kay29000:


Are you the original owner of the content?

OkayDaddy:


Blame Tinubu for everything, even your poverty and inability to pay your rent. Why don't you move into your father's house?
Your mates are building plazas, you are here talking rubbish.

maasoap:


Confirmed!
But sadly, no parents would allow their kids to go and eat "saarah" today. Things have gone worse, no one trust the next door neighbour

Nazgul:
One thing I was made to understand about that kind of environment is that people living there hardly prosper...I may be wrong though na hear I hear am.

Angelfrost:
...And the list remains endless!

Op, you try!!!

But, you forgot to mention that some of them are residents of this forum, where they come claiming to be wealthier than Seun Osewa!

AsomStructures:
1. It’s sometimes called Face Me I slap you due to the incessant fights daily. E ma ja ju. If you don’t fight, someone will fight you. You must fight. "Ta lo gbe omi ti mo pon sibi?" (Ija de).

2. You can never go hungry unless you don’t know your way around. Enter the kitchen at the backyard and start whining who’s cooking. Drop small gist about another neighbor, walahi waa jeun ju. Gbenusi no be atenu.

Output - Gbeborun
Input - Food

3. There’s always that man who will claim he has been living in the house before the house was even built. They are always proud of the years they have lived there. They know everyone and when they were given birth to. (Ancestor Tenant)

4. There will be this group of girls living together. They are always at home during the day except at night. Mothers always warn their children not to enter their room. "Ti mo ba ri e ninu yara awon Anti yen, maa fe lu e daku" but these sisters are always kind. 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

5. There must be an old woman who settles a fight. Mama of the house. She is always sitting outside monitoring what is happening on the street. In most cases, she's the landlady. They always have nicknames like "Iya Jeje" "Iya Kofewahala" "Iya Cele".

6. There’s always a landlord wannabe whom everyone hates. He acts like the landlord and he’s always like “Don’t pour waste there” “Pay your nepa bill” and "We will lock this gate by

7pm" bla bla. You will think his name is in the Landlord's will but he's a tenant too. Gboromideleru

8. There must be a regular debtor who doesn’t pay his bills on time, he pays January bills by April. Always coming up with excuses. "My mama just die", the same thing he said last year. Ogbontarigi onigbese

9. One rich tenant must be in the house, he will keep buying things his landlord can never afford. He owes small rent but he’s using 4 ACs, 2 deep freezers, 17 flatscreen TVs, and 54 generators. The landlord hates him but he can't send him away because omo buruku lojo tie.

10. There’s always that Single Aunty who is neat. She will be between 35 to 40 years, speaks good English, and doesn’t like to mingle with other women in the house. (Children call her Aunty). It is the day you look for her trouble you will know that werey wa nle.

10. Every Face Me I face you comes with a fight merchant who can fight till tomorrow. Always representing home and away (Street Fighter). Fijabi igboro 🙌. She will always come home with torn singlets. Werey tun ti lo ja. Everyone in the compound fears her. Even her parents.

11. Nepa bill fight ✅, waste bill fight ✅, rent increment fight ✅, I entered the bathroom before you fight ✅, you poured water at my doorstep fight ✅, you beat my child fight ✅, you sent my child on an errand fight ✅, you talked about me behind my back fight
your wife beat my wife fight ✅, you are dating my husband fight ✅, you used my water fight ✅
At least, 16 fights per month. Tenanté de WWE 🙌.

12. There’s this big boy who brings different girls home, fine room. Always disturbing everyone with loudspeakers

13. There’s always a Gbeborun-General of the whole house. She sees everything, knows everything, and gossips about everything. The moment you hear "shey e ti gbo", just know you are getting served. Her name is always mentioned during every fight. Olofofo

14. Every morning, parents spend 5 hours bath one child outside. These boys are strong. I no dey bath, na by force

15. Sunday meetings are always like this. The landlord is on the high table and everyone keeps ranting and ranting. After 465 suggestions, the landlord won't do any. No item 7 sha o.

16. Every house has that woman that can send children on errands ehn. All the children dislike her. The moment she enters the passage or calls a name, the children will run into their rooms and act like they are asleep. She will never go anywhere herself afi bi afishe.

17. So far it's a Face Me I face you in Bariga, you will always see this tanker everymonth. Awon kogbe kogbe. The entire street will smell for days but o ti mo wa lara.

18. There's always a woman who uses song to insult people during a fight. These people can be very talented. She will use the song to insult and kickstart a fight.

You can add yours 😂😂😂

Nazgul:
One thing I was made to understand about that kind of environment is that people living there hardly prosper...I may be wrong though na hear I hear am.

Triangles1:
My mother paid my bills when I was in school, the moment I entered final year she stopped paying for my rent and other bills, it was difficult to retain the rent so I moved to face me and face you apartment, I learned what my father/mother never thought me, I get to understand there's another name for poverty which is disease.

Their gossip is topnotch.

Grown up matured human being defecate without flushing and they see nothing wrong about it, you have to wake up early to use the bathroom.

Sadly, some of this slay queen you see on the street if you enter their room you will want to close your eyes to kiss them, I'm not hating our girls but their second name should be dirty.

pol23:
In 2012 when I spilled in the university (extra year) nobody to pay my hostel fee, I had to go squat with my friend who live in town in a face me I face you house.. Things really happened.
many of the occupant are not student...
for me whey I spill and no dey go school everyday cos no transport money, I saw plenty things.
it's 1 bathroom and 1 toilet for everybody (very dirty) bachelor go dey give married woman something for bathroom....
Me too nearly choke something for our landlady's daugther, who's older with a kid.... She was never married
It was really a crazy experience ..... one bros whey dey ride Okada for that area will also bring home different women and fine girl at any given time of the day for quickie... At a point I start begging this bros for Babe.

Heroicvic:


Yes

sharone21:
19) They usually prefer brushing their teeth outside even when God promotes them to living in a flat or duplex.

There is a proverb in my place that when a King wanted to visit another person with his slave, he begged the slave to behave himself well so that nobody will look at him as such. However, when they arrived as guests to his rich master's fellow rich friend's house, the slave immediately sat on the floor even when the master was seated on the chair and beckoning on him to come sit with him.

AsomStructures:


I think that notion is incorrect. Some person's that have once lived in that type of condition have amounted to be something great today..
See our just concluded 3bedroom bungalow construction if you're about starting your building project.. Link in my signature. Plus we offer building designs and construction services nationwide

KnowledgePower7:

Victor Oshimen lived in a face me I slap u house for 12 years.
He was selling pure water in Lagos traffic

Go and ask him if he prospered..

Infact
I'm very sure you can't even afford flight ticket to go to Italy and ask Oshimen that question

Heroicvic:


You be mumu

DrAkpamudehe:


And for 3yrs, U couldn't save to build even a 1bedroom bungalow in mowe or any outskirt? I am sure U are not from the east.

OvertheTop:


why do you have to give everything Ethnic Coloring?

Is the Bolded a Guarantee for Success or make you immune to poverty??

Goddyrichie:
see as u cast me with d number 10 u too bad

placeofallure:


You are very wrong.

Infact I was smiling as I read through everything the writer said cause I can relate. I have lived in that kinda environment. I was born there and grew up there and every character the OP described was present in our house. We do fight but those fights never last beyond hours. And if an outsider dared to fight anyone among us, he is in deep trouble.

We have eaten sacrifices too but we're good. You know that thing they call "saara", we don chop am. We're plenty. There was no house in our neighborhood then that could boast of about 50 or 60 children except our house. Even from the nearby streets, they come and hire or rent us to come and eat saara and our parents oblige gladly. Damn!

We don't shy away from running errands, in fact we love it. All the children will gather today and fetch water for Iya Bose. Tomorrow, we will fetch for Iya Idowu, we will fetch for Iya Sara etc. My mum was the disciplinarian of the compound. Every child fears her, she's Madam Kogberegbe. That attitude shapened me and I'm eternally grateful to her for that. My dad doesn't beat, he's never beaten me as a matter of fact.

Talking about being successful in life, more than half of us do not live in Nigeria anymore. They live in overseas countries and they're doing well. We have chartered accountants, we have lecturers, we have bank managers, we have CEOs now. I have fond memories of that house and all of us still communicate till tomorrow, we attend family events together still. We loved ourselves truly.

Sadly, all the elderly males (the fathers) are dead except my dad yet he wasn't the youngest then. Talk about God's superfluous blessings.

Fond memories, fond thoughts.

Superpack589:


I love the way you write.

placeofallure:


You are very wrong.

Infact I was smiling as I read through everything the writer said cause I can relate. I have lived in that kinda environment. I was born there and grew up there and every character the OP described was present in our house. We do fight but those fights never last beyond hours. And if an outsider dared to fight anyone among us, he is in deep trouble.

We have eaten sacrifices too but we're good. You know that thing they call "saara", we don chop am. We're plenty. There was no house in our neighborhood then that could boast of about 50 or 60 children except our house. Even from the nearby streets, they come and hire or rent us to come and eat saara and our parents oblige gladly. Damn!

We don't shy away from running errands, in fact we love it. All the children will gather today and fetch water for Iya Bose. Tomorrow, we will fetch for Iya Idowu, we will fetch for Iya Sara etc. My mum was the disciplinarian of the compound. Every child fears her, she's Madam Kogberegbe. That attitude shapened me and I'm eternally grateful to her for that. My dad doesn't beat, he's never beaten me as a matter of fact.

Talking about being successful in life, more than half of us do not live in Nigeria anymore. They live in overseas countries and they're doing well. We have chartered accountants, we have lecturers, we have bank managers, we have CEOs now. I have fond memories of that house and all of us still communicate till tomorrow, we attend family events together still. We loved ourselves truly.

Sadly, all the elderly males (the fathers) are dead except my dad yet he wasn't the youngest then. Talk about God's superfluous blessings.

Fond memories, fond thoughts.

XAUBulls:

Hi @Placeofallure, thats an awesome story! I love the fact that you guys made it in life.

But then... *Cough*

So, you mean you ate "ebo?"
You guys were something else back
in the day with regards to risk-taking. Lol.

placeofallure:




Been a while. How do you do? Have an enjoyable weekend.

Oluromantic:
No privacy at all. Everything you do is known either by sight or by gossips

Especially if you have 'i better pass my neighbor gen' you cant have privacy at all. Slippers will lay on each other at your doorstep for incessant phone chargers who, instead of dropping thier phones and leave, will stay to discuss Chelsea and man-u match.

Your door net will be sliding open and close for as long as the gen is on... You won't be able to sleep