BrighterThanDay:
Why is it that even when it is so clear from all indications that your daughter is married to an irresponsible man who is toxic. Nigerian parents will still say endure and stay there.

A lot of married young ladies are down with depression and even high BP because of marital stress. But they have to remain there. It's just so sad

Greetings to you. So toxic marriages na only men dey cause am bah?

BrighterThanDay:
Why is it that even when it is so clear from all indications that your daughter is married to an irresponsible man who is toxic. Nigerian parents will still say endure and stay there.

A lot of married young ladies are down with depression and even high BP because of marital stress. But they have to remain there. It's just so sad

Come! come!! come!!! I can gives or guarantees them more expression, more depression or more expression of depression/in depression,"inexpression or in expression"/with depression..., expression like depression,etc; session by session... Impression and expression of depression...with no compression and insurrection, with no comprehension and communication, comprehension and apprehension, tension and what?...,etc; until the THE DAY of RESURRECTION...! I can guarantees them or guarantee that, they likes drinking tea and what...? &Pea or pee...?... Tea like pea or teas like pees...? Tea like bees...?...

I know a girl who left her marriage yesterday... we celebrated her.

bonnyhope:


Leave marriage people alone

How do you know they are not enjoying the marriage

I would have to look at it oo...

Ernezt:
I know a girl who left her marriage yesterday... we celebrated her.

What would she now do...?...

These days toxic is relatively defined. However, your parents will support your positive decisions and frown at the negative ones of your if yours aren’t supporting you I’m sorry. Marriage in africa differs from the western world (although their understanding rapidly being adopted).

A reason they might not be in support could be they’re faced with similar situations and they weathered the storm and made it beautiful.

Ernezt:
I know a girl who left her marriage yesterday... we celebrated her.

How come? Where is she now?

aku626:
These days toxic is relatively defined. However, your parents will support your positive decisions and frown at the negative ones of your if yours aren’t supporting you I’m sorry. Marriage in africa differs from the western world (although their understanding rapidly being adopted).

A reason they might not be in support could be they’re faced with similar situations and they weathered the storm and made it beautiful.

Exactly how is if relatively defined these days abeg?

Who made the marriage toxic at the first place? Both of them. Stop looking for a perfect marriage. You're the only one who decides how you want your marriage to be. Perfect marriage is possible if only you can sacrifice to build it.

DenreleDave:


Marriage is not a scam.. I have seen few people that I wish to have sumtin like them.. Not that they are perfect but they did well with their marriage...

Marriage is not scam.... Na scammers dey enter marriage

The idea of marriage painted to people is what makes it a scam

Marriage is not for happiness

Marriage is about companionship, respect and tolerance.

BrighterThanDay:
Why is it that even when it is so clear from all indications that your daughter is married to an irresponsible man who is toxic. Nigerian parents will still say endure and stay there.

A lot of married young ladies are down with depression and even high BP because of marital stress. But they have to remain there. It's just so sad

Define toxic? It seems this generation is focused more on generalization than being specific! What is toxic to one relationship might not be toxic to another.

For example, one relationship might prefer husband to take charge of all the major decisions, another might prefer to discuss everything? Who's to say which one is right or wrong?

Another example, a wife that shouts on her husband and even grabs his clothes when they have an argument versus a husband that keeps silent and ignores the wife when angry, which one is toxic? Which one should leave the marriage? Are they both toxic? In such case, what should parents do?

The sooner we realize that we can't control everything, the better! We have relationships were BDSM is their catalyst, we have some where a deep secret prevents husband or wife from leaving.......This thing called marriage is not for the weak and it seems this generation is all about pointing out problems rather than finding solutions.

Many of una believe toxic relationships is about being physically abusive but most can't even recognize true toxicity even when it sits right in front of them. True toxicity leaves no physical scar, in fact to the outside world it gives no hint. How then do you expect a parent to intervene?

the real question is "why are these men toxic"? was it so from the beginning?... was there no signs of it before marriage?

BrighterThanDay:
Why is it that even when it is so clear from all indications that your daughter is married to an irresponsible man who is toxic. Nigerian parents will still say endure and stay there.

A lot of married young ladies are down with depression and even high BP because of marital stress. But they have to remain there. It's just so sad

1. Marriage is a covenant well spelt out in the vows- for better for worse, for richer for poorer, etc.
You can't enjoy marriage and run away during the trying times. Since life is not a bed of roses, marriage will test you in good times if you will become proud and it will test you in bad times if you've been hiding your true character.
Have spiritual parents you look up to for good marriage counsel. Most times it's not your biological parents. You will realise they have either passed through same or similar challenges and will be able to guide upu through.
Both our tradition and Scripture respect the marriage institution because it is sacred.

2. If the problem is beyond repair either cos you're unequally yoked, God makes provision for divorce under certain circumstances. If divorce is the only option then you should not be scared of your parents or what people will say. Alone and naked we came to this world, alone and naked we will leave. Nothing and no one leaves this earth with us.

3. It is imperative to get marriage right from the start. Prayerfully seek good counsel before agreeing to marry who you decide to marry. This saves from many heartaches, cos a husband or wife you know Gpd gave you will certainly be a blessing to you even though you both will certainly go through the challenges of life together, it will be with the Help of the One who you joined you together in Holy matrimony (God).

God help us all and help repair marriages that need His touch in Jesus name. Amen

BrighterThanDay:
Why is it that even when it is so clear from all indications that your daughter is married to an irresponsible man who is toxic. Nigerian parents will still say endure and stay there.

A lot of married young ladies are down with depression and even high BP because of marital stress. But they have to remain there. It's just so sad

Naija Women are always the Saints.

Naija guys no dae kuku marry again like before , make everybody dae e dae.

BrighterThanDay:
Why is it that even when it is so clear from all indications that your daughter is married to an irresponsible man who is toxic. Nigerian parents will still say endure and stay there.

A lot of married young ladies are down with depression and even high BP because of marital stress. But they have to remain there. It's just so sad

Leave and become even more toxic and pain?

Nice one

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frozen70:


So which one is easy

For a married woman to walk out of abusive marriage alive with her children

Or for a married woman's corpse to be carried out of that house and her children becoming motherless with a loveless father

How many women do you know have die in marriage?

You're very correct. It swings both ways just that females suffer more.
I've been looking for a way for my partner to leave me. Her parents are still encouraging her to remain haba. I'm about to drop the last straw which will not involve taking life. O.. but we will happily go our separate ways.

Maybe she won't go happily but I will.

My sanity is my concern

Woman should be very wise in selecting good men because most men out there are trash and not ready to take responsibility..Some are just intentionally mean because they see woman as second hand citizens that should answer their every command..It's a real pity..
God will help us ladies .

aku626:
These days toxic is relatively defined. However, your parents will support your positive decisions and frown at the negative ones of your if yours aren’t supporting you I’m sorry. Marriage in africa differs from the western world (although their understanding rapidly being adopted).

A reason they might not be in support could be they’re faced with similar situations and they weathered the storm and made it beautiful.

If nobody supports what..., what would somebody or anybody supports...? If nobody supports what..., what should/would anybody supports...?... Of course, I wasn't there when nobody like (like you...?) anybody,etc; was going to or taking themselves to court...? Maybe I should go to Court and asks...? I should go and ask in Courts/from Court..., or I should go to Court and ask...? Court of Portharcourt or Court from Portharcourt, Court like Portharcourt or Court in Portharcourt...? Court-where they are wearing bootcut, bum short, etc; or where they are looking at/looking for those harlots(like the wife of Lot...),etc; butts and buttocks or etc butt like buttocks-that are wearing socks..., or is it that are wearing gloves...? Court that are doing cult or occult, or Court that are like cult and occult...? Which Court...? Supreme Court or High Court...? Maybe I should go to seaport, airport or
a depot...? Which Port and Depot...in Portharcourt..., which airport and seaport...?

BrighterThanDay:


So are you saying as long as a woman can care for your kids and herself, then it's best she leaves.
I thought according to our tradition the children belong to the man?
Can a woman leave with her kids? Except for the obvious running away? I need a sincere and informed answer to this.

The female kids would turn to Olosho,the male kids would turn to yahoo. Can't you see what comes out of a broken home?

Depending on the toxicness

BrighterThanDay:
Why is it that even when it is so clear from all indications that your daughter is married to an irresponsible man who is toxic. Nigerian parents will still say endure and stay there.

A lot of married young ladies are down with depression and even high BP because of marital stress. But they have to remain there. It's just so sad

What of married young men?

eboniest:
Woman should be very wise in selecting good men because most men out there are trash and not ready to take responsibility..Some are just intentionally mean because they see woman as second hand citizens that should answer their every command..It's a real pity..
God will help us ladies .

O da... Bend down selects koje... Dandan ni ke select...? Na by force to select...? Na by force...?... No wonder I am still looking for GOD and THE LORD JESUS CHRIST, ETC; ELECT or ELECTS...? Everyone else or everybody else, etc; are doing bend down and select...; or bend over and over again...to select...? Abi you won collect...? You go collect woto woto...,etc; for your "toto toilet",etc; tiko ni imo toto...?(Na you sabi, collect whatever...;it's your head that's not correct...) Na you sabi... Eyin Asabi ati Iya Asabi... Eyin ti ekoti di Atunbi, atibeebeelo; keeto di obi... Boni odo awon Iya Agbebi...,eyinti etidi obi, eyinti eti ni/di ebi ati molebi...?(Se esiun lo/wo yeti... Eyin oloro tabi oloro-oloro abeti/abojugunlegbeeti?)... Molebi Ajirebi abiti Fajobi...? Eyin teeti bi akobi ati agbeyinbi...? See sini "alibi/alibis,etc; lati bisi...? See emo eyan doobi...,loje kedi obi...? Abi...?... Tani kiun bi...?... Awon kiniun leje...,leje leje... Abe eleje...,abe nseje... Abe mankanje...abe awon onijekuje... Abe mankanje/monkanje, atibeebeelo; ni abe awon oni ijekuje...tiun nkan man-un bani dana ounje...? Aba olohunje je...maje kolohunje ri ounje je...?...

BrighterThanDay:
Why is it that even when it is so clear from all indications that your daughter is married to an irresponsible man who is toxic. Nigerian parents will still say endure and stay there.

A lot of married young ladies are down with depression and even high BP because of marital stress. But they have to remain there. It's just so sad

/

How is it the parent's fault that an adult chose to remain a victim in a toxic relationship? At what point in life do Nigerians start assuming full responsibilities as adults?

/

The question is that who chose the husband for her, her parents or herself?
Inasmuch you chosen him, tolerate him.

Puss360:
The duty of a parent is to train their daughters to know themselves...
If you know yourself, you will know that from 20 yrs is now an adult and at that age any of your actions has to be taken with care....
From that age You should know when you feel you are ready for marriage, nobody should coerce you ..
You should also know the kind of man you are getting married to, nobody should know the man more than you....
If along the lane of marriage, you discover some toxic behaviour, decision to leave should rest on your shoulder Nd not your parents...

Remember, it's your marriage, it's your husband...
Not theirs...

You've spoken well, However, marriage of all decisions requires God's guidance.

Puss360:
The duty of a parent is to train their daughters to know themselves...
If you know yourself, you will know that from 20 yrs is now an adult and at that age any of your actions has to be taken with care....
From that age You should know when you feel you are ready for marriage, nobody should coerce you ..
You should also know the kind of man you are getting married to, nobody should know the man more than you....
If along the lane of marriage, you discover some toxic behaviour, decision to leave should rest on your shoulder Nd not your parents...

Remember, it's your marriage, it's your husband...
Not theirs...

The problem is they always return to the parents with children leaving them to start catering for children all over again.

ultimateprof:
Who made the marriage toxic at the first place? Both of them. Stop looking for a perfect marriage. You're the only one who decides how you want your marriage to be. Perfect marriage is possible if only you can sacrifice to build it.

Do you know what makes a relationship toxic? Such a situation typically results when one partner or side is forced to sacrifice more than the other in order to achieve what he/she perceives as the perfect relationship or what pretends to be so. If you find yourself in such a situation, you are already deep in a toxic relationship and you are best getting yourself out before your mind is completely messed up by it.

tete7000:


The problem is they always return to the parents with children leaving them to start catering for children all over again.

Train up a child the well so they won't bring disgrace to the family

Kobojunkie:
Do you know what makes a relationship toxic? Such a situation typically results when one partner or side is forced to sacrifice more than the other in order to achieve what he/she perceives as the perfect relationship or what pretends to be so. If you find yourself in such a situation, you are already deep in a toxic relationship and you are best getting yourself out before your mind is completely messed up by it.

What of lies or deceits-cheats,shit and bullshit on/of bedsheets, etc..., adultery (and fornications...?),etc...?...

Kobojunkie:
Do you know what makes a relationship toxic? Such a situation typically results when one partner or side is forced to sacrifice more than the other in order to achieve what he/she perceives as the perfect relationship or what pretends to be so. If you find yourself in such a situation, you are already deep in a toxic relationship and you are best getting yourself out before your mind is completely messed up by it.

Now, people would begin to think deep or dig deep,etc; to know or define/explain the difference(s),etc; between relationships and marriages...? I can begin to talk about "relationships with the kids and... what"?... Or, did you want to talk about relationships, fellowships, friendships, courtships, worships, warships, sheeps,ships, hips, lips,wetlips or pink lips,followership,"lowership", "courtesanship" citizenship,discipleship,etc...?...