olanajim:

I went to the extent of depicting the story for purpose. I am sure it would help a little.


Babeelove,
why do you always call me prof.? I beg don't let my people hear that o.

On a serious note, you spoke my mind though partially. And that is on job.

The lady should resolve to get job no matter how little she earn. That way, SHE AND HER CHILDREN WOULD NOT GO HUNGARY.

Next, she should begin a process toward her[b] financial independence.[/b]

She must watchout for her husband activities and be very careful ( i don't how she can do this) lest the man bring STI home for her. That is my major concern.

I don't know her age and her mental state, I cannot therefore say more than this. I leave the rest for others.


I noticed she stay abroad, I am not commenting on that too unless I have a one on one dialogue with her. It is very dangerous to give advice on divorce on forum without direct contact with the victim and without evident facts.

I must say that I have seen someone who had successfully pass through similar stage without going through divorce. Today her husband is now humble and subservient to her authority without her lifting a finger or doing any harsh thing. The key to that woman success was economic domination. She put her head in her work, ignored the man and gave the kids good education.

Today, the kids don't even want to see their dad while he begs! The man ran himself aground and lost his fortune.

The are all alive today, still one family with the woman calling the shots!

Na you talk am!!!!

I call you Proff because ya "tin" too dey long-----------with plenty 'Splanations!!!!

I agree with you ke! The woman no get work!!!



<sub>Me still prefer the "handsome driver" option----- make a teach am lesson small----- the STD

matter--as long as you are intimate with anybody--don't marrrrrrrrrrrrrra who irrrrrrrrrrrrrris--

you are at risk!!! We will have to deal with that when we are crossing that bridge!!!!</sub>

BABEELOVE:


SHURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT UP!!!!!!!!!!! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

_{(I am not insultin' you oh!--just ghetto, 2 cents, hoody language expression for get ourrra here or are you serious?---before you begin curse me--oh)}

You don't mean it!!!! Anyway I am not surprised. I actually thought this was happening in Nigeria somewhere in Etiti or Bariga somewhere over there. Some of our people are so timid--despite living abroad for so long---the[b] "aboad"[/b] can not penetrate their psyche! These are the ones that jump from tropical food marts to tropical food marts purchasing the cheapest "okporoko" to make soup. Siddon for house breeding like rabbits--no school, no job!!! One of our akata abi na Jammo sisters don nab the dude!!!!! ----they give am the correct thing!!!!

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! E don happen!!!! I love it!!! Infact a no pity am! Make she cry buckets-----------village wife for abroad!!! Arangeeeeeeeeeee wife!!!!! This na mail-order bride!!! he he he he he he he!!!! Nonsense---I am happy to announce to you that you do not have a marriage----so please purchase tickets and head back to Nigeria--where you belong--- for you are too "bush" to take advantage of the "coping or defensive" mechanisms the almighty white man has made available at your disposal!!!! Ye ye woman!!!!

you are such a fool, did you think is easy,pls say something else plssssssssssssssss

Babeelove,
Go ahead. Call me proff! Na you know.

As for tha Driver option, I am not with you. I would only agree if you can provide the prove that you have tried it and it worked like magic. I must set my eyes on the driver.

I alsn want you to marry this year to see what marrital wahala look like. I understand you got too many applications than you need. Why not engage my mirror to screen them for you? You won't be disappointed.

hi,

Linapeace,

4 starters mariage isnt an easy thing,

if u can remeber am sure when u got married ,way back, everybody was saying u should b pateint with each other,

Normally that is d first n most important advice, that is very useful in a marriage.

To be frank wit u, its alwayz very hard for a Man to forget his former affiars,especially if he was very close n emotionally attached to d lady.

but d only way u can make u forget d other lady(EX), just pretend you're nt d jealous type in front of him, when he is talkin about her,

N pray , to GOD ,because the ALMIGHTY can erase her memory from his mind n make him cherish u,

Finnally b a caring n pampering wife to your husband, make him want to b with u always, I am very sure he will b urs 4 eva, Ameen.

pray hard GOD wil ans your prayers believe mi, cheers

linapeace:

you are such a fool, did you think is easy,please say something else plssssssssssssssss

Me be fool?  Don't go and solve your problems---you think we do not know that it is you!!! Village/abroad wife!!!!  You think that all problems are solved by widening your "thigh master" without planning?  I have said ma piece--you are the one with the man problem not me.  Abeg go siddon for potty---Na only you get yansh?  You no even sabi use am!!! Mumu!!!!   No go find work!!! Your husband dey for ma house right now!!!

olanajim:

Babeelove,
Go ahead. Call me proff! Na you know.

As for tha Driver option, I am not with you. I would only agree if you can provide the prove that you have tried it and it worked like magic. I must set my eyes on the driver.

I alsn want you to marry this year to see what marrital wahala look like. I understand you got too many applications than you need. Why not engage my mirror to screen them for you? You won't be disappointed.

You wan try me?  I wish you knew.  I am not looking for a husband! I get!!! I just need some correct one-night stands only to keep ma battery fully charged--------at all times!!!!

My name no be BABEE "Adanna" Love for nothing oh!---The original love babeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.  Look, ma mama train me well on how to keep man for house while "scouting" for spare parts!!!  You no know nathing!!!!   If I can operate like this on Nairaland--you can only imagine what I do at home---ye ye people---una go divorce tire!!!!

Abeg carry go with this bush woman!!!!

@ olanajim. I'm not putting all Nigerian men into this. It's just that everyones experience seems to be negative and I'd like to hear some positive ones. I'm not searching for anything, I'm just concerned for my sisters, that's all.

Women who meet good guys are not necessarily the type of women who frequent internet forums hence you may not hear the positive ones from an internet forum.

I know you are married, at least I had bee told. I am also familiar with your language. But my own is: why must you always be nasty on nairaland regardlesr of the topic? I would suggest you learn to vary your wit. You never can tell who is picking it up.

By the way is that name Adanna or Adama?

And don't take the "battery chargers" "one night stand" serious. It can be dangerous for someone with such a sound ideology as yours. I strongly believe you are living your creed that is why I always respect you. But,

@ babeelove
i too feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel u.

marriages these days are tagged for ''better for stay'' for ''worst for go''
yes o.


na  real wa oooooooooooooooooo
for this generation,, person still dey do full house wife,na wa o.earn a degree if u no get one .part times studies are available,get learned men n knw ur ''RIGHT''.

please oo is the poster complaining or just sharing her life time experiences hmmmmm

olanajim:

I know you are married, at least I had bee told. I am also familiar with your language. But my own is: why must you always be nasty on nairaland regardlesr of the topic? I would suggest you learn to vary your wit. You never can tell who is picking it up.

By the way is that name Adanna or Adama?

And don't take the "battery chargers" "one night stand" serious. It can be dangerous for someone with such a sound ideology as yours. I strongly believe you are living your creed that is why I always respect you. But,

Who is being nasty---I am just playing with the poster oh! If you know you are sensitive why come to Nairaland when you know what goes on here?  Is the poster a child?  Nothing like some home truth.  My name is[b] A-d-a-n-n-a----------- [/b] not Adama!--- No Shaking!!!!   Na you sabi-----------and you dey for Nairaland? At least I know myself!!!  Pleezzzzzzzzzzz, preach to those who cannot even spell their names.  A dey go sleep.  As you can see I have a full time job--besides a family!

@ crazykid,
I can't but agree with you. I sympathise with the lady incolved, but i believe she must have seen warning signals before getting herself entangled with this guy.

people should always look before they leap. if the poster has actually looked deeply before getting into the relationship, she would ve sensed that ALL THAT GLITTERS IS NOT GOLD. its a lesson to others. marriage is a serious spiritual action, hence, it needs GOD's guidance;seek it with sincre mindset. There are no perfect marriages thou, but while some are enjoying it, most people are enduring theirs. You have a choice. Most marriages lacks solid foundation,hence, they have already collapsed even during courtship. She should get closer to GOD, pray and believe that his hubby too will follow suit very soon.She can only pray!!!!we should join her in it too.

mellow:



@ bebeelove

you are a girl after my own heart but I still believe at times

you have to ease up. I still feel you though.

@ topic

I never believe in for better or for worse and will never do but

I am going to work real hard to make my marriage a blissful and

memorable one and after all said and done the better we stay for worse

all man find him level.

@Poster

Tell the victim that she should put her kids in a foster home and find her level.

Marriage is to be enjoyed not endured. She doesn't want her kids to experience a broken home

but what home is there when the father is transfering all love there is to his ex wife? Let them

be there and taking care of while she take care of herself till she meets a man such as yours

sincerely.[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000]

Please give me suggestions on how to ease up on "stupidity"!!!! I am listening!!!


_{Gosh I hate weaklings!!!!}

@BABEELOVE

is there any particular reason you are not proud of your face in the pic on your profile

just be patient and prayerful there is nothing that pass prayer.!
  i want you to know that there is nothing human being can do for you , the highest thing they can do is to pity you, and remember you are not to be pited u are to be envy, so,let god have his way!

dearstan:

@BABEELOVE

is there any particular reason you are not proud of your face in the pic on your profile

I think you have seen enough of ma face---I am now concentrating on the "arse--ssets" which are for sale!!!

_{Na face you go chop?}

AM SO IMPRESSED WITH THE CONTRIBUTIONS ERE,A GOOD COMBINATION OF HUMOR,INTELLIGENCE,N D REST.

@POSTER
WISH I COULD HELP U WITH ANOTHER ADVISE,BUT I THINK THE WOMAN SHOULD GET TO WORK,MAYB SHE CAN BE INDEPENDENT N TRY 2 DIVORCE,D MAN MAY COME BEGGIN HER.

@PAMMDI
U REALLY GOT IT ALL,GIRLS ALWAYS LOOK 4 SUPERMEN BUT WE GO DEY TRY 2 REPRESENT DAT FAKE IMAGE SHA.

@OLANAJIM

AM JUS SO IMPRESSED WIT U THOROUGHNESS,U SO HOT MEN AM FEELIN U,AM SURE U APPLYIN UR BRAIN SO WELL IN UR PLACE OF WORK.

@BABEELOVE

I CANT EVEN SAY MORE ABOUT U,U XTREMELY FUNNY,I ACTUALLY TOT I WAS FUNNY B4(BUT I KNOW BETA NOW).
DAMN!R U DAT FUNNY?HMMM.KEEP IT UP SHA,U COULD MAKE PPL SMILE THOUGH I KNOW U COULD BE HARD,MEAN N WICKED.(JUS KIDDIN O)

AM FEELIN YALL

@POSTER SORRY O,I MEAN SORRY 2 D VICTIM,GOD DEY O.COME BACK 2 NAIJA JARE,make i marry u,i mean HER

I did not know nairaland users love photo album until recently. Babeelove was right not to upload her picture on public forum.

I think it is one way of warding off unwanted visitor.

Babeelove,
for ikoro sake, let the poster have a breathe. She was only trying to help out a soul. I am familiar with that type of arrangement, where the person having problem would do it through third party. Don't discourage the fellow. It must surely mean something positive.

On your name, I read it well. You know I have a friend by name Adama, meaning Mother. I just wanted to confirm.

@poster,
Don't mind babeelove, she had a way of putting serious issue on comendy stove. She could be a delight to know if you tolerate her caustic remarks.

Meanwhile get into action. Tell the lady to act a step at a time. Let her stay calm. She may overcome the trial.

2legit,

You are right. I beleive that when we get to the level where everybody is connected to internet, we can understand better.

Another thing is that, some of them are scare to bone. I have hearn a lady tell me that only idiots go online! I told her if that is so why did she joined the "idiots gang" and check his school result on line. It was because of her type that JAMB & WAEC made it a must for them to do everything online.

These people need to wake up. We are no more in agrarian era. They should at least GET CONNECTED TO NAIRALAND!

So many new faces today. Great luck from EAGLETS.

Babeelove, u dey vex sha, imagine your anger

Back to the Topic,

Her case is not that complicated,let her weigh the pains she bears now against the pains the Kids are going to bear if a divorce should come.Moreover,they have been married for sometime now,let her focus on the Good sides and try to correct the bad side of the husband.Afterall they have been living together for sometime now.

@Babeelove

i just want you to know that we all have our strenghts and weaknesses.

This may be hers so bear with her.[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000]
incidentally I am thinking about you.

i really feel her pains.shit happens.Oh she's married to him!eee yah.

Mellow, becareful with ma babelove. Are you trying to be her "charger"? I am looking out for her sweatheart on nairaland. I had long suspected she had one ever since her friend hinted at it.

Please leave her alone! Don't give her any reason to use menfolk as "battery charger". She doesn't deserve the "bonus".

hhahhha


You don't mean it!!!! Anyway I am not surprised. I actually thought this was happening in Nigeria somewhere in Etiti or Bariga somewhere over there. Some of our people are so timid--despite living abroad for so long---the "abroad" can not penetrate their psyche! These are the ones that jump from tropical food marts to tropical food marts purchasing the cheapest "okporoko" to make soup. Siddon for house breeding like rabbits--no school, no job!!! One of our akata abi na Jammo sisters don nab the dude!!!!! Grin Cheesy Grin Cheesy Grin Cheesy----they give am the correct thing!!!! Wink

oya babeelove why you commot that regae pic, lol
abeg send me ur taylor number kia kia

@ naijacutee

i have not gotten any good experience with a naija lady. so what's ur point?

@ naijacutee
because most men tend to hide their feelings, including when they are hurt, they just tough it out and not run to oprah and tyra and cry 19 to the dozen and say all the negative things the other spouse did without saying anything they did wrong. yeye women!!!

naijacutee :

@pamddi. I get what you mean. The equation works both ways, but why are there more scathed females than males?

The lady is going through emotional turmoil right now. What is known in plain language as heartbreak. It will take her time, and lots of prayers to get through it, as well as caring and wise counsel from her family and friends. Have her family members tried to talk to this man?

To the original poster: Let her cry out her pain. There is no point in keeping it all in. Then let her talk, and get it out of her system. Talking is a form of therapy. 

Then ensure she talks to her husband, letting him see how his attitude and friendship with this other woman, is hurting her. She needs to do so, even if it leads to a confontation. She has to let it all out. She should select her words with care, and make him see exactly how his actions are affecting her. If he refuses to listen, can she talk to some of her own tough friends, who would be in a better position to warn that other babe off her man? 

Finally, let her work on herself. Encourage her to get a job, have a change of scene and a break from routine activity, will do her good. Let her confide in trust-worthy friends who will console her, and take her out to lunch, gyms and the mall, to get her mind off her misery. And on a last note, let her begin the long, slow process of untying her soul and detaching her emotions from the man. She needs to get to a stage, where no matter what the guy does, it will no longer hurt her. She has to do it all by herself. No one can help her to get to that stage. It starts with her working on her self-esteem, and putting her energy into something else, other than loving him.

It is sad that her husband is still tied to the apron strings of his ex-wife. Obviously, he is a weak, immature, thoughtless individual. She needs to be strong to deal with the emotional affection she still has for him, which  causes her to get upset, anytime she hears him talking to this other woman. She has to become indifferent to his antics. That is the only way for her to maintain her sanity.

If none of this works, let her try all those fire-fire prayers. e.g "any strange woman coming betwen me & my husband. . .what are you waiting for??"

I think there is something he still find very interesting in the Ex that he cannot let go and again he cannot get it from the lady in concern. The lady should find out where she is lacking and improve on it

laudate:

The lady is going through emotional turmoil right now. What is known in plain language as heartbreak. It will take her time, and lots of prayers to get through it, as well as caring and wise counsel from her family and friends. Have her family members tried to talk to this man?

To the original poster: Let her cry out her pain. There is no point in keeping it all in. Then let her talk, and get it out of her system. Talking is a form of therapy.

Then ensure she talks to her husband, letting him see how his attitude and friendship with this other woman, is hurting her. She needs to do so, even if it leads to a confontation. She has to let it all out. She should select her words with care, and make him see exactly how his actions are affecting her. If he refuses to listen, can she talk to some of her own tough friends, who would be in a better position to warn that other babe off her man?

Finally, let her work on herself. Encourage her to get a job, as a change of scene and a break from routine activity, will do her good. Let her confide in trust-worthy friends who will console her, and take her out to lunch, gyms and the mall, to get her mind off her misery. And on a last note, let her begin the long, slow process of untying her soul and detaching her emotions from the man. She needs to get to a stage, where no matter what the guy does, it will no longer hurt her. She has to do it all by herself. No one can help her to get to that stage. It starts with her working on her self-esteem, and putting her energy into something else, other than loving him.


It is sad that her husband is still tied to the apron strings of his ex-wife. Obviously, he is a weak, immature, thoughtless individual. She needs to be strong to deal with the emotional affection she still has for him, which causes her to get upset, anytime she hears him talking to this other woman. She has to become indifferent to his antics. That is the only way for her to maintain her sanity.

If none of this works, let her try all those fire-fire prayers. e.g "any strange woman coming betwen me & my husband. . .what are you waiting for??"

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!! Dr. Love!!!! I need to make an appointment with you oh. But my problem is of a "different" nature.

luvlawyer:

oya babeelove why you commot that regae pic, lol
abeg send me your taylor number kia kia

Girleeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Don't try it oh!!!! You are too young to wear------total body-hug fishnets!!!! Stay tuned for the bikini--swimsuit edition--just have to clean them up a lirrrrrrrrrrrle. The "husband" flipped his lid when he saw that one in particular---so a decided to put one with a responsible "married" woman's picture instead!!! He sure did not find it funny arrrrrrrralllll!!!. He even refused to take his "pacifier" when he saw that one. He is still throwing tantrums----

mellow:

@Babeelove

i just want you to know that we all have our strenghts and weaknesses.

This may be hers so bear with her.[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000]
incidentally I am thinking about you.

Mellow yellow!!! I knooooooooooooow.  Just let me know how a can ease the "pain"---in the bulge!!!

As you can see the poster is in pain toooooooooooo! Can you help her out?