Samantha124:
What was her reason for not paying? I mean why would she want to embarrass her children like that?

I still don't know her reason for not paying and not even telling me. Because we haven't spoken since that day( last Monday) I got home from work I didn't say anything and she always kept quiet till today

We haven't spoken in case you want to ask

Someone already told you what to do. He said something about getting second wife if you can't divorce her.

I will always prefer that option than making my children a product of single parenting, it affect child alot.

When una dey courtship, you no see the redflag?

You saw the signs before you got married to her, but you decided to ignore.

Try Marriage counselling. You might get some luck with that.

I'm sorry to say you're married to a fire breathing dragon..

Didi2d:


I still don't know her reason for not paying and not even telling me. Because we haven't spoken since that day( last Monday) I got home from work I didn't say anything and she always kept quiet till today

We haven't spoken in case you want to ask

Samantha124:
Study her and try another strategy, make her your homework...

While depression kills him, then she takes the kid to another man

naice:
I find myself facing a difficult situation in my marriage and would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. The issue at hand revolves around my wife's unwillingness to listen to me. I'm at a loss as to why she behaves this way, and it's starting to take a toll on our relationship.

To provide some context, my wife has a strong-headed personality, which often leads to conflicts between us. No matter how gently I communicate my concerns or requests, she seems to disregard them and even does the opposite. This behavior frustrates me and leaves me questioning our compatibility.

One possible explanation I've considered is her background as an orphan. She lost her parents at a young age and had to take on the responsibility of caring for herself and her siblings. While I understand the challenges she faced, it seems like her self-reliance has translated into a resistance to accepting input or guidance from others, including me.

At this point, I have contemplated divorce, but there's a significant factor holding me back: our children. I love them deeply and cannot bear the thought of being separated from them. As much as her strong-headedness affects me, I firmly believe that domestic violence is never an option.

I'm reaching out to this community for reasonable opinions and advice on how to navigate this situation. Have any of you experienced a similar dynamic in your relationships? How did you cope with a spouse who doesn't listen? Are there effective strategies to foster better communication and understanding in such circumstances?

Thank you in advance for your support and guidance. Your insights will be invaluable in helping me make an informed decision about the future of my marriage."

Just agree to whatever she says. She will soon realise that are right later

jaafree:
As stupid as this my advice may be, it's the only way you will save yourself from her stress. Now since she don't listen to you fine, let her be, but do not talk or be in her way for some time. But warn her not to complian about you not caring or supportive. Allow her do what she likes without your support until she came complaining. Thank me later.

You have said something here

Samantha124:
I'm sorry to say you're married to a fire breathing dragon..

Smiles..

You write very well. Well-punctuated and paragraphed sentences.

I have no advice for you BTW.

naice:
I find myself facing a difficult situation in my marriage and would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. The issue at hand revolves around my wife's unwillingness to listen to me. I'm at a loss as to why she behaves this way, and it's starting to take a toll on our relationship.

To provide some context, my wife has a strong-headed personality, which often leads to conflicts between us. No matter how gently I communicate my concerns or requests, she seems to disregard them and even does the opposite. This behavior frustrates me and leaves me questioning our compatibility.

One possible explanation I've considered is her background as an orphan. She lost her parents at a young age and had to take on the responsibility of caring for herself and her siblings. While I understand the challenges she faced, it seems like her self-reliance has translated into a resistance to accepting input or guidance from others, including me.

At this point, I have contemplated divorce, but there's a significant factor holding me back: our children. I love them deeply and cannot bear the thought of being separated from them. As much as her strong-headedness affects me, I firmly believe that domestic violence is never an option.

I'm reaching out to this community for reasonable opinions and advice on how to navigate this situation. Have any of you experienced a similar dynamic in your relationships? How did you cope with a spouse who doesn't listen? Are there effective strategies to foster better communication and understanding in such circumstances?

Thank you in advance for your support and guidance. Your insights will be invaluable in helping me make an informed decision about the future of my marriage."

there’s no way you didn’t know this, or experienced some flashes of this trait , before your marriage.
But you decided to proceed hoping she’d change, or probably married her out of pity that she was an orphan.
Unfortunately now , she has refused to change, just as I’d expect.

Fortunately, it’s not yet a lost cause. Have a real and serious conversation with her, tell her exactly how you feel, then hope she’d change

This is a very critical situation in marriage!😩😩

Maybe you don't talk hard enough to her especially cos women like to win every conversation and will gladly accept your petty humble defeat which feels like gaining power to them

Didi2d:


Ok, let me give one instance.

I gave my wife part payment of my kids (2) school fees to go and pay.
Three weeks later I called the school so I can pay the balance, after doing so, the lady told to the money is not complete, I told her immediately that I have paid part of it before. But the woman said to who, how and when? And I got confused.
And I asked the woman to please give the phone to my daughter, only for me to discover nothing has been paid and I ask the woman to send my daughter home to go collect the money from her mom

To cut the long story, I discovered that my wife didn't pay the the money to the school as directed.

Some minutes later, I saw a call from my wife, but I didn't pick only for her to send me voice note with abuses from her.

see let me tell you bluntly. If you dont start making exit plans from that suffer you called marriage. You would die young if you are lucky. If you are not you would get old get high BP then stroke. And start peeing on your body. Just close your eyes and imagine it.

Purvan:
She's not happy in that marriage



Find a way to make her happy ( spoil her to the core)

You can book a couple massage for both of you with refreshments after you buy her favourite things


After this , she'll be all ears to listen to you more than ever

Just shhhhh

Ovieemmanuel:
see let me tell you bluntly. If you dont start making exit plans from that suffer you called marriage. You would die young if you are lucky. If you are not you would get old get high BP then stroke. And start peeing on your body. Just close your eyes and imagine it.

😂😂😂

I believe you are a prophet. Na my fears you just mention up there.

[quote author=naice post=124070940]I find myself facing a difficult situation in my marriage and would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. The issue at hand revolves around my wife's unwillingness to listen to me. I'm at a loss as to why she behaves this way, and it's starting to take a toll on our relationship.

To provide some context, my wife has a strong-headed personality, which often leads to conflicts between us. No matter how gently I communicate my concerns or requests, she seems to disregard them and even does the opposite. This behavior frustrates me and leaves me questioning our compatibility.

One possible explanation I've considered is her background as an orphan. She lost her parents at a young age and had to take on the responsibility of caring for herself and her siblings. While I understand the challenges she faced, it seems like her self-reliance has translated into a resistance to accepting input or guidance from others, including me.

At this point, I have contemplated divorce, but there's a significant factor holding me back: our children. I love them deeply and cannot bear the thought of being separated from them. As much as her strong-headedness affects me, I firmly believe that domestic violence is never an option.

I'm reaching out to this community for reasonable opinions and advice on how to navigate this situation. Have any of you experienced a similar dynamic in your relationships? How did you cope with a spouse who doesn't listen? Are there effective strategies to foster better communication and understanding in such circumstances?

Thank you in advance for your support and guidance. Your insights will be invaluable in helping me make an informed decision about the future of my marriage."[/quotle]


Was she like that before you married her?
If yes I wish you the best because you failed to either correct it or leave her.
If No then you need to lay your hand on her head while sleeping to cast out any demon manipulating her.

drimzsmoke:


Bros, money doesn't make a woman to respect a man. It is a poor man's believe...The only thing money does is this, when she insults you or hit you head or ask you to come and do something(say chores), you don't feel bad, you just keep laughing or smiling because you have money whereas a poor man will see these things and will want to kill himself. Rich men experience these stuffs too
You might give your babe 50k allowance and she will still refuse you sex because you insulted her in your last fight

Bro, relax o. I am not on redpill or blackpill.

MONEY makes the difference.

The rich men who experience such stuff made the gross mistake of picking ladies who match their class.

DATE FAR LOWER and she will look up to you forever.

lexy2014:


How did you arrive at the above conclusion?

BAD EXPERIENCE PUSHED ME TO FIND GREAT MENTORS AND THEY TAUGHT ME BITTER TRUTHS.

yrhuhfy113:


BAD EXPERIENCE PUSHED ME TO FIND GREAT MENTORS AND THEY TAUGHT ME BITTER TRUTHS.

How do you know that your "great mentors" taught u the truth?

Who are these your "great mentors" and how did they arrive at the following...

NO WOMAN RESPECTS AND FOLLOWED THE INSTRUCTIONS OF A POOR WISE MAN

You need MONEY sir. That's all.

yrhuhfy113:


Bro, relax o. I am not on redpill or blackpill.

MONEY makes the difference.

The rich men who experience such stuff made the gross mistake of picking ladies who match their class.

DATE FAR LOWER and she will look up to you forever.

This is not true either....familiarity will make her talk to you the way she talks to her friend, just give it time....our father do say when a woman stays in her husband house for too long, she becomes a witch(this is a proverb, I can't remember the exact words), why is that
My younger brother's wife used to call him Mr lagbaja when they got married. We used to laugh at her in my house and said she is too local, behind her back in ooo. Now, after 2 kids, it is babe or his name, Mr Ko, Mrs ni!!!

I can relate well to your story... I have similar issues with my mum now, she lost her husband/my father a long time ago and she had to raise the 5 of us alone, she was in her 30s then. She had to make all decision all by herself for over 30years now and she seems to be used to not waiting for/ seeking anyone's counsel before she does her things. However, right now being the last child and the only son, it's a tough time getting her to do my bidings or agreeing to things.
Bro my advice is simple... you have to choose in which area you want to exercise you authority with ego and let her have more areas where she is in control. In those area you choose to be the boss, bro let your no be no and let yes remain yes. If not, that woman will take over authority from you.

I guess we are in the same boat. My will never listen to u except u accept what she is saying. She will just end the conversation with an anger tone and that's it

You have to understand that, every adult has their lives to live. They also have their decisions to make regardless of their marital status.

You do not have the power to control your wife, you can only advice and if you think that you do not like the way things are going, you can easily quit the marriage and find your type.

Please do not resort to demestic violence, you may not like the outcome and its very risky. If you beat her and she dies or something goes wrong and let's say people Video and put it on the internet, what are you going to say? If you go to jail, how will the children you are protecting cope? Do you think they won't live their lives?

My dear, you have the power to call it quit.

So you want to divorce your wife because she doesn't 'listen' ?


What was so grave that she didn't heed to, that now warrants a divorce ?

Reminderz:
if your wife doesn't listen to you, then she doesn't respect you... if your wife goes against your orders, then she doesn't regard you...

then what should you do especially when kids are involved? the solution is simple, if you don't want to divorce her due to the fact that kids are already involved, then get a second wife... if she doesn't change the way she acts after several attempts and warnings from you to get her back on track, if she doesn't do her responsibilities as your wife, then cease your responsibilities on her also and pay her less attention...

get a second wife and shift your focus.. your life is already filled with struggles as a man, do not let a woman whom you're feeding, clothing and sheltering give you HBP...

besides, you said she lost her parents at a young age, so maybe she has become "masculine" by trying to survive the situation she was in, so she doesn't see you as man enough to take orders from, it's either she sees you as weak or someone inferior to her to be respected... this is one of the issues a woman who wasn't raised in a stable environment or raised by a single parent mostly face.. you might not be able to change it... if you act weak and not masculine enough for her, she won't see you as someone worthy to be followed or respected...

you're right bro,the same thing in facing,my woman didn't respect me ,despite all my trying and been responsible

Went will destroy themselves first before they learn.

Most ladies raised by single mothers or who were orphans and didn't grow up in a proper family face these issues.

They grow up making major decisions that a father or first son should make and therefore develop masculine energy.

She now sees herself as the male figure and can't take advice from a other male.

You'll need to be patient, prayerful, and tactical with her. She only needs to regain her femininity and you'll see the best of her.

As to what you can do, consider these:

1. Never surrender your position as the man. The day you do, you become a slave in that marriage. I'm not saying you should fight, hit, or insult her, but stand your ground firmly. Don't hate her, but be firm.

2. Shower her more love. This is still the best and fastest way to make women regain their femininity. Drown her in love and she'll come around sometime.

3. Look for an older married female that she respects to talk to her. If there's none, start drawing close to one as a couple.

4. Try to get her to read books. You, too, should read books.

You're a wise man! One beer for your head.

Tzar:
I have been married before, my 1st daughter is 15yrs old, so I am speaking from experience. I currently am in another 8yr relationship where we are both matured enough (in our late 40s) and understand our roles clearly without the entrapment of marriage.
No man is ever happy being a simp. I pray you are liberated if you are happily one. The sad part is simping does not only destabilizes the proper structure & order of marriage/relationship by effeminating the man, and making the woman masculine, it destroys society.
Simping is one of the reasons we have offsprings who are excessively emotional children without strong father figures who end up being mass shooters, people with gender dysphoria and young men who are not stoic enough to stand up for women and children when the need arises.
Look at what happened to Biblical Adam and Samson when they turned simps to their women?

You have to sit her down and have constructive communication with her,tell her your concern from your conversations you will hear her own side of challenges and fear.If at the end of the day there is no changes of attitude from her you must reach out to the people you knew she respect so much and tell them your challenges if at the end of the day no change.You must take the bul by the horn and do the needful because of your mental health.

Purvan post=124308382[b:
]She's not happy in that marriage[/b]



Find a way to make her happy ( spoil her to the core)

You can book a couple massage for both of you with refreshments after you buy her favourite things


After this , she'll be all ears to listen to you more than ever

This is nonsensical
If she's not happy in the marriage, then she should simply get out
No one should waste his/her precious time forcing anyone to be in a union s/he doesn't want to be in.

saphiere:

1. You are a dictator. Unfortunately you got married to a stubborn person whom you can't control or dictate for. Since you cannot told her into your pocket has you men do, you become frustrated.

2. Of course she will do the opposite because what you want her to do is not to her benefits or the benefit of the children. Man is selfish by nature. So whatever you want her to do is not to her benefit. Just your selfish interest. Because I see no reason she will do the opposite.

3. Why do I feel you've been carrying out the domestic violence on her before now? Or you just want to do it and you're here to seek for validation?

---

Guys I need a job. Not easy to keep up with the life as a girl child. So many bills to pay.
Hair
Pads
Creame
Dresses
Food
Etc

After making all these silly assumptions with nothing to justify them from the OP's write-up, you still want us to get you a job

What would you be doing at the job??

Make hasty, thoughtless conclusions and decisions, fight your boss and run down the company??