Please, house I need your advice on this issue of relationship that's bothering me. There was a girl I dated 4 years ago and we separated 2 years ago. I ran after this girl for 3 years before she accepted my proposal only for her to tell me, 2 years into our relationship that we should go our separate ways. When I asked why, she told me that she wanted to focus on her career (education). This was a girl that had tested my faithfulness on a number of occasion but found nothing suspicious about me or my intention. I did my best to show her that I really needed her. Though she was not committed to the relationship the same way I did, she was faithful. We never had se.x because "zip up" was her song. I tried my best to let her realise I wasn't a hinderance to her success but she had made up her mind. After a week of separation, I met another lovely girl and we're getting married next month which is exactly two years into our courtship. Now this year August, the former girl has found her way back into my life and she even confessed to me that she tried numerous phone numbers before she finally and rightly guessed my phone number. She is the one calling me everyday without asking me to call her. My problem is that I don't know how to tell her the truth without hurting her feeling. I'm 29, my fiancee is 25 while she is 24. I can't marry her, it is too late. Despite the fact that I've asked her many questions, she never asked me whether I have any girl at the moment or not. How do I go about it, please advise.

Its your cookie to roast or burn.
I dont know either of the girls; you do
my point is; the buck stops at your table, your choice to make

@claremont, I even prayed when I realised that she had made up her mind that none of us would regret this break up. I'm supposed to be now, but I couldn't.
@Connoisseur, I've made my choice already. The reason why I'm communicating with her right now is that I'm far away from my fiancee. I'm definitely going to tell her before I return home but how to go about it. I even told my fiancee about her and what she did to me, and that I don't intend to waste another two years with another girl.

^ u sound lyk u still in2 dis ex
tell er n dats it

@Dyt, yes I sound like it but the truth is capital NO! What happened really caught me unaware because that was the last person I expected back into my life. But her desperation this time around really attracts my sympathy. I'm in PH, my fiancee in Osogbo, and she is in IB. I'll tell her tomorrow.

I see no dilemma here o, she broke up with you and its been two years,telling her shouldn't be a problem since you said you no longer have feelings for her,in short invite her to the wedding ceremony.

u ve got no option but to tell her but how do u tell her? Tell her she shldn't take as an offence dt u ve found the person u want to settle down with and dt u re getting married soon. And see wat she has to say. I ve got a similar case om hand too presently.

^^^after all, there many people who could close their hearts at will.

Give her an I V, irrespestive of her feelings, let her know its too late, u already found love in someone else after u went in ur diff ways.

U r in denial, u stil luv her, my advice tell her about the new girl, but please don't invite her over & don't accept any gift from her.

@poster, there's no other way to tell her than to open your mouth and tell her about your wedding, if that's too much to do,then send her your Wedding IV ASAP

Don't take her for a ride, tell her the truth.

Something is fishy here though I think you still luv this other girl.

Why don't you just e-mail her a wedding invite ?

@All, I know the meaning of "self denial" and I have no reason to lie to you. My heart belongs to person at a time and someone is already in possession of it. The D-Day has already been fixed, point of no return. Please, don't read another meanings to this post other than the way I presented it to you. During that two years, I gave the relationship everything but I expected only commitment on her part in return which was a mirage. My concern is that she'll be devastated to hear the truth. In less than the next 24 hours, all will know the outcome. How I wish I could revenge because she lead me through the passage of "love hell" but I can't.

IF [/b]you must tell her.

[b]Setting: Open restuarant .make sure there are people around.
Time: Daytime

Scene 1
Masoaps walk in and takes a seat. Lady xyz walks in dressed to kill with high expectations.
Masoaps quickly extends his hand for greeting to avoid a passionate hug or kiss. They both sit .

Masoap: Hi,xyz. Thank you for coming. I called you cz I got something very important I need to share with you as a friend.(heavy tone)
I am going to keep it brief and straightforward because I have other urgent matters to attend to in the next 15 min.(shorter the better.This is not a break up)

Her: Ok go ahead.

Masoap: We had a wonderful relationship which lasted 4 years.Unfortunately you decided to end it even though I had given my whole into it. I understand you were not ready but as a man I knew what I needed at that particular time and was prepared to take it to the next level.
It broke my heart to see you  go but a man's got to do what a man's got to do. I picked my broken pieces and moved on.
Along the way I met a wonderful gal who helped put the broken pieces back together.What you see now is a completely different guy. Not the one you knew.

Now the best part is this. I proposed to this sweet lady I met and she did not waste time saying yes because she understood me.
And guess what? we are getting married very soon . _Smile You are welcomed. I will make sure you receive a card.
Now having said that, I know you are a nice/beautiful  lady and very soon you will meet a guy that totally appreciates you. That I can assure you because I see it in you.Its even better that you are ready to settle so don't keep the next angel waiting.
Men know what they want and when they find it they want to make it theirs. Tell her that.

Well xyz,I said at the beginning I will be brief so that's it.

Next pretend you are reading text on phone then let her know that you have to leave.  Do not give room for a million questions cz they will result into tears and emotional drama.Now you don't want that in a public place.
Go and never look back, let it sink in.

You have passed the message as a gentleman without drama.
goodluck

@pendo89, I don't even know how best to respond to this stage drama. But you made me remember that in one of our conversation, I told her that I'm not the same man she left two years ago but a better man.

^That is my point.
She thinks she can continue from where she left you. People forget that a lot happens whenever gaps occur.
She's afraid of asking if you have a girl because she knows the answer is yes.She is just not ready to hear the negative and that is comforting for her.
But you got nothing to fear.
Appproach her bravely as a different man. Let her see the change even before u open ur mouth. Then forget it and concentrate more on your current relatioship cz it will help you erase her completely.

Fashi d babe jor, y re u bothered? U dont owe her anything. Its ur choice if u wanna tell her or not. Dont even tell her. Dat girl jst realized her mistake and dat zipup parol durin ur courtship was a big scam

maasoap:

@All, I know the meaning of "self denial" and I have no reason to lie to you. My heart belongs to person at a time and someone is already in possession of it. The D-Day has already been fixed, point of no return. Please, don't read another meanings to this post other than the way I presented it to you.

Yes, it's hard.  But you've been talking on the phone with the former girlfriend for 2 months and you still haven't told her you're not available?   Imagine what your fiancee will say if she finds out.

During that two years, I gave the relationship everything but I expected only commitment on her part in return which was a mirage. My concern is that she'll be devastated to hear the truth. In less than the next 24 hours, all will know the outcome. How I wish I could revenge because she lead me through the passage of "love hell" but I can't.

You're very eloquent.   Are you available?   lol.

Better learn quickly how to say "No," old boy.

Put pieces of pebbles inside the wedding invitation card and seal it properly
drive, run, stroll, walk or crawl to her place what matters is that you get to her front door.
press the bell or ban.g on the door, na you know. just make sure someone opens the door.
MAKE SURE SHE COMES RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU TO WELCOME YOU.
VOL-LA! throw the invitation card with pebbles on her forehead (make sure it lands on her forehead)
then say "thanks for taking your miserable self off my life and giving me the opportunity to meet a better person".
while she is dazed at the pebbles hitting her head and probably bleeding profusely
walk right in front of her raising your middle finger and say "rot in hell bi-tch!"
then leave the very way you came.
this time either drive faster, tell the okada man to speed faster or you run faster. whatever you decide just make sure it is 10 times faster than the way you came.

Chikena!

i mean just tell; her straight up that u're seeing someone else. she wont kill you now

9dynasty:

@pendo89, reading your little script there had me going ** a bit, i forgot i was browsing not watching tonto dike and van viker. . .lol
@poster guy if you know weytin good for you follow weytin pendo89 just act write

well he asked 'how do i tell her' and that was all I cld think of 'how'  Ouch! he must have done it already and there's a river of tears flowing in lagos.
Oh this word called love is bitter sweet.
There's nothing bad like loving what you cannot have!

@all, I've fulfilled my promise. Don't forget that I said the three of us are at three different locations that are far apart which means no chance of meeting physically at the moment. To make things easier for me, I sent message (one page) to her yesterday night and she called me immediately but I told her that I would call her today. This was to allow her come to term with my message. I've called her today, explained the things to her as they are and I could hear someone weeping silently at the other end. But my people, I have to tell you this: I must tell my fiancee again about this girl because she can call or text at any time being someone who doesn't keep his phone to himself alone. I said this because of her statement that there is possibility for us to meet before this year runs out! And I also have intention to change my residential address soon. Thanks to you all, you've pushed me to do it and I'm free.

let bygones be bygones. Dont string her along now or else you destroy ur current relationship.

My advise for u is pls tell her on phone that it late u are getting marry soon to another lady.let her know u met her 2yrs ago when she droped u. Pls i cote again pls don't send her d IV oooo. And after telling her pls change ur line and forget about her..u don't have to be receiving her call again...'Cos d more u do d feelings will come. Fast and let her know u are getting marry asap.block ur line,do ur wedding with d present lady. i wish u goodluck

pendo89: IF [/b]you must tell her.

[b]Setting: Open restuarant .make sure there are people around.
Time: Daytime

Scene 1
Masoaps walk in and takes a seat. Lady xyz walks in dressed to kill with high expectations.
Masoaps quickly extends his hand for greeting to avoid a passionate hug or kiss. They both sit .

Masoap: Hi,xyz. Thank you for coming. I called you cz I got something very important I need to share with you as a friend.(heavy tone)
I am going to keep it brief and straightforward because I have other urgent matters to attend to in the next 15 min.(shorter the better.This is not a break up)

Her: Ok go ahead.

Masoap: We had a wonderful relationship which lasted 4 years.Unfortunately you decided to end it even though I had given my whole into it. I understand you were not ready but as a man I knew what I needed at that particular time and was prepared to take it to the next level.
It broke my heart to see you  go but a man's got to do what a man's got to do. I picked my broken pieces and moved on.
Along the way I met a wonderful gal who helped put the broken pieces back together.What you see now is a completely different guy. Not the one you knew.

Now the best part is this. I proposed to this sweet lady I met and she did not waste time saying yes because she understood me.
And guess what? we are getting married very soon . _Smile You are welcomed. I will make sure you receive a card.
Now having said that, I know you are a nice/beautiful  lady and very soon you will meet a guy that totally appreciates you. That I can assure you because I see it in you.Its even better that you are ready to settle so don't keep the next angel waiting.
Men know what they want and when they find it they want to make it theirs. Tell her that.

Well xyz,I said at the beginning I will be brief so that's it.

Next pretend you are reading text on phone then let her know that you have to leave.  Do not give room for a million questions cz they will result into tears and emotional drama.Now you don't want that in a public place.
Go and never look back, let it sink in.

You have passed the message as a gentleman without drama.
goodluck

U too like story all the above say wetin now


Simply tell her....


XYZ, you blind? U no see say another person don take over? Abeg, enter BRT lane.


OP, u sef? Na wah oh! So u need help for this small matter?


Na mouth u go take talk and na nyash una go take siddon.

claremont: If I were you, I will tell the former girl to f-uck off, and concentrate on the current girl. You and the former girl broke up, and you have licked your wounds and have found another girl. Let your ex go and look for her "knight in a shinning armour" elsewhere, na dis kain thing dey sweet me wella!

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