I don't think anyone can stop men from cheating in Nigeria, It is a more bigger problem than just cheating. It is basically a supply & demand problem. Nigeria is the only place where young women feel like dating married men is more lucrative & young men are broke have nothing to offer & sincerely they are right about that one because honestly young guys are mostly broke.

Young women: Single young guys have nothing to offer, I prefer older men(married), they are more mature. I have a lot of bills to sort and these married men can sort it. Older married men: I have a lot of sexual urge to quench and there are a lot of young women willing to start a dating or relationship on the side. All i need to provide is money & I have plenty of it in abundance.

So Demand & Supply OR Supply & Demand. Same thing. Both of the industries need each other. My advice to married women is vet your Fiancee very well, try visiting him many times. Check his phone, his laptop, his email, his Instagram, His sister's house, mother's house. His secretary, His Female church sisters. Report him to his parents, guardian or use police to threaten him. May God deliver us all.

You again, this sententious, frustrated, and chauvinistic haggard lady. Anyway, it is only bumpkins that would not be able to see through you and your shenanigans.

Kelechi009:
I don't think anyone can stop men from cheating in Nigeria, It is a more bigger problem than just cheating. It is basically a supply & demand problem. Nigeria is the only place where young women feel like dating married men is more lucrative & young men are broke have nothing to offer & sincerely they are right about that one because honestly young guys are mostly broke.

Young women: Single young guys have nothing to offer, I prefer older men(married), they are more mature. I have a lot of bills to sort and these married men can sort it. Older married men: I have a lot of sexual urge to quench and there are a lot of young women willing to start a dating or relationship on the side. All i need to provide is money & I have plenty of it in abundance.

So Demand & Supply OR Supply & Demand. Same thing. Both of the industries need each other. My advice to married women is vet your Fiancee very well, try visiting him many times. Check his phone, his laptop, his email, his Instagram, His sister's house, mother's house. His secretary, His Female church sisters. Report him to his parents, guardian or use police to threaten him. May God deliver us all.

A wise economist once said:
Morality is the way we think the world works,
Economics defines the way the world really works.

People have wants and they are willing to do
whatever it takes to satisfy those wants.

As for cheating, whatever people do, they should
always guard their health, good health can't be
bought in the marketplace, it can't be bought in
the hospital or pharmacy.

I think one of the reasons people keep craving
for something, even if they have something
similar is due to dissatisfaction and a lack of
appreciation for what one has.

People should learn to appreciate what they have
and should stop trying to run after the next
hot thing(shiny object syndrome).

Shiny object syndrome (SOS) is a continual state of distraction brought on by an ongoing belief that there is something new worth pursuing.
It often comes at the expense of what's already planned or underway.

It's rooted in that childhood phenomenon of always wanting a new toy, even if your current toy is just fine.

Exodus15v11:
Going by your post [e.g. her emaciated body, and the cough] she probably has both HIV and TB [Tuberculosis]. TB is a co-infection of HIV - aka. it's often seen in those with HIV, especially in countries like Nigeria where both are still prevalent, and both produce the two above symptoms. TB is airborne [spreads through the air from one person to another]. She should not be at work or perhaps y'all should wear masks around her. It's too bad she's in this situation.

May God lay His healing hands on her, in Jesus' name. Amen.

Amen.

id4sho:
Let's be guided and cautious.
-lots of young mothers not breastfeeding
-thin people coughing upandan
-strange rashes
- be careful of widows and widowers, ask and confirm what happened to killed their partner. That thing that killed their partner, can also kill you too. Be weary of single parents too

I'm telling you!!!

People should learn to ask questions before rushing themselves to bed. That's all I'm trying to warn the public about. It is well.

EriMma1:


I'm telling you!!!

People should learn to ask questions before rushing themselves to bed. That's all I'm trying to warn the public about. It is well.

Forget those attacking the message, thy won't read between the lines. They think it's a class quiz that words win

id4sho:


Forget those attacking the message, thy won't read between the lines. They think it's a class quiz that words win

Im not bothered about them cos it's obvious they are guilty from their argument in defence of the shameful act. Trying to erase it as a probable cause of the woman's predicament.

They are highly excused from this post.

EriMma1:


But its common among the men. Even worse.

It is you who says so

vastolord4:


It is you who says so

It's not me who says so. It's a known fact.
Men cheat like it's nothing and are not ready to throw in the towel going by their arguments anytime this issue is raised.

your supposed level of education should eliminate your act of assumption and gender biased judgment.

the advice should be that couples should remain faithful to each other.

OP did not ascertain the actual issue with the colleague but just assumed its Aids. Meanwhile, the likelihood of her issue being aids is very slim as she would have known after her husband's demise and started taking the retroviral drugs to stay healthy. Madam could be afflicted with any other health challenge fa. May God help us all.

This is how stigmatization starts at the workplace, please dont assume, if you're so curious simply ask her. She might not mind sharing. It is really well.

EriMma1:
Long post alert!

For the first time, I'll be making an open plea to the male folks concerning the issue of extra marital affairs and cheating in general.

It is common knowledge that men cheat and do it without remorse. They even brag about it sometimes claiming it's a man's world and all that bullcrap. One thing they fail to realize is that living such careless life puts them and their familys health at risk plus other dangers and misfortune associated with such lifestyle. They not only suffer the consequences of their actions alone but their family directly or indirectly get to share in the suffering.

Now, something happened that prompted me to make this post. This is coming from a place of concern for other families out there who may likely fall victim or are being carelessly exposed to what I'm am about to share if the men don't heed to this advice and make necessary adjustments or turn a new leaf.

There's this colleague of mine who joined the company three years ago. After like a year, I got to know she lost her husband a year before she joined the company. I asked her how, she said he was ill. I didn't think anything of it and just sympathized with her. I tried to advise her to remarry as shes still very young and needs someone to help her raise her three children ( ages 10, 12, 13) but each time I raised the topic she'll wave it. So I stopped bugging her.

Fastforward to mid last year, this woman fell seriously I'll. She became so lean. As in.. she was literally bones. Later she recovered but was still very lean.

Last week, when I got to work, I didn't see her and was told she fell I'll again. Mehn... When she resumed yesterday, it was clear this woman has AIDs. She looks full blown and was coughing in her sit with so much effort as there's no muscle or strength to support her. I nearly wept. I just walked out of the place. I was even angry why they let her resume looking like that.
It now dawned on me that the husband prolly infected her with the disease. Now he's dead and gone. The poor woman is now falling in and out of sickness with three children to cater for.

Men, why?
Why do you people like to put your family in such pains just because of 5 mins fun with another girl who you know nothing about her health status?

You men know yourselves and know how you loose control at the mere sight of a womans body and want it so badly at all cost, not minding what happens thereafter and won't rest until youve laid her. Why? Now see what this woman is going through all because she agreed to marry a man. Men why??

Whats the point having a momentary Bliss that will cut your life short and put your family in everlasting grief and sorrow?

Hmmm... Please, please and please, men!!!. talk to yourselves. Advise yourselves and stop this promiscuous life. It will lead you to no good. If you're the type that swims in it, please stop it now before it's too late.

Women, dont stick to a cheating husband. You don't want to go through what this colleague of mine is passing through now. She can't even look you in the face cos all her eyes are sunken in and her cheek bones are sticking out so badly. Shes coming to work in that state because her children need to feed and survive.

Women, once you suspect your husband of sleeping around, please run for your life.

Nuf said!

Very touching story.



But let me tell you something you may not be aware of before now.


Science and real life experiences have revealed that men hardly contract HIV through normal sex with a woman.


A man can only contract HIV through vaginal sex if the man have wound or sore on his penis, if not, its very difficult for a man to contract HIV from vaginal penetrative sex. Though it happens but very slim and its mostly when the man has other STIs that leads to him having rashes, open wound or boil that then exposes him to HIV infection.


Most men that contract HIV contract it through;

1.) Gay practice because they engage in anal sex which easily ruptures their anal walls and when their HIV infected partner ejaculates inside, it is over or during the process their HIV positive partner's penis might get bruised and from there both exchanges fluids and that's it.


That's why gays easily contract HIV


2.) Local pedicure and manicure aka Aboki nail cutters. This is a very dangerous practice especially when the Aboki is careless and cutting nails for plenty men at same spot like car wash outlet, football viewing center, drink joint, marketplace, etc. If the Aboki mistakenly injures one of them who happens to be positive and mistakenly injures the next person, then there is disaster



3.) Berber place; many believe this is not possible but its actually very possible if you don't have your own clipper. Guys try have your own clipper, you can save a little to get one to protect yourself, sighs



4.) MouthAction; guys avoid this rubbish at all cost. Don't give any girl head, be it your wife, girlfriend or mistress, avoid giving head at all cost, the demerits far outweigh the merits.


MouthAction exposes men to all sorts of infections than any other kind of sex practice.



In conclusion, Erimma, even though your message is very important and should be taken serious by all men (married and single), I think women (married and single) should be more careful with sex because women are generally more exposed to HIV and other sexually transmitted infections than men. Women's body is open as in very open. No woman can have sex with a HIV positive man and not get infected, but I have heard several real life stories of men that had sex with HIV positive ladies and still ended up negative, and the reason is because men hardly contract HIV through vaginal penetration sex.



If not, many men will be walking corpses because a lot of both married and single guys have unknowingly slept with different HIV positive ladies without knowing and they are still negative simply because it is very difficult and rare for a man to contract HIV through vaginal penetration sex, unless the man have an injury or rash or bruises on his penis or groins.



This is why it is advisable for men to avoid having sex whenever they sense rashes, injury, bruises or wound around their genital area because it will expose you to all manner of infections including HIV.



So Erimma, its possible the lady secretly infected her husband who didn't know he has been infected and start ARV on time which led to him falling sick earlier before his wife, while his wife that brought the infection was secretly using her ARV that prolonged her own sickness from being visible.



Take it from me, its mostly women that infect their husbands or boyfriends who are careless in giving them head, doing oral anyhow, fvcking their so called faithful girlfriends and wives even when they have bruises or injury or rashes around their genital area.



As a man, you must take care of your health, if you must dive any woman, avoid unprotected sex, buy quality condom, and avoid sex whenever you have rashes, bruises, injuries, etc around your body, especially your genital area and avoid kissing anyhow too. Don't give any woman head, tell her its a taboo in your culture, men stop giving head even to your wife don't do it.



And to the ladies, whether you are married or single, you are at high risk of contracting HIV and other STIs anytime you are having sex, have this at the back of your mind cos your whole body is just open and prone to all manner of infections.


Ladies avoid unprotected sex. Insist the man use condom oh and always help him put on the condom and don't accept doggy if he isn't your husband or close boyfriend cos he can pull off the condom in the middle of the sex and you won't know and that will be opari for you



As a married lady, avoid cheating at all cost, a cheating woman stands to lose more than she stands to gain. Forget the stupid reasoning that your husband maybe cheating or is cheating, don't cheat because of that, instead if you suspect your husband is cheating, stop all forms of sex with him until thorough medical screening is done to protect yourself.



A cheating married woman is a ticking time bomb more than a cheating married man, sorry if I sound misogynist but thats the saddest truth about life.



As a man avoid gay practice, it exposes you to HIV infection more than any other thing.


Avoid brothel girls.


Stop fvcking raw, use condom, I mean quality condom that doesn't tear easily oh, 1500 should be able to get you quality condom in Nigeria, avoid Gold cycle na scam. You can still enjoy sex with condom stop saying you don't enjoy it, it's because you have made up your mind that you won't enjoy sex with condom which is fallacy.



Even with your wife, if you guys aren't working to make baby, use condom, it also helps you in proper family planning, withdrawal method doesn't work na scam, stop deceiving yourself.



As a man too, if you de cheat, protect your wife by insisting on condoms always until you undergo screening for like 6months or 8months to ensure you are completely free of any infection.




Erimma please also make a thread to forewarn married ladies to avoid cheating cos most times na them de infect their husbands cos women contract HIV more easily than men because of the open nature of women's body, peace and well done with your amazing thread

You're just making assumptions.

Did she tell you how her husband died?
And how do you know she has AIDS? It could be another terminal condition like Cancer.

Nebes:


I know a woman that gave the HIV to her husband. She was secretly taking her antivirals without telling her husband. The man nearly committed suicide the day he tested positive to HIV.

We all should avoid illicit sex. Don't just vilify men because the transmission goes both ways.

You're lying or she did. If she was taking her medication and became undetectable. She can't have passed on the virus.

Even if she wasn't on any retrovirals, it's difficult for a man to get HIV from a woman.

1Sharon:


You're lying or she did. If she was taking her medication and became undetectable. She can't have passed on the virus.

Even if she wasn't on any retrovirals, it's difficult for a man to get HIV from a woman.

Are you saying that all the men that live with HIV got it from their fellow men?

The woman in my comment could have transmitted the virus prior to commencing the antiretrovirals.

Lastly, are you a doctor?

To women who tell their men no sex before marriage...especially to a guy who you know doesn't sleep around..the day konji enter am e go go outside lash pusssyyy wey go last for a lifetime in one month and God help you the outside own con sabi give am different styles..u go just become endangered specie

Sounds like cancer....

Women as usual....

Always making stupid assumptions
Blames men for what happens
Wants to be the victims all the time
Blame another man for whatever happens to his wife even when he is dead already(the guy go dey cry for grave)

Instead of believing most women,just watch how they act.

EriMma1:


But its common among the men. Even worse.

And who did the men get it from? ...

EriMma1:


Your own excuses and argument are lame. You didn't even see her to know it not AIDs.
At least, there are signs and symptoms associated with AIDs that has been taught overtime that people should look out for that you don't need to go to the lab sometimes before you can tell it's AIDs.

You're the one who is sounding VERY LAME and making ERRONEOUS ASSUMPTIONS ...

First of...
What are those "signs and symptoms" you observed that made you conclude that she has AIDS? ...

Secondly...
Are you aware that an array of signs and symptoms can surface in different illnesses?

That is to say different illnesses can have the same "signs and symptoms" and only a medical test can point out for certainty which is which ...

Thirdly...
How are you certain that her husband ACTUALLY died of AIDS, did you carry out his autopsy yourself or do you have access to his autopsy results or is that what you were told? ...

Fourthly...
How are you sure that he transmitted the disease to her, abi is that what she told you? ...

ONE THING I KNOW FOR CERTAIN IS THAT YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE YO ANSWER ANY OF THE ABOVE QUESTIONS ...

And the fact that you can make this kind of erroneous thread is proof of YOUR IGNORANCE ...

Nebes:


Are you saying that all the men that live with HIV got it from their fellow men?

The woman in my comment could have transmitted the virus prior to commencing the antiretrovirals.

Lastly, are you a doctor?

You don't need to argue such dumb reasoning.
Imagine saying it is rare for a man to get HIV from a woman. Can you beat that?

Ignore them.

Gloriagee:
Sounds like cancer....

You think so? I wish you saw this person.

I know cancer patients emanciate and it's as a result of the chemotherapy they undergo but even at that, they dont enmanciate so badly to the extent of looking like bones and tendons only.

EriMma1:


It's excuses like this that make people to still continue to mess up their life's.

I don't know why you guys are trying to deviate from the main purpose of this post by citing flimsy excuses. Ok, leave what is wrong with her and at least speak against promiscuity that is on the rise in our society.

U are not making any sense and people are correcting ur stupidity yet ur being adamant. Is promiscuity gender based? Are u even certain of anything u typed in the original post? Why are u foolishly assuming only men cheat and infect their partners with wtv diseases? Drop assumptions and state facts so u don't appear foolishly bias like u have ulterior motives with ur thread

There are so many HIV positive individuals out there. Many already on ART while some are still in "denial state" that is the they can't believe they are positive due to the fact that they are not promiscuous. We have toddlers, aged, fat, slim, dark skinned, light skinned, ugly, beautiful, rich, poor, and religious and political leaders which include pastors, imams and traditionalists.
The spread of HIV will remain difficult to eradicate because

1- Poverty is the first which is why we have more female positive than male. Most female (not all) find it hard to earn legitimately and so depend on living promiscuous lifestyle to make ends meet. Not judging them anyway.

2- A few positive individuals with the mindset that someone infected them, they too would get others infected.

3- careless mothers who fail to adhere guidelines of means to avoid mother to child transmission. Ending up raising children who are positive.

4- Anal sex especially in homosexual males having unprotected sex

5- stopping ART medications by already confirmed client after feeling they are no longer feel and look sick and the return to the lifestyle that got them exposed initially.

6- promiscuity is the king of all. But can be avoided if we accept our culture isn't seen as barbaric. Which includes sex before marriage( practically difficult in most cases).
Polygamy and polyandry. Depending on the one your culture recognize.

The moment you understand that we have HIV positive individuals all around us the better. We have HIV positive career officers, food vendors, family members, colleagues,students from kindergarten to tertiary and religious leaders too whom we associate with on a daily basis and we are not positive. So stopping discrimination might help a lot.

I've seen things in my line of work.

Nebes:


Are you saying that all the men that live with HIV got it from their fellow men?

The woman in my comment could have transmitted the virus prior to commencing the antiretrovirals.

Lastly, are you a doctor?

Why do you think gay men have the disease more??
For a straight man to get HIV, there needs to be so many other factors involved. Its not that simple.

No dey talk "could have" be certain of what you're saying.

Not a Dr but a student

EriMma1:


My dear, if you see her ehn? You'll weep. You could see her bones sticking out and pushing through her clothes.

I'm just like, if she knew, she wouldn't have gotten married and maybe now, she'll be living het best life.

How did you come to the conclusion that her husband infected her with the HIV? It could have been the other way round. The husband could have died because he was more prone to opportunistic infections than the wife due to weaker immune system

Jman06:
How did you come to the conclusion that her husband infected her with the HIV? It could have been the other way round. The husband could have died because he was more prone to opportunistic infections than the wife due to weaker immune system

There some things that require common sense to decipher. Anyways, I just connected the dots judging from how he died first to get to that conclusion..

Bolubaba:
There are so many HIV positive individuals out there. Many already on ART while some are still in "denial state" that is the they can't believe they are positive due to the fact that they are not promiscuous. We have toddlers, aged, fat, slim, dark skinned, light skinned, ugly, beautiful, rich, poor, and religious and political leaders which include pastors, imams and traditionalists.
The spread of HIV will remain difficult to eradicate because

1- Poverty is the first which is why we have more female positive than male. Most female (not all) find it hard to earn legitimately and so depend on living promiscuous lifestyle to make ends meet. Not judging them anyway.

2- A few positive individuals with the mindset that someone infected them, they too would get others infected.

3- careless mothers who fail to adhere guidelines of means to avoid mother to child transmission. Ending up raising children who are positive.

4- Anal sex especially in homosexual males having unprotected sex

5- stopping ART medications by already confirmed client after feeling they are no longer feel and look sick and the return to the lifestyle that got them exposed initially.

6- promiscuity is the king of all. But can be avoided if we accept our culture isn't seen as barbaric. Which includes sex before marriage( practically difficult in most cases).
Polygamy and polyandry. Depending on the one your culture recognize.

The moment you understand that we have HIV positive individuals all around us the better. We have HIV positive career officers, food vendors, family members, colleagues,students from kindergarten to tertiary and religious leaders too whom we associate with on a daily basis and we are not positive. So stopping discrimination might help a lot.

I've things in my line of work.

Good points.
The problem with most people is that instead of working on themselves and lead a decent life, they'll argue baselessly on how it's not possible to get it through promiscuity or the opposite sex. This they do so they can continue to indulge in the act. They don't like to hear the bitter truth.

Anyways, I've made my points clear. It's left for whoever is concerned to take it or ignore as usual.

werey

Gotocourt:
That's how I got gonorrhea and passed it to my faithful girlfriend

Vivian na God go punish you

EriMma1:


There some things that require common sense to decipher. Anyways, I just connected the dots judging from how he died first to get to that conclusion..

As far as HIV AIDS is concerned, you can't always tell who infected who based on information about who died first.

Jman06:
As far as HIV AIDS is concerned, you can't always tell who infected who based on information about who died first.

A case where they both are not aware of their status, it's the one who infects the other that starts manifesting first and may even die before the partner. Except if they were both infected almost the same time.