mummy3:

Thanks oo @demdem, hungry don dey cash me for answering questions.
My people anyhow we most survive, God dey.
I love my hubby, I love my kids & I enjoy my work equation balanced na only holdup stress dey finish us @ least i dey close a bit early 5-6pm
We're moving to suruelere next year January by God's Grace, at least s/lere - v/i is a bit closer, and my mum lives in s/lere.

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!

It's the QUALITY not the QUANTITY of the time that matters and in my opinion, you are doing a mighty fine job!!!

May God continue to give you the strength to balance everything.

The challenges in banking industry are so numerous in nigeria.Most people are there because there is no ther mouth watering job in nigeria thereby left no choice than to be there. To be a female banker as well as mum or wife is too much hectic especially when you are a marketer. YOU talk of the target, the problem of client probably you gave a facilities for a customer to pay at a minimun time and the customer flopps , you pay with your salary. Is it the numerous meeting you will attend especially on mondays and last saturday of the month with your manager or supervisor and on saturday with your regional managers were you be standing infront of other marketers attimes operators to give your PROPOSALS, CABAL.I n this aspect you tell the managers why you have been receiving salary and your Cabal is not growing or Why you allowed the customer to withraw its deposits without repalcement.

YOU will be given all kinds of names. There are some managers that will tell you tobring deposits from a particular customer which they know is a miser\randybut rich which is a hurclean task. When a manager tells you , you no sey yo be fine boy or girl abeg do anything you sabi to get dey money from Alhaji or ALHJA or Oga SOSOSO. IF you dont get it you have MEMO copied management and head office asup and you must get it. What do you do.(Applicable to both sex) Operators have there challenges especially when a manager or superior ask for DRY POSTING- this situation is a terrible integrity issue but it exist and can lead someone to be sacked.

Note, most of these bankers are contract staff that their take home package is about £400,500 euro a month andwhen the chips are down they suffer most. Beloved, if you are in this forum please have a PLANB,C if possible ,D.

MAY GOD SEE US THROUGH IN JESUS NAME AMEN

I would say that having worked in a Bank and had a close boss whose wife also worked in a bank; it is probably not a good idea for a woman to work in a Bank located in Lagos Islands especially.

Its so stressful and keeping up would be so difficult.

If i end up marrying a banker, then there has to be an agreement that in the next 5 years, she would have to look for another sector that would enable her have the time to have a big impact on the kids.
What some people don't understand is that in schools, not only teachers teach kids, but also their peers. Unfortunately, a kid is more likely to pick up what his peers are doing than what the teachers are saying.

If you are unlucky that the kids best friend comes from a bad home or the friends family values is nothing to write home about, then your in trouble (I remember as a kid being drawn to the wrong gangs , you wouldn't want to know things i did as one, but my mum will keep tabs of all my friends and would tell me not to be in company of some of them).

maclatunji:

Dayokanu is playing with e-fire. Do you know the number of high-calibre people that have attend Ansar-ud-deen schools! He is going to get it!

indulge me 4da pls na there dem dey train bokon haram young shall grow ko?

pkv:

indulge me 4da pls na there dem dey train bokon haram young shall grow ko?

I was expecting someone to say this but I did not know you would be the one dumb enough to post it!

Outstrip:

I quit my job in investments and I have no regrets. That job was stressful but nothing like banking in Nigeria. That is a whole other beast. That is a job I know I will never ever be willing to do. I just thank God that I grew some balls and decided to give my all to my businesses. That sort of schedule cannot be good for any relationship. I don't care what anybody says.

For someone like me that loves knacking sometimes 3 times a day when I am not working. I don't stand a chance in hell with that kind of job.

BTW what kind of biz are you idoing?(if you don't mind my asking), if it is shoes and bags business please holla at me, I am planning to chase Kadry out of the house with all my material things, the less space he has for his own things, the bigger my chances of sending him on exile

oohunt:

@mummy3, I honestly bow for you. From VI to Ejigbo? It aint easy what you are doing. And the fact that you leave your kids at home everyday and hope they would always be ok. . .

It is also good that you have established a balance in your busy lifestyle. I am sure it was tougher before now. Thank God for your understanding husband.

The truth is that this not only happens in Nigeria but also awomen abroad go through this. They are hardly home to tend to the kids or husband. They have to work to make ends meet. If you want to give your kids the best, sitting at home wont get you there.

I am glad to read that you are moving. There is no reason to put yourself through the strees of traffic. If you have a good job then you can afford to live closer to your place of work.

Thanks for your support my love

semid4lyfe:

So for your mind Queens College na public school? I only ask cos two of my younger siblings went to that school and in my opinion overtushness dey worry the students of that school. . .just like KC. Small man pikin no dey go QC and na serious conection/leg work to enter there. No talk am again o. . . QC na FGC but it's one of the best in the FGC's and it's on the same level with elite private schools like A-Hall, Vivian Fowler, Corona etc.

By the way, I've noticed you've been posting and replying people's post since morning. Seems you have so much free time on that banking job of yours

Anyhow sha, all the best as you juggle and balance work & family

Its not a most for a banker to work 366 days, at least i have some days to rest out of this 366 days
Beside it's not all department in the bank that are always buzy
I work in a stress free depart
Like i mentioned earlier, its the operational branch staff that usually closes late, that's if their head of dept want it that way.

^^^^^
Mummy3

They all say u r doing great with ur multi-tasking. Anyway pray u don't drop dead one day with all this stress. God forbid sha, not wishing u evil but stress kills.

You say u travel round d world abi? Pls save ur money, stop traveling round d world and invest in a business so u can leave that stressful life and have more time for the family. At the end of the day, in this life the only thing that matters is family.

Why do people only think this happens in Nigeria! Whereas they have it easier there cos here what you would spend on childcare could easily guzzle up a substantial part of one's wages leaving nothing left to pay for househelp, talkless of the frazzled breaking point we push ourselves to, whilst still trying to front as a domestic goddess at home, always clockwatching and dashing out of the office as soon as the clock strikes five, lol.

Why do die hard feminism delude women who wants to be mothers that they can have it all, when the capitalist world we live in has ensured women would always face the proverbial glass ceiling to prevent them from being exposed to the stress and burn-out synonymous with the corporate world.

Who wants to employ a woman who can fail to turn up at work one day because she has to take Sandy to the dentist's appointment or suddenly has to leave work because she gets call from school that little johnny fell off the swing and broke his neck or is it those loooong maternity leave they get whereby the employer has to keep their role open and can only legally employ a temporary staff to cover the pregnant madam on maternity leave in case she decides she wants her job back after her 18months maternity leave, shior, SMH.

I wonder what the fuss is about. Like what mummy3 said a child who wants to spoil will spoil

@mummy3 my mum did the same thing when i was growing up and i didn't turn out bad, though it wasn't a bank job. Keep praying and training your kids in the way you think is best and the Lord will direct you. Up qc girls

jennykadry:

For someone like me that loves knacking sometimes 3 times a day when I am not working. I don't stand a chance in hell with that kind of job.

BTW what kind of biz are you idoing?(if you don't mind my asking), if it is shoes and bags business please holla at me, I am planning to chase Kadry out of the house with all my material things, the less space he has for his own things, the bigger my chances of sending him on exile

LOL. I know it sounds funny but that is another thing. In all seriousness if you are tired and you just "allow"" him it is not like when you are ready for action. The one that he takes one look at you and he picks race for fear for his life. I understand what you are saying sha.

My businesses are all around home health. My agency provides care for the elderly and the developmetally disabled. I also run day programs for the developmentally disabled and also medical transportation. It's hectic and sometimes stressful but I can decide to take time off when I really need to. I work long hours but I can choose to do all my paper work at night when the boys are in bed.
I have dabbled in the handbag and shoe stuff but I just couldn't give it my all. I am in the middle of doing something in fashion with my sister and best friend. it will not be a boutique or anything like that but I will be sure to let you know about it when we roll it out. Maybe you can sample somethings for us since you know so much. I don't give nairaland discounts o. Don't think that you will sample for free. LOL

Outstrip:


LOL. I know it sounds funny but that is another thing. In all seriousness if you are tired and you just "allow"" him it is not like when you are ready for action. The one that he takes one look at you and he picks race for fear for his life. I understand what you are saying sha.

My businesses are all around home health. My agency provides care for the elderly and the developmetally disabled. I also run day programs for the developmentally disabled and also medical transportation. It's hectic and sometimes stressful but I can decide to take time off when I really need to. I work long hours but I can choose to do all my paper work at night when the boys are in bed.
I have dabbled in the handbag and shoe stuff but I just couldn't give it my all. I am in the middle of doing something in fashion with my sister and best friend. it will not be a boutique or anything like that but I will be sure to let you know about it when we roll it out. Maybe you can sample somethings for us since you know so much. I don't give nairaland discounts o. Don't think that you will sample for free. LOL

You bad O.

maclatunji:

You bad O.

So bad I am good

Outstrip:

So bad I am good

Ye have a good sense of humour.

@ mummy3, I would like to know how you coped when your babies were much younger say about 3 months- 1.5 years. I am not a banker, but likely to find myself out of the home for long hours because of traffic.

I'm not mummy3, but I was a banker in Nigeria when I had my 2 kids; within 14 months of each other.

My husband was also a banker and had worse hours than me. We lived in Akoka and both worked in V.I.

I was very lucky that my grandmother was alive then and very able and strong. She lived with me for 4 months after my first was born and as soon as I got preggie with the second, I sent my 1st son and my grandmother to live with my parents.
I only saw my son every weekends for almost 5 months.
My preggies were always tough so I just couldnt cope healthwise. I also got a maid to help them out.

After I had my seocnd child, my granny and my maid moved back with me. I enrolled my older son in school for 4 hours a day. My colleagues that were not as fortunate to have family around, took their babies in car seat to daycares very close to the office and went in during the day to nurse them.

To cut the long story short, you have to do what works for you. Luckily for me, my family travelled within 2 months of me returing to work from my 2nd mat leave.

@yodiyokun thanks. I have thought about a creche close to work, but the idea of taking a three month old out of the house at 5am and returning at possibly 8pm or later is something I am not really comfortable with. Unfortunately my mum and MIL have crossed to the other side of life and my siblings are all in school.
I just hope I make the right decision.

Sammiejo:

@yodiyokun thanks. I have thought about a creche close to work, but the idea of taking a three month old out of the house at 5am and returning at possibly 8pm or later is something I am not really comfortable with. Unfortunately my mum and MIL have crossed to the other side of life and my siblings are all in school.
I just hope I make the right decision.

Eeeyah!!! my dear, God will give you wisdom on what to do, i feel for you, would you rather get some one, like a nanny, a matured woman that would be coming home everyday to watch your child, that was what i did, i had a babysitter that would come home everyday when my baby was four months old and we were doing that till he turned 1. now he goes to daycare. You can look into that too.

Sammiejo what time does your husband get back from work. Is he out till 8pm also? If not then why can't he keep the baby until then. I am still wondering why bankers work such long hours in Nigeria

Outstrip:

I am still wondering why bankers work such long hours in Nigeria

The problem is not just long hours; Lagos traffic is the issue. Any one who works on the island and lives on the mainland goes through living hell every blessed day. You leave work 5-6pm and get home (Yaba/Anthony/Maryland) like 8pm on a good day and 9-10pm most days.During rainy season, many get home well after midnight - yes, including nursing mothers! Now imagine the fate of those who live in Ogba, Dopemu, Ojodu, Akute, Ikorodu etc and work on the island.

BTW mummy3 explained the long hours issue earlier in the thread.

@ ronke thanks for that tip.I will if I can find someone who lives close to me.
@outstrip my husband is even worse off.

Mothers,

Why not take a job that makes you a bit available to take care of your family esp the kids ?

All these long hours at work and long hours in traffic, which strength will you have again to take care of your family? And what of your own health ?

A lot of young people are going about with high blood pressure , without even knowing it . You keep hearing of people collapsing at work or at home.

There is even no time to go for check ups and etc.

Just wondering, God help us all.

Gaggi:

^^^^^
Mummy3

They all say u r doing great with your multi-tasking. Anyway pray u don't drop dead one day with all this stress. God forbid sha, not wishing u evil but stress kills.

You say u travel round d world abi? Pls save your money, stop traveling round d world and invest in a business so u can leave that stressful life and have more time for the family. At the end of the day, in this life the only thing that matters is family.

Thanks for your advise
my trip is always @ my office expense
I have good savings already
Did you say stress? i  , Who does not go through stress in this country,  traders, pastors, farmers etc name them, even sch children go through stress
Is it the business that would make me not to go through stress?
After all am not working in a steel & metal factory or digging road for Julius berger
Since stress has not been killing our mothers, grand mas & GGrandmas in the village farm, i dont think it will kill me, Amen

Kunbee:

I wonder what the fuss is about. Like what mummy3 said a child who wants to spoil will spoil

@mummy3 my mum did the same thing when i was growing up and i didn't turn out bad, though it wasn't a bank job. Keep praying and training your kids in the way you think is best and the Lord will direct you. Up qc girls    

yo girl, a thumb up for the qc

mummy3:

Yes
We work with timetable. i have my daily activities timetable on my office desktop. i go through it everyday to know what next e.g my kids break fast,lunch & dinner schedule. And my hubby is that undestandable type. On saturdays i'll prepare 2 types of soup and stew and shared them into little plastics and put them in the freezer so that it will be easy for us during week days. On a daily basis after work when i get home, i keep my kids uniforms, sucks, pants, lunch boxes in order to make it easy for us in the morning when we wake up and also check their home work if its weldone, we go to bed at most btw 10:30&11pm, our body is used to it. In the morning we wake as early as 5a.m including the kids, they're used to it, my hubby will bath and dress them up, while i prepare their meal to sch. And we'll make sure they take little breakfast before going to school. [size=14pt]I have a little 12yrs brother that stays with me, he comes back from his own school before school bus comes to drop the kids. He'll make sure they've taken their bad and take their meal before assisting them with their home work. In the evening before we return, the kids would have taken wheat food e.g golden morn or conflakes before going to bed [/size] or atimes they wait for our return, we get home at most 9-9:30pm from vi to ejigbo. And we call home as often as we can to know their wayabout and wellbeing.
Its needs understanding and corporation. God is our strength, we know our aim.

Na chicken you dey raise or wetin, wey you dey feed them [i]shuku agbado [/i]every blessed night

Repressed memories of my Mum feeding us bread & egg or bread & tea or cornflakes every freaking morning is just coming up to the surface I need to book an appointent to see a Clinical Psychologist asap to tackle this issues, after which I need to get a Lawyer to sue my Momma for child abuse No wonder I turned out the way i did - unbalanced because all i got fed was unbalanced an diet No wonder I vex for this thread earlier due to the deeply entrenched emotional trauma

I wish I can find the humor in this o

Busy_body:


Na chicken you dey raise or wetin, wey you dey feed them [i]shuku agbado [/i]every blessed night

Repressed memories of my Mum feeding us bread & egg or bread & tea or cornflakes every freaking morning is just coming up to the surface I need to book an appointent to see a Clinical Psychologist asap to tackle this issues, after which I need to get a Lawyer to sue my Momma for child abuse No wonder I turned out the way i did - unbalanced because all i got fed was unbalanced an diet No wonder I vex for this thread earlier due to the deeply entrenched emotional trauma

Thank God you said every blessed night (not Morning, Afternoon & Night)
So think of what the kids would have been eating in the morning and in the afternoon also for a balance diet.
What did you expect your mumsy to feed you with in the morning? Amala, Eba, Fufu or agoyi Ewa
I believe we should read through, think before we post, for it to sound reasonable

Wetin na! How many people fix raise dem hand say them dey eat balanced diet everyday. Four servings of fruit; 2 servings of grain; 1serving of meat and I beleive 2 servings of milk/diary products.

We were all traumatised with unbalanced diet- get over it lol!

Busy_body:


Na chicken you dey raise or wetin, wey you dey feed them [i]shuku agbado [/i]every blessed night

Repressed memories of my Mum feeding us bread & egg or bread & tea or cornflakes every freaking morning is just coming up to the surface I need to book an appointent to see a Clinical Psychologist asap to tackle this issues, after which I need to get a Lawyer to sue my Momma for child abuse No wonder I turned out the way i did - unbalanced because all i got fed was unbalanced an diet No wonder I vex for this thread earlier due to the deeply entrenched emotional trauma

maclatunji:

I was expecting someone to say this but I did not know you would be the one dumb enough to post it!

dull reply 4rm a piggy braind olodo

Sammiejo:

@ mummy3, I would like to know how you coped when your babies were much younger say about 3 months- 1.5 years. I am not a banker, but likely to find myself out of the home for long hours because of traffic.

My mum used to come and stay Mon-fri and go home sat morning then return on monday early morning. My mum is precious
If my mum wasn't there, may be i would have had another alternative
There's solution for every situation

Outstrip:

I wish I can find the humor in this o

yodiyokun:

Wetin na! How many people fix raise dem hand say them dey eat balanced diet everyday. Four servings of fruit; 2 servings of grain; 1serving of meat and I beleive 2 servings of milk/diary products.

We were all traumatised with unbalanced diet- get over it lol!

But, but, but, surely someone has to stand up for the right of these kids surely Lest they become turn out to be unbalanced like me Unless you are telling me that we that live in yabaleft are the correct sane ones who are only incarcerated to be protected from the insane ones like you who live in the outside world