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How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Divoc19(f): 8:43am On Jul 10, 2023
Divorce does not mean your children with suffer. It simply means...
Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Miles7: 8:50am On Jul 10, 2023
saphiere:

1. You are a dictator. Unfortunately you got married to a stubborn person whom you can't control or dictate for. Since you cannot told her into your pocket has you men do, you become frustrated.

2. Of course she will do the opposite because what you want her to do is not to her benefits or the benefit of the children. Man is selfish by nature. So whatever you want her to do is not to her benefit. Just your selfish interest. Because I see no reason she will do the opposite.

3. Why do I feel you've been carrying out the domestic violence on her before now? Or you just want to do it and you're here to seek for validation?




Guys I need a job. Not easy to keep up with the life as a girl child. So many bills to pay.
Hair
Pads
Creame
Dresses
Food
Etc


Is this really sensible?
Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by blahc007: 11:29am On Jul 10, 2023
yrhuhfy113:


Oh no, if it was by your recent TOPIC, I would have excluded "WISE".
because whoever wants to sell KIDNEY is veryyyyyyy unwise


PLEASE SIR, IF YOUR BRAIN WAS WORKING AS YOU MAY PRIDE YOURSELF TO BE SMART OR SENSIBLE, you would know that MAKING MONEY TAKES JUST 5 THINGS.

1) PRACTICAL INFORMATION
2) ASSOCIATION OF USEFUL & RESOURCEFUL FRIENDS(you don't have o)
3) WELL CALCULATED RISKS (you jump into things without taking time to LEARN or UNDERSTAND)
4) DIVINE INTERVENTION OF GOD'S MERCY (your relationship with GOD is OFF n ON, you came from a family of spiritual battles and married a lady who came from a family too of spiritual attacks, and you think things will be ok? no nau)
5) RESILIENCE- The "NEVER GIVE UP" Spirit (I know things have been confusing and twisted and slow, but pls don't give up, GOD LOVES YOU)



That's all
Omo this your number 4 loud oo....😭....I'm very sensitive to that part....from a battled background into another bitter background..
Few survives such
Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by blahc007: 11:39am On Jul 10, 2023
atheistandproud:
Meh


Didn't you court her before marriage?

Please ladies and gentlemen, whatever red flags you see in courtship will not improve in marriage. They'll only get worse.
The comment I have been waiting for...

Mek e no be Like say ah too Sabi na why I never ask this question since, but on a norms, anytime I see issues like this....na this your question ah de first ask.

I dated a Lady like this em wife, omo nothing wey I de tell this girl wey she de do....it was frustrating because I too dey into this babe...she took advantage of my love for her to blackmail me emotionally....and she is even a single mum....kaii🤦....omo thank God I overcame...
Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by atheistandproud(m): 11:59am On Jul 10, 2023
blahc007:

The comment I have been waiting for...

Mek e no be Like say ah too Sabi na why I never ask this question since, but on a norms, anytime I see issues like this....na this your question ah de first ask.

I dated a Lady like this em wife, omo nothing wey I de tell this girl wey she de do....it was frustrating because I too dey into this babe...she took advantage of my love for her to blackmail me emotionally....and she is even a single mum....kaii🤦....omo thank God I overcame...


I had a girlfriend like that too. Initially she was very agreeable but as soon I took her home to see my mom and I spoke to her mother, she became something else.

She would fight me (verbally) at every turn. We would agree something, she would change her mind and implement changes without even consulting me. She would argue every point, fight for every dotted i's and crossed t's, challenge and second guess every decision.

Initially, her mom was like she's young and that she'll grow as she was 22 at the time. By the time she turned 25 and was even worse, I cut myself loose after a bitter argument about keeping males and exes as close friends. I had to mentally delete her number from my head and block her so that I wouldn't succumb to weakness and call. It's been 2 years now and bloody hell, that's the best thing I've done in the last 3 years.

Men know but we go dey form superman not knowing that we are dealing with very powerful beings. There are some things that Dem no dey manage for marriage.

3 Likes

Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by DrDunamis(m): 12:52pm On Jul 10, 2023
naice:
I find myself facing a difficult situation in my marriage and would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. The issue at hand revolves around my wife's unwillingness to listen to me. I'm at a loss as to why she behaves this way, and it's starting to take a toll on our relationship.

To provide some context, my wife has a strong-headed personality, which often leads to conflicts between us. No matter how gently I communicate my concerns or requests, she seems to disregard them and even does the opposite. This behavior frustrates me and leaves me questioning our compatibility.

One possible explanation I've considered is her background as an orphan. She lost her parents at a young age and had to take on the responsibility of caring for herself and her siblings. While I understand the challenges she faced, it seems like her self-reliance has translated into a resistance to accepting input or guidance from others, including me.

At this point, I have contemplated divorce, but there's a significant factor holding me back: our children. I love them deeply and cannot bear the thought of being separated from them. As much as her strong-headedness affects me, I firmly believe that domestic violence is never an option.

I'm reaching out to this community for reasonable opinions and advice on how to navigate this situation. Have any of you experienced a similar dynamic in your relationships? How did you cope with a spouse who doesn't listen? Are there effective strategies to foster better communication and understanding in such circumstances?

Thank you in advance for your support and guidance. Your insights will be invaluable in helping me make an informed decision about the future of my marriage."

Go for marriage guidance and counselling....
But wait ooh....
How did you guys even get married in the first place?
Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by felixxy(m): 3:58pm On Jul 10, 2023
naice:
I find myself facing a difficult situation in my marriage and would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. The issue at hand revolves around my wife's unwillingness to listen to me. I'm at a loss as to why she behaves this way, and it's starting to take a toll on our relationship.

To provide some context, my wife has a strong-headed personality, which often leads to conflicts between us. No matter how gently I communicate my concerns or requests, she seems to disregard them and even does the opposite. This behavior frustrates me and leaves me questioning our compatibility.

One possible explanation I've considered is her background as an orphan. She lost her parents at a young age and had to take on the responsibility of caring for herself and her siblings. While I understand the challenges she faced, it seems like her self-reliance has translated into a resistance to accepting input or guidance from others, including me.

At this point, I have contemplated divorce, but there's a significant factor holding me back: our children. I love them deeply and cannot bear the thought of being separated from them. As much as her strong-headedness affects me, I firmly believe that domestic violence is never an option.

I'm reaching out to this community for reasonable opinions and advice on how to navigate this situation. Have any of you experienced a similar dynamic in your relationships? How did you cope with a spouse who doesn't listen? Are there effective strategies to foster better communication and understanding in such circumstances?

Thank you in advance for your support and guidance. Your insights will be invaluable in helping me make an informed decision about the future of my marriage."

This is exactly what I am facing in my marriage, I have seen this signs in my wife before we got married, but I thought as time goes by she would change or reduce her strong -headedness. What I normally do is to give her nonchalant attitude, until she apologizes to me.
Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by laborious(m): 5:52pm On Jul 10, 2023
pacificom:
I am also experiencing similar situation. Most people will not really understand you on this platform and as a matter of fact, you don't really need to site any example cos it takes a man courage to bring his personal matter to public audience. Comparing my situation with yours as a co- adult victims, I can tell you that ladies from NO to BAD parental upbringing usually run husband mad . She is always right in her eyes and doesn't need a man to listen to. She will never like what is going on to be shared with a third party, and in that case a man will be dying in silence. It has nothing to do with how much you lavish money on such women. Brother she can't just stop it cos she lack every orientation that makes a woman to see their husband as a king to worship and obey. Meanwhile don't let this woman turn you into a woman beater, cos I know devil will help you drag the matter to the boxing ring. But try to give space and show less concern to her affairs. This may sound weird, but I will advise that you to have a girlfriend to make you happy for the sake of your happiness and mental fitness cos ladies like your wife will be far less romantic with you, and will leave most domestic responsibility to you cos she is a ladyboss. With children involved, divorce is not the answer. Continue to endure that situation, its your lifetime cross to carry, so that you can train your children and bring them up in a way that will make them to have a good future. Men whose wives listens and obeys them will never know how lucky they are because there are many ladies out there that are not wife materials at all; even church or mosque going ones. Good luck to you !
boss you finish talk, this is exactly a simple break down of what i am facing..i am still figuring how to live my life rn, my life has literally been on a stand still since my childs birth..make God help us sha
Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by blahc007: 6:46pm On Jul 10, 2023
atheistandproud:


I had a girlfriend like that too. Initially she was very agreeable but as soon I took her home to see my mom and I spoke to her mother, she became something else.

She would fight me (verbally) at every turn. We would agree something, she would change her mind and implement changes without even consulting me. She would argue every point, fight for every dotted i's and crossed t's, challenge and second guess every decision.

Initially, her mom was like she's young and that she'll grow as she was 22 at the time. By the time she turned 25 and was even worse, I cut myself loose after a bitter argument about keeping males and exes as close friends. I had to mentally delete her number from my head and block her so that I wouldn't succumb to weakness and call. It's been 2 years now and bloody hell, that's the best thing I've done in the last 3 years.

Men know but we go dey form superman not knowing that we are dealing with very powerful beings. There are some things that Dem no dey manage for marriage.
🤣🤣🤣omo...na this emotional attachment de mek guys De overlook things o
Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by atheistandproud(m): 7:07pm On Jul 10, 2023
blahc007:

🤣🤣🤣omo...na this emotional attachment de mek guys De overlook things o

I don overlook plenty but not anymore. Because at the end of the day, it is the man that's always at fault. Na you everyone go blame.
Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by pacificom: 3:26pm On Jul 11, 2023
laborious:
boss you finish talk, this is exactly a simple break down of what i am facing..i am still figuring how to live my life rn, my life has literally been on a stand still since my childs birth..make God help us sha

Divorce may sound like an option, but let it be the last result (unless infidelity is suspected ). A lot of couple experience this kind of problem in their marriages and it is definitely fixable. Meanwhile , I want you to create personal activities for yourself, expecially in the aspect of improving your financial status, socialize responsibly, and meet positive minded people as friends. i.e most men follows a footbal club and spend time in bars and watch centres. This will distract you away from your domestic problems and even make your wife to even miss your presence at home @ times. I believe that your wife too will change as maturity step up over time. Attitude is like a fume, it may fade off in future and both of you may see it as challenges of the past to laugh about. It's better to face this in the early stage of marital life, and settle for a happy future together. Lastly encourage family prayers where you can come together to share the word of God and pray together. Attending a living church on sundays and special programs for married couples can improve your understanding. Good luck !
Re: How To Cope When Your Spouse Doesn't Listen: Seeking Advice by Kobojunkie: 4:21pm On Jul 11, 2023
Divoc19:
Divorce does not mean your children with suffer. It simply means...

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