tremilatre:
Typical Dear Joro to Joro post 🤣🤣🤣, it didn't take me 2mins to deduce that, cos I'm a 2mins man 🤣🤣🤣.
Na you still create topic last month about a 35-year-old married woman with trust issues.

https://www.nairaland.com/7691434/married-woman-needs-advice

This time you're also 35yrs but never married.

I don't waste precious advice on fictional characters.

That OP is mad.. He is Dora,
Werey is still Funsho

Kajaard:


Who says a woman cannot live without being married? Why is the Nigerian society so toxic towards single women?

Look if you have noticed these signs before marriage, just know that it will continue after marriage as well. If you are really saying the truth about him being very controling and domineering, as well as always listening to his family and you having no say in any decision making, then lady you have a serious decision to make. Cheers.

Most Nigerian women love the idea of getting married because the culture here supports them taking less financial responsibility. If they are financially stable, they won't settle for less knowing they have something more to offer other than babies and sweet dishes

Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

I personally feel it's something you both need to agree on. But I'll also advice you support financially if you aren't. If you are paying for the traditional attire, he won't have a need to consult his mum

Kajaard:


Another fool

Are you mistaking me for your father

Thank God that you have a man. Who should be in control of your family? You or your finance? I guess one of the reason why you are 35 before marriage is this attitude of yours not being submissive or want to control. Your observations are petty and may ruin your marriage in future. Two drivers can't drive at the same time, allow your finance to control. The role of woman is complementary, you add or support to what is on ground. At 35 I expect high maturity than 25 years lady. Your mate are close to retirement in marriage 😁and you're just entering and complaining of rightful call of a man. Will be appropriate for you to be in control or make control 50/50? I pray you are blessed with sons and your daughters in law control your son's. Look beyond petty and enjoy your marriage

Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

These are red flags.



You can endure other things, but you see that controlling part, it is not something that you would enjoy.



A controlling partner is a nightmare. It is the worst thing that can ever happen in a marriage.

Jahsdaughter052:
please don't because of pressures to get married and enter a marriage not meant for you.
Pray to God and see how he will help you

What will a sensible man be doing with a 35 yr old lady, unless he is remarrying. I’m even scared of 30 yrs old Bcus of fertility issues

See you are still talking run from the marriage and you letter regret running,better be submissive to God

Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

At your age, you don't expect him to be at your service - he feels you have seen life and you'll be more submissive than these younger girls out there. The only reason he's 40 and marrying someone who's 35 is because he needs someone he can easily control.

Get married first, then address some of the things. Wedding is a one day thing, don't let the decisions he's taken over it to disturb you.

Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

Everyone knows the wedding day is for both families involved. One person can't be the alpha and Omega of the decisions just because he is the man of the house or pays the bill.

Now that I've established that premise, let's backtrack a little.

Marriage is a life time contract and commitment.
35 years of single hood is still OK.
Especially when you compare it with 35/70 years of a frustrated marriage. I forbid and cancel that for you in Jesus name. Amen

You will have a blessed and fruitful marriage and home because that is God's promise and purpose for you and every believer. I do hope you're a believer.

The first thing that can help you the most in making good choices in life and also jn marriage is first to overcone your fears, doubts and pressure.

What will happen if you dont marry at all? Will that really be the worst thing in the world?
Is it not better to avoid a miserable marriage and live a fulfilled and accomplished life as a single prosperous woman who has touched the lives of so many and raised many children not even her own?

If marriage is your heart desire. Is marrying well at 40 years really too long to wait? Of which God can do it even by this time next year.

If your present relationship/engagement gives you the heebie-jeebies, trust me it is worth paying attention to. But be sure it is not just cold feet which is normal. Seek good counsel from marriage counsellors you trust and admire their own marriage.

Finally, take away the pressure from yourself. Pressure is simply a synonym for desperation. Pls don't let anyone put you under pressure, and do not put yourself under undue pressure. There's an acceptable threshold of pressure we all should have so that we are not just complacent about life and lazy. But too much pressure will more often than not, push one into error and regrettable choices.

I pray you get marriage right and most importantly I pray you get God right, because with that, every other thing falls in place by natural order. Matt 6:33
God help you and us all.

Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

Call him out for a discussion on your observations. If he doesn't reason to Ur fears, pull out now from the relationship. Marriage is for two to tangle and not crowd to tangle. Anything more than two is a crowd.

Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

sincerely I really understand how that feels especially knowing you are a lady at 35. Realistically the only reason we speak of a lady having kids at that age is realistic reason of bearing children within such period. Anyhow my dear, you may go on with your life the way it come at you and only hope for the best; believing in God .... Go get married and be positive, have children and try to be happy and if he does not want you to be happy, you sure have a lot of choice to make(you know what I mean) God be with you Note: The only reason it can be worse for a lady is if she solely dependent on a man financially.

Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

Ju hit th ground runn having a kid asap. You son want kids with intellectual disability due to the age of both of you.

Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

Red Flags. Dont endure what you CANNOT sustain. Let him know about it and if he does not change, cancel it.

See you, see express, see dangote trailers without break.

vickydevoka:

What will a sensible man be doing with a 35 yr old lady, unless he is remarrying. I’m even scared of 30 yrs old Bcus of fertility issues

Are you saying this? Reeks of ignorance.

Teymanhenry:


Most Nigerian women love the idea of getting married because the culture here supports them taking less financial responsibility. If they are financially stable, they won't settle for less knowing they have something more to offer other than babies and sweet dishes

Exactly.

You nailed it.

Very nonsense reason for supporting a lifetime of servitude to another human you are probably more sensible than or have more moral uprightness than.

I tire for women like that

vickydevoka:

What will a sensible man be doing with a 35 yr old lady, unless he is remarrying. I’m even scared of 30 yrs old Bcus of fertility issues

Oh my! Are you for real?

histemple:
See you, see express, see dangote trailers without break.

Lol.. See analogy o

Pay good attention to these red flags,if you're not in the same city with his parents it's still manageable but if he reside in same town with his mom,hmmmmm get ready to marry mama and bomboy

MEANWHILE
LETS GIVE YOUR STRUCTURE A GOOD PAINTING DESIGN YOU DESERVED

I have two questions for you Ms! How old are you? Are you married?

Klass99:


Where have you been?

Because in their small minds they erroneously assume that a single woman can never be happy or fufilled without marriage and children.

They can't fathom that with some of us, dem no use marriage swear for us or that travel, home ownership, eating well, living right and a succesful relationship with God, matters to us more than those things.

Sit back and watch those kind of small minded people attack me for my view. They never fail to display their ignorance and shallowness.

In all you said, you never mentioned that you sat with him to discuss your concerns. Isn't that the first thing to do? He might not even realize how bad he sucks at this. Have a conversation with your man before you cancel your golden chance of being married.

Some comments are just not nice on this forum.

vickydevoka:

What will a sensible man be doing with a 35 yr old lady, unless he is remarrying. I’m even scared of 30 yrs old Bcus of fertility issues

Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

Run o

adetunrayo:
Did you seek the face of God before getting this far? It is never to late to ask God before you tie the knot.

Let God direct your choice not your age. Marriage without seeking God's direction before proceeding is baba ijebu.

God is the foundation of marriage. Seek His face before it's too late.

Lol, you guys won't stop surprising me.

Literally telling God the brain he gave you is USELESS

Obviously,
But I still have to let you know from my side, am 38 years old and looking for a wife, should in case you are not comfortable with those signs please you are welcome to my world.

Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

He who pays the piper calls the tune. If your finance and his family are providing the money for your wedding, then they can dictate the arrangements for the wedding. If your finance is the kind that relies on his mother to make decisions for him, then that is a red flag that you should not ignore. If his mother and siblings don't like you, then that is another red. If he is hostile towards you than that is third red flag. I would advice that you fast and pray about your wedding and ask God for a sign.

bestman09:
If you can't submit to your husband, better back out now and wait for Mr right.

There's no perfect man or marriage anywhere. It'll be easier for you to adjust to some certain things while inside than trying to control the same thing from outside

pray to God to direct u to the right way.

Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

Call me let’s chat .
On the off chance you don’t call .

As painful as it is break it off.
A broken relationship is better than a broken and unhappy marriage.
Even if he begs or people beg . Do so unless you will have a lot of sleepless and lonely nights.

Kaido:
Call off the wedding, and hunt for a man who is less controlling.

Who knows you might find one in few weeks time or even when you clock 48 years old.

Good luck!

If you are financially independent, Go on with your” full Chest”.
If you’re not, apply wisdom because age is not on your side .you need to have children so if he’s comfortable and responsible enough to take care of his future children, manage him like that. .most men behave immaturely till they’re older in marriage.

Imasurvivor:
■ If you are financially independent, Go on with your” full Chest”.
If you’re not, apply wisdom because age is not on your side .you need to have children so if he’s comfortable and responsible enough to take care of his future children, manage him like that. .most men behave immaturely till they’re older in marriage.

Why does she "need" to have children?

Would it be utter wickedness for her to knowingly choose to have kids in a situation she is unsure of?