jackmrandy:


get her engaged in an activity and she willl forget about all her worries. does she have where she goes to everymorning once she wakes up? if no, open a small biz for her, don't allow her to be alone. let her be doing the trade irrespective of whether its profitable or not (since you guys are ok now to take care of her) this is just to ensure she gets her mind busy and occupied with other activities.

helping her find her ikigai, Japanese secret to a long and happy life.

I endorse!

That's her to see a psychiatrist for medication for some anti depressant tablets to get her back to life. Less it keeps getting worst

She'll get over it. Don't worry yourself.

Take her to see a psychiatrist for medication. People should understand that depression is an illness and needs medication. Depression is when the happy hormones drops in us when some hormones in the brain drops due to incident or truama and with proper medication she will revive and be happy again just that it comes with cost . talking out of experience I can't open all details here but you can reach me for further discussion onyekakk@gmail.com.

Blackazuma99:
Good day to everyone in this forum, please I am in desperate need of your advice.

Early 2014 she lost her dad, 2016 she lost her only brother (my uncle) and then the worst happened in 2021,i lost my father which is her husband, and since then God has been faithful, I graduated same year, my elder sister got a good job same year, we got our first family house same with other benefits.

But the problem has been my mum, she's always depressed and always thinking, thinking of my late dad, we have tried our best as the children to make her happy, especially me the first son. Please i need advice on what to do, I really don't want my mother to die of depression 😞.

Depression is a functional mental health condition and and could lead to suicide or suicidal ideation. Demise of a love one is a known trigger. Unfortunately, in Nigeria mental health is not a priority in our society.Primarily, she would benefit from antidepressant drug but needs to be reviewed by a psychiatrist who can make the prescription. Equally, cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) from a clinical psychologist, and positive activity engagement are important adjunct therapy for depression. This is the standard of care in the NHS (UK) as I work in this setting, please be proactive in getting her a mental assessment.

Afam4eva:
There's no magic wand to make her come out of depression. All you havw to do is to know the things that she loves or has been her heart desires and make them a reality. Her heart desires could be her children turning out right and succeeding. So, you as her children should try to make that her reality and most importantly, always tell her about your achievements no matter how small.

One of the OG's of nairaland. Its been a while I saw your moniker.

did she have any grandchild yet ? if No
you guys should try and get her one . if you guys do that am sure she will forget your late dad in no time

Blackazuma99:
Good day to everyone in this forum, please I am in desperate need of your advice.

Early 2014 she lost her dad, 2016 she lost her only brother (my uncle) and then the worst happened in 2021,i lost my father which is her husband, and since then God has been faithful, I graduated same year, my elder sister got a good job same year, we got our first family house same with other benefits.

But the problem has been my mum, she's always depressed and always thinking, thinking of my late dad, we have tried our best as the children to make her happy, especially me the first son. Please i need advice on what to do, I really don't want my mother to die of depression 😞.

Let her know Christ!

MRDEE01:
It is grand children that can only make them happy at this stage.

If you or any of your siblings are married and have kids,kindly bring her over so the children can put smiles on her face.


Abeg I dey find car to drive on bolt/uber platform abuja.
I deliver without stories.
N.B- I am experienced

Still wan drive bolt for this period (You'll have to convince me oo)
Where's your location
Message me

You can stylishly get her a man friend

Fuckingmallam45:



Avoid cliches, please. Telling someone in the depth of despair that “everything happens for a reason” or “it will pass” isn’t helpful. Nor will lies like “lots of people care about you”, or “you have lots of friends”.

Ultimately there is nothing to “always” say to someone in depression. Words won’t help.

What you can do is show you care and are there for them, with your actions.

Visit them, help get the dishes done, help clean the bathroom, take out their garbage, offer to make them a bubble bath. Take them a nice soft blanket to snuggle up in. A new set of pillows can make someone’s whole month. They won’t ask for help, even when they need it. But know that in the depth of a severe depression, doing anything at all takes herculean effort.

Depression causes a lot of physical pain. Helping someone be more comfortable is one of the best things you can do. They don’t have the strength, energy or motivation to clean, tidy or cook a decent meal. Take them for dinner or make them something they like to eat. Don’t ask them how they are. Instead, talk about things that you did, a bird you saw that day, a funny conversation with someone. If they want to talk, they will, but don’t push.

Often just spending time sitting beside someone watching tv can be enough. They may not respond but that kind of gesture means the world. My friends all vanished within a couple of years of me getting sick. Just one person caring enough to keep in touch and come visit even once every week or two would have meant the world. I have one friend who comes by for about 1/2 hour once a year. Even that, I appreciate, because it means I still exist to them.

SoftP:

She doesn’t need medication; it’s a psychological defect built from emotions, medication cannot correct emotions!
changing environment has been a very good approach to managing stress from loss of dear ones’
pls do some research;
it has helped lots of persons; though she won’t forget completely, but will detach her from shadow presence

I don't need to do any research because I have being there.Are you aware there are five stages of grief?Some people over come it some never do.You don't need change of environment to cure depression and yes, medications can cure emotional imbalance.Research it.

Blackazuma99:


She is a trader already, the problem is that even in the market she is depressed and thinking

Then she needs man to keep her in company. Its not easy and not good for a woman to be alone.Let her find s friend of her own.

Blackazuma99:


She is a trader already, the problem is that even in the market she is depressed and thinking

It's really unfortunate that the only seemingly solution to her ordeal is not effective...

I really don't have an advice to give but hope and wish that mummy snaps or comes out of that depression in the universe name.....Amen

If I talk my mind now, Mynd44 and that other moderator wey no like me go ban me till 2027

eepeepook:
She'll get over it. Don't worry yourself.

That is bad advice!

This might sound absurd to some people here but the truth is that....

If you truly love God with all your heart and you put God first in everything above all other things including your children, husband, wife, Jobs, achievements, finance etc...regardless of religion denomination.......If you eventually lost any of these things have mentioned co-incidentally especially when it is beyong your control and God still stands out in your life, as human you will feel very sad and unhappy no doubt but the love you have for God above all those things will comfort you overtime as he continually comforts you.

Kobojunkie:
That is bad advice!

“Life is Short. Make Sure You Spend As Much Time As Possible on the Internet Arguing with Strangers.”

You need to give her problem to solve to put her on her toes. One of you should pretend seriously ill or in deep problem that will waken the giant in her again. Avoid over petting give her issues to solve cos she is becoming too comfortable n complacent.

Find husband for her o

Dpaulie:
Still wan drive bolt for this period (You'll have to convince me oo) Where's your location Message me

I have messaged you

Blackazuma99:
Good day to everyone in this forum, please I am in desperate need of your advice.

Early 2014 she lost her dad, 2016 she lost her only brother (my uncle) and then the worst happened in 2021,i lost my father which is her husband, and since then God has been faithful, I graduated same year, my elder sister got a good job same year, we got our first family house same with other benefits.

But the problem has been my mum, she's always depressed and always thinking, thinking of my late dad, we have tried our best as the children to make her happy, especially me the first son. Please i need advice on what to do, I really don't want my mother to die of depression 😞.

You guys have tried by making her to be happy yet she is depressed

Have you ever talked to her,
to get a friend that will keep her company
A sort of a companion

If you haven't, you need to have a pep talk with her

Loneliness is one of the problems she is facing

She need a companion, let's start from that

She needs prayers for a spiritual touch.

MRDEE01:
It is grand children that can only make them happy at this stage.

If you or any of your siblings are married and have kids,kindly bring her over so the children can put smiles on her face.


Abeg I dey find car to drive on bolt/uber platform abuja.
I deliver without stories.
N.B- I am experienced

Big ups brother. @op. This
would keep her occupied. And if may see tge likeness of her husband in one of them

Grand kids is the best way to heal from depression for your mum, take her out along with d grand kids and take alot of pixs and videos. Not just one grand kid like 2 or 3,she would be so busy watchin them she won't av time to think of sumtin else

Since trading is not helping, a grandchild/ grandchildren would lift her spirits because she would be looking towards her future.

Also engage her to understand the source of depression: loneliness? Afraid of death? Tired of life? Afraid that others would eventually leave her? Etc. When you understand, then you can consider seeking a therapist.

It is well.

[color=#990000][/color]

I am sorry about your losses and your Mom's.
However you might need to do somethings other than console or appeal to. She has been hit with some pretty challenging life circumstances so she might need some medicinal help.

You can take her to see a doctor that can prescribe some medications for her or you could try some herbal supplements e.g. Rhodiola Rosea. You can Google it. It is available in Nigeria. Very effective.
However, not to be mixed with alcohol or any other CNS altering drugs. I repeat, it is very effective.

All the best!

P.S. Laraholic.ng stock a lovely brand that I can vouch for. (I am not their agent).

Blackazuma99:
Good day to everyone in this forum, please I am in desperate need of your advice.

Early 2014 she lost her dad, 2016 she lost her only brother (my uncle) and then the worst happened in 2021,i lost my father which is her husband, and since then God has been faithful, I graduated same year, my elder sister got a good job same year, we got our first family house same with other benefits.

But the problem has been my mum, she's always depressed and always thinking, thinking of my late dad, we have tried our best as the children to make her happy, especially me the first son. Please i need advice on what to do, I really don't want my mother to die of depression 😞.

Fuckingmallam45:



Avoid cliches, please. Telling someone in the depth of despair that “everything happens for a reason” or “it will pass” isn’t helpful. Nor will lies like “lots of people care about you”, or “you have lots of friends”.

Ultimately there is nothing to “always” say to someone in depression. Words won’t help.

What you can do is show you care and are there for them, with your actions.

Visit them, help get the dishes done, help clean the bathroom, take out their garbage, offer to make them a bubble bath. Take them a nice soft blanket to snuggle up in. A new set of pillows can make someone’s whole month. They won’t ask for help, even when they need it. But know that in the depth of a severe depression, doing anything at all takes herculean effort.

Depression causes a lot of physical pain. Helping someone be more comfortable is one of the best things you can do. They don’t have the strength, energy or motivation to clean, tidy or cook a decent meal. Take them for dinner or make them something they like to eat. Don’t ask them how they are. Instead, talk about things that you did, a bird you saw that day, a funny conversation with someone. If they want to talk, they will, but don’t push.

Often just spending time sitting beside someone watching tv can be enough. They may not respond but that kind of gesture means the world. My friends all vanished within a couple of years of me getting sick. Just one person caring enough to keep in touch and come visit even once every week or two would have meant the world. I have one friend who comes by for about 1/2 hour once a year. Even that, I appreciate, because it means I still exist to them.

This is very deep! I learnt a lot. Thanks for sharing this.

E be like say mumcy dey reason say u use popcy for ritual

Blackazuma99:
Good day to everyone in this forum, please I am in desperate need of your advice.

Early 2014 she lost her dad, 2016 she lost her only brother (my uncle) and then the worst happened in 2021,i lost my father which is her husband, and since then God has been faithful, I graduated same year, my elder sister got a good job same year, we got our first family house same with other benefits.

But the problem has been my mum, she's always depressed and always thinking, thinking of my late dad, we have tried our best as the children to make her happy, especially me the first son. Please i need advice on what to do, I really don't want my mother to die of depression 😞.

Prayers work wonders... Dedicate a time regularly, weekly to fast and pray to God committing her into His able hands.. Tell God the changes you wish to see in her and use her as a point of contact to widows facing same plite all over the world especially those of the house hold of fairh... Remember to use bible references in your prayers.. God bless

Blackazuma99:
Good day to everyone in this forum, please I am in desperate need of your advice.

Early 2014 she lost her dad, 2016 she lost her only brother (my uncle) and then the worst happened in 2021,i lost my father which is her husband, and since then God has been faithful, I graduated same year, my elder sister got a good job same year, we got our first family house same with other benefits.

But the problem has been my mum, she's always depressed and always thinking, thinking of my late dad, we have tried our best as the children to make her happy, especially me the first son. Please i need advice on what to do, I really don't want my mother to die of depression 😞.

Depression is not something you can just wish away. It’s actually caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Sometimes psychotherapy alone works, but depending on how much it may have progressed, meds may become a necessity. Have you sought professional counseling service for her? That’s where you should start. It’s good to get her something that would keep her busy, but she first needs to be in the right state of mind.