Dont know how to go about this. or how to start this write up with this delima i am in. i opened a new account to post this, cos i want to be anonymous. i will keep this as short as possible.i am turning 36 years old this year.

i started the dating and relationship thing late in life, cos i was struggling and fighting for life. my first real relationship lasted for 2 years, it ended in 2018, it was the hottest breakfast i would never wish my enemy cos i cried like a baby back then( i had high hopes with the relationship and was planing to get married to her). i was in a relationship with this "christian lady" back then.. she showed me shege, i found out that she was involve with 2 married men that has finished her "kpekus" she did several abortions for them. the relationship ended

After what happened in my previous relationship, i decided to stay off the relationship and dating scene for a while. but due to family and friends pressure to settledown and born.. i gave love another chance. This one also lasted 2 years. This ex was everything a man would wished for in a woman. beautiful, Great cook, kind, and she "knacks" like a pornster..her skill in the other room was top notch. But the relationship ended. the circumstance and situation of the heartbreak and hurt was so bad and terrible than my previous Ex. i didnt cry blood cos i was not emotional stronger after going through what the other ex did and make me go through.. so this relationship ended on a very bad and hurtful note, it was worse than the first

Again the pressure from friends and family started again. its always am not getting younger, all my friends have 2 or 3 kids, you're comfortable, you can take care of yourself and your wife and kids.. blah blah blah

Then i met this new girl last year, our relationship is around 4 months old. but i am already tired and considering quitting the relationship.. she's a good cook, a very kind lady too. but in the real sense of it, she is not my spec physically, and sexually we are just not on per, and recently i found out that this girl might/could be a Bisexual. i am strongly of the opinion that she is or have been a bisexual while in school or still being in the act.. i have put it to her but she denied it.. but i am 97% sure and certain she is a Bisexual.. We are just not on the wave length sexually.. Now what is really giving me serious problem is that she seems to be ready to settledown too. i am really looking into procreating, having a child this year due to my age (Cos it looks and feels like, every relationships i go into, i always seems to get terrible girls than the previous bad ones i had.. its always like i have them from bad to worse, and then to worst, if i leave this girl, what do i know i am going to see out there again? ) i dont want to be 40 and just having my first child. so i am seriously battling with the thoughts of ending the relationship before we gets too deep into it.. Alot of people says she is fine, but to me and deep down, this lady is not my spec, i dont want to make a decision that i will regret in the future. some says i am having a hard time with her due to what i have been through in my past relationships.



Does it make sense ending this relationship now? or still keeping her around cos she is also serious about settledown and me wanting a child.. pls dont question me about love if i love her or not.. The love inside of me died in 2018 when i had my first heartbreak. i believe the real true love is always between parents and their children. in the real sense of it and me being a realist. there's no real and true love out there.. "Everybody just dey manage everybody"


Pls pardon any grammatical error here, i just hope i am able to pass my message and concern across. i am really not just in the right sense today.. What's the probability that if i end the relationship with this girl. the next girl is not going to be worse and worst than all the previous ladies i have been with in the past...

And yes i dont mind having baby mama if i cant get a good girl to settledown with.

Mehn.. not again

T0BY:
Mehn.. not again

Lol.. Not again? Its like you have exhausted all your advice this year..lol

Its actually an interesting read. .i dont have advice.. @ OP do whatever you feel is right for you.

If she's a bisexual as you said. Boss isnt that sure 3sum sitting on your table

Baba.. honestly, relationship wahala no dey finish for this romance section aswear.

stillseth:


Lol.. Not again? Its like you have exhausted all your advice this year..lol

Its actually an interesting read. .i dont have advice.. @ OP do whatever you feel is right for you.

If she's a bisexual as you said. Boss isnt that sure 3sum sitting on your table

T0BY:
Baba.. honestly, relationship wahala no dey finish for this romance section aswear.

Its good na.. atleast person go learn from some people story and situation..

Alright

stillseth:


Its good na.. atleast person go learn from some people story and situation..

End the relationship if you don't have peace of mind

Before the relationship makes you rest in peace

End the relationship now since you already have some strong reservations about it

SPiderman23:
Dont know how to go about this. or how to start this write up with this delima i am in. i opened a new account to post this, cos i want to be anonymous. i will keep this as short as possible.i am turning 36 years old this year.

i started the dating and relationship thing late in life, cos i was struggling and fighting for life. my first real relationship lasted for 2 years, it ended in 2018, it was the hottest breakfast i would never wish my enemy cos i cried like a baby back then( i had high hopes with the relationship and was planing to get married to her). i was in a relationship with this "christian lady" back then.. she showed me shege, i found out that she was involve with 2 married men that has finished her "kpekus" she did several abortions for them. the relationship ended

After what happened in my previous relationship, i decided to stay off the relationship and dating scene for a while. but due to family and friends pressure to settledown and born.. i gave love another chance. This one also lasted 2 years. This ex was everything a man would wished for in a woman. beautiful, Great cook, kind, and she "knacks" like a pornster..her skill in the other room was top notch. But the relationship ended. the circumstance and situation of the heartbreak and hurt was so bad and terrible than my previous Ex. i didnt cry blood cos i was not emotional stronger after going through what the other ex did and make me go through.. so this relationship ended on a very bad and hurtful note, it was worse than the first

Again the pressure from friends and family started again. its always am not getting younger, all my friends have 2 or 3 kids, you're comfortable, you can take care of yourself and your wife and kids.. blah blah blah

Then i met this new girl last year, our relationship is around 4 months old. but i am already tired and considering quitting the relationship.. she's a good cook, a very kind lady too. but in the real sense of it, she is not my spec physically, and sexually we are just not on per, and recently i found out that this girl might/could be a Bisexual. i am strongly of the opinion that she is or have been a bisexual while in school or still being in the act.. i have put it to her but she denied it.. but i am 97% sure and certain she is a Bisexual.. We are just not on the wave length sexually.. Now what is really giving me serious problem is that she seems to be ready to settledown too. i am really looking into procreating, having a child this year due to my age (Cos it looks and feels like, every relationships i go into, i always seems to get terrible girls than the previous bad ones i had.. its always like i have them from bad to worse, and then to worst, if i leave this girl, what do i know i am going to see out there again? ) i dont want to be 40 and just having my first child. so i am seriously battling with the thoughts of ending the relationship before we gets too deep into it.. Alot of people says she is fine, but to me and deep down, this lady is not my spec, i dont want to make a decision that i will regret in the future. some says i am having a hard time with her due to what i have been through in my past relationships.



Does it make sense ending this relationship now? or still keeping her around cos she is also serious about settledown and me wanting a child.. pls dont question me about love if i love her or not.. The love inside of me died in 2018 when i had my first heartbreak. i believe the real true love is always between parents and their children. in the real sense of it and me being a realist. there's no real and true love out there.. "Everybody just dey manage everybody"


Pls pardon any grammatical error here, i just hope i am able to pass my message and concern across. i am really not just in the right sense today.. What's the probability that if i end the relationship with this girl. the next girl is not going to be worse and worst than all the previous ladies i have been with in the past...

And yes i dont mind having baby mama if i cant get a good girl to settledown with.

Firstly, dnt marry hu no match you. Two, what happened with the second girl, why una break up

akube34:
Firstly, dnt marry hu no match you. Two, what happened with the second girl, why una break up

If i say what happened with the 2nd girl. the people in my life that reads nairaland will figure out who posted this story.. so lets just keep it anonymous like this.. But what the second did was terrible and bad than the first.. . anyway. i appreciate your input

Kobicove:
End the relationship now since you already have some strong reservations about it

my concern is, what if i end the relationship and the next lady i meet is worse than this? cos that seems to have been my situation.. its just feels like i no get relationship luck

Since she's not your spec and you don't love her, It's best to let her go and find her man rather you continue to waste her time.
Moreover, you also said your love has died a long time ago. Just find a ur spec and impregnate her and let the story settle

Believe you'll find a better match and you will. Don't let the fear of what if keep you with a lady you're not attracted to.

Also, Maybe, try to look for ladies in the older age group, as I want to believe your exes are of the younger age group. Dating from a different dating pool might yield better results

The worst error you'll make in life is to marry out of pressure. Cos 9 out of 10 people who do so end up making wrong choices.

If the girl in question doesn't meet your wife material standards, by all means let her go. Don't force yourself into a lifetime of regrets simply because you couldn't stand the pressure mounted on you by friends and family members. Cos believe me, they won't be there when the drama begins.

My advice, take a break from relationships, play the social role...make friends with girls who's physical appearance matches what you want in a woman, be friends with them and take your time study which of them you'll be compatible with. When you eventually make your choice, cutoff from the rest. Your actions wouldn't be unfair cos you never had any sexual relationship with them, neither did you officially ask them out. You were just friends.

This would save you the stress of constantly falling in love with the wrong women.

The love inside of u died in 2018 when u had ur first heartbreak, so need to consider marriage since u re incapable of love just follow the baby mama trend

Thank you..Another thing that scare the shit outta me is that.. whats the probability that i wont meet someone that's worse than those i have had.. cos its seems women i date seems to be from the bad to the worse and to the worst... Anyway, i apprecaite your advice and input

Nazgul:
The worst error you'll make in life is to marry out of pressure. Cos 9 out of 10 people who do so end up making wrong choices.

If the girl in question doesn't meet your wife material standards, by all means let her go. Don't force yourself into a lifetime of regrets simply because you couldn't stand the pressure mounted on you by friends and family members. Cos believe me, they won't be there when the drama begins.

My advice, take a break from relationships, play the social role...make friends with girls who's physical appearance matches what you want in a woman, be friends with them and take your time study which of them you'll be compatible with. When you eventually make your choice, cutoff from the rest. Your actions wouldn't be unfair cos you never had any sexual relationship with them, neither did you officially ask them out. You were just friends.

This would save you the stress of constantly falling in love with the wrong women.

Dyfynezz12:
The love inside of u died in 2018 when u had ur first heartbreak, so need to consider marriage since u re incapable of love just follow the baby mama trend

That is what i am seriously considering. . Cos i have given up on True love

Go for pre marrrital counselling with Finke Adetuberi .search for her on any hadle.
This will help you out.

But wait a moment.. what is with girls especially the single ones and single moms dating and aborting for married men?.. Don't you people have conscience or what?. The stuff is a serious issue bedeviling our society yet noone seems to care..

@OP Age is not on your side, agreed but know this that the worst thing that can happen to anyboby (male or female) is to enter into a wrong marriage with the wrong spouse. Pst. Adeboye likened it to one's hell starting right here on earth.
If you don't find her attractive, please free her or you both can sit down to discuss on way forward. Don't marry out of pity and don't enter marriage with someone you don't love or find attractive.. My two cents. #Peace