Yugoslavia247:


Everyone is perfect until you hear the other side then the truth

No one is perfect of course, but at least get married to someone who's weakness you can tolerate bro. That's one of the keys to having a successful union. Imagine a woman who loves doing rough play or childish antics getting married to a man that hates that with passion, while such is not a crime their union may not last except if the man is ready to tolerate the woman or the woman is ready to tolerate the man and adjust. The correct word I was looking for is compromise sef.
Individual differences will surely abound, but what happens when some of the things that your partner is fond of doing are things you hate with passion??
e.g having a partner that smokes heavily. 🤷🤷

slimzypink:
So quick one, I will try not to make it long.
I was living in an Asian country and I met a Nigerian . I had a very good job, apparently I got a better offer to another country. But then I was seeing this guy . He proposed marriage i was a bit held back as I wasn’t so sure of it. Anyways his parents came to mine in Nigeria and we did a kind of online trad wedding. I moved without him to my new country. While he was left back in Asia. Told him he would have to come to Nigeria so we do court marriage then I can apply for him to join me.

The issue now is that before he came to Nigeria as I was coming for a short visit, I broke up and said I don’t want to do the court marriage . But he insisted his family kept begging and I stupidly agreed.

There have been so many red flags that made me scared

1-he drinks a lot and I have tried to caution him . He said he changed
2-he was illegal in the Asian country for over 6 years making it seem like he is using me for visa purposes
3- his anger issues is top notch and it seems I really can’t control his anger
4- he has nothing doing just anywhere hustle is he does , no focus . all he has is big dreams and he said I should take a loan for his dreams.
5. Told him that if he eventually moves in with me he must work. But I am scared that the lazy attitude he had will still be there . And for some reasons he always attacks me that I am proud cause I have a good job.
Now I am not looking down on him to be Honest. I can be with a man who I am higher than but he should show prospect of wanting to be better than me or at least prospect of wanting to work.

Now he has been illegal in Asia for years so he never left cause he had no papers but because of the court marriage he took the leap and left. During the court marriage on the the day I said I couldn’t go on with it.all my friends that knew him said I shouldn’t go on with it . And he begged and begged. Felt bad for him and I agreed. At least so I take him out of naija back



I went back to my work and he is left in Nigeria just for me to process his papers . But I am having those fears again. That I made a big mistake. My brother met him and the first thing he went doing was going to buy alcohol about 33% own and he downed it in front of my brother he was just meeting the first time . Even on the day of the counselling at regristry the lady there was saying your husband is not patient and all. So I am in a dilemma

I want to look for a way out . How do I divorce him. I fear he will not give me the divorce. Court marriage is barely 2 months as well.

Admin please don’t take this to front page

avoid him..the signs plenty.move on.but you should not have led him on based on marriage things.avoid while you can

Aaaaarghmed:
avoid him..the signs plenty.move on.but you should not have led him on based on marriage things.avoid while you can

Yea I know now. I will rather do it now than stay long in a marriage I am scared of how worst he can become.

Why didn't you leave him to keep hustling in Asia? Why did you make him come back and get stuck here when you knew you were having cold feet about the marriage? This is why I keep saying that vagina people are the most heartless being to have existed in this wonderful world.