equipment? - From flat tire, to car wash, to old wiper blades and oil change - pull out the rubber gloves and get bust some suds. Do it yourself. I don't have the time to waste or money to throw away by standing in the middle of the road waiting on a mechanic - pull out the car jack - jack it up and change the frigging tire MAN.

I have worked with and had personal friends who were and are millionaires - they don't call road service - they get out and change it themselves - they also work elbow to elbow with their employees everyday - getting their hands and backsides dirty - these white and black men. There is no hierarchy until they get to the board room or to the bank or at home in their personal surroundings or when entertaining or dining out - then you know who they are - from the cut of the cloth of their suite you know them.

So for those of you who stuck with the reading what are your thoughts? How do I overlook these MAJOR DIFFERENCES? I really adore THIS MAN - I ADORE HIM - but we see things so differently. I am due to arrive in Nigeria in the next few months - I am hoping that our closer, physical proximity will show more similiarities and shed light on many areas where we can share more common views and/or COMPROMISE.