Divoc19:
There is someone out there that was created for you.

You may not understand.
But I know what am saying

Lastpharoah33:


Your analysis is superb, I'm impressed.

Paulnoma:


What if the person dies or marries someone else....you remain single till u die

Curiouscity:
Please, I need everyone in the family section to give their view on this. There seems to be a trend in modern day marriages, where everything is about "what makes me happy ". I have a few questions
1. What is loyalty in a committed relationship like marriage?
2. Is loyalty expected in modern day marriage?
3. Can there be love without loyalty?

There is a couple going through a rough patch in their marriage. The major issue is that one of them regards outsiders' opinion more the partner's. They can discuss and sometimes agree to do something a certain way, but one person will do it the opposite way. When investigated, it will be discovered that the brothers/parent of the defaulting partner countered the couple's decisions. Yet the other partner wasn't informed.

More explicitly, the guy may tell his wife, let's do so and so. The wife will oppose it. But if another person, sometimes the husband's friend, make same suggestion, the wife will jump on that same idea, and pester the guy to do it. The couple can have a discussion that is supposed to be private, sometimes just mere couples gossip, but one way or the other, that discussion will get to the wife's family. Yet the wife keep "singing" how she loves her husband.

The examples above can be reverse, where the guy is the disloyal spouse.

4. How do you handle disloyalty between couples?

simplypj:
■You see this right here is the reason modern marriage don't work......... Marriage is supposed to be like a train.... A train has many part working harmoniously to achieve forward movement, but when that train decides to have another engine at the tail of the train......that is.... The last coach, then no movement is achieved. The sole purpose is defeated

Humble432:
■ I am not sure you were patient enough to read the little piece the OP wrote there because if you did, you wouldn't have asked these questions and making the suggestions. OP's opinion is clear and straight to the point.

Divoc19:
There is someone out there that was created for you.

You may not understand.
But I know what am saying

IyaTola:
To a large extent with women loyalty is made not found.

Yes, women are hypergamous. No doubt about that.

Your girlfriend isn't looking for the PERFECT man. Trust me, she isn't. Somewhere out there on Planet Earth, there's a man better than you in every single way:

He's smarter than you
He's better looking than you
He's more charming than you
He's better with women than you
He has a better career than you
He's wealthier than you
He's cooler than you
... and all the rest. But this guy's virtually no threat to you if you run your relationship right.

Because women can be loyal under certain circumstances.

What selection factors to look for are:

Her moral foundations: according to research, whether she’s on the liberal or the conservative side of things, and how far on either side she is, comes down to about 53% genes, 47% experiences. So while this is somewhat changeable, to a certain extent it is inborn. Her values can be twisted, but not wholly uprooted and replaced.

Her upbringing: if she was brought up in a household that valued loyalty highly, or, conversely, a household where everyone was disloyal, this will have impact her later in life. Most especially, if her upbringing led to any personality disorders (particularly of the Cluster B variety), you can expect her base level loyalty to be much lower.

Her past history: aside from genes and upbringing, her past matters: what she does, what paths she embarks on, and what experiences she partakes in as she goes through her life have a huge impact on her tendency and capacity to stay loyal in the future. Things like romantic history, how many partners she’s had, and whether she’s had good experiences trying out new people and new things or she’s had bad experiences all influence this.

Her current opportunities: a woman with more opportunities (financial, romantic, sexual) is going to be less loyal by default. The easier it is for her to slip away and the greater the rewards are for her doing so, the less likely she is to care much about loyalty.

Misc: Suitable Male to Female ratio, what her girlfriends do, dominant cultural ideology of the times, she stays away from getting too close to other men, her sub cultures etc.

Yet there is much more to female loyalty than a woman’s foundational values coming in. The most crucial aspect of all is this: for a woman to be loyal, her loyalty must be activated by a man. And simply being ‘her man’ is not engagement enough. For a woman, it’s not about what title you hold, be that friend, lover, boyfriend, consort, husband, paramour, etc. It is about the connection.

Let’s look at a few scenarios:

A woman enters a relationship with a man. He starts out as a ‘placeholder boyfriend’ for her; he’s just there so she doesn’t have to be single. But she gets complacent over time and doesn’t meet anyone better, so stays on with him.

Another woman enters a relationship with another man. She agrees to date him after he pursues her for a while and she at last relents and goes out with him. In the relationship, she usually gets her way, with him bending to please her and do what she asks him to do.

A third woman enters a relationship with a third man. The relationship starts off as essentially a casual sexual relationship. Yet the sex is great and the man is strong. She quickly invests heavily in the man and the relationship, even as he continuously avoids commitment points. Not far into the relationship, he makes clear that he expects loyalty out of her, or he will replace her.

A fourth man starts dating a girl, and runs straight up love-vendor game. He loads her up with orgasms and romanticness, then makes her buy things for him and accept things in the relationship she thought she’d never accept. As she goes along, she finds herself immersed in a sea of charged romantic emotion when she complies, and quickly deserted and watching all her investment disappear if she does not.

From a distance though, you can see the way things actually are: different men, who run their relationships in different ways, with a different power balance in the relationship, achieve very different results.

The items that precipitate disloyalty in general and cheating in particular are the same for both:

You start to act too weak, needy, jealous, unmanly, etc.
You become neglectful or overly untrustworthy/disloyal yourself
Your girl stops feeling like this relationship is going anywhere
It’s a bell-curve—all human potential and so the loyalty kind of does relys on the fact that at the bulk end most men are only marginally better than others at best but on the tail ends are vast differences in all scales of human abilities: IQ, Wealth, Strength etc. Such a man if he shows interest in your woman… But due to the rule of to each his own that man probably won’t be interested in your girl so much over ones that are unattached.

Suspect33:
lol, stop watching Disney

Konjiboii:
A woman loyalty depends on what she gains from you, Which is all fine and well. The problem is, when a bigger offer presents itself.
She will be off like Mary Poppins. Gone with the wind.

Kobojunkie:


So, what happens when this person created for you turns out to be just another one of the billions of arseholes walking on the earth? Do you remain attached to the eejit because you need to be completed by such a one then?

kkins25:
■ Thats where the dismissal of God, destiny, heaven, hell, etc, comes in.. 😂

Kobojunkie:
1. I am not allowed to suggest a different opinion or what?

Humble432:
■ Your questions and suggestions shows that you don't understand the OP simple.

Kobojunkie:
1. I don't understand the OP or I don't subscribe instead to your particular understanding of the OP?

Humble432:
■ Kindly read the OP's write up again, this time slowly to have a better understanding about it.
Note: Don't judge from the title but the body of the message. Then try to read your first comment and see if your comment really relate to what OP was saying. If you don't see anything bad then no problem. Sorry for quoting you at the first place. Continue to have a great evening, peace.