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My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help - Family (5) - Nairaland

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My Uncle Doesn't Want Me In His House / My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please / My Husband Doesn't Want Me To Be Close To His Brothers. Is He Normal? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by SLOVFO(m): 3:08pm On May 10, 2023
Jashub:
You're dull. It seems you don't understand that a man like her husband has options , and if he's the type earning well over 6 figures, he will replace her faster than you'll possibly imagine . And who in today's Nigeria will want to bear the burden of a single mother of 3 ? Better be wise

Oga calm down. You really need to work on your mentality...that a man is rich is no license to be "replacing" whatever at the slightest disagreement. Women go a through a lot to keep families. Whatever sacrifice you can afford or do to make it easier for them, make it.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by randymirrors(f): 3:09pm On May 10, 2023
Jashub:
Your emotional stupidity won't change the facts that she will be replaced once she starts misbehaving under her husband's authority.

Woe betides any woman who marries an egoistic animal like you!! Just make sure you're not hiding this horrendous trait that you have from your woman. Cos no woman in her right senses will marry someone with animalistic tendencies.

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by WORLDPEACE(m): 3:10pm On May 10, 2023
toluleke:
If he doesn't want a maid then he must be ready to help then. Simple

That would mean taking another job that allows him not travel.

If she is okay with how much he'd be earning, they can do that.
Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by Geovanni412(m): 3:10pm On May 10, 2023
Jashub:
Your emotional stupidity won't change the facts that she will be replaced once she starts misbehaving under her husband's authority.

Can she handle the complexities of having a househelp?

Her husband might have good reasons for refusing to have one

Things like sexual abuse and exposure to porn at a young age

She should resolve that first before demanding for a househelp

As for the issue of replacement, everybody is replaceable.

If you are the best wife that cooks, cleans and does everything and you die - Baba will find a new girlfriend within max of 3 years.

Wisest man married 700 wives. No dey overthink your importance as a wife.
Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by SIRTee15: 3:11pm On May 10, 2023
Xerona:
I'll consider it thanks

U welcome. Pls tell your hubby to follow u to the doctors and let him hear how the headache u suffering from is caused by stress and how getting help with relieve the chronic headache.
Nigerian men most times reason with their doctors.
Even us wey dey abroad sometimes do with cleaners because it's not easy esp if both couples are working.
Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by Aguiyimba(m): 3:11pm On May 10, 2023
IyaebeTheGreat:
The man is selfish and toxic, even on doctors advise he's still adamant. I didn't remember insulting him . I only used the right words for my statement.

This man loves his family and he knows his weakness.
Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by egopersonified(f): 3:11pm On May 10, 2023
frozen70:


Request for mum to come over, only him have his reasons why he doesn't want a house help

This is the 21st century. You should be able to tell your wife your fears and concerns about not wanting house helps. If, for example, it's based on lack of trust, she can look for someone to clean and she takes care of the kids herself. There are always other options to every situation. If she dies tomorrow, won't someone else look after the kids?

1 Like

Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by Abujaexpress: 3:12pm On May 10, 2023
IyaebeTheGreat:
He's a selfish husband. Two househelp no go do me sef because I won't have strength for any other thing aside breastfeeding my baby. He's a selfish and wicked husband
Lazy woman

1 Like

Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by Nnemuka(f): 3:12pm On May 10, 2023
Some people do not have kids yet have helps at home, while others with children are disallowed from having one, tru tru life no balance.

You are married to a child, no offence

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by WorldRichest: 3:12pm On May 10, 2023
IyaebeTheGreat:
He's a selfish husband. Two househelp no go do me sef because I won't have strength for any other thing aside breastfeeding my baby. He's a selfish and wicked husband

Yes, he is very selfish. He doesn't want another lady to come and share his dicck with his wife. Shey your head no correct ni? E go correct now
Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by DOM7: 3:14pm On May 10, 2023
You should do Thanksgiving for your husband, just a little patient ma, what househelp issue cause in this life is better to manage your headache.
Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by Zooposki(f): 3:14pm On May 10, 2023
Xerona:
Hello Nairalanders, there is an issue at hand.
I have two kids and recently gave birth to the third few months ago. It's been really difficult for me since I practically do most of the house chores... my husband is hardly around because of work.

I came down with this strange disturbing headache that doesnt go away. So I went to see a doctor and she said the headache was as a result of postpartum stress and lack of sleep.

The truth is I'm awake most of the time because of the baby or when I'm attending to other household matter. I haven't had a good sleep in a long while. So when the doctor suggested I get a house help so I can find time and sleep when shes holding the baby. I knew she she was on point. But the problem is my husband, he wouldn't hear of it, he doesn't want us to get any househelp...

I even pleaded with him and made him see reasons why I needed help, but he refused... I'm beginning to think I ended up with the wrong person because I dont understand why anyone would deliberately want to subject their wife to this kind of torture.

My kids are age 5, 2 and 3 months... I go to the market, cook, clean, i even do school run too...He's a contractor and will be travelling back to work next week.. yet he doesn't want me to get help...

I've been preaching the message since time immemorial that Nigerian men marry house helps disguised as wives. That is why they came up with the term wife material.

You must be able to act as a help (clean the house, do the laundry, etc), cook, child birther, nanny ( be able to take care of the children birthed for him) and lastly prostitute(perform and give him sex as when due).

That's why he does not see any more use for an additional help cos to him you are one. If you are no longer capable of performing such functions or you get ill or old from the stress, he will simply replace you.

BE WISE. DONT KILL YOURSELF. FROM THE WAY YOU DESCRIBED HIM HE IS A VERY SELFISH MAN AND DOES NOT LOVE YOU ( NOT EVEN ONE IOTA). THE FUUCCKKK.

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by nabdeck(m): 3:14pm On May 10, 2023
Madam your husband may be right but you are not seeing things from his angle:
His reasons may be:
1. He may start having canal knowledge of the said house help
2. Some house help are witches and wizards
3. You may also start maltreating the girl thereby putting your husband into jeopardy
4. In the future she may be your co wife
Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by lekan3531(m): 3:15pm On May 10, 2023
Mumu woman... Dey Dia dey talk day ur husband no want u people to av house help.

That sharp man dnt want ur home to be destroyed. U better dey manage things by urself
Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by Thomasankara(m): 3:15pm On May 10, 2023
[/color] ;Duay learn your lessons the hard way[color=#770077]
Xerona:
Hello Nairalanders, there is an issue at hand.
I have two kids and recently gave birth to the third few months ago. It's been really difficult for me since I practically do most of the house chores... my husband is hardly around because of work.

I came down with this strange disturbing headache that doesnt go away. So I went to see a doctor and she said the headache was as a result of postpartum stress and lack of sleep.

The truth is I'm awake most of the time because of the baby or when I'm attending to other household matter. I haven't had a good sleep in a long while. So when the doctor suggested I get a house help so I can find time and sleep when shes holding the baby. I knew she she was on point. But the problem is my husband, he wouldn't hear of it, he doesn't want us to get any househelp...

I even pleaded with him and made him see reasons why I needed help, but he refused... I'm beginning to think I ended up with the wrong person because I dont understand why anyone would deliberately want to subject their wife to this kind of torture.

My kids are age 5, 2 and 3 months... I go to the market, cook, clean, i even do school run too...He's a contractor and will be travelling back to work next week.. yet he doesn't want me to get help...
Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by randymirrors(f): 3:15pm On May 10, 2023
Jashub:
Your emotional stupidity won't change the facts that she will be replaced once she starts misbehaving under her husband's authority.

I see that you've been carefully selecting weak women for relationship/dating all your life. That's why you're still flapping wings anyhow, yapping nonsense about how you treat your woman. Surely, you've never been with a woman who will deflate your overbloated ego in one fell swoop. I like dealing with men like you. You will eat your own shit if we cross paths. Nonsense!

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by infohenry(m): 3:17pm On May 10, 2023
Sanchez01:

Some people are naturally stubborn and only a figure they deeply respect can upturn decisions they make. I have seen this way too up close and can confidently tell unmarried folks to flee from anyone of interest who doesn't have people they respect and listen to.
At what price, the ego will be bruised and he will start to keep his resentments to himself until it got to a breaking point, boom marriage is gone.
Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by Thomasankara(m): 3:18pm On May 10, 2023
[/color]u sure say na woman sef?
[color=#770077]
Tallesty1:
It's important to remember that even though this man may be wicked and selfish in your opinion, he is still someone's husband and likely the love of her life. He is someone who is respected by his wife and they have committed to spending their lives together.

Regardless of what may be going on in their marriage, insulting him will undoubtedly affect his wife's feelings, so it's important to be mindful of that. Respect him for her please.

This is not just about a disagreement between a boyfriend and girlfriend or two politicians, but rather a married couple who have made a commitment to each other.
Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by 4ward4: 3:18pm On May 10, 2023
IyaebeTheGreat:
He's a selfish husband. Two househelp no go do me sef because I won't have strength for any other thing aside breastfeeding my baby. He's a selfish and wicked husband

Get married first. You have no right of foci point advising a married individual m
Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by Zooposki(f): 3:18pm On May 10, 2023
lekan3531:
Mumu woman... Dey Dia dey talk day ur husband no want u people to av house help.

That sharp man dnt want ur home to be destroyed. U better dey manage things by urself

He just does not want to bring out any extra money to pay the help.

The wife has headaches due to stress and you are here yapping about not wanting the home to be destroyed. I bet that hypertension giving her those headaches will soon kpoof her. Let's see if the home will not scatter once she has kpoofed.

She can hire an elderly lady or an older married lady to help out.

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Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by olabrinks(f): 3:19pm On May 10, 2023
This is why I don’t believe women should have more than 2 kids. It’s nice for photoshoots
and maybe some people will see you as responsible. But the hard work, depression and sacrifice that comes with raising children is too much. Well, if you can’t bring someone in to help you, you will most definitely grow old before your time. A happy mother = happy children. Protect your well being and mental health. Sleep deprivation causes a lot of health issues eg high blood presure which is a silent killer, take note. If you die before your time, your husband will re marry and an outsider will be taking care of your kids. Nobody can look after your health more than you! Think about it!

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by Jozilinn: 3:20pm On May 10, 2023
Xerona:
Hello Nairalanders, there is an issue at hand.
I have two kids and recently gave birth to the third few months ago. It's been really difficult for me since I practically do most of the house chores... my husband is hardly around because of work.

I came down with this strange disturbing headache that doesnt go away. So I went to see a doctor and she said the headache was as a result of postpartum stress and lack of sleep.

The truth is I'm awake most of the time because of the baby or when I'm attending to other household matter. I haven't had a good sleep in a long while. So when the doctor suggested I get a house help so I can find time and sleep when shes holding the baby. I knew she she was on point. But the problem is my husband, he wouldn't hear of it, he doesn't want us to get any househelp...

I even pleaded with him and made him see reasons why I needed help, but he refused... I'm beginning to think I ended up with the wrong person because I dont understand why anyone would deliberately want to subject their wife to this kind of torture.

My kids are age 5, 2 and 3 months... I go to the market, cook, clean, i even do school run too...He's a contractor and will be travelling back to work next week.. yet he doesn't want me to get help...
Some men would just be behaving one kind without considering things please how can this woman cope like seriously at it's school period, postpartum depression is real it can lead to madness in some self lack of attention and sleep contribute a lot to it... because he's the one at home right get a young male house help with good attributes I want to tell you now it's not easy at all taking care another person's child oh...so just get ready for things, pray over it I believe God will give you insight.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by SayItt: 3:22pm On May 10, 2023
You can get part-time house help. He/she does not need to sleep over and does not need to come every time. Explain to your husband.
Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by millstone(m): 3:23pm On May 10, 2023
Moments like this are why I thank God for providing my sisters with supportive husbands o cause eh omo some men I nor dey understand. If it's first child i for understand but she has other kids and she's expected to still run the home and do house chores o. either he get grudge against you or he don't regard you. If for anything pray you marry a partner that has empathy
Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by Algold: 3:23pm On May 10, 2023
IyaebeTheGreat:
He's a selfish husband. Two househelp no go do me sef because I won't have strength for any other thing aside breastfeeding my baby. He's a selfish and wicked husband

Extremely lady brat
Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by komzy589(m): 3:23pm On May 10, 2023
IyaebeTheGreat:
He's a selfish husband. Two househelp no go do me sef because I won't have strength for any other thing aside breastfeeding my baby. He's a selfish and wicked husband
That’s if anybody go wife your kind first. 🙂
Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by randymirrors(f): 3:24pm On May 10, 2023
Xerona:
Hello Nairalanders, there is an issue at hand.
I have two kids and recently gave birth to the third few months ago. It's been really difficult for me since I practically do most of the house chores... my husband is hardly around because of work.

.

Those people telling you to persuade your husband know nothing. The reason your husband is adamantly refusing you is that, he knows he would sleep with her. Take it or leave it. And that's why he's not giving you any reason.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by Nobody: 3:24pm On May 10, 2023
komzy589:

That’s if anybody go wife your kind first. 🙂
Let me be worried about that but definitely not your type
Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by udeh3(m): 3:25pm On May 10, 2023
You didn't border to State the reason why your husband is against house help(s).

I've seen and read countless times the ordeal of some house helps. It gives room for external interference. This is the obvious truth. If your husband is trying financially, it a thing to watch. Many house helps have delivered their bosses husbands, wives or kids for kidnapping. Some have relations whom could also be interested in the man, before you know, you start hearing stories... We need to be security conscious

If your mom and his mom is still alive. It's a good one in the sense that, your mom can come, stay for some months, his mom do the same thing while your kids grow.

Your husband isn't wicked like you're making it look like. If you're kidnapped today, those wanting you to get an house help here won't be there to bear the emotional pains and cost.

After closing from school, mom and dad are at work, the lady I regularly stay with till my mom or dad comes back from work abuse me sexually. Over 25yrs ago, I still feel the trauma. I'm healing from it just of recent. I got scared of ladies. These I've kept to myself for years until I got to the stage to marry, I had to open up to my then fiancee who's my wife now. Sexual abuse by any type of house help is real.

Furthermore, learn how to manage stress and pains. Marriage is never a rosy ground. These are issues that will always come up in marriages, but they're solvable. Look for how you can manage the stress. Turn your attention to other things like watching of movies, playing of games, etc. My mother had 4 of us without a house help, I believe your mom did it too. There must be a way they managed it. Learn this act from them

I believe your husband is saying 'no' for the good of the family.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by Teema4720(f): 3:25pm On May 10, 2023
My sister i can feel what you are feeling, i was there so i know.
My husband also never wanted me to get a house help, my kids are 6 and 2+ and i am currently heavily pregnant. I am doing a 8-5 job and my kids stay in school till 6pm when i return from work before i go pick them.
When we get home, i prepare dinner, do home work, unpack their bags, etc.
Every morning i wake by 5am, cook and start washing clothes so it would not have to pile up , then by 6am i wake the kids and prepare them for school which he drop them in school before i start getting ready for my work place. Once they leave the house by 7am, that is when i will hurridly clean the house and continue with clothes if i am not done. Those day i alway report late to work but because i am prenant, i was alway pardon. Remember i stil do market stuffs, etc, etc. My Husband comes back by 8:30pm, and by then the kids are already asleep, food is set house is arranged so he just feels "you are doing it nah, so no need for house help" I have tried to make him understand that between when we return from sch and when he comes home i go tru alot....
I was dying daily from stress, i had to stand my ground and told my husband that if i die now, he will only mourn me atmost 1yr and move on with his life, i can't kill myself. I have had to turn down many helps i saw, so if you are getting someone, you need to do it prayerfully and screen alot. If you are not working, i make it easier for you but i am working so my case was really something else.DON'T JUST BRING ANYBODY INTO UR HOME, i took a lot of time to search for months, i was searching... So pls be careful and watch before you decide if you must bring in a helper.
To cut the long story short, i got someone , but my husband said i will be the one to pay the girl, i accepted because i need help and may put to bed soonest.
My dear you own ur body, advice yourself, stress has killed a lot of people, pls make sure you don't die carelessly. Love you sis
Xerona:
Hello Nairalanders, there is an issue at hand.
I have two kids and recently gave birth to the third few months ago. It's been really difficult for me since I practically do most of the house chores... my husband is hardly around because of work.

I came down with this strange disturbing headache that doesnt go away. So I went to see a doctor and she said the headache was as a result of postpartum stress and lack of sleep.

The truth is I'm awake most of the time because of the baby or when I'm attending to other household matter. I haven't had a good sleep in a long while. So when the doctor suggested I get a house help so I can find time and sleep when shes holding the baby. I knew she she was on point. But the problem is my husband, he wouldn't hear of it, he doesn't want us to get any househelp...

I even pleaded with him and made him see reasons why I needed help, but he refused... I'm beginning to think I ended up with the wrong person because I dont understand why anyone would deliberately want to subject their wife to this kind of torture.

My kids are age 5, 2 and 3 months... I go to the market, cook, clean, i even do school run too...He's a contractor and will be travelling back to work next week.. yet he doesn't want me to get help...

1 Like

Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by afanis(m): 3:26pm On May 10, 2023
What's his reason in the first place, most atimes I hear couple say stuffs like we will train our children ourselves and then the work load happens.. get back to the root and find your answers.
Re: My Husband Doesn't Want Us To Get A House Help by Urchinpainer: 3:26pm On May 10, 2023
Xerona:
Hello Nairalanders, there is an issue at hand.
I have two kids and recently gave birth to the third few months ago. It's been really difficult for me since I practically do most of the house chores... my husband is hardly around because of work.

I came down with this strange disturbing headache that doesnt go away. So I went to see a doctor and she said the headache was as a result of postpartum stress and lack of sleep.

The truth is I'm awake most of the time because of the baby or when I'm attending to other household matter. I haven't had a good sleep in a long while. So when the doctor suggested I get a house help so I can find time and sleep when shes holding the baby. I knew she she was on point. But the problem is my husband, he wouldn't hear of it, he doesn't want us to get any househelp...

I even pleaded with him and made him see reasons why I needed help, but he refused... I'm beginning to think I ended up with the wrong person because I dont understand why anyone would deliberately want to subject their wife to this kind of torture.

My kids are age 5, 2 and 3 months... I go to the market, cook, clean, i even do school run too...He's a contractor and will be travelling back to work next week.. yet he doesn't want me to get help...

Hire someone that would come and go daily. Maybe that he would accept. A matured mother.

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