Some observations I have seen on this thread suggest that most people confuse the following:
1. Seperation with divorce
2. Being married and staying in a marriage.
3. Tribal world-view and ethnic bigotry.
4. Sampling and generalisation.
5. Marital essence and the essentials of mariage.

The above missed points have clouded the most of people's thoughts as reflected on the thread. If these continue I fear for the times we live in now.

I am a Yoruba BOY but not proud of the rate they divorced, it is even embarrasing and we youth have lost trust in marriages and whenever any marriages occur, we waited for the divorce perid

*As a Yoruba father because I gave my daughter out in marriage doesn't mean she's a slave or unwanted. So if you start abusing her I'll be glad to take her back rather have a living daughter than a dead one. Her bedroom still dey untouched for my house (People say that but makes sense). Cos they didn't sell their daughters like the igbos

*If you marry an igbo girl as a Yoruba guy you don jones. She'll still be f.uc.king igbo guys at the office and at every opportunity who says women dont cheat? Sit down put. Igbo's are very tribalistic people and you will come to know how they'll discriminate you even if you marry their daughter that doesn't change the fact that you are an "ofe nmanu". Even when within the igbo clans some forbid themselves for marriage.

* Igbo girls like money x 1,000,000,000,000. You go broke they'll start cheating for money outside seriously ( I know someone doing this)

* Igbo men do wait longer before getting married. Because they need save up huge bride price and all I think this is good in the sense that the men are more prepared than Yoruba guys that get married because they got a girl pregnant. Honestly I think Yoruba guys dont wanna really get married. Unless something conditional makes them to. Maybe family pressure, the girlfriend getting pregnant or some other things. They just wanna keep shining the shaki without the clause of marriage. Because na only Igbo boys I dey always hear wey go talk say he's dreaming about his wedding day etc.

I'm never attracted to Igbo girls! Never ever! Na them near akata pass for the country. Even na akata my papa dey call igbos. Them no get respect for themselves not to talk of you outsider. Do you know back in the days igbo's dont have rulers? They didn't have kings like the Yoruba and Benin's had for real. All they had was council of elders because nobody wanted one person to rule them. And you can still see that trend in the Igbo politics of today and their character. Igbo's are never submissive in nature. So stop that igbo submission thing.

Girls that are awesome to me are the Delta, Edo, Calabar girls. I for add Benin but them get ashewo small them dey fine die and no dey talk with those thick Igbo accents. Regardless she has to grow up in the city.

Well my friends brother wanted this Igbo girl and the the girl father said: "You know my daughter is a graduate which is not an easy thing, The bride price from my calculation is N1.5m (Like $10k)." I don die. Then the guy taught if he paid that how much left will he have to do the wedding itself and what wil dey do after wedding? Till date them never marry I guess they must have broken up I've not kept intouch

@Poster u are very right my guy,truth needs 2 be admitted irrespective of d people involved,its sumfin we all knw#gbam#,

your a bloody liar but if it did happen am sure nobody pointed a gun to his head, he must have been carried away by the beauty and charms of the igbo woman and i dont blame hime for i get carried away too.infact in most places they still pay bride price in cowries , some towns you pay 20 naira others 500 naira while some maybe 10,000 naira,that is chicken fee compared to how much many of you here spend weekly on your boyfriend/girlfriends or even on a one night stand or how much you spen balling in the club on a regular friday night.

I would have loved to respond to you, but I wont stoop to your level, it shows whether you could handle a conversation that requires a high level of intelligence,

Actually on all the 4 daughters of that family living in London 2 married Igbo men and the other 2 married Yoruba men and THEY ALL PAID BETWEEN £6700 - £7000 in bride price and this was around 2004-05, So dont ever come here and call anyone a liar. I deal with facts and not hot air!!!

ThiefOfHearts:

Now I know you are delusional.

Hate Yorubas all you want but everyone knows you leave our parties satisfied. You people dont even have food. all the food you have at your Kwenu parties are tied to Yoruba culture except for that abominatiion known as fufu that even your people dont serve in public due to shame.

Tell me when I want to see my friend at her parent's home, they served bootleg chinese rice wth bony chicken wings. So ashamed of their "food"

Come to my place and see if you wont burst from moinmoin, pounded yam, vegetable, chicken, fish, goat, ewa oloyin. My friend go and sit down!

HUNGRY PEOPLE 

That's why Igbo men are so mean and angry, cos they have no food of their own. ROFL 

Unless you are joking with the above claims, na which food Yoruba people get outside of Amala, Ewedu and Gbegiri?
Seriously, Igbo dishes will pale any Yoruba dish both in sheer number and taste. If actually you have Igbo friends, you wouls have known better than to make wild claims od Igbo men starving and all that crap. No be say mouth in comparison to Yoruba men, Igbo men are more family oriented and have a better sense of responsibilty towards their family men. And it is common dact that Yoruba men are the randiest Nigerian men. I can marry a Yoruba woman but I won't support any of my female relatives or sister to marry a Yoruba man, they are so randy and flirty even when they are married. I work with many of them in an environment with a lot of folks, virtually everyone of them has a girlfriend, including my very religious boss. It is a fact no be say na bashing, marriage to them is like boyfriend-girlfriend thing, they leave their marriages at the slightest hint of disagreement, except for the educated and religious ones, the majority of Yoruba men I know seriously show know sense of responsibility towards their childrien and the ones that happen to be well off, have a dozen concubine outside of wedlock. It is appalling to say the least. Igbo men are better marriage material than Yoruba men in every rammification. I would rather marry when I am financially able to take care of a family( old or not old, whay matters is the quality of childrien) than rush into it only to breed childrien that I have no plan to take care of, that is one thing yoruba people do that is increasing the rate of poverty amongst them even though a majority of them control the resources of Nigeria.

ThiefOfHearts:

Now I know you are delusional.

Hate Yorubas all you want but everyone knows you leave our parties satisfied. You people dont even have food. all the food you have at your Kwenu parties are tied to Yoruba culture except for that abominatiion known as fufu that even your people dont serve in public due to shame.

Tell me when I want to see my friend at her parent's home, they served bootleg chinese rice wth bony chicken wings. So ashamed of their "food"

Come to my place and see if you wont burst from moinmoin, pounded yam, vegetable, chicken, fish, goat, ewa oloyin. My friend go and sit down!

HUNGRY PEOPLE 

That's why Igbo men are so mean and angry, cos they have no food of their own. ROFL 

Unless you are joking with the above claims, na which food Yoruba people get outside of Amala, Ewedu and Gbegiri?
Seriously, Igbo dishes will pale any Yoruba dish both in sheer number and taste. If actually you have Igbo friends, you wouls have known better than to make wild claims od Igbo men starving and all that crap. No be say mouth in comparison to Yoruba men, Igbo men are more family oriented and have a better sense of responsibilty towards their family men. And it is common dact that Yoruba men are the randiest Nigerian men. I can marry a Yoruba woman but I won't support any of my female relatives or sister to marry a Yoruba man, they are so randy and flirty even when they are married. I work with many of them in an environment with a lot of folks, virtually everyone of them has a girlfriend, including my very religious boss. It is a fact no be say na bashing, marriage to them is like boyfriend-girlfriend thing, they leave their marriages at the slightest hint of disagreement, except for the educated and religious ones, the majority of Yoruba men I know seriously show know sense of responsibility towards their childrien and the ones that happen to be well off, have a dozen concubine outside of wedlock. It is appalling to say the least. Igbo men are better marriage material than Yoruba men in every rammification. I would rather marry when I am financially able to take care of a family( old or not old, whay matters is the quality of childrien) than rush into it only to breed childrien that I have no plan to take care of, that is one thing yoruba people do that is increasing the rate of poverty amongst them even though a majority of them control the resources of Nigeria.

ThiefOfHearts:

Okpara or whatever. Go and get someone to translate your garbage into English. Asinwin

abi o, Ogidi. I miss osisi. Seriously

Sorry Thiefofhearts in the real world we communicate, and im not surprised you couldnt flow with the trend(Your Yoruba and reading and comprehending the truth has being the weakest point of your lives) . Or is it that my factual sentences couldnt get into your thick skull. Either way im inclined to believe that with the kudos i got from my statements, i was writting in english, . No
Mugu what a Yoruba name to have(Thiefofhearts) Be looking for hearts to steal and dont look after yourself first and mind the way you talk.

What statistic do we have on this?. Personally I know that Igbos sees failed marriage as personal failure, both for the men and women. I know that when you want to marry in Igbo land, Your parents will definitely make inquiries about your spouse family, do they stay in marriage or not, and other things.

Then the issue of list and pride price, You can always negotiate the list and the pride price after the negotiation what ever you paid some will be returned back to you, to let you know that their daughter is not for sale, since you did not pay the full price. I want to believe that culture and religion plays important role in marriages. The western world still tops the chart when it comes to issue of divorce. The divorce is still minimal in Nigeria, its still the infiltration of foreign culture.

to be frank this is not entirely tribalistic, and has some truth in it if we are true to ourselves. It might have been more balanced if the poster used a more generalistic term. That said, I see the bigger argument here. Nigeria is not a country of statistics, and believe me it is costing us a great deal. There is so much information out there that can really help us devise sensible policies, but no one is actually taking notice.

back to the issue at hand. I remember visiting friends in Lagos as a teenager and was shocked at the number of parents that were either seperated or divorced, something which was alien to my part of the country, potentially one would argue that Lagos then was far more exposed then than other parts of the country. Even cult sitcoms like Mirror in the Sun, had a lot of disfucntional families then. there is really no conclusive evidence, but a finger in the air estimate would tilt towards the Yoruba's,

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^if igbo marriages are so perfect why are igbo men killing their igbo wives like crazy, you people are slow, no tribe is perfect: https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-776967.0.html

‘my Wife Attempted To Kill Me After I Caught Her In Bed With A Lover’
« on: January 27, 2010, 04:24 PM »




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was short of words after reading this piece i got from www.saharareporters.com.



•Man, poisoned, stabbed by adulterous wife, recounts ordeal.
“Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.” These words of William Congreve, an English poet and playwright who lived in 15th century came alive in Yalanguruza area of Gombe town recently when a young housewife attempted to take the life of

her husband of several years. Twenty-three-year-old Blessing Nkiluka Njoku, a mother of three, before her arrest and detention in prison for attempted murder, was said to have been caught pants down by Alex Njoku her husband in adulterous act with a male neighbour sometimes last year.

The guilt of that day never ceased to hunt her.
As expected, the development brewed serious domestic squable between the couple until Blessing decided on some sinister moves to end her hubby’s life.

She allegedly stabbed her husband several times, after a dose of food poison she administered on his food failed to accomplish its mission while a lethal injection awaited him.

Alex, a 35-year-old Gombe-based spare parts dealer, narrated his ordeal to the Nigerian Compass shortly after he was discharged from two separate hospitals where he underwent surgery due to internal bleeding.

It started with the betrayal that took place in his house in the early hours of that fateful Sunday.
Though still in pains despite spending some days in the hospital, the victim blamed the genesis of the problem that eventually took away the joy of his marriage to his then heartthrob consummated in 2003 on unfaithfulness. The latest in the series occurred a few months ago. It began as a rumour that one Chimezie Onosoreze, his neighbour, was having an affair with his wife.

Due to what he called blind love and caged trust, Alex said he initially waved it off as one of those petty gossips until a woman in the neighbourhood openly confronted Blessing with same allegation and also accusing him of marrying a LovePeddler. Alex was disappointed when his wife could not fight back. But with that, he started investigating the allegation to get to the roots of the matter.

The bubble eventually burst last August 28 as Alex made an unusual return to his house about 10.30 am and did not meet his wife. He said 10-year-old Anunche, his wife’s kid brother, living with them said that she had again gone to Onosoreze’s apartment.
He said he was shocked when he forced the neighbour’s door open.

“I met my wife and her lover stark Unclad, ostensibly after rounds of sex. Though I could not believe what I saw, I managed to muscle strength and descend on her, beating the hell out of her. That was the chance Onosoreze had to escape,” he narrated.

But unfortunately for Alex, that was just the beginning, as neighbours started gave him a list of men sharing his wife with him in the same street.
Though he still lives with the memory of that moment, Alex said that he never had any doubt in his mind that given enough time; he would forgive his wife at least for the sake of their lovely kids.

Because he wanted to save himself and his household from the embarrassment, he took steps to solve the problem internally. One of such was a meeting of a select elders and indigenes of their Oduma village in Anili Local Government Area of Enugu State.

The meeting prevailed on Alex not to go to the police station to arrest his wife’s lover, more so as she vehemently denied the allegation. However, the elders resolved that the couple should consult an oracle in Oduma village as insisted on by the husband where the truth would be revealed.
Though both of them commenced plans to go home for the oath-taking on an agreed date within the second week of January, since then there had been no love lost between them.

Alex also said that initially, he refused to eat or share the same room with Blessing thereafter. But the devil often has a way of playing his tricks. Alex was cajoled to have a taste of a special Garri and Egusi soup prepared for him by his wife just two days before their scheduled trip.

He said: “The moment I tasted that soup I knew something was wrong because it was better. I called one of my servants to bring his food for me to compare but the boy said my wife gave them a different meal. Then I saw the danger and pretended as if I was eating the food while I sent her on an errand.”

Though the poison did not kill him, it wreaked havoc on his system.
“The only thing I can remember was the moment I sat in the dinning, I only found myself in the bedroom weak, tired and sleeping deeply till the following morning,” he said.

Alex believed that Blessing might have helped him into the bedroom to make it look like he had died in his sleep overnight.
The effects of the poison also prevented the victim from partaking in the traffic control duty of the Living Faith Church, Gombe where the couple are both church workers.

Realising that the poison did not work, Blessing allegedly brought out a long knife called Ukah and stabbed her husband in the chest and lower abdomen. This dastardly act did not draw attention of neighbours as Alex claimed that she gagged him with cloths. After losing a lot of blood, he fell into coma. Thinking he had died, the mother of three who had earlier taken her kids to the children section of the church before carrying out her mission later escaped to the church where she was later picked up by the police.

Again, Alex miraculously survived the onslaught. The Power Holding Company of Nigeria (PHCN) restored power few minutes after he fainted and he was revived.

“The peaceful breeze from the ceiling fan blew me back to life as I opened my eyes and regained consciousness,” he said.
The next thing he could do was to reach out on phone to one Fidelis Udenta, a close friend. That one arrived a couple of minutes later and met his friend in a pool of blood, gasping for breath, while the main door was ajar.

Udenta called other neighbours who later drew the attention of police to the matter while the victim was taken to the nearest hospital.
According to police sources, a team of investigators that arrived the scene did not find it difficult to see lapses in what was meant to be an organised crime.

But after her arrest, Blessing allegedly confessed to the crime. She narrated how she had carefully planned to kill the man who married her just when she was 14. She also confessed that the only option that could prevent them from the oath-taking was for him to be dead since she was guilty of the accusation.

She also gave were details of how she hurriedly washed her face and hands of blood stains and left the door open for church to create confusion that he was killed by hired assassins from business partners.

Her next option, she said, was to inject him with a poisonous liquid chemical later found inside her fancy box. Though the chemical is still undergoing laboratory test to determine its content, the culprit gave details of how it was procured with the intention to infuse him with terminal ailment that will immediately incapacitate and prevent him from embarking on the proposed trip before ending his life slowly.

Alex said he had sent his three kids to the village since he did not want them to have first hand experience and details of what their mother did to him as it may affect them in future.

He blamed the whole thing on his aged mother who introduced him to Blessing when he went home for Christmas in 2002. He added that his mother had mounted pressure on him to settle down then even though he was 28 years and still wanted to search for the best. The outcome of the pressure, Alex argued, was his marriage to a woman who wanted to kill him, after sharing her body with several men in the neighbourhood.
Alex also expressed bitterness that Onosoreze had been release by the police on the ground that no offence could be pinned on him.

Police sources said that since there were neither evidences nor did Alex lodge official complaint the moment he caught him with his wife, it would amount to a waste of time to take Onosoreze to court on charges of adultery and conspiracy to commit murder. But the businessman said he had left his neighbour in the hands of God.

He, however, said he might engage the services of medical experts to confirm the paternity of his three kids.
The Gombe State Police Command spokesman, DSP Abdullahi Kamba, confirmed the incident.

He said the suspect did not spend long time in their custody before she was arraigned in court to face a one-count charge of attempt to commit culpable homicide.
Blessing is currently cooling her heels at Federal Prisons in Gombe on the order of a Magistrate's Court, pending further hearing,
tell us who is better now between igbo and yoruba women.

OkparaIgbo:

Sorry Thiefofhearts in the real world we communicate, and im not surprised you couldnt flow with the trend(Your Yoruba and reading and comprehending the truth has being the weakest point of your lives) . Or is it that my factual sentences couldnt get into your thick skull. Either way im inclined to believe that with the kudos i got from my statements, i was writting in english, . No
Mugu what a Yoruba name to have(Thiefofhearts) Be looking for hearts to steal and dont look after yourself first and mind the way you talk.

And people wonder why it's so easy for those outside of Nigeria to come back home and snatch jobs out of your hands

You call yourself a graduate?

You call that garbage above English?

That's coherent to you?

Embarrassing.

Rhymz, I dont know why you are writing an epistle

Im not gonna read it. Unlike you and your uptight brothers, Im not taking this pathetic thread seriously. So if you like continue foaming at the mouth like the hungry goat that you are

GO AND LOOK FOR FOOD. COMOT FROM MY SIDE. I know you people like human flesh but please leave me be!

One of the many things I cant stand about Igbo dudes. They have NO sense of humor. Jokes fly over their pointed heads 24/7. Igbo girls sef agree. You people arent amusing at all. Just angry egomanics with NO FOOD

omodoagba:

‘my Wife Attempted To Kill Me After I Caught Her In Bed With A Lover’

•Man, poisoned, stabbed by adulterous wife, recounts ordeal.
“Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.” These words of William Congreve, an English poet and playwright who lived in 15th century came alive in Yalanguruza area of Gombe town recently when a young housewife attempted to take the life of
her husband of several years. Twenty-three-year-old Blessing Nkiluka Njoku, a mother of three, before her arrest and detention in prison for attempted murder, was said to have been caught pants down by Alex Njoku her husband in adulterous act with a male neighbour sometimes last year.

this is the funniest story ever!
poisioned, stabbed, cheated on and this man still survives?

how many lives has he got?

Fakaay you re a proper M U M U, how many states ve u visited nd how many tribes ve u stayed with, ur wowo mouth like opioro mango,

neey1051:

Fakaay you re a proper M U M U, how many states ve u visited nd how many tribes ve u stayed with, your wowo mouth like opioro mango,

you are a Arrow!

ThiefOfHearts:

Rhymz, I dont know why you are writing an epistle

Im not gonna read it. Unlike you and your uptight brothers, Im not taking this pathetic thread seriously. So if you like continue foaming at the mouth like the hungry goat that you are

GO AND LOOK FOR FOOD. COMOT FROM MY SIDE. I know you people like human flesh but please leave me be!

One of the many things I cant stand about Igbo dudes. They have NO sense of humor. Jokes fly over their pointed heads 24/7. Igbo girls sef agree. You people arent amusing at all. Just angry egomanics with NO FOOD

You are a senile BIMBO with a Bigoted sense of HUMOUR. You can fool the less discerning with all that nonsense yarns about humouring yourself in your last post but don't expect everyone to be decieved by your ill-concieved humour and false pretence of taking things lightly. Some of us understand the antics of your so-called sarcasm and lame humour, your method is stale and redundant go find another hook to cover up your vailed bigotry. I wonder how many of your tribes people here have taken the intent of the thread at face value and proceed to laugh it off as a mere joke designed to make them laugh without actually resorting to throwing temper tantrums like spoilt brats.
Abeg shut up your mouth jare if you have run short of what to post, so much for claims of making light of the situation yet you answer every tom dick and harry with strong words. I bet Miss Jester can't stand it when she is on the recieving end of her own repertoire of ill-concieved sarcasm and sardonic way of reasoning.

omar22:

I would have loved to respond to you, but I wont stoop to your level, it shows whether you could handle a conversation that requires a high level of intelligence,

Actually on all the 4 daughters of that family living in London 2 married Igbo men and the other 2 married Yoruba men and THEY ALL PAID BETWEEN £6700 - £7000 in bride price and this was around 2004-05,  So dont ever come here and call anyone a liar. I deal with facts and not hot air!!!

like i said before, your a bloody liar besides what is stopping your friend from getting a wife from his own place? whats the obsessing for igbo girls ? dont you people have women in your place? nobody forced you to get an igbo wife so stop complaining and spreading lies and rumours.na who born dat your friend ,do you know igbo fathers sponsor most of the marriages these days the idunno they do(farwell gifts which most tiem includes lands, cars share certificates etc) will be enough to feed your  hungry friend for the rest of his life. if you know whats good for you better go and marry and igbo woman so you can enjoy like the rest of us that did.

^^^^^^^^^^if igbo men are enjoying their life by marrying igbo women then why are the killing their wives like crazy: https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-776967.0.html

I dnt think comparing the marriages of the two tribes is a great idea.

Ybutterfly:

^^^^^^^^^^if igbo men are enjoying their life by marrying igbo women then why are the killing their wives like crazy: https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-776967.0.html

i have no time for children, when you have something reasonable to say maybe i will respond.

Ybutterfly:

^^^^^^^^^^if igbo men are enjoying their life by marrying igbo women then why are the killing their wives like crazy: https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-776967.0.html

abeg I already told you. NA HUNGER! A HUNGRY man is an ANGRY man

^^^^^^^^^To: the tribe of perfect marriages,^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ stop killing your wives

the rate of divorce is alarming these days and i can say that it is caused by lack of true love and infidelity in addition to financial hardships but these should not be good excuses for divorce. if observe trends, most part ways for reasons that are not tangible enough

born2fuck:

I am a Yoruba BOY but not proud of the rate they divorced, it is even embarrasing and we youth have lost trust in marriages and whenever any marriages occur, we waited for the divorce perid

So true the divorce rate is alarming.

I think it is due to the level of exposure and sophistication among Yoruba people.

You hardly find a conservative Yoruba woman these days.

Yoruba Ronu.

lol @ alarming

How is it affecting your life?

Born2fuck aka walestar came out of p.ornography section to contribute to the thread.

I guess the op is his buddy cos i cant think of any other explanation.

coogar:



[tr]you are a Arrow!

[/tr]

wetin concern my own with u, u dey craze?

neey1051:

wetin concern my own with u, u dey craze?

i humbly reiterate, you are a twunt!

The tribal warlords will have a field day here,

Crazy thread. But seriously though, yoruba's are very liberal when it comes to marriage. All children are treated equal in the house. Girls are not seen as property to be given away, even when the parents die they are equally entitled to their father's property. This is not the case with Igbo's.  With Yoruba's even if she is married, she is still a child of her father's house. If you maltreat her the father will take her back. They also keep rooms for all their children in their family houses. This is why when they dont want to collect bride price and tell you to donate bible, you get suspicious. They are telling you that the two families are only coming together, they are not giving anybody away. . I think Yoruba women are far more liberated.