Filmdirect:
You have a right to concern. Most people here don’t understand marriage and treat their wives or understand their wives through lenses of antagonism, rivalry. God never blesses such and many times after the man dies those left behind struggle deeply. I was married, my name is on everything, he died…I’m managing everything the best I can for our children.

It’s a shame when men don’t realize their role as divider AND protector. How do you protect your wife and family after death if you exclude them from properties? We will all die. We like to think we will be old, but death can come earlier. In addition, many don’t have wills.

From the responses here we have a society where the meaning of marriage is lost to many. Wives are treated as the enemy and property, and with this, trust, respect, and companionship will not be enjoyed in that home. Instead, because there is an inner need for intimacy within every human being, a man will seek that outside not realizing that he as the head contributes to what he lacks inside his home. God’s order is from the head down. If the head leads wrongly his house will suffer, now and fatter his death.

You have a right as a wife, not a servant or girlfriend or mistress to want to be included on that land. Marriage is not your thing or my thing or my money or your money. It is the two shall be one. Anything that is not in line with that commandment opens the door to the fruit of rebellion and disobedience; strive, distrust, cheating, disunity etc. look at what his actions have sprouted in your family; accusations, pain, distrust.

The seed has been planted by the head. Just be wise going forward. Tell him why you feel the way you do and if he still doesn’t care, slowly get your own assets just in case.

It’s sad.

Very apt.

Any man that love his wife, trust his wife and care for his wife must learn how to do things together with that woman. I pray nothing happens to the man, if the man dies, it is members of his family that will send the woman parking from her husband house because of property. None will think that she gave birth to 3 boys for the man. For future and security sake, the man didn't do well by buying land with his name only. I built 2 properties with my name and that of my wife. This breeds trust and love. When the Man's family sees that he does things together with his wife, they know that they can't try any funny things with the woman even after his death. We've been hearing of stories of family members chasing away women from their matrimonial homes because of property. Let the man go and make amends. You are on course madam
[

Ijelenwanyioma:
I am legally married to this man and we have 3 sons together. Recently he purchased some land which he actually told me about but when I checked the documents of all the land I only saw Mr(his name in full) and not Mr & Mrs (his name and surname) or Mr (his name ) and Mrs (My name ). This really gave me great concern and when I asked him, he told me it doesn't really count because the properties also belong to my children. Later he started accusing me that I am nursing ulterior motive in my heart and maybe I want to take over the properties which is blantly lies. I just want to feel ownership of the land too

Please am I overreacting on this issue truly or my husband is planning something behind me ( maybe remarrying)

I don't think you should bother over that except you have an ill-motive. Your greatest concern should be to fight for your marriage/children, not some kinda selfish interest.

You shouldn't have asked o, he'll Start looking at you one kain one kain and even hiding things from you.

Filmdirect:
You have a right to concern. Most people here don’t understand marriage and treat their wives or understand their wives through lenses of antagonism, rivalry. God never blesses such and many times after the man dies those left behind struggle deeply. I was married, my name is on everything, he died…I’m managing everything the best I can for our children.

It’s a shame when men don’t realize their role as divider AND protector. How do you protect your wife and family after death if you exclude them from properties? We will all die. We like to think we will be old, but death can come earlier. In addition, many don’t have wills.

From the responses here we have a society where the meaning of marriage is lost to many. Wives are treated as the enemy and property, and with this, trust, respect, and companionship will not be enjoyed in that home. Instead, because there is an inner need for intimacy within every human being, a man will seek that outside not realizing that he as the head contributes to what he lacks inside his home. God’s order is from the head down. If the head leads wrongly his house will suffer, now and fatter his death.

You have a right as a wife, not a servant or girlfriend or mistress to want to be included on that land. Marriage is not your thing or my thing or my money or your money. It is the two shall be one. Anything that is not in line with that commandment opens the door to the fruit of rebellion and disobedience; strive, distrust, cheating, disunity etc. look at what his actions have sprouted in your family; accusations, pain, distrust.

The seed has been planted by the head. Just be wise going forward. Tell him why you feel the way you do and if he still doesn’t care, slowly get your own assets just in case.

It’s sad.

Wait a minute, are you saying you know the woman more than her husband? That man has his reasons for that, inasmuch as we haven't heard from the man this your sermon isn't necessary.

Women are manipulative, they're expert in gathering pity party, I refuse to fall for their manipulative acts.

frozen70:


To be honest, if the money he use in buying the land is his money only, he has the right to write any ones name, he can even choose to put his mother's name as he so wishes

But if you contributed a percentage to the money, thats when your demand will be authorized

Now the real issue

Both of you don't usually communicate as couple and discuss together on family issues thats why he didn't care to ask you what name to put on the land and you didn't ask him what name is he putting there

However, so far he carried you along before the purchase and after the purchase he has done what is expected of him

What next
The next thing is to start discussing ideas on what building plans he has in mind

Is it for private or For commercial

This are the issues you have to be sharing with him, that will bring a synergy to both of you

As far as he is still alive that land belongs to you and him,
But I can't really say what will be if he is not there

If he had wanted to actually involve you, he would have handed that land documents over to you, whether your name is there or not
Just for you to keep it for safe keeping since you are couples

But there is a limit to what you can drag with him over that purchase and if he doesn't give you the documents to keep or you don't know where he kept the documents, then he must have given it to his family members to keep

So may God keep both of you alive to build and live there peacefully

Just relax and keep loving him ans take care of the family together

He may not even have any hidden agenda
But you can't really tell

Yes you have three boys for him, you are not in his mind and can't say what is in his mind

But we hope it comes out positive

With below comment, your first opinion contradict your further statement Both of you don't usually communicate as couple and discuss together on family issues thats why he didn't care to ask you what name to put on the land and you didn't ask him what name is he putting there

If only she has met the first condition To be honest, if the money he use in buying the land is his money only, he has the right to write any ones name, he can even choose to put his mother's name as he so wishes

Emanodimo:


With below comment, your first opinion contradict your further statement Both of you don't usually communicate as couple and discuss together on family issues thats why he didn't care to ask you what name to put on the land and you didn't ask him what name is he putting there

If only she has met the first condition To be honest, if the money he use in buying the land is his money only, he has the right to write any ones name, he can even choose to put his mother's name as he so wishes

We have couples who leave together yet don't discuss issues like this for reasons best known to them

So many couples are not relating as expected yet the ma still carry out his responsibilitys at home but both if them knows that there is no synergy

The main issue here is that the man bought a land which he informed her about it

So since he didn't include her name
Did he give her the documents to keep
Did he keep the documents at home

If yes then no issues
If no, then e get as e bi

But so far the man is still living they both owns it

CLATHRIN:


Make him shaa write will, that is the most important for me. As a man, he has to write a will that includes you and his kids.

As I dey, I no fit marry person wey I no fit trust to write her name for will even if say na one plot of land I get.

What are you saying? His will... Will be read after he's dead. That is when he is gone.

Read your message again then read this my answer.

Ijelenwanyioma:
I am legally married to this man and we have 3 sons together. Recently he purchased some land which he actually told me about but when I checked the documents of all the land I only saw Mr(his name in full) and not Mr & Mrs (his name and surname) or Mr (his name ) and Mrs (My name ). This really gave me great concern and when I asked him, he told me it doesn't really count because the properties also belong to my children. Later he started accusing me that I am nursing ulterior motive in my heart and maybe I want to take over the properties which is blantly lies. I just want to feel ownership of the land too

Please am I overreacting on this issue truly or my husband is planning something behind me ( maybe remarrying)

Madam how much did you contributed in buying the said properties?

All my properties including the car i bought for my wife bears only my name.

I

Ijelenwanyioma:
I am legally married to this man and we have 3 sons together. Recently he purchased some land which he actually told me about but when I checked the documents of all the land I only saw Mr(his name in full) and not Mr & Mrs (his name and surname) or Mr (his name ) and Mrs (My name ). This really gave me great concern and when I asked him, he told me it doesn't really count because the properties also belong to my children. Later he started accusing me that I am nursing ulterior motive in my heart and maybe I want to take over the properties which is blantly lies. I just want to feel ownership of the land too

Please am I overreacting on this issue truly or my husband is planning something behind me ( maybe remarrying)

too much Nollywood and negative thoughts have destroyed most of you......theres nothing bad in what he did ...the fact that you take it as big deal shows you need Help ....

He informed you himself ....he didn't hide anything

Tfinal:
I regret everything.

No room for regret. You cannot be sorry for your kindness. It is he that needs to sorry for his greed. If you are not happy. Leave him. Many women make the mistake of never finding someone else because they have children or older. Men don't really care about that now. The world has matured. That doesn't stop you from loving your children. Take your land. You can leave the supermarket for him. Start afresh and be happy. Never live in regrets. Life is too short!

Ijelenwanyioma:
I am legally married to this man and we have 3 sons together. Recently he purchased some land which he actually told me about but when I checked the documents of all the land I only saw Mr(his name in full) and not Mr & Mrs (his name and surname) or Mr (his name ) and Mrs (My name ). This really gave me great concern and when I asked him, he told me it doesn't really count because the properties also belong to my children. Later he started accusing me that I am nursing ulterior motive in my heart and maybe I want to take over the properties which is blantly lies. I just want to feel ownership of the land too

Please am I overreacting on this issue truly or my husband is planning something behind me ( maybe remarrying)

THIEF!!!

Ijelenwanyioma:

He bought it with his money. I didn't contribute to it and even when I offered to give him at least a million (just want my money to be part of it) he said I shouldn't worry

this ur reply alone says alot Abt you.Sha dey calm down

bonnyhope:


Are you aware that everything you own including yourself belong to your husband

Same applies to him

How much did you contribute to deserve having your name included in the receipt

As u are legally married to your husband with 3 boys, you have nothing to worry about.... My mum legally married with 5 girls initially, was NEVER worried even at this initial stage.

I am appalled with the reasoning of Nairaland boys: Must she contribute financially for her to have a say in her home? She has already contributed in kind to her man and home, abi if the man wanted to pay a surrogate to give birth to 3 boys, u can imagine how much he will pay apart from other things.... That is why when things are somehow in the home, divorce cases makes the woman sue the man in millions because of all she has contributed in the life of the man as the man would have one way or the other incapacitated her all the while she carried pregnancies and delivered.

For those in SS/SE we all know that your wife is your Obiageli when she is married, so I don't understand all this strange, immature question to her. The insult on women on this forum is too much.

If your husband is trustworthy and has only one family, u have nothing to worry because even if anything happens, a Letter of Administration etc covers it all.... U are the Legal wife....2nd wife will only benefit more if there is a will covering her and her kids..... Sometimes, will can work for/ against you.

Ijelenwanyioma:
I am legally married to this man and we have 3 sons together. Recently he purchased some land which he actually told me about but when I checked the documents of all the land I only saw Mr(his name in full) and not Mr & Mrs (his name and surname) or Mr (his name ) and Mrs (My name ). This really gave me great concern and when I asked him, he told me it doesn't really count because the properties also belong to my children. Later he started accusing me that I am nursing ulterior motive in my heart and maybe I want to take over the properties which is blantly lies. I just want to feel ownership of the land too

Please am I overreacting on this issue truly or my husband is planning something behind me ( maybe remarrying)

You are not wrong. But there is a good reason for writing his name alone. He should have explained to you very well. For example, it is always very difficult to process land documents with two names as Mr and Mrs if you want to authenticate ownership.
It's one reason those who know about the intricacies will tell you to use one name. Don't be scared. Na you and him get am with the children. You hear

God bless you.

Hello, pls did you contribute money to the land? What an audacity, it's not your fault, it's dumb Nigerian men that caused this. He deserves it, must have promised you heaven and earth before you 'pitied' him and married him, moronic husband

Vex buy your own land ,even if it's in the village.

They've been singing it since , that a wife is not their family member ...

You better start saving your money to better your life , this man will shock you with a 2nd wife soonest..

Somebody should ask her if her money was included in the purchase of the land

Kobojunkie:
So the marriage na business partnership after all since you believe she is only entitled if she is a contributing partner?

Don't twist my comment oh. If she contributed part of the money for the purchase, it will be unfair if her name is committed then she can worry but if she didn't contribute anything she shouldn't worry afterall what belongs to her husband is equally hers

FrancisDiote:
■ Don't twist my comment oh. If she contributed part of the money for the purchase, it will be unfair if her name is committed then she can worry but if she didn't contribute anything she shouldn't worry afterall what belongs to her husband is equally hers

So she has to contribute her fair share in order to be entitled to the proceeds hence it is a business agreement, right?

Kobojunkie:
So the marriage na business partnership after all since you believe she is only entitled if she is a contributing partner?

Well, marriage isn't a business partnership.
By your notion of marital property but not extended to be a contributing partner for an asset to be jointly owned, much that you have distinguish an asset from phone sub. So, on what ground does the share entitlement stands on? Even a dormant partner is oblige to contribute its quota, bound by the action of an active partner.
The grace factor here is the loophole in law, that aim to balance issues but rather shift the pole as it is being fine tune to suit.

Emanodimo:
■ Well, marriage isn't a business partnership.
By your notion of marital property but not extended to be a contributing partner for an asset to be jointly owned, much that you have distinguish an asset from phone sub. So, on what ground does the share entitlement stands on? Even a dormant partner is oblige to contribute its quota, bound by the action of an active partner.
■ The grace factor here is the loophole in law, that aim to balance issues but rather shift the pole as it is being fine tune to suit.

■ I don't follow at all! This is not a court session but a discussion on a forum. The property in question was purchased during the marriage and so is considered marital property. Full stop!

2 abegi!

Kobojunkie:
So she has to contribute her fair share in order to be entitled to the proceeds hence it is a business agreement, right?

You can interpret the way you like

FrancisDiote:
You can interpret the way you like

Interprete ke? You keep insisting that for her to be entitled to marital property she has to at least have contributed financially to the acquisition of the property meaning you believe marriage is a business agreement. If she can only benefit only if she made some considerable contribution then what else can it be ? This is economics 101 stuff here.

Kobojunkie:
So she has to contribute her fair share in order to be entitled to the proceeds hence it is a business agreement, right?

Marriage is a form of partnership that couples agreed to that what a spouse bring or receive are often unequal yet they come together to build or contribute to their marital success in every form.

Ijelenwanyioma:
I am legally married to this man and we have 3 sons together. Recently he purchased some land which he actually told me about but when I checked the documents of all the land I only saw Mr(his name in full) and not Mr & Mrs (his name and surname) or Mr (his name ) and Mrs (My name ). This really gave me great concern and when I asked him, he told me it doesn't really count because the properties also belong to my children. Later he started accusing me that I am nursing ulterior motive in my heart and maybe I want to take over the properties which is blantly lies. I just want to feel ownership of the land too

Please am I overreacting on this issue truly or my husband is planning something behind me ( maybe remarrying)

You're overreacting. Stop being petty, referring to your hubby as "this man" shows the kind of woman you are.

Why the unnecessary worries, except you have skeleton in your cupboard and you ve be taking advice from those that will turn your home upside down

Emanodimo:
■ Marriage is a form of partnership that couples agreed to that what a spouse bring or receive are often unequal yet they come together to build or contribute to their marital success in every form.

Interesting! So you do see marriage as a business agreement then!

And you do agree that both partner contribute their fair share as agreed by the couple, so what are you now saying?

Kobojunkie:
■ I don't follow at all! This is not a court session but a discussion on a forum. The property in question was purchased during the marriage and so is considered marital property. Full stop!

2 abegi!

🙂🙂🙂....I quite agreed to the coined *marital property*, when the woman has contributed towards same asset...

Emanodimo:
■ 🙂🙂🙂....I quite agreed to the coined *marital property*, when the woman has contributed towards same asset...

The law does not add need for special contributions since the marriage agreement is what establishes marital property.