Dear all, thanks for your responses. Picked important ones from jenny and few others and i think its working out for me

I decided to stay late at work like him and didn't even border to call, he got home yesterday and didn't see me, he kept on calling throughout to know where i was, just told him i stayed back late to do someone work,. He kept on calling and caring to know where i have gotten to. I got home i didn't even send him, i just gave him his food and he was trying to get my attention by all means. He went out bought  a lots of fruits and other things as he has never done before, and was begging me to eat those things. In the morning he gave me huge amount of money to keep for home expenses, and has been calling throughout asking how i was  doing and that he is trying to be a better husband. As if he read the post.

I think his problem is that he easily gets disconnected from his home at any slightest thing. i shouldn't be the the only one calling to know if his okay at all times. i expected him to be doing that.

As for the project he is doing, i know about it and the project is for our own good, especially for my own good. But that shouldn't make him not to bring out money at all because i know how much he is earning. Its just an act of shying away from his responsibility, probably because he feels am working too, not demanding from him and also not too complaining.  But i have to start doing that now since he is taking advantage of that.

His staying back at work i no is because he is the back bone of the company, but even at that i expected him to have this urge to come back and be with his wife. knowing fully well that he is no longer a bachelor.

I also think am giving him too much attention, need to know if its bad to be giving your husband too much because most of them always take advantage of it. Think i have to start being a baby to him instead of mother. But the problem is that my husband behaves like a baby and if i too start behaving that way don't u people think there will be problem?

Some guys in this forum should stop being selfish and remember it might be them tomorrow.

Thanks so far for your good responses.

Tgirl4real:

I dey o. We are all fine, thank u. I dey try show ma face small small for hia. . .

Hav been busy jare, work, wife, mother  I am learning sha.

Allow me to wear mama Sisi's cap for a sec. .

Tgirl, Whatever you need to be a good wife and mother, I pray the Lord bestows it on you abundantly. You will not lack, instead you will continue to grow in strength, wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Your family will continue to bask in love, joy and happiness, in Jesus name. It shall be well with all of you, this time next year we will be celebrating with you again. . .because your Ibejis lanti lanti would have arrived! Is that a muffled Amen I hear? You better say it well oh!!

Going back to wearing own cap

Yikes! Girl, you are trying oh!!!!!

maclatunji:

You are such a hidden talent as a comedian. I am sure you could make 5times more than what Basketmouth  makes in a month.  Keep the sense of humour (it's a great part of life).

[/i]Me? Nah. . .I'm too meek and gentle to get on stage.

Same old crap every different day.

Having in mind i would be awake waiting for him, even prepared his best soup and pounded yam, even in my present condition with my own money cos he has not be giving me money for food ever since he started saving for one project like that. Thank God am working and i get paid monthly. Don't fully rely on him for money. He only brings out money when it has to do with his relations.

How does the part in bold add to the situation at Hand.

mammy 2:

Dear all, thanks for your responses. Picked important ones from jenny and few others and i think its working out for me

I decided to stay late at work like him and didn't even border to call, he got home yesterday and didn't see me, he kept on calling throughout to know where i was, just told him i stayed back late to do someone work,. He kept on calling and caring to know where i have gotten to. I got home i didn't even send him, i just gave him his food and he was trying to get my attention by all means. He went out bought  a lots of fruits and other things as he has never done before, and was begging me to eat those things. In the morning he gave me huge amount of money to keep for home expenses, and has been calling throughout asking how i was  doing and that he is trying to be a better husband. As if he read the post.

I think his problem is that he easily gets disconnected from his home at any slightest thing. i shouldn't be the the only one calling to know if his okay at all times. i expected him to be doing that.

As for the project he is doing, i know about it and the project is for our own good, especially for my own good. But that shouldn't make him not to bring out money at all because i know how much he is earning. Its just an act of shying away from his responsibility, probably because he feels am working too, not demanding from him and also not too complaining.  But i have to start doing that now since he is taking advantage of that.

His staying back at work i no is because he is the back bone of the company, but even at that i expected him to have this urge to come back and be with his wife. knowing fully well that he is no longer a bachelor.

I also think am giving him too much attention, need to know if its bad to be giving your husband too much because most of them always take advantage of it. Think i have to start being a baby to him instead of mother. But the problem is that my husband behaves like a baby and if i too start behaving that way don't u people think there will be problem?

Some guys in this forum should stop being selfish and remember it might be them tomorrow.

Thanks so far for your good responses.

Will I be a traitor to the cabal if I go. . .Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Guys don't stone me yet naa. . .It's kinda sweet, innit?  

See what men don't know is that it takes very little to please a woman, just show her you care. Sometimes sef, just seeing an effort from you (men) is enough to make them (women) putty in your hands (Aya! Someone put a muzzle on my runny mouth, see as I'm just spilling cabal secrets, I'm definitely gonna be thrown to the gallows ) For a woman to be completely immune to your romantic overtures, it means she's been so emotionally battered by you, there's no going back.

@ Mammy2
Good for you!! It's going to be slow going. . .changes in adults usually are, so don't get frustrated if they don't come as quickly as you want them, just keep the doors of communications open. You don't have to worry about you having to behave like a baby, I think making your husband walk in your shoes has given him a certain awareness that he once lacked. Again I'm not saying it's gonna be an overnight change but something has change. . .together you can build on it.

By the way, you've been given the power. . .use it wisely grasshopper. You don't wanna wear it out, you get warramean?

Mammy good for you, Thank God things are falling into the right places,especially without having to utter a word to your hubby and hope it will consistently remain that way. What works for A might not work for B, you know your hubby, and it is only you that will know how to make things right between you two. Remember what the Bible says, 'a wise woman builds her house", and 'it is a foolish one that will use her hands to tear it down.' (don't know if you a christian though).

Mammy, I was one among those who suggested you pay him back in the same coin. Glad itz working. Hope you will come back to say how you are enjoying your married life. All the best !

Btw, are you sure your hubby is not on NL ?

@op-glad things are improving. i was going to comment, but no need now.
@ifyalways-i was thinking the very same thing. i haven't been on here for months and i come back to the same old thing. it's tiring.

I am glad to read your last response. Happy things are working out well for you.

divorce him and marry anoda husband dat loves u

An 0P that gives feedback- very nice.

@ OP

Glad things are working out,
Lemme just add that saying your hubby acts like a baby is not working, disabuse your mind of that.
Know that immediately you start to act like a baby , he will begin to man up and thats what you want,
or ? and please don't tell him he behaves like a baby o,

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-716263.32.html#msg8761174

debrief08:

[size=16pt]My dear MAMMY2, let the man be, we have advised you stop chasing after his one flaw before you turn into a mountain. [/size] Women are married to wife beaters, serial cheats if my husband wants to scatter d house and leave it smelling I will allow him, stop nagging, your nagging and chasing this issue could push him to a bigger misdeed. If this is the only problem then smile and bear it stop complaining. [size=16pt]The more you nag him the more you push him to stay outside to aviod coming home[/size] cos he doesn't ant to be nagged and told to get his clothes tidy. As long as my husband is staying at home ansd touching only me even if he poos on the floor I will clean it with a big smile on my face, forget this, tolerate it, u no get problem abeg

And just barely 2 months after you predicted this Wow, you must be psychic You have to be, i refuse to believe anything else, oya tell me nau nau when i am going to make my first billion dollars and i want to know the exact time and day

Smilenw:

I cut the phone out of annoyance and was expecting him to call back which he didn't till after 20hrs

Something as simple as this annoyed OP and she hung up on him; yet she chose to call herself meek and gentle?

Lol, na only that one you see, did you see the torrent she unleashed on Johndoe and Eddyman








@mammy2

Hope you can see Debrief08's correct prediction up there. You did not have a problem with your beloved hubby until your nagging drove him away. According to you, although he flings his clothes everywhere and stays online surfing but he eventually does whatever you want him to do, he is always telling you and thanking God that he is lucky to have you as a wife, he is always praising you, he is always apologising for one thing or the other, you also mentioned that he is a good husband, etc, so in this instance, AS LONG AS YOU CAN ASCERTAIN THAT HE IS NOT CHEATING ON YOU, you are to blame for this because you brought it on yourself.


You have not even started showing him pepper yet, but see the way he quickly started panicking, and getting worried and fussing over you, WHICH MEANS THAT, he was staying away from home as a form of attention seeking, albeit it was a childish move, so you need to sheath your swords, learn the art of contrition and grab this opportunity an work on your man, telling him all your fear and concerns and stop comparing him to every Tom, manliness an Harry. Stop worrying your pretty head, your husband loves and adores you and is craving your attention.     


And lastly, since you are preggers, go and start squaffing Folic acid or get some blood tests to check your iron level for anaemia incase that is the reason for that ya tiredness

Lol Busybody you are not serious. @ Poster, when I first wrote I thought u didn't know what project he was doing, since you are aware of the project both of you need to sit and decide how to share some home expenses, good you have settled this one but this is an issue dat needs to be sorted out. Secondly, your husband doesn't have to be with you all d time or when he is not with you be chatting on phone too, even though I think he needs to be with you more but don't demand his time and attention all d time, yes you are a couple but you are not joined at the hips, you futher explained dat he is d backbone of his compnay and I don't think he comes home at 1am all d time, just tell him to let you know d days he is coming home late, get a hobby or something you can do on ur own so you wouldn't always be needing him or wanting to talk to him, I get that u re pregnant and you need attention, care and love but pls don't over do it. You have over 60yrs to spend with this man and if you play ur cards well you will enjoy it but if you make ur man feel like a prisoner u will spend most of it alone, dats d truth sister. Even my sister Jenny dat is hallering I can assure u she is not doing her husband quarter guard

I don't need to watch or ''quarter guard'' my husband because he knows what to do ,how and when to do things. Infact I am the one that had to drop some on call work to spend quality time with him, he asked for it. A lot of the times he travels interstate and outside,he goes alone, I do not go with him because I love my space (sometimes) and I have a life, all I ask from a man is to respect me and be there at very important times. If you are going to work late, please do your '' pregnant'' wife a favour and inform her before she stresses herself out.


@ mammy
May God continue to strengthen you guys.

A lot of us women received the best pampering during our preggy days. . The time our hubby used to open car door for us . Good feet massage without asking for it. Scrubbing our legs in the shower because we cannot bend down. Tying our shoe laces and buckling our sandals, helping us moisturize our body, the constant night messaging ''Honey, please put a pillow behind my back, naaaaa, take it off and place it on my side''. The time you can even poo and tell him to flush it. . The days you can slap him and he will just look at you and smile jk. Those days they had to cook everyday for us. Making them sit on a dinning chair Unclad whilst you hammer away ,sitting untop of their . . . . ., best intimate position ever )8 .After you drop pikin, na who go open car door for you? .

I understand where the OP is coming from. I am sure she was giggling inside when he gave her the fruits. Now that's what I am talking about.

God bless you Jenny, I understand what you mean, but read d posters comment well, does things am talking about you can deduce from her comments. My husband is the kind of man that likes staying at home, he doesn't drink or smoke so no hanging out with the boys, however we like watching different things, I like soccer he doesn't, I like romance and reality shows he doesn't he like some science fiction movies dat I can't sit an hour through, as much as I like being close to him and distract him from his movies I 80% of d time let him have his space. You and Oga Kadry have been married for a while and have found ur synergy, this are new couples, dey need to find a balance, I am really not comfy with the way she picks on issues, when she first wrote she mentioned d project as if she wasn't aware of it and later said its a good and beneficial project, its a new marriage, it can't be 100% what she wants and she needs to get her own things going instead of looking at her husbands non cleaning, baby behavior etc. She aounds to me like someone who will always look and pick d faults, Jenny ssing how Oga Kadry likes to hang with you am sure you don't make it a purpose to find and hammer on his faults, you make room for some of his issues and if its bad you let him know and grow together abi, dats all am telling d poster to do

i av learnt alot from these healthy arguments and i am well informed more as a man. i appreciate all those that have responded they have added more to someones life.

brainpulse:

i av learnt alot from these healthy arguments and i am well informed more as a man. i appreciate all those that have responded they have added more to someones life.

Huh? Dude how old are you?

jennykadry:

A lot of we women received the best pampering during our preggy days. . The time our hubby used to open car door for us . Good feet massage without asking for it. Scrubbing our legs in the shower because we cannot bend down. Tying our shoe laces and buckling our sandals, helping us moisturize our body, the constant night messaging ''Honey, please put a pillow behind my back, naaaaa, take it off and place it on my side''. The time you can even poo and tell him to flush it. . The days you can slap him and he will just look at you and smile jk. Those days they had to cook everyday for us. Making them sit on a dinning chair Unclad whilst you hammer away ,sitting untop of their . . . . ., best intimate position ever )8 .After you drop pikin, na who go open car door for you? .

I understand where the OP is coming from. I am sure she was giggling inside when he gave her the fruits. Now that's what I am talking about.

Lol, very funny indeed. Jenny you are two hands full, i know!!! by the time your hubby is not doing all those things, he know say, yahwah go gas now!!!!

^^ The guy seee shege. . ''honey place the below on the bed for me to lie on, naaa I'm not comfy, place it by my side, no take it off, try elevating my legs with it''. ''Sweerie, I cannot buckle my sandals, can you help me please?'' , ''you know what I feel like eating? Well made peppersoup''. '' Baby there is this Gucci dress I saw on the net, it's a maternity dress and looks like something, I'd love to wear for comfort reasons, you know I am in the health field, so such dresses will help position the baby very well ''.

The day that he heard the sound of my wonderful post pregnancy fart, the next question he asked was ''is the baby coming, is it time''. Relax yourself my man, it's just me farting, Abi preggers woman no dey fart again? )8

Arrg, life was so much fun then, no questioning as to why you want the things you asked for. Maybe I should get preggers again sef and include RR sports as one of the Important things that will help me push well during labor  all thanks of it's comfy seats.
.

^^^^^^^^^^ very funny, the RR sport one is a good idea. let me know how it goes, so that i can use that line next time,

mammy 2:

Dear all, thanks for your responses. Picked important ones from jenny and few others and i think its working out for me

I decided to stay late at work like him and didn't even border to call, he got home yesterday and didn't see me, he kept on calling throughout to know where i was, just told him i stayed back late to do someone work,. He kept on calling and caring to know where i have gotten to. I got home i didn't even send him, i just gave him his food and he was trying to get my attention by all means. He went out bought  a lots of fruits and other things as he has never done before, and was begging me to eat those things. In the morning he gave me huge amount of money to keep for home expenses, and has been calling throughout asking how i was  doing and that he is trying to be a better husband. As if he read the post.

I think his problem is that he easily gets disconnected from his home at any slightest thing. i shouldn't be the the only one calling to know if his okay at all times. i expected him to be doing that.

As for the project he is doing, i know about it and the project is for our own good, especially for my own good. But that shouldn't make him not to bring out money at all because i know how much he is earning. Its just an act of shying away from his responsibility, probably because he feels am working too, not demanding from him and also not too complaining.  But i have to start doing that now since he is taking advantage of that.

His staying back at work i no is because he is the back bone of the company, but even at that i expected him to have this urge to come back and be with his wife. knowing fully well that he is no longer a bachelor.

I also think am giving him too much attention, need to know if its bad to be giving your husband too much because most of them always take advantage of it. Think i have to start being a baby to him instead of mother. But the problem is that my husband behaves like a baby and if i too start behaving that way don't u people think there will be problem?

Some guys in this forum should stop being selfish and remember it might be them tomorrow.

Thanks so far for your good responses

And they lived happily ever after.

Different Comment from Different People.
This is my little advice, Making a Successful Marriage takes Patience, Tolerance and Respect. I am a married woman an work as an electromechanical engr in a Manufacturing Company. I work with different Kinds of Men, in which I have learnt so much from concerning marital issues. My colleagues work late most times due to breakdowns on our machine which would not allow them to go home on time and sometimes due to safety reasons they sleep in the plant. Machines can never work with 100percent efficiency and in a week different issue might arise, that is the major reason, and u cannot leave wen there are issues because the company would not tolerate loss. When we have issues which may take us many hours to resolve there won't be chance to start calling because we are seriously thinking about the Solution. I wonder at times how do we enjoy our marriage when we work 7 days a week with little time to spend with our family.
A man demands some respect because he is the head of the house. My husband does not tolerate a person banging or cutting the phone on him, it doesn't show a sign of respect
My dear please its not easy but it take Sacrifice, people will tell u the good side about their Marriage but they will never tell u what is happening inside. Some women go as far as feeding there family but they will never tell u because they want to boast of there husband as a Big man outside. Please I beg u, take it easy and show some love. It makes the Marriage work because the Success of any Marriage lies on the Woman. We are all not Perfect but we are working towards Perfection. It is well

I pray that things continue to work out well in your marriage Amen.
But please don't go overboard,You knw what i mean,
All the best

Na wa oh, mayb I shld start a counselling biz, a lot of young couples re not getting it. I'm equally newly weded, not up to 2 years n I know that the key to successful marriage is God, ,' WISDOM. Little issues are taken too far nowadays. But thank God u got a solution from a public forum,

Sisi_Kill:

Allow me to wear mama Sisi's cap for a sec. .

Tgirl, Whatever you need to be a good wife and mother, I pray the Lord bestows it on you abundantly. You will not lack, instead you will continue to grow in strength, wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Your family will continue to bask in love, joy and happiness, in Jesus name. It shall be well with all of you, this time next year we will be celebrating with you again. . .because your Ibejis lanti lanti would have arrived! Is that a muffled Amen I hear? You better say it well oh!!

Going back to wearing own cap

Yikes! Girl, you are trying oh!!!!!

[/i]Me? Nah. . .I'm too meek and gentle to get on stage.

All these for me ?

Aint I blessed? You are so sweet.

It shall be well with all of you, this time next year we will be celebrating with you again. . .because your Ibejis lanti lanti would have arrived!Is that a muffled Amen I hear? You better say it well oh!!

Amen my sister _{but no be next year o} .

Thanks a bunch. I wish you all you wish me in 10 folds