How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice - Family (4)

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How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by chigoziri2403(m): 3:05pm On Jul 09, 2023

Samantha124:
For as long as it works?

If she realises nko?

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Fiscus105(m): 3:10pm On Jul 09, 2023

[quote author=Tzar post=12431394 I have been married before, my 1st daughter is 15yrs old, so as I'm speaking from experience. I currently am in another 8yr relationship where we are both matured enough (in our late 40s) and understand our roles clearly without the entrapment of marriage.
No man is ever happy being a simp. I pray you are liberated if you are happily one. The sad part is simping does not only distabilizes the proper structure & order of marriage/relationship by effeminating the man, and making the woman masculine, it destroys society.
Simping is one of the reasons we have offsprings who are excessively emotional children without strong father figures who end up being mass shooters, people with gender dysphoria and young men who are not stoic enough to stand up for women and children when the need arises.
Look at what happened to Biblical Adam and Samson when they turned simps to their women?

[/quote]

At ur bolded@ you comfirmed what I said, if u has been simp, you wouldn't have been bachelor at old age......I pray ur redpiler Obidient won't land u in incestuous relationship.

...... though long arm of law will definitely catch u.

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Didi2d(m): 3:10pm On Jul 09, 2023

Samantha124:
Not that I'm being biased, but I hope you're not one of those men who always expect their wives to agree to anything they say even if it doesn't make sense... If you are, then you're the problem, but if you're not, then you're married to a fire breathing dragon and you should just make peace with it by agreeing to anything she says for peace's sake...😂😂😂😂

Ok, let me give one instance.

I gave my wife part payment of my kids (2) school fees to go and pay.
Three weeks later I called the school so I can pay the balance, after doing so, the lady told to the money is not complete, I told her immediately that I have paid part of it before. But the woman said to who, how and when? And I got confused.
And I asked the woman to please give the phone to my daughter, only for me to discover nothing has been paid and I ask the woman to send my daughter home to go collect the money from her mom

To cut the long story, I discovered that my wife didn't pay the the money to the school as directed.

Some minutes later, I saw a call from my wife, but I didn't pick only for her to send me voice note with abuses from her.

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by babamadiba(m): 3:16pm On Jul 09, 2023

Samantha124:
I believe you know your wife very well, so I'd advice that you find her soft spot and use it against her, it works all the time.

I'm telling you this because I can be hard headed too...

Na silent treatment I use finish my wife. She got fed up with it and had no choice but to adjust.

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by bukatyne(f): 3:18pm On Jul 09, 2023

naice:
I find myself facing a difficult situation in my marriage and would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. The issue at hand revolves around my wife's unwillingness to listen to me. I'm at a loss as to why she behaves this way, and it's starting to take a toll on our relationship.

To provide some context, my wife has a strong-headed personality, which often leads to conflicts between us. No matter how gently I communicate my concerns or requests, she seems to disregard them and even does the opposite. This behavior frustrates me and leaves me questioning our compatibility.

One possible explanation I've considered is her background as an orphan. She lost her parents at a young age and had to take on the responsibility of caring for herself and her siblings. While I understand the challenges she faced, it seems like her self-reliance has translated into a resistance to accepting input or guidance from others, including me.

At this point, I have contemplated divorce, but there's a significant factor holding me back: our children. I love them deeply and cannot bear the thought of being separated from them. As much as her strong-headedness affects me, I firmly believe that domestic violence is never an option.

I'm reaching out to this community for reasonable opinions and advice on how to navigate this situation. Have any of you experienced a similar dynamic in your relationships? How did you cope with a spouse who doesn't listen? Are there effective strategies to foster better communication and understanding in such circumstances?

Thank you in advance for your support and guidance. Your insights will be invaluable in helping me make an informed decision about the future of my marriage."

Can you give very very practical examples?

And didn't you see this 'trait' before marriage?

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by pongwa(m): 3:18pm On Jul 09, 2023

naice:
I find myself facing a difficult situation in my marriage and would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. The issue at hand revolves around my wife's unwillingness to listen to me. I'm at a loss as to why she behaves this way, and it's starting to take a toll on our relationship.

To provide some context, my wife has a strong-headed personality, which often leads to conflicts between us. No matter how gently I communicate my concerns or requests, she seems to disregard them and even does the opposite. This behavior frustrates me and leaves me questioning our compatibility.

One possible explanation I've considered is her background as an orphan. She lost her parents at a young age and had to take on the responsibility of caring for herself and her siblings. While I understand the challenges she faced, it seems like her self-reliance has translated into a resistance to accepting input or guidance from others, including me.

At this point, I have contemplated divorce, but there's a significant factor holding me back: our children. I love them deeply and cannot bear the thought of being separated from them. As much as her strong-headedness affects me, I firmly believe that domestic violence is never an option.

I'm reaching out to this community for reasonable opinions and advice on how to navigate this situation. Have any of you experienced a similar dynamic in your relationships? How did you cope with a spouse who doesn't listen? Are there effective strategies to foster better communication and understanding in such circumstances?

Thank you in advance for your support and guidance. Your insights will be invaluable in helping me make an informed decision about the future of my marriage."

you have failed to tell us why she is like that

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by pacificom: 3:20pm On Jul 09, 2023

I am also experiencing similar situation. Most people will not really understand you on this platform and as a matter of fact, you don't really need to site any example cos it takes a man courage to bring his personal matter to public audience. Comparing my situation with yours as a co- adult victims, I can tell you that ladies from NO to BAD parental upbringing usually run husband mad . She is always right in her eyes and doesn't need a man to listen to. She will never like what is going on to be shared with a third party, and in that case a man will be dying in silence. It has nothing to do with how much you lavish money on such women. Brother she can't just stop it cos she lack every orientation that makes a woman to see their husband as a king to worship and obey. Meanwhile don't let this woman turn you into a woman beater, cos I know devil will help you drag the matter to the boxing ring. But try to give space and show less concern to her affairs. This may sound weird, but I will advise that you to have a girlfriend to make you happy for the sake of your happiness and mental fitness cos ladies like your wife will be far less romantic with you, and will leave most domestic responsibility to you cos she is a ladyboss. With children involved, divorce is not the answer. Continue to endure that situation, its your lifetime cross to carry, so that you can train your children and bring them up in a way that will make them to have a good future. Men whose wives listens and obeys them will never know how lucky they are because there are many ladies out there that are not wife materials at all; even church or mosque going ones. Good luck to you !

5 Likes

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Boyooosa(m): 3:22pm On Jul 09, 2023

naice:
I find myself facing a difficult situation in my marriage and would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. The issue at hand revolves around my wife's unwillingness to listen to me. I'm at a loss as to why she behaves this way, and it's starting to take a toll on our relationship.

To provide some context, my wife has a strong-headed personality, which often leads to conflicts between us. No matter how gently I communicate my concerns or requests, she seems to disregard them and even does the opposite. This behavior frustrates me and leaves me questioning our compatibility.

One possible explanation I've considered is her background as an orphan. She lost her parents at a young age and had to take on the responsibility of caring for herself and her siblings. While I understand the challenges she faced, it seems like her self-reliance has translated into a resistance to accepting input or guidance from others, including me.

At this point, I have contemplated divorce, but there's a significant factor holding me back: our children. I love them deeply and cannot bear the thought of being separated from them. As much as her strong-headedness affects me, I firmly believe that domestic violence is never an option.

I'm reaching out to this community for reasonable opinions and advice on how to navigate this situation. Have any of you experienced a similar dynamic in your relationships? How did you cope with a spouse who doesn't listen? Are there effective strategies to foster better communication and understanding in such circumstances?

Thank you in advance for your support and guidance. Your insights will be invaluable in helping me make an informed decision about the future of my marriage."

You have a lot to do and invest bro but rest assured, you will get her back.

Its more of psychological problem than attitudinal...

So, you will invest on marriage counseling (baba, no be quack I dey talk o, no be pastor), professional marriage counsellor.

Then, she can go for therapy, she needs to break down her built-up orientation...she might be going too fast and that would be dangerous for your family, so, you need to slow her down with more love and attention - she's missing out parental love and training which may have helped her experience for marital relationship

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Tzar(m): 3:23pm On Jul 09, 2023

You see why I didn't miss it when I called you a simp. Your life actually revolves around a woman validating you. That is why you think being married is macho enough for you, even when your woman controls and tosses you around.
I really don't undersand where the incest / 'obidient' comment comes to play here? If you intend to use that to insult me, I understand your POV. Just like a little girl will insult people when there is nothing sensible to say in an argument, the prominently weak. feminine and bitchy part of you has come out in your diversionary attempt to throw insults. grin

I hope you don't have gender dysphoria tho.

You probably try out your woman's make up and underwear when nobody is looking. wink

Fiscus105:

At ur bolded@ you comfirmed what I said, if u has been simp, you wouldn't have been bachelor at old age......I pray ur redpiler Obidient won't land u in incestuous relationship.

...... though long arm of law will definitely catch u.

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Oxfordgrade: 3:36pm On Jul 09, 2023

[quote author=naice post=124070940]I find myself facing a difficult situation in my marriage and would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. The issue at hand revolves around my wife's unwillingness to listen to me. I'm at a loss as to why she behaves this way, and it's starting to take a toll on our relationship.

To provide some context, my wife has a strong-headed personality, which often leads to conflicts between us. No matter how gently I communicate my concerns or requests, she seems to disregard them and even does the opposite. This behavior frustrates me and leaves me questioning our compatibility.

One possible explanation I've considered is her background as an orphan. She lost her parents at a young age and had to take on the responsibility of caring for herself and her siblings. My brother, this is the exact description of my own wife. I've also consider divorce bu mtt.19:5-9 always stand on my way. Please let bear them that way while hoping through prayer...

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by skuribeebo: 3:39pm On Jul 09, 2023

Most women get strong head, it's everywhere .
That is what we call management.
Manage ur family bro.

U can never get a woman that won't argue with you.

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by ProfXena2025: 3:44pm On Jul 09, 2023

Listening is a very important communication skill, which have been undermined in relationships. However there are exceptions.
Firstly, you didn't give the details of the context nor content of disagreement going on with your wife. If your instructions are not rational, you don't expect her to follow like a zombie.
Secondly, you have to either have a conversation with her or totally ignore.

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Entanglement: 3:45pm On Jul 09, 2023

naice:
I find myself facing a difficult situation in my marriage and would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. The issue at hand revolves around my wife's unwillingness to listen to me. I'm at a loss as to why she behaves this way, and it's starting to take a toll on our relationship.

To provide some context, my wife has a strong-headed personality, which often leads to conflicts between us. No matter how gently I communicate my concerns or requests, she seems to disregard them and even does the opposite. This behavior frustrates me and leaves me questioning our compatibility.

One possible explanation I've considered is her background as an orphan. She lost her parents at a young age and had to take on the responsibility of caring for herself and her siblings. While I understand the challenges she faced, it seems like her self-reliance has translated into a resistance to accepting input or guidance from others, including me.

At this point, I have contemplated divorce, but there's a significant factor holding me back: our children. I love them deeply and cannot bear the thought of being separated from them. As much as her strong-headedness affects me, I firmly believe that domestic violence is never an option.

I'm reaching out to this community for reasonable opinions and advice on how to navigate this situation. Have any of you experienced a similar dynamic in your relationships? How did you cope with a spouse who doesn't listen? Are there effective strategies to foster better communication and understanding in such circumstances?

Thank you in advance for your support and guidance. Your insights will be invaluable in helping me make an informed decision about the future of my marriage."

during courtship didn't you see those signs? undecided

If you knew how many naija women I have dump during courtship because of Their bipolar sickness undecided

It only takes a foolish man to see those signs and keep pushing all in the name of big yansh and breast kiss

Now sex don tired you, na attitude you won change? That's impossible.
Many of these naija women comes with pre-installed mental illness with you can't change angry

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Deegee7788: 3:48pm On Jul 09, 2023

Pls sir, hope you are doing your responsibility as a man. Human being are the most difficult organism to direct.
Uncle it isn't easy to be taking order from another human being when you have brain too. So pls hold fast to role as a man. Love, provide, take care of her. She will become vulnerable

Then let somethings slide too. Let her make her own decisions too once in a while. Not the one that you will choose everything for her including the dress she will wear, shoe, pant, hairstyle.

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by sunkieisland(m): 3:52pm On Jul 09, 2023

My advice is rather than giving your input as a way of giving direction, give her opinions/suggestions. If on more than 3 occasions, she discovers that your opinion was spot on, she will begin to value your opinion for direction.

She needs to be able to trust your opinion as guidance.

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Nobody: 3:55pm On Jul 09, 2023

Tell her you're tired of her game because of the negative effects it's causing that you're going fo divorce her.

She'll be the one that will beg you and change for the better.

In the event that she receives the information and she's still being stubborn, file for divorce immediately.

Don't worry about your children, you'll definitely have joint custody and continual fatherly support.

Do you know that most wives are the cause of theirs husbands death? Go check the statistics and see how 98% of husbands dies before their wives.

At this your young age, you don't need any HBP, stress, depression, stroke or death.

There are millions of single decent ladies in the market...Search and pick another one...You'll definitely be lucky.

Life's too short to be competing with a naggy and witchy wife.

Stop being a SIMP and take action.

2 Likes

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Orelafintun: 3:55pm On Jul 09, 2023

naice:
I find myself facing a difficult situation in my marriage and would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. The issue at hand revolves around my wife's unwillingness to listen to me. I'm at a loss as to why she behaves this way, and it's starting to take a toll on our relationship.

To provide some context, my wife has a strong-headed personality, which often leads to conflicts between us. No matter how gently I communicate my concerns or requests, she seems to disregard them and even does the opposite. This behavior frustrates me and leaves me questioning our compatibility.

One possible explanation I've considered is her background as an orphan. She lost her parents at a young age and had to take on the responsibility of caring for herself and her siblings. While I understand the challenges she faced, it seems like her self-reliance has translated into a resistance to accepting input or guidance from others, including me.

At this point, I have contemplated divorce, but there's a significant factor holding me back: our children. I love them deeply and cannot bear the thought of being separated from them. As much as her strong-headedness affects me, I firmly believe that domestic violence is never an option.

I'm reaching out to this community for reasonable opinions and advice on how to navigate this situation. Have any of you experienced a similar dynamic in your relationships? How did you cope with a spouse who doesn't listen? Are there effective strategies to foster better communication and understanding in such circumstances?

Thank you in advance for your support and guidance. Your insights will be invaluable in helping me make an informed decision about the future of my marriage."

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by lexy2014: 3:58pm On Jul 09, 2023

yrhuhfy113:

Oh no, if it was by your recent TOPIC, I would have excluded "WISE".
because whoever wants to sell KIDNEY is veryyyyyyy unwise

PLEASE SIR, IF YOUR BRAIN WAS WORKING AS YOU MAY PRIDE YOURSELF TO BE SMART OR SENSIBLE, you would know that MAKING MONEY TAKES JUST 5 THINGS.

1) PRACTICAL INFORMATION
2) ASSOCIATION OF USEFUL & RESOURCEFUL FRIENDS(you don't have o)
3) WELL CALCULATED RISKS (you jump into things without taking time to LEARN or UNDERSTAND)
4) DIVINE INTERVENTION OF GOD'S MERCY (your relationship with GOD is OFF n ON, you came from a family of spiritual battles and married a lady who came from a family too of spiritual attacks, and you think things will be ok? no nau)
5) RESILIENCE- The "NEVER GIVE UP" Spirit (I know things have been confusing and twisted and slow, but pls don't give up, GOD LOVES YOU)

That's all

How much money have you made from all the above?

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Orelafintun: 3:59pm On Jul 09, 2023

[quote author=Orelafintun post=124315095][/quote]
Things are happening.
I thought you are me because your story is similar to what is happening to me. Only difference is that she is helping me with my(our) business very well. God will continue to help men. Women are becoming disrespectful nowadays.

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by lexy2014: 3:59pm On Jul 09, 2023

yrhuhfy113:

NO WOMAN RESPECTS AND FOLLOWED THE INSTRUCTIONS OF A POOR WISE MAN

You need MONEY sir. That's all.

How did you arrive at the above conclusion?

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Adoyi87(m): 4:09pm On Jul 09, 2023

naice:
I find myself facing a difficult situation in my marriage and would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. The issue at hand revolves around my wife's unwillingness to listen to me. I'm at a loss as to why she behaves this way, and it's starting to take a toll on our relationship.

To provide some context, my wife has a strong-headed personality, which often leads to conflicts between us. No matter how gently I communicate my concerns or requests, she seems to disregard them and even does the opposite. This behavior frustrates me and leaves me questioning our compatibility.

One possible explanation I've considered is her background as an orphan. She lost her parents at a young age and had to take on the responsibility of caring for herself and her siblings. While I understand the challenges she faced, it seems like her self-reliance has translated into a resistance to accepting input or guidance from others, including me.

At this point, I have contemplated divorce, but there's a significant factor holding me back: our children. I love them deeply and cannot bear the thought of being separated from them. As much as her strong-headedness affects me, I firmly believe that domestic violence is never an option.

I'm reaching out to this community for reasonable opinions and advice on how to navigate this situation. Have any of you experienced a similar dynamic in your relationships? How did you cope with a spouse who doesn't listen? Are there effective strategies to foster better communication and understanding in such circumstances?

Thank you in advance for your support and guidance. Your insights will be invaluable in helping me make an informed decision about the future of my marriage."

Ask her to like and follow Jane Chuckwu on FB, then thank me later.

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Nobody: 4:09pm On Jul 09, 2023

If it works for you, then go for it.. grin

babamadiba:
Na silent treatment I use finish my wife. She got fed up with it and had no choice but to adjust.

1 Like

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Dshocker(m): 4:10pm On Jul 09, 2023

Samantha124:
I believe you know your wife very well, so I'd advice that you find her soft spot and use it against her, it works all the time.

I'm telling you this because I can be hard headed too...

So what is your soft spot?

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Nobody: 4:15pm On Jul 09, 2023

What was her reason for not paying? I mean why would she want to embarrass her children like that?

Didi2d:

Ok, let me give one instance.

I gave my wife part payment of my kids (2) school fees to go and pay.
Three weeks later I called the school so I can pay the balance, after doing so, the lady told to the money is not complete, I told her immediately that I have paid part of it before. But the woman said to who, how and when? And I got confused.
And I asked the woman to please give the phone to my daughter, only for me to discover nothing has been paid and I ask the woman to send my daughter home to go collect the money from her mom

To cut the long story, I discovered that my wife didn't pay the the money to the school as directed.

Some minutes later, I saw a call from my wife, but I didn't pick only for her to send me voice note with abuses from her.

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Nobody: 4:16pm On Jul 09, 2023

Study her and try another strategy, make her your homework... grin

chigoziri2403:

If she realises nko?

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Nobody: 4:17pm On Jul 09, 2023

Provide contest and give one or two examples.
For me when my wife agrees with me all the time, it makes me crazy, i love for her to come up with her own theories and conclusions.

1 Like

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Mom007(f): 4:20pm On Jul 09, 2023

Why do so called Christians always rush to divorce? I know u are a so called Christian Oga poster, prove me wrong. There are so many steps which you can initiate but you rush to contemplate divorce. Abeg go with your wahala mare, I hate nonsense.

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Nobody: 4:25pm On Jul 09, 2023

Promise her breakfast in bed or to help with house chores by maybe cooking for the next two days just so she could rest a bit, she'll soften up.

Or promise to take her to a beauty spar because every women likes it when her man spoils her a bit... You'll see, she'll soften up.

Lastborn0074:

Please give me an example

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Nobody: 4:29pm On Jul 09, 2023

Happy Sunday to you..🤣🤣🤣

Dshocker:

So what is your soft spot?

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Dshocker(m): 4:40pm On Jul 09, 2023

Samantha124:
Happy Sunday to you..🤣🤣🤣

Happy Sunday to you.

But you don't look like one with a strong headed behaviour, you look soft like a freshly baked bread grin

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Nobody: 4:42pm On Jul 09, 2023

Well, there's a time and a place for everything..

Dshocker:

Happy Sunday to you.

But you don't look like one with a strong headed behaviour, you look soft like a freshly baked bread

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