i feel when it comes to romance both guys and girls are in the search for fairy-tales, which is probably as a result of too many unrealistic romance movies or mills&boons.
ever ask anyonewho he/she would like to spend the rest of their lives with, what the always discribe are physical qualities, tall, handsome, e.t.c nice ass, boobs hips e.tc.

dont you think we become too vain and aiming for things that will fade with time while qualities that last like a beautiful spirit, kindness, sensibilty, love are are being forgotten? i fear for many of us cause many folks are empty( have not depth on issues) and we pursue shallow things that will cause problems later. when u get married it not how much of sex u know that would count but how u take care of the person u married, it not to be how beautiful u are cause the guy will see many others who are more beautiful, it not how cool u are as a guy, but your ability to lead your home.

marriages are breaking cause there is nothing inside them. sex isnt enough o, wake up

Well, the fact that no one has replied to this up to the point that it's not on the first page INDEED confirms your post

No News. Move on

Before we move on, perhaps it would be judicious of us to suggest why such might be the case. This really is a topic that seems to have some room for discussion.

Well, lets see:

1: Bad examples: One major cause of people being rebellious is that fact that the qualities that were drummed into their heads since childbirth were always broken/debased by those they looked up to in the society. Not wanting to be anything close to a hypocrite, they subconsciously become rebelious (there are other factors, yes) - Think more like "Daddy and house help were doing what Mummy and Uncle used to do when Daddy and house help are not around" - you get the drift

2: No were to turn: Proper education. As Sex is always an uneasy topic, the parents leave it to school, completing forgetting that school is also made up of - you guess it - Adults who have difficulty treating the issue. The result? Conveying the impression that Sex and anything related is a taboo that shouldn't be discussed beyond the curriculum - curiosity points them into the wrong direction. Afterall, Nobody told them that Sex is part of a way bigger picture.ADD to that the fact that our High School/Universities besides redundant education are nothing more than a popularity contest (Hierarchy out of nothing but looks, and anything rebellious, which includes sex appeal), and Pressure groups, need i say more?

3:Media: Sex sells, from everywhere to everything: Movies, Banners, Adverts, Series, Clothing, Shoes. Add to it Mills and Boon, and anything else u can recall, and before she/he is 17 she/he has an encyclopedia on everything about sex - ALL IN THE WRONG PERSPECTIVE, SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING CONSTRUCTED OUT OF NOTHING. Maybe she/he will find the truth very very late in life, after many "laid" instances, and probably hate our generation for poor guidance. That leaves us with 4,

4. Good o karma: Somehow, the lessons one generation learns is always lost on the next. It's that cycle that somehow makes sense why we are still making all the stupid mistakes over again. And let's not forget the new problem particular to every generation (like lesbianism, Open marriage, No strings attached, Players,etc)

Hope i didn't dive too far left/right. Over to you?

I read this thread right from the time it was posted. I was trying to see how people would respond. Just as rightly pointed out society tend to flow toward the tide that deviate from traditional ethos.

Our youths want to hear, read, and feel sex. Post a thread on manner, and you find most of then shy away from it. Post another on sex, you finds them rushing to take a look.

@topic,
your observations was accurate. And the respond posted, appropriate. But will this generation ever learn?

I read this thread right from the time it was posted. I was trying to see how people would respond. Just as rightly pointed out society tend to flow toward the tide that deviate from traditional ethos.

Our youths want to hear, read, and feel sex. Post a thread on manner, and you find most of then shy away from it. Post another on sex, you finds them rushing to take a look.

@topic,
your observations was accurate. And the respond posted, appropriate. But will this generation ever learn?

olanajim, please get a better internet connection abeg eh or just try to post once

Somebody said I am suffering from the bug of multiple posting. He was wrong. You are right, I wasn't to blame but my provider. I hope it is corrected sooner.

ima1:

olanajim, please get a better internet connection abeg eh or just try to post once

Is this ur own contribution to the topic?

@topic,

Let try and take a look at the underlying problems. I think, the impact of the civilisation cannot be underestimated. When we embraced western culture, some of us threw away our culture altogether. Both moral and spiritual ethics were sacrificed for western civilisation. In so doing, we traded our social tradition by barter in exchange for Akata traditions. Ironically the Oyinbos are tired of their own failed culture. Look at the dimension it had taken. Same sex marriage, single parenthood, high divorce rate, cheating partners, uncultured progenies etc


When choosing partners in most African societies, beauty is not the primary consideration but manner and family background. But they have limitations. Eg they choose wives for their children regardless of the children wish. And they have the reputation of killing lovers dream if parents oppose the union.

When we embraced western culture, it seem we just threw away everything from our side and embraced everything on their side. Oyinbos appear to place more emphasis on beauty and little on moral and character.

Another example has to do with wealth. In traditional African societies, wealth is not the primary factor. In fact, Africans encourage youths to marry early and support one another till they make it. It is very common to hear that a particular couple married, when they "have nothing". I think in conventional African settings, one of the reason the first wife in a polygamous family commanded respect and sometimes weird enormous power is because she is the foundation of the husband wealth. Even responsible husbands respected them. Admittedly, this practice had some drawbacks, especially in polygamous setting.

With western culture however, most couple want to be 'comfortable' before even thinking of a partner. They don't want to suffer with one another. This why there are so many upsets in the system.

While I do not campaign for return to dark age, I  believe there is need for deeper reflection.

@topic,

everybody has a dream "something", be it whatever. . .  . and we've always been taught to strive as much as possible to achieve that which we dream and if u're not successful or stand little or no chances of making that goal, then and only then do u settle 4 anything less!
whats vain about that

moondust:

Is this your own contribution to the topic?

i no see wetin consine u for this matter, is that ur own contribution

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

well modesty comes to those who get shot down by people who look better than they do. i mean take for instance high shcools in teh US, these thuggish boys see these video girls an dwant to date girls with big, butt boobs adn weave. Now mind u thse boys are very unattractive, and still are not gettin the pretty girls, eventually one day they wake up and realize it wont happen. TOo late, they are in their 30's hittin 40's and settle with what they can get.

That is interesting. You mean some guys live on fantasia Island just for the sake of those abstract show babe? And they hallucinated for half of their life hoping the dream come true? Then their govt must act fast!