Your wife is not your relationship.

Tell him to return to Nigeria before depression will kill him or make him run mad

ahnie:
Things are happening o.
Semi docile in naija,powerful in the abroad.
Their 6tem really favours my gender.

Don’t believe all these NL lies. If she does any of those things she accused him of, she will be brought to Justice too. Like domestic violence, child abuse etc

But do you know sometimes it might also be the woman that's at Fault but due to the Law over there they always play the Victim,Imagine viewing the high rate of Paternity Fraud in the western world and the lady goes Scott free even after subjecting the man to pains at time Jailing the man.

olabrinks:
I understand what you’re saying but in 90% of cases, women don’t just react like this for no reason. A woman can never kick out a man just because she feels like it. Is he a chronic cheat? Is he physically/ emotionally abusive? Is he a drug addict? Is he lazy and financially incompetent? A lot of women cannot stand the trauma that come with these things. Peace and sanity is underrated. There’s a pattern with a lot of divorcee men, check them well and you will see where the problem lies.

mployer:


You women has no iota of sympathy in you.

You are wicked down to every fiber of your being, reason I don't loose guard when dealing with women. I always prepare for the worst and stay one step ahead in the game.

Hakimi remains a hero.

Don't mind them,werey ni all of them ooo,me I no send them again am loving my single life ,anything wey them like make them say I no send

Pitty women and die before your time

Mimicle101:
Lol

Women.

Look at there responses. Defence defence Defence.

I will keep on saying it.

I will fear anyone who does not fear Woman.

Talk about heartless and wickedness, men stands no chance because Woman are much better.

A supposedly loving sweet wife changes immediately there is a child in the house. The supposed love they have for there husband dies an immediate death. All the love, respect and affection is automatically transferred to the kids. And the man becomes worthless.


And then if (the man no longer have money or provide like he used to) then their true nature will start showing up.
You see Woman loves money, stability, materials more than there Husband.

God help Us!

You understand that gender

[quote author=IyaTola post=122550192][/quote]

Hmm
Na wa o

FORWARDEVERLY:
I no dey pity any man wey marry for abroad.....
Let him use SNIPER abegg

You and sniper eh! Make arsenal no go make you use am o

MrCuteking:
Same thing happened to my customer. He was in Canada. His Nigerian wife showed him shege so he had to retire back to Nigeria. Now he sells outdated wallpapers. I charge him less than the rest because he's yet to stand.

He didn’t get any skills?

[quote author=IyaTola post=122550192][/quote]

I am NOT one to give advice ordinarily except if I am getting paid to give legal advice. Having said that, when it comes to divorce in the West, a lot of Africans especially Nigerians do NOT totally get the concept and understand the DOs and DON'Ts of the dreaded word, Divorce. In Western countries, family law, which deals with divorce, for the most part, is geared in favor of the woman.

But before one of the parties files for a divorce, something must have happened along the way to divorce, and that does NOT necessarily mean that one of the spouses cheated. It could be either a report of domestic violence, child abuse, sexual assault, stalking, or harassment. And when such allegations are made albeit true or false, the legal system employs all its mechanisms to forestall such breakdown of the family dynamic.

One such mechanism is a temporary restraining or protective order, which is usually issued by ex parte motion. This means barring the spouse against whom such allegations were made from the matrimonial home or away from the child(ren). One of the spouses, usually the husband, is NOT allowed to visit the matrimonial home or see the children for the time being (for a fixed period of time) until a court hearing is held.

However, permanent relief from an abuse order can be issued only after the alleged abuser receives notice of the hearing, and the alleged victim and the abuser both have a chance to tell their sides of the story at the final hearing. Now, this is where Africans and Nigerians in particular run afoul of the law. As long as you do NOT go near your house for whatever reason legitimate or NOT, you are okay. A violation of this simple court order attracts consequences and helps shape how the court views you as a defendant at the initial hearing.

If you have any need to go to your house either to pick up your article of clothing or something that you have to have, you MUST contact either a sheriff or the police to supervise such a visit. You can NOT go near or be seen so many feet away from your house simply because you are the one who is paying for it ...it does NOT matter. If you do NOT want a FREE trip to a detention facility, stay away unless you have police to supervise your visit until you go for your initial hearing.

But Nigerians let their emotions take over and they end up getting themselves into more trouble than they need to be in. Remember, the initial restraining or protective order is only temporary, maybe 10 days at the most, until a court hearing to determine whether the allegations are true or false. I always advise my clients to just stay away if they do NOT want to end up in jail.

The system does NOT care whether you own the house or NOT as long as both of you shared that (matrimonial) home, your soon-to-be ex has the full right to it at least for now. A divorce as painful and devastating as it might be is NOT only for the spouses, it's even worse for the children especially if they are minors, but that's not a reason to make you lose your self-worth and end up destitute. There's life after a divorce!

Enemyofpeace:
that point number 7, can't he visit the woman if konji hold am?

Village people dey wine you? Already the wife is accusing him of marital rape and you dey talk of konji?

Wahala too much for marriage abeg




Just pity we men

Tell him not to move back into fire or sorry Nigeria.
He can easily start up in UK rather than Nigeria. It's hard but it can always get better.

[quote author=IyaTola post=122550192][/quote]

You can't see Indian or Asian women behave like this

It's always Africans and blacks the women will want to pull their men down

Na who do Blackman this

[quote author=IyaTola post=122550192][/quote]
If the wife is a Nigerian and he did his wedding in Nigeria, he should lure the woman back to Nigeria and file for the divorce here or stay put in Naija and forget about the woman. My only worries is the kids and his life

Ask him to call Hakimi's mum

Nawa o
Things Dey happen

olabrinks:
Because he is your friend, you have painted him to be the victim. Are these allegations or did he actually commit all these things listed? What exactly pushed the wife to divorce him and are there any ways they can reconcile, because it’s going to be a very very long battle for him starting afresh.

You don't wanna know what women have done (and are still doing) to men out there.

See Hakimi, how his wife wanted to wipe his hard-earned money. He would have been destroyed after that.

See rape case against CR7, see as Jeff Bezos wife cash out on am big time, look, the legal system is so skewed to favour women that sometimes, proper investigation is not done before the poor goon is hung out to dry.

thesicilian:
If I were in his shoes I'd move back to Nigeria or another state in Europe.

Yea just forget about everything and everybody and restart but however, I won't rule out karma... You sure say the guy no follow oppress some guys for Nigeria destroy there marriage with pounds when the going was good. Lol. I dey fear everybody now ooo

[quote author=IyaTola post=122550192][/quote]


His lack of patience got him into the mess he is facing. It was a wrong move to go back there to see the kids without first seeking joint custody through the justice system. The law does not encourage allegations else every male in the UK will be in jail or have some kinda of criminal records for abuse allegations. In the Western world, once a legal relationship or marriage falls out, every subsequent action should have a legal backing with accumulated evidence. The African mentality does not work there.

End of the story. Stop commenting on the story since it is plagiarism. Why people can't be original for God sake.

sisisioge:


It is well o....I pity the poor guy. The thing is most Nigerian guys want to treat their marriages like they do in Nigeria completely forgetting that expectations are different in the abroad. Women are extremely powerful when it comes to marriage and so men need to handle marriage with wisdom and protect themselves. A woman will not worship you in abroad. She will not allow herself to be subservient to you. She will not condone cheating, bullying and domestic violence from you. She will not allow you turn her into a maid. Once you know this, your life will be peaceful.

Unfortunately, while Nigerian women were taught to be submissive and good women in naija, the men were not trained to be kind and fair to their women. The norm is once there is an unrest in a marriage, naija folks will boldly sweep the man's fault under the carpet while advising the woman to "bear" it. No wonder they become tigresses at the first sign of freedom abroad...naija men better stop marrying abroad to avoid learning the hard way as these women are out to draw blood when scorned. Or they can change their ways.

It is well....nothing beats fairness in any relationship.

Do you know that women cheat too? Do you understand that women become lazy and financially inept as well over the years? Is it wrong for a husband to expect home cooked meals, clean home and clothes while married? Would this be considered turning her into a maid even tho washing machine and dryer is installed and the husband only eats one meal at home per day?

I believe when it comes to fairness in marriages, most of you women don't want fairness/equality, what most of you want is equity and preferential treatment. Look at U.K and U.S laws surrounding divorces, even when the woman is the reason for the divorce she still walks away happier in terms of financial compensation.

It's a tale of two worlds, in 9ja divorce laws are too laxed while abroad it is too strict. Many men are suffering because they chose love over logic. You can love someone yet have the logic to understand that he/she may hurt you. The inability to prepare for the worst possible scenario is what gets most men depressed and dejected after divorce.

bukatyne:


Let's assume he did all of the above, is that enough for his life to be ruined?

Absolutely. It is a criminal offence to lay your hands on someone.

Omoawoke:


So it is okay to destroy the life of the father of your children, make him completely finished and useless because he must have pissed you off.
May your sons, brothers marry this type of callous woman

He ruined his own life if he was physically violent/ abusing drugs etc. Lets take accountability for our actions.

efficiencie:

It's good that he suffering this. He will become wise. Never in his life will be stupid again and submit his life to an olosho in the name of marriage. Who no wise must pay school fees. Who no get sense go register for university of sense. The mouth of a strange woman is a deep pit and the abhorred of the LORD falleth therein. He that has a brain let him have sense.

very true!

Hmmm, I feel very sorry for your friend and I hope he can get himself back and move on with his life.

I saw this happen to someone close to me also, though they are in Nigeria, the wife also made up stories to lie about the husband despite the fact she was caught in the wrong place she didn’t want to explain why she was there.

My advice to your friend is, he can’t avoid giving up on life and his purpose here on earth, God did not bring him this far to get wasted by someone he once called the love of his life.

He needs to take hold of his thoughts and start channeling his energy for a possible outcome. He need to learn to start afresh and find his footing in God.

A lot can happen for better for him, but he first needs to let go of the past and build himself back up again.

Start afresh may be tough, but his journey back to the top will bring a better result compared to what he had experienced before.

I wish he could give him a hug, and tell him “this too shall pass”.

Pray for him, he is a bundle of testimony wanting to happen!

In all, going back to Nigeria shouldn't be part of his plans.

marriage is scam in the UK

mployer:


You women has no iota of sympathy in you.

You are wicked down to every fiber of your being, reason I don't loose guard when dealing with women. I always prepare for the worst and stay one step ahead in the game.

Hakimi remains a hero.

In Peter drury’s voice: and it’s Hakimiiiiiiiiiiii sublime finish, stunner!!! Just when everyone thought it was over. Hakimi pulls out a trick from his wildest of dreams, a blur of brilliance!

pappilo:
I went through the same shit 4 years ago. This was with a woman I came to the UK with on the same plane 20 years prior. We were only so young and went through everything together. We knew each other's secrets. Everything!

Although the live had fizzled out we still kept a united front for the sake of the kids and we needed each other financially as were used to a certain standard of living. When this woman did a BA course and landed a job that doubled her salary, I became an obstacle and she showed me pepper.

3 days after I left the house, this woman brought her boyfriend to the house and he was busy sucking her kitty in the bathroom with my children in the house (found this out in texts messages collected during disclosure)

This woman and her boyfriend show me pepper. Dem drag me reach crown court with jury trial but man buss case! 6 counts and all not guilty. Do you believe this woman came to court to testify against me on behalf of her boyfriend. She was ready for me to go to prison because it was claimed I assaulted her boyfriend and smashed up his car.

I sabi this woman secret o and could have finished her life in this same UK but I could never bring myself to repay her evil with evil. This is where men differ from women. She was ready to finish me totally by somebody up there no gree am

Today I am living my best life and wouldnt have it any other way. Too many women in my life professing their love but I don overwise. Dem sister don show me as e dey go.

If the biyatch is reading cah I know she is on Nairaland; Please clear out the dirty plates from under your bed and stop wearing one Primark thong for 10 years. Pata wey dey change from black to dark brown to red to camoflague

I read about your ordeal in the other thread. Thank God fr your life. I am so happy for you.