Ololade4:
Good day House.. I am an ardent Nairalander but I am using another identity to cover up..

It's almost over a year now that i started the journey with her, I met her parents 4 months ago, I was told by her day that thier daughter is not free( bride price things) normally... we talked it out and we decided to get marriage.. I am 35, she's 32. She has a 8 years old boy out of wedlock, the boy stays with her parent.. I don't have any problem with that, Single mother is not a disease.. we have being living together since March this year, just like a couple and i decided to tie the knot with her later in the year which we both agreed on.

So we both agreed to go for registry then normal engagement and rest the case.. she later changed her mind, she doesn't want the court registry anymore (i am not move with this anyway, but why? Is she having another secret affairs elsewhere, or maybe she's thinking she may leave if things go south, like she doesn't want to get into a legal marriage that will hinder her from having choice in the nearest future, because I don't understand..).. She only want Engagement, without the court registry for now.
Anytime her parents, especially her mom ask her about it in the wedding plan, she will tell her we will do it later in the future .
As a man in the first place I don't need to worry about this in the first place, because all this court marriage registration only favor the woman and I know most of them crave for it...

But she... What is she up to??

See this one. You no wan use your head at the age of 35? God!! Who do you this thing?

pocohantas:
I love that girl.



I hope other ladies can read and learn. The reason some men claim they don't want marriage or they have more to lose is because women carry it for head. Always fighting tooth and nail for (registry) marriage. So they sit back and allow you do all the work while acting like they did you a favour marrying you. Have you ever considered the fact that you would be the one needing to escape from an evil man in record time? Breaking head over a man's property even at the expense of your life.

This OP claims it favours women more but he is restless because he met a woman who has mastered her emotions. He wishes she were chasing him upandan for a legal wedding and flying to catch ring. He is bothered because he doesn't hold all the ACES.

Isn't this the kinda arrangement they claim to want online? #TEAMBABYMAMA? Why is OP worried and why the responses from his fellow men above?

Men want this marriage as much as you do if not more. If they hated marriage so much, they wouldn't be open to polygamy or rushing to marry another wife after a divorce or death of the first wife. No man keeps two (polygamy), even four of what he doesn't benefit from. They benefit heavily from marriage. In fact, after tasting marriage, they find it hard to stay alone again. Unlike women who would rather enjoy companionship without commitment.

Stop fighting these men over registry. Tell him you don't want. Let him be the one to create thread and beg you to sign those lines. Stop begging them to see the usefulness in marriage. Stop answering stupid NL questions like "what can you offer a man?" He has the option of remaining single or marrying a fellow man or new yam.

You are the prize.
If he isn't giving you same energy, disembark.

Though I know many men are capping, even if you want to deceive yourself, don't deceive others.

Men marrying and philandering with multiple women mostly relates to lack of discipline, ego et all not fighting for what they don't like. Isn't it worse that the women still agree to be with such men who already have multiple women as wives/concubine's ?

If such women have values as your insinuate, they wouldn't settle for such men.


Asking a woman what she brings to the table is a valid question as it's a very simple and easy way to dismiss unserious women when seeking for a relationship. Women actually have values they bring into a man's life but ask the average woman this question and she would barely utter a reasonable answer.

Like I said earlier, you can choose to decieve yourself but don't pull others into your self imposed deceit.

stacyadams:



they are advicing u now and ur saying single mother no be disease

Kontinue

Ise Cele don catch him . 99% of single mother that are desperately seeking marriage are fetish .

Ololade4:
Good day House.. I am an ardent Nairalander but I am using another identity to cover up..

It's almost over a year now that i started the journey with her, I met her parents 4 months ago, I was told by her day that thier daughter is not free( bride price things) normally... we talked it out and we decided to get marriage.. I am 35, she's 32. She has a 8 years old boy out of wedlock, the boy stays with her parent.. I don't have any problem with that, Single mother is not a disease.. we have being living together since March this year, just like a couple and i decided to tie the knot with her later in the year which we both agreed on.

So we both agreed to go for registry then normal engagement and rest the case.. she later changed her mind, she doesn't want the court registry anymore (i am not move with this anyway, but why? Is she having another secret affairs elsewhere, or maybe she's thinking she may leave if things go south, like she doesn't want to get into a legal marriage that will hinder her from having choice in the nearest future, because I don't understand..).. She only want Engagement, without the court registry for now.
Anytime her parents, especially her mom ask her about it in the wedding plan, she will tell her we will do it later in the future .
As a man in the first place I don't need to worry about this in the first place, because all this court marriage registration only favor the woman and I know most of them crave for it...

But she... What is she up to??

You people don't like to hear word ..leave single mother alone for your own good, nobody knows how to scheme like them , she is already scheming, it obvious she doesn't see a long future with you because you obviously can't provide the kind of life she wants for her son , she is still keeping he options open

Luckysbab:


Aren't many of them child-like anyways, young or old?

Sometimes, you just have to wonder aloud at the level of naivety , for lack of a better description.

Met a considerable number of females on this platform with fine brains in their heads. Females you can comfortably engage and expect informed responses from. This particular one is a menace and an avoidable irritant.

Aile:
You should grateful bro

He mentioned he is. But it's definitely concerning. Though rather than whining, he should just softpedal a bit and see what's unfolding, cos he might just be setting himself up for wahala, even putting his life in danger.

pocohantas:
I love that girl.

I hope other ladies can read and learn. The reason some men claim they don't want marriage or they have more to lose is because women carry it for head. Always fighting tooth and nail for (registry) marriage. So they sit back and allow you do all the work while acting like they did you a favour marrying you. Have you ever considered the fact that you would be the one needing to escape from an evil man in record time? Breaking head over a man's property even at the expense of your life.

This OP claims it favours women more but he is restless because he met a woman who has mastered her emotions. He wishes she were chasing him upandan for a legal wedding and flying to catch ring. He is bothered because he doesn't hold all the ACES.

Isn't this the kinda arrangement they claim to want online? #TEAMBABYMAMA? Why is OP worried and why the responses from his fellow men above?

Men want this marriage as much as you do if not more. If they hated marriage so much, they wouldn't be open to polygamy or rushing to marry another wife after a divorce or death of the first wife. No man keeps two (polygamy), even four of what he doesn't benefit from. They benefit heavily from marriage. In fact, after tasting marriage, they find it hard to stay alone again. Unlike women who would rather enjoy companionship without commitment.

Stop fighting these men over registry. Tell him you don't want. Let him be the one to create thread and beg you to sign those lines. Stop begging them to see the usefulness in marriage. Stop answering stupid NL questions like "what can you offer a man?" He has the option of remaining single or marrying a fellow man or new yam.

You are the prize.
If he isn't giving you same energy, disembark.

OP can you see your life outside like dis. Read this up here and see weytin u dun become.

Ahmed0336:
No vex o, between the both of you, who get money/ assets pass?

lol. Baba na d lady oooo.

Ololade4:



You're judging the book by its cover.. She even want the marriage more than me, I always have my emotion on check when dealing with a woman.. do u know how many emotional trauma I don give am?? Trust me she's even the one doing the chasing...

You have your emotions in check, na em a young 35 year old man like yourself deh settle for an old 32 year old single mother?
Nawa for you.

BoldBrainz:


Met a considerable number of females on this platform with fine brains in their heads. Females you can comfortably engage and expect informed responses from. This particular one is a menace and an avoidable irritant.

If they wouldn't see the mentions, I would have appreciated you list some of them. Cos honestly I have to go back to posts from way back to come across honest and objective opinions from females here. And many of them aren't even active again.

I can only identify 1, maybe 2 (just maybe) who I still find their comments worth engaging meaningfully.

32 year old single mother refusing court wedding . E be like na OP wan wed the female and not the other way round .

SalamRushdie:


You people don't like to hear word ..leave single mother alone for your own good, nobody knows how to scheme like them , she is already scheming, it obvious she doesn't see a long future with you because you obviously can't provide the kind of life she wants for her son , she is still keeping he options open

I feel like slapping the OP. There are different types of daddy. Real daddy, baby daddy, step daddy...but na step daddy op wan become, as if that is not enough, he still wan dey legal with who no want am.. they are surely following him from his village

pocohantas:
I love that girl.



I hope other ladies can read and learn. The reason some men claim they don't want marriage or they have more to lose is because women carry it for head. Always fighting tooth and nail for (registry) marriage. So they sit back and allow you do all the work while acting like they did you a favour marrying you. Have you ever considered the fact that you would be the one needing to escape from an evil man in record time? Breaking head over a man's property even at the expense of your life.

This OP claims it favours women more but he is restless because he met a woman who has mastered her emotions. He wishes she were chasing him upandan for a legal wedding and flying to catch ring. He is bothered because he doesn't hold all the ACES.

Isn't this the kinda arrangement they claim to want online? #TEAMBABYMAMA? Why is OP worried and why the responses from his fellow men above?

Men want this marriage as much as you do if not more. If they hated marriage so much, they wouldn't be open to polygamy or rushing to marry another wife after a divorce or death of the first wife. No man keeps two (polygamy), even four of what he doesn't benefit from. They benefit heavily from marriage. In fact, after tasting marriage, they find it hard to stay alone again. Unlike women who would rather enjoy companionship without commitment.

Stop fighting these men over registry. Tell him you don't want. Let him be the one to create thread and beg you to sign those lines. Stop begging them to see the usefulness in marriage. Stop answering stupid NL questions like "what can you offer a man?" He has the option of remaining single or marrying a fellow man or new yam.

You are the prize.
If he isn't giving you same energy, disembark.

Stop rejoicing over a SIMP, he doesn't represent majority of the Men in Nigeria and abroad

I just pity the op....

obaidan:


OP can you see your life outside like dis. Read this up here and see weytin u dun become.

Ololade4:



You're judging the book by its cover.. She even want the marriage more than me, I always have my emotion on check when dealing with a woman.. do u know how many emotional trauma I don give am?? Trust me she's even the one doing the chasing...

She is the one doing the chasing yet you are the one running to Nairaland crying for help. She is the one chasing you yet she is the one posting her mum whenever she asks her of wedding day? Oga, I agree with Pocahontas for the first time, baby mama is doing pong with your brain, you don't have any emotions in check.

Ololade4:



You're judging the book by its cover.. She even want the marriage more than me, I always have my emotion on check when dealing with a woman.. do u know how many emotional trauma I don give am?? Trust me she's even the one doing the chasing...

She is the one doing the chasing yet you are the one running to Nairaland crying for help. She is the one chasing you yet she is the one posting her mum whenever she asks her of wedding day? Oga, I agree with Pocahontas for the first time, baby mama is doing pong with your brain, you don't have any emotions in check.

iamtardey:
it is what it is to me. Everyone in it always end up having problem after them no fit take an again… few people just manage manage manage am till death because…. Haha I don’t just like that shit

What exactly is this problem you claim everyone in it always end up having?

ExtremeDot:

You have your emotions in check, na em a young 35 year old man like yourself deh settle for an old 32 year old single mother?
Nawa for you.

The bro himself seems deluded jare. He doesn't know it is when you think you are "in charge" with a woman that you are more likely to be just a toilet paper.

BENEAMATA:
32 year old single mother refusing court wedding . E be like na OP wan wed the female and not the other way round .

I feel op is rich but either impotent or a dwarf or so so unpresentable.

SalamRushdie:


You people don't like to hear word ..leave single mother alone for your own good, nobody knows how to scheme like them , she is already scheming, it obvious she doesn't see a long future with you because you obviously can't provide the kind of life she wants for her son , she is still keeping he options open

Where is the lie!

My Kinda arrangement. Married with freedom to be you

You do not need marriage certificate to get such visas. they have whatsapp chats, rent payment and pictorial evience.

TemplarLandry:
Do you intend to be in a marriage that isn't legally binding?

If you want to apply for a family visa in the future, which proof are you going to present?

Tell her if she's not interested in registry, you're no longer interested in marrying her. This type of a woman will give you problems in the future.

cobby14:
My Kinda arrangement. Married with freedom to be you

She equally has freedom to abandon you when she has had enough of you.

odi1278:
You do not need marriage certificate to get such visas. they have whatsapp chats, rent payment and pictorial evience.

No country will give you and your family a visa without a certificate to prove your marriage.

I hope it's not d girl currently using as a side chick cos she also has an a boy of 8 yrs..

I hope it's not d girl currently using as a side chick cos she also has an a boy of 8 yrs.. But first were is ur current location of Dat woman before I go further

Kobojunkiee:
Oboy, why you dey ask us this kain question? If she no wan marry again, ask her why and come tell us her answer. Obviously, her issue isn't with court marriage but seems to be with marriage with you altogether. She no wan make e dey her record say she marry you. Na you suppose tell us why.

It's hard not to agree with this, even though it's coming from this hopeless Junkie.

OP, this is what you really should reflect on.

AchrafHakimi:
Simping is worse than Ebola.
Only SATAN II missile can destroy it.

pls stooooop it 😂😂😂

Ololade4:
Good day House.. I am an ardent Nairalander but I am using another identity to cover up..

It's almost over a year now that i started the journey with her, I met her parents 4 months ago, I was told by her day that thier daughter is not free( bride price things) normally... we talked it out and we decided to get marriage.. I am 35, she's 32. She has a 8 years old boy out of wedlock, the boy stays with her parent.. I don't have any problem with that, Single mother is not a disease.. we have being living together since March this year, just like a couple and i decided to tie the knot with her later in the year which we both agreed on.

So we both agreed to go for registry then normal engagement and rest the case.. she later changed her mind, she doesn't want the court registry anymore (i am not move with this anyway, but why? Is she having another secret affairs elsewhere, or maybe she's thinking she may leave if things go south, like she doesn't want to get into a legal marriage that will hinder her from having choice in the nearest future, because I don't understand..).. She only want Engagement, without the court registry for now.
Anytime her parents, especially her mom ask her about it in the wedding plan, she will tell her we will do it later in the future .
As a man in the first place I don't need to worry about this in the first place, because all this court marriage registration only favor the woman and I know most of them crave for it...

But she... What is she up to??

She doesn't want it. What are you still waiting for? Tell her that you are no longer interested in the marriage anymore. There are so many women out there who want to get married.

she's definitely richer ,

Ahmed0336:
No vex o, between the both of you, who get money/ assets pass?

stacyadams:
they are advicing u now and ur saying single mother no be disease

Kontinue

The woman is not the disease and being a single mother isn't a bad thing as there are many reasons why people end up so. Something in the relationship between OP and her however is not right or may not be.

Ololade4:



You're judging the book by its cover.. She even want the marriage more than me, I always have my emotion on check when dealing with a woman.. do u know how many emotional trauma I don give am?? Trust me she's even the one doing the chasing...

You are proud of the bold?
No wonder she doesn't want complication of legal battle in case the marriage hit the rocks.